Can we cope with twins- no spin answers sought

BillyO writes:
At a minimum I had planned to take a month off work after the birth so
we can be together. Can we cope or will we absolutely need help?

I don't think you absolutely need help (paid or otherwise), but most
people find it makes life a lot easier and more pleasant.

IMHO, if you can afford to not work for a month, you'd be better off
going back to work after a week, and hiring someone to come help out
several hours a week for the first several months. Even when you're
going to work 40 hours a week, rest assured, you'll have plenty of
"togetherness" with your wife and kids the other 128 hours of the week.

David desJardins

Bravo for making the wise decision to have a parent stay home and raise your
own children, it will be such a blessing!! And how wonderful that you can
take a month off (or more)!! Though I also had a 3.5 year old to contend
with when our twins were born, it was so nice to have the occasional help!!
I even had my step-mom and then a "step" grandma come at 6 weeks and then at
2.5 mos (??) to come help. I would suggest that after that first month then
maybe just going back part time (if you can) for a few weeks (or maybe doing
the 3days on 4 days off then vice verse)....this will help TREMENDOUSLY!!!!
Are you going to cloth diaper? Look into your local diapering service and
get a month or two of service, until things calm down and then you can just
launder them yourself (or just keep the service!!)...if anything, make sure
you're around to help with the doctor visits!!!! LOL

Good Luck and Congratulations!
Gwen
"BillyO" wrote in message
...
Hello everyone,

We're expecting identical twin boys very early in the new year, they
will be our first. At my workplace and my spouse's there has been a
flash flood of new mummies and daddies. When they hear we're having
twins the boilerplate reponse is "I hope you have *LOTS* of help,
you're going to need it". Perhaps this is because the default
assumption is both parents will be working, even if it's part-time. In
our case we decided to have my wife quit her job. As for help, my
family is in Europe and my wife's is not exactly local. At a minimum I
had planned to take a month off work after the birth so we can be
together. Can we cope or will we absolutely need help?

TIA for your wisdom.

BillyO writes:
At a minimum I had planned to take a month off work after the birth so
we can be together. Can we cope or will we absolutely need help?

I don't think you absolutely need help (paid or otherwise), but most
people find it makes life a lot easier and more pleasant.

Yes, I agree. I had a C-section and it was great having my husband and one or
another of my sisters there to do most of the diapering and walking up and down
and so on (not to mention cooking, laundry, etc.). It helped tremendously that
almost all I *had* to do for a few weeks was take care of myself and feed the
babies.

--Helen

Guess what?? Your wife is going to need a lot of help, and I hope you help her
out, even at the end of your one month off. (I think David's idea is a good
one) I had no family nearby, or friends for that matter (new to the area)
and my DH could not take off, but he was as great a help as he could possibly
be. We had 2 girls come in once a week to clean. And that's all. I survived,
but just. It would have been more enjoyable if I had a little more help so I
could get a few zzzz's and some socialization. You can cope, but why not get a
little bit of extra help, hired, and take all the offered help you can, and
enjoy the babies.

JMO,
Stephanie
Jake and Ryan 9/3/99

Subject: Can we cope with twins- no spin answers sought
From: BillyO
Date: Mon, Aug 25, 2003 4:31 PM
Message-id:

Hello everyone,

We're expecting identical twin boys very early in the new year, they
will be our first. At my workplace and my spouse's there has been a
flash flood of new mummies and daddies. When they hear we're having
twins the boilerplate reponse is "I hope you have *LOTS* of help,
you're going to need it". Perhaps this is because the default
assumption is both parents will be working, even if it's part-time. In
our case we decided to have my wife quit her job. As for help, my
family is in Europe and my wife's is not exactly local. At a minimum I
had planned to take a month off work after the birth so we can be
together. Can we cope or will we absolutely need help?

TIA for your wisdom.

We had help for about 6 weeks. Dh took 2 weeks off and we had 4 family members
fly out in succession for about a week each. This worked out well for us. I
had a c-section, so help that first week it was essential. After that, the
girls started to get colicy so we really did need the help for those next few
weeks too. After that we were on our own. Dh was back at work full time. It
would have been nice to have family nearby to help but we got by ok.

If you have kids with an easy temperaments you can probably get by with less
help. It will also depend on you --- how little sleep can you get by on, how
often do you need to get out, how much experience you've had with young babies,
etc. There are so many variables. What worked for us might not work for you.
But I found that having that help the first 6 weeks got us through the hardest
period.

Good Luck!

Lori

We had no help, no family near by. DH took off two weeks and that was it. I
did quit my job and stay home full time with the girls. It can be done but
would have been better to have had help. You may want to do it all to prove
a point (as I think we did sometimes) but it's tiring. Two babies are a lot
of work. One baby is a lot of work. If you can afford help and can find it,
go for it. If not, don't stress. Life will go on. The kids will grow up but
you might remember it more if you get more sleep. The first 7 months are a
blur to me.
Congratulations!!!! Your life is about to get a lot fuller and definitely
more interesting!
--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00

"BillyO" wrote in message
...
Hello everyone,

We're expecting identical twin boys very early in the new year, they
will be our first. At my workplace and my spouse's there has been a
flash flood of new mummies and daddies. When they hear we're having
twins the boilerplate reponse is "I hope you have *LOTS* of help,
you're going to need it". Perhaps this is because the default
assumption is both parents will be working, even if it's part-time. In
our case we decided to have my wife quit her job. As for help, my
family is in Europe and my wife's is not exactly local. At a minimum I
had planned to take a month off work after the birth so we can be
together. Can we cope or will we absolutely need help?

TIA for your wisdom.

I'm going through the same questions with expecting triplets. My family
lives on the other side of the country, my MIL is disabled, unable to help,
and my SIL's family is very busy with their very active 5 & 7 yr old boys.
My mom will be coming out for the first 2 months to help, but after that, I
will probably be asking for help from my church., many of whom have already
offered their services. While I don't think it is impossible for you and
your wife to handle taking care of the twins by yourselves, accept any and
every bit of help offered. Seek out Mother of Twins clubs etc for support.
I know they would be willing to come help as well.

"BillyO" wrote in message
...
Hello everyone,

We're expecting identical twin boys very early in the new year, they
will be our first. At my workplace and my spouse's there has been a
flash flood of new mummies and daddies. When they hear we're having
twins the boilerplate reponse is "I hope you have *LOTS* of help,
you're going to need it". Perhaps this is because the default
assumption is both parents will be working, even if it's part-time. In
our case we decided to have my wife quit her job. As for help, my
family is in Europe and my wife's is not exactly local. At a minimum I
had planned to take a month off work after the birth so we can be
together. Can we cope or will we absolutely need help?

TIA for your wisdom.