Finally in to it all...
lu-lu schrieb:
snip
Sorry for taking up such a long message, but it's also kind of cathartic to
express what I've not been able too.
I remember with Sara, and even with Sam, the feeling that babies can't
really grow inside another human! I mean, come on, an entire person in
my belly, that can't be right. Of course I know it's true and
everything, but still, I looked at my belly, talked to the baby and
everything but it was like the baby I'd be getting would somehow be a
different baby. I don't quite know how to explain it.
And in the last few weeks, every time I'd cuddle with Sam I worried
about what if I don't love the new baby as much as I love Sam. I mean,
what if I look at her and think "Good lord she's ugly!" or something.
And then she finally made her appearance and I looked at her and my
first thought wasn't "Oh my god she's beautiful" it was "Man she's huge!
Now I know why I was feeling so horrible." kind of thing. And my best
friend who was with me for the birth kept saying "Oh she's so beautiful"
and I thought "yeah, give me a break, it's a baby." and then they handed
her to me and I melted and oh she was the sweetest thing I'd ever seen *lol*
Another woman I met during birthing class for Sam said with her first
child it took her a day to get to the "Oh I love him" stage. So it's not
that uncommon to not feel the "love at first sight" thing.
cu
nicole
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