Monitoring Teen's Computer Use?

I was concerned about my 14 year old's computer usage. She wanted a MySpace page like her friends but of course once she gets it she is meeting people from God knows where, who may or may not be what they say they are.

Anyhow we wanted to allow her some room to grow but wanted to keep an eye on her as well. We purchased a software program called Spector Pro that allows us to see everything she does on her computer without her knowing she is being monitored.

Sure enough she was chatting to men MUCH older than her about all kinds of things that made my jaw drop. We had a talk with her and explained that we had been monitoring her, for her safety, and would be in the future. We finally came to an agreement that she could keep the computer in her room but would agree to our monitoring her.

Her friends, and even some of MY FRIENDS seem to think this is over the top, invasion of privacy etc. What do you think? I am interested in hearing some other opinions.

"BeaverMom" wrote in message
...

I was concerned about my 14 year old's computer usage. She wanted a
MySpace page like her friends but of course once she gets it she is
meeting people from God knows where, who may or may not be what they
say they are.

Anyhow we wanted to allow her some room to grow but wanted to keep an
eye on her as well. We purchased a software program called Spector Pro
that allows us to see everything she does on her computer without her
knowing she is being monitored.

Is this a shill for that software program you mentioned?
I do not agree with spying on kids and monitoring them behind their backs.
That erodes trust and just makes them more sneaky.
State upfront what your expectations and rules are and that you can and will
check up on them at any time, and actually follow through with that.
Kids don't need Myspace to communicate with others online, and if they are
actually going out to meet with them, well that's a whole other problem.

"BeaverMom" wrote in message
...

I was concerned about my 14 year old's computer usage. She wanted a
MySpace page like her friends but of course once she gets it she is
meeting people from God knows where, who may or may not be what they
say they are.

Anyhow we wanted to allow her some room to grow but wanted to keep an
eye on her as well. We purchased a software program called Spector Pro
that allows us to see everything she does on her computer without her
knowing she is being monitored.

Sure enough she was chatting to men MUCH older than her about all kinds
of things that made my jaw drop. We had a talk with her and explained
that we had been monitoring her, for her safety, and would be in the
future. We finally came to an agreement that she could keep the
computer in her room but would agree to our monitoring her.

Her friends, and even some of MY FRIENDS seem to think this is over the
top, invasion of privacy etc. What do you think? I am interested in
hearing some other opinions.

That's why our computer is in the kitchen. Don't sneak around. That's
disrespectful. Just let her know she is being monitored and for Pete's
sake, move the computer out of the bedroom. That's just asking for trouble.