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single parenting help
Hi everyone,
I'm a single mother of a four year old boy. I have problem with his kicking behaviour, I don't know how to stop him from doing it. Is it something that he will just outgrown or is it something that has to stop right now or he will grow up with it. I would really appreciate every advice. Thank you very much. Lisa |
#2
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single parenting help
He needs to stop kicking - as an adult, you know this.
What have you tried, so far, to convince him he'd be a happier camper if he doesn't kick people? "Snow Leopard" wrote in message ... Hi everyone, I'm a single mother of a four year old boy. I have problem with his kicking behaviour, I don't know how to stop him from doing it. Is it something that he will just outgrown or is it something that has to stop right now or he will grow up with it. I would really appreciate every advice. Thank you very much. Lisa |
#3
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single parenting help
"Snow Leopard" wrote in message ... Hi everyone, I'm a single mother of a four year old boy. I have problem with his kicking behaviour, I don't know how to stop him from doing it. Is it something that he will just outgrown or is it something that has to stop right now or he will grow up with it. I would really appreciate every advice. Thank you very much. Lisa Ha! 4 year old! Sucks big time to be you! Oh, wait... Darn... Mine is 4 as well - but not for too much longer! To be quite honest, and coming from someone who has a 4 year old, it needs to stop and it needs to stop now. At 4 years of age, they understand and know the basics between right and wrong. They also know the basics on what is good behavior and what behavior is unacceptable. I've found that hitting isn't as easy to stop as something like biting is. B had a major biting problem when he was about 2. My mom - and everyone else in the family - kept telling me to bite him back. I thought this was just the stupidest thing to do, but finally, after a long time of really doing nothing about the biting, I did bite him back. Not hard, didn't break the skin, didn't leave marks on him or even really a red spot, but I bit him enough for him to see that it really did hurt me when he did it, and to my surprise, it stopped. Bite back seems to be the common solution that a lot of people suggest trying and I find it worked for us. Hitting, and kicking, on the other hand, aren't so easy to deal with. There's some things you should think about first... When does the hitting come? - Is he angry? Is he sad? Frustrated? Playing? Bored? If he's hitting out of anger or frustration, you need to intervene when he first starts to get angry. Do you tell him no (wants snacks as your making supper - no, you may not have a snack, I'm making supper type situation) and he doesn't get it and starts hitting? I've found in cases like that, what I did was I'd distract him. "Snack please!" -"No, I am right in the middle of making supper. Would you like some crayons and paper? You could draw me a nice picture that we could put on the fridge." It didn't work right away, but with consistency, I find that eventually he started to get it and understand. When he'd hit me out of anger, in a public place or a place where a distraction is a bit harder, I've really gotten good and catching his arm as he swings. I'd hold his hand, get down to his eye level and look at him and tell him, "No hitting. It's not nice and it hurts me when you hit me. I do not hit you so there is no reason to hit me." And although, at first, I thought I was making him feel bad, and I felt bad doing that, I soon realized that even if I was making him feel bad for doing something that really is bad (without actually telling him 'you're being bad!') it also made him think about what he was doing. For my son, I've found that yelling, shouting, screaming, swearing and dead threats are useless and go 0-60 --never. I let him pout. I do not let him hit and kick and he's doing real good with that. Pouting is allowed, and most of the time Pout Time is spent away from me. I've tried taking toys away, taking special treats or TV time and tossing it, but at 4, IME, that kind of stuff just doesn't work well with a 4 year old. Reinforcement seems to work wonders, and so does consistency. -- A: Because it messes up the order in which people normally read text. Q: Why is top-posting such a bad thing? A: Top-posting. Q: What is the most annoying thing on usenet? |
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single parenting help
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single parenting help
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