On Apr 24, 7:27�pm, 'Kate wrote:
On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 23:08:48 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see:

"'Kate" wrote in message
news
On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:36:31 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see:

How much child-free and non-work time do you each (the parents) have?

What does that have to do with her introducing my daughter to people on
first dates, etc.? *

Did you say first dates? I only recall that you said that your ex is on
her sixth guy in 5 months.

And what it has to do with this, is that time matters. This is all about
time.

My ex works 30 hrs./week and has family that will take
care of my daughter any time my ex will let them. *I don't live close to my
daughter, but I use every minute of three weeks of vacation to see my
daughter. *I also pay $8K/year in child support and another $6K/year in
traveling expenses to be with my daughter. *My 39 year old ex wife
introducing her 25 year old boyfriends to my daughter just rubs me the wrong
way a little. *Especially since those relationships don't seem to be lasting
too long.

I see. So your ex has primary custody and you have three weeks during
vacation. Most people get every other week child-free or, at least,
every other weekend and a weekday or so... 50/50. Of course you can date
whomever you want whenever and it is unlikely to affect your daughter. You
have the luxury of being able to get to know a date well before you have
to introduce her to your daughter. Of course your ex would have nothing
bad to say about that. That puts you squarely in the "moral right" by
virtue of the custody arrangements.

I'm not sure what money has to do with this. Wasn't this an ethical/moral
issue? Were you not questioning her values?

For the record, I don't make a habit of dating a number of people
in a short time. I do expect my dates to pick me up at the door. I do
introduce my children to my dates. But then, I have long-term
relationships and I didn't date right after Phil died. My children were
older than your daughter then too. I think you have a right to say what
you feel about your ex's dating habits if they bother you but I don't
think that you have the right to dictate her actions. You do have some say
in what your daughter is exposed to. Any more than an introduction at
first would be too much - so the matter isn't so much how many men she
dates as how much time they spend with your daughter. In that case, I
would say that it isn't unreasonable to not want your daughter to have to
spend hours with someone unless your ex has dated that person, away from
your daughter, for at least 3 months and no sleep overs until ... well, I
never really thought that was appropriate with children in the house until
after marriage. Call me a prude.

'Kate

Prude....... ;-)