Visitors: when to start receiving them?

Related to that: how does one politely explain to family members that
one does not wish to be visited in the hospital? It wasn't an issue with
my first, but it might be with this one. I just don't want to deal with
anybody else until I'm on my home turf.

When I was in the hospital, I asked the nurses to put a sign on my
door which read, "New mom and baby are resting, please check in at
nursing station before entering room".
It worked great.

Nan

"Anonymama" wrote in message
...

Related to that: how does one politely explain to family members that
one does not wish to be visited in the hospital? It wasn't an issue with
my first, but it might be with this one. I just don't want to deal with
anybody else until I'm on my home turf.

You tell them exactly that. That's what I did the second time around. "I'd
prefer to see people once I get home." Yeah, my mom and MIL were kind of
angry at first, but once they got to see her they got over it.

JennP.

Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward wrote:
What should be my policy on visitors once I've had the baby, given this
is going to be my first child?

Some family members would come to stay for a few days, and some would
be just friends coming for a quick peek at the baby.

If relevant, my husband and I will both be off from work - he for the
first month, me for the first four months.

No hard and fast policy, you never know when you are going to want to
show off your little one, need some help, or just want some company.
All our family lives quite far away. Since my husband was off for the
first two weeks I just told my mom that I would really appreciate if
she came to stay for the week she had planned after he went back to
work so that I wouldn't have all the help at once and then be left to
my own devices. She was OK with that. We didn't have any visitors in
the hospital (only stayed for 36 hours) and didn't even think about it
until I saw into other women's rooms and then I felt a *tiny* bit
envious of their visitors and hoopla. Friends started coming by for
short visits a couple of days after we got home which we really
enjoyed.

We had a friend come to stay for a couple of days a few days after my
daughter was born (he was in town for something else, not just to visit
us). It was OK by me though since he is an OB/GYN and father of 4, the
youngest was born just 2 months before mine so he knew what he was
getting into. I can't think of too many other people I would have
welcomed for overnight visits at that point though.

Elle

Anonymama wrote:
In article ,
"Jamie Clark" wrote:

But as soon as we were home,
people came to visit.

Related to that: how does one politely explain to family members that
one does not wish to be visited in the hospital? It wasn't an issue with
my first, but it might be with this one. I just don't want to deal with
anybody else until I'm on my home turf.
--
Sara

Any reason why you wouldn't want them to visit you at the hospital?
Because it sounds pretty selfish of you to not allow them to see the
newborn. Imagine how you would feel if your daughter didn't want you to
visit her in the hospital to see your own grandchild.

Regards...

wrote in message
oups.com...

Any reason why you wouldn't want them to visit you at the hospital?

Yeah, maybe because you might feel like ****, be dead tired and the fact
that you are only there for 48 hours?

JennP.

On 27 Jan 2006 16:27:08 -0800, "
wrote:

Any reason why you wouldn't want them to visit you at the hospital?
Because it sounds pretty selfish of you to not allow them to see the
newborn. Imagine how you would feel if your daughter didn't want you to
visit her in the hospital to see your own grandchild.

Oh please. If people are going to be offended they won't see a baby
for 48 hours, they've got serious issues.
The new mother needs time to rest, if she so desires.

Nan

I am also on the private side but it depends much on how close you are
to people (although having people stay with you can be too close when
you need rest even if you love them to pieces). I got pushed with
number 1 and had my husband then, long passed on, invite his family
which was soon followed by them taking the baby out of my room (next
day with a home birth) and giving her a bottle which made me cry more
than I can tell bc being my first and being so inexperienced about
breastfeeding I could not after the bottle get her to take the breast.
I was so hurt.

With number 2 I was much more assertive (also my DH now is a more
sensitive man) and gave myself room. We only had his mom (I don't have
one but she is just as good as one) but she stayed in a hotel which
gave us the nights to ourselves (her idea, that sweet woman), and then
friends who had babies and were extra sensitive, etc...little by
little.

Hope this helps but go with what you feel. You know your people. Some
rules are best set before hand but don't be surprised if after baby
comes you want to show him/her off and share more than you thought or
you might go into quiet mesmerized time with baby and hubby.

All the best to you
Kath

I personally would not want that either. In my experience the hospital
time is sacred rest time and time to learn to deal with aching,
stitches, learning to breastfeed, and for the three (and other children
if you have them to bond). the baby will belong to the rest of the
world soon enough. It is not about selfishness but about what you can
deal with and the realistic conditions of post-partum particularly
those difficult ones or those that require surgery and stitches. Or
given how long labor was. This is a great time to rest from that with
plenty of nurses to watch over you and baby. You won't have that
after.

Kath

In article ,
"JennP" wrote:

"Anonymama" wrote in message
...

Related to that: how does one politely explain to family members that
one does not wish to be visited in the hospital? It wasn't an issue with
my first, but it might be with this one. I just don't want to deal with
anybody else until I'm on my home turf.

You tell them exactly that. That's what I did the second time around. "I'd
prefer to see people once I get home." Yeah, my mom and MIL were kind of
angry at first, but once they got to see her they got over it.

You're right -- I'll do that (or get my husband to do it, since it's
really in-laws who will need to be held off this time). I had to tell my
mom that I didn't want her staying with us with our first (we had a
small apartment), and she was hurt for a while -- but when it came time
to it, she was glad she had a motel room to escape to.
--
Sara
accompanied by TK, due in April

Quoting, for users of Google Groups:
http://groups.google.com/support/bin...4213&topic=250

In article ,
"JennP" wrote:

wrote in message
oups.com...

Any reason why you wouldn't want them to visit you at the hospital?

Yeah, maybe because you might feel like ****, be dead tired and the fact
that you are only there for 48 hours?

I didn't see the original question (she said innocently), but Jenn is
exactly right -- that's why I don't want visitors.
--
Sara
accompanied by TK, due in April

Quoting, for users of Google Groups:
http://groups.google.com/support/bin...4213&topic=250