Christmas news letter

[photo]

Left to right, Yours truly, Wendy and Mary in the background, Johnny,
Brigid, George and dear Wife Madge

Phew! Just about found time to keep you all up to date this year now
that the fire brigade have gone. They really should put a warning on
those big plastic inflatable Santa and tell us that they catch fire if
the kids stuff them up the chimney.

Talking of kids, they have all been such great fun since I last wrote
to you all. Here is just one of the many endearing stories about each
of them that will help explain the joy they have given us this past
year!!!

Little Johnny started things of with a literal bang. His trick of
stretching cling film over grandma and granddad's toilet almost
brought the house down! What with the Grands both being somewhat short
sighted and together with G'dads prostate problems, neither of them
noticed the big puddle accumulating in their upstairs bathroom. I was
only just beginning to turn my attention to the large yellow stain that
had appeared on the kitchen ceiling when CRASH! Down it all came! The
builders just about had everything cleared up by Easter but the boiler
house damage meant that poor tiddles had to have her kittens somewhere
else this year.

The spring cleaning was going very well for my darling wife, a task she
always manages with consummate ease. Imagine my surprise when she had
to ask me for some help this year! I had no idea how extensive the task
was or even how messy the car had become! The bonnet was in a terrible
state and it took me hours to clean up the mess from inside it, of
course when it came to wondering how those brave people managed when
they had to clean up after the july bombings in London, I new exactly
what was involved.
I suppose it was a hard lesson but little Brigid ( 5 this year!) now
knows all about cats and kittens seeking out warm places.

Other than the minor upset when Mary's 18th birthday clashed with
our 18th wedding anniversary, (Oops) Mary has become a very popular
girl. Just by chance I happened to overhear a couple of lads chatting
on the street corner nearby about what fun she is now! It all started
back in the spring when she decided to hold some dancing lessons in the
garage as a way to make a few bob for her summer holidays. She
certainly has been attracting plenty of support with a constant queue
of lads waiting for lessons and she has certainly transformed the
garage. Those new purple and pink scatter cushions have covered all of
those old oil stains on the floor and what a brilliant idea to support
the old sagging roof with a nice new shiny pole before she put those
spot lights and speakers up in the ceiling!

Wendy had a great time on her school outing and I must say that she
looks like being the most enterprising of all. Who needs a leaving cert
when she can make a fortune selling half bottles of vodka on the school
bus for double their cost! Not sure of where her initial investment
cash came from but what the hell if she can double it!

Talking of summer holidays, this years family trip to the Masi Mara
game park has to be the highlight of the year!!! Pity we had to leave
half of George's leg there inside that crocodile and the near miss
with the lions and Johnny's arm only goes to show how fortunate we
are here in Ireland that St Patrick made it such a safe place to bring
up children!

Just last month I thought I had solved the mystery of the missing cash
from Brigid's moneybox! Gnasher the pit bull got stuck in to an
intruder early one morning and gave him a real going over. Unfortunatly
it was a case of mistaken identity. It also now means a trip up to the
post office for my dear wife to collect the welfare but I'm told the
postman will make a full recovery soon and should be home for
Christmas!

I know that some of you have been a little busy these last 10 years or
so but please make an effort to drop in and see us in 2006? I promise
that Johnny has got rid of those electronic whoopee cushions that gave
you all such a "shock" last time (Ha Ha, that was punny!)

So it just leaves me to say a big "Thank you" and a "Merry
Christmas" to you all for being such great readers over the years and
I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say a very special "Thank
You" to Moonshyne for posting the FAQ

Dennis ;-)