another breastfeeding thing :)

"Jill" wrote in message
. com...

The problem
will be dealing with inlaws and family "I started solids at 4 months and
it
didn't hurt anything!" etc etc....I don't know this will be a problem, but
I
have become tuned in since becoming pregnant, whereas I didn't pay much
attention before, that inlaws CAN be a pain! This has always been a big
worry of mine.....I am afraid someone will do something to undermine my
decision for my baby, behind my back, and it makes me afraid to leave her
unsupervised with even the grandmothers (or especially the grandmothers!)
etc.

Unless you're planning on returning to work and one of the grandmothers is
going to be a caregiver, there's no reason why your baby will need to be
alone with them. Seriously, if you don't trust them, don't leave your child
at their houses. They're not going to be able to do anything against your
wishes with you in the room with them. And based on some of your other
posts I've read on this ng, personally, I wouldn't leave the baby with them
anyway (as it sounds like they're already accustomed to ignoring your
wishes).


Also, a part of me also just feels that *I* want to be the one to
transition
my child. *I* want to be there giving her her first solid, and her first
juice etc. Is that Momzilla-ish?

I don't think its Momzilla-ish. You're the parent here, and you know (or
will know) what's best for your child.

nancy

On Fri, 12 Mar 2004 05:41:18 GMT, "Jill" wrote:

My mom is demanding that I keep a notebook with everything she buys the baby
in it written down, so that the baby will be sure to know what SHE bought
for her. If I could just smile and nod.

That is ever a "smile and nod" situtation . Strangely enough I can
tell you (if looking at something of DDs) where we got it from, who
got it for us and what it was for. I don't have a list anywhere except
in my head. A few of these things I ready do have to write down (some
handme down stuff and some specific keepsakes).

Di

Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Jill wrote:

Oh, about Momzilla-ness, I also have other worries that are totally
crazy,,,it's just because I want to experience my baby, the
grandparents had
their chances, but the way they are acting really seems like they want to
relive their own new mommy with new baby days all over.


Maybe I'm the odd person out here, but really, what's
wrong with that? When your grandchildren are born someday,
won't you want to sneak back to that delicious new baby time
for a little while?

I'm already looking forward to it -- but it's more the
holding the baby/excitement of reaching milestones thing
than anything else. I don't think that would lead me to
wanting to buy a crib/bottles/etc to have at my house
for a grandkid, unless I was specifically asked to do so.

--
Emily
mom to Toby 5/1/02
Scheherazade, stillborn at 20 weeks, 3/2/04

Emily wrote:
Ericka Kammerer wrote:

Jill wrote:

Oh, about Momzilla-ness, I also have other worries that are totally
crazy,,,it's just because I want to experience my baby, the
grandparents had
their chances, but the way they are acting really seems like they
want to
relive their own new mommy with new baby days all over.

Maybe I'm the odd person out here, but really, what's
wrong with that? When your grandchildren are born someday,
won't you want to sneak back to that delicious new baby time
for a little while?

I'm already looking forward to it -- but it's more the
holding the baby/excitement of reaching milestones thing
than anything else. I don't think that would lead me to
wanting to buy a crib/bottles/etc to have at my house
for a grandkid, unless I was specifically asked to do so.

I actually know quite a few grandparents who
have these things at their homes. All of them have very
good relationships with their children/in-laws (not that
not having such things implies a bad relationship).
Personally, I don't find it at all odd or over the top.
We *could* manage without having supplies at my parents'
house (after all, they're just next door), but it's ever
so convenient to have them there. I absolutely love that
my children feel like they have two homes, and I don't
find that intrusive in terms of my parenting at all.
Anyway, my point was simply to say that while
grandparents who don't respect the parents are definitely
a problem and I can understand why someone would push
back against "overinvolvement" in that situation, I
think that when time, location and relationship permit,
the behaviors described are actually quite normal and
even desirable. My folks don't have that stuff so that
they can parent my children or overrule my parenting
choices. They have it to make their and my lives
easier and more fun. I just love that they enjoy my
children so much and get to spend so much time with them.
When there's respect going both ways between parents
and grandparents, this sort of interdependence is
possible (if both parties want it). I don't need or
want my parents to pussyfoot around, worrying about
whether something they do will infringe on my parenting,
waiting for me to invite them to do things. But then
again, I know they would never do anything to undermine
me, so I don't *have* to worry about that.

Best wishes,
Ericka

I'm not sure you can plan first snow either!


Depends where you live. ;-)

(When we want snow, we go to it. It doesn't come to us.)

BTW, I understand what you're saying about the grandparents taking credit for
the crawling. That's just so obviously dumb that there's no point being
bothered by it, is how I look at it. Perhaps easier said than done!

Holly
Mom to Camden, 3yo
EDD #2 6/8/04