Pregnant with 1st, and scared!

Hi all...my name is Jill and I just turned 27. I have been married since
last October 6...my husband and I decided to stop trying to prevent a baby
just a few weeks ago. I figured it would take a while to get pregnant, but
boom, here I am. I have my first visit with the nurse tomorrow and my
doctor's appointment is at the end of next week when I should be far enough
along (the doctor's office wouldn't take me until I am at 8 weeks or later,
is this normal? I did have the pregnancy confirmed by my primary care
doc...)

Anyway I have developed a big case of cold feet. This is my first pregnancy
and I *am* happy but I am scared to death....will it be uncomfortable, will
it HURT, etc. For one thing I am suffering from nausea almost constantly and
also, I can't sleep. I am having great difficulty in even getting a few
solid hours of sleep. I have stayed up all night several nights already.
That itself, I think, is making my anxiety worse..when you can't sleep and
have hormonal changes...=anxiety.

I am terrified...I am sure everything is fine and I am trying to stay
relaxed. They dr has me taking Zantac to try and do away with the nausea. I
don't vomit a lot but and constantly queasy...my appetite is low, and I have
actually *lost* 6 pounds in a month (I am not dieting!)

I suffer from migraine headaches and the good news is I have not had a
single one.

I just have a few questions..
1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)
2. My doctors are not believers in a pregnant woman taking ANYthing other
than plain Tylenol or Zantac. At least in the first trimester....I was
taking Zanaflex and Klonopin to prevent migraines- it worked very well but
of course I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I checked
weekly.) So currently I am taking no medications except Zantac, and am doing
well, no headaches. I have researched it and get conflicting info...some
doctors allow Klonopin if the MTB is having major panic attacks etc..others
don't. I have read where some say they took Klonopin with no adverse effects
on the baby. I am NOT taking it, to be safe...but what are your thoughts on
medications during each trimester...do you doctors have different opinions?
I think mine err on the safe side and so I follow their advice, but being
unable to sleep and just toss and turn every night is mierable (I never used
Klonopin for sleep, it doesn't make me sleepy, but it was a good headache
preventive for me)...I am just wondering how to deal with anxiety/insonmia
in a medication free way? And thanking god I haven't had a migraine. I
normally use Imitrex and was told I can have none of that while pregnant.
Narcotics generally don't help my migraines. But my ob/gyn told me that
after the first trimester it would be possible for me to take a monitored
number of Darvocet or something, one of the prescription pain relievers with
a Tylenol base and a little bit of narcotic...can some of you share your
experiences with me, and what your own doctors have and have not allowed
during pregnancy? First and foremost I want to do everything possible for a
healthy baby...

And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...

I can already, at 4 -5 weeks or so, tell that my body is changing....weird
things. I have hot flashes- I have always been hot natured, but am now VERY
hot natured...I crave salt really bad (yes I am taking a prenatal
vitamin!)...I am VERY moody, very much....and my skin is itchy everywhere!
My back itches, my legs itch, my face itches..my skin allover feels dry and
itchy. I feel tearful...and a few more embarassing things....

Jill

On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 16:43:23 GMT, "Jill" wrote:


Anyway I have developed a big case of cold feet. This is my first pregnancy
and I *am* happy but I am scared to death....will it be uncomfortable, will
it HURT, etc. For one thing I am suffering from nausea almost constantly and
also, I can't sleep. I am having great difficulty in even getting a few
solid hours of sleep. I have stayed up all night several nights already.
That itself, I think, is making my anxiety worse..when you can't sleep and
have hormonal changes...=anxiety.

I am terrified...I am sure everything is fine and I am trying to stay
relaxed. They dr has me taking Zantac to try and do away with the nausea. I
don't vomit a lot but and constantly queasy...my appetite is low, and I have
actually *lost* 6 pounds in a month (I am not dieting!)

Oh boy, does this ring a bell! I'm also with my first so I can't tell
you that much more than yuo know, but in my 17th week, and I've had
brutal panic attacks almost all the time from when I first found out I
was pregnant. Fortunately, they are starting to go away in the last
week or so, just as my doctor said they would -- they are apparently a
not-uncommon version of first-trimester mood swings. So I'm starting
to feel a lot better and less frightened; here's hoping you will too!

I was also queasy through my first trimester; threw up sometimes but
not often, mostly just didn't eat much, and also lost weight. My
doctor and my friends who have had babies before assured me that a lot
of people lose weight their first trimester and as long as you are
getting enough hydration it's perfectly okay. The nausea will probably
go away with time; if it doesn't, talk to your doctor about what you
need to do to make sure you gain weight when you really need to, but
that isn't yet.

I just have a few questions..
1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)

Yes!! Not just with the first either, although I'm sure that doesn't
help either you or me; it's all so new and the responsibility is
breathtaking. It's normal -- not universal but common -- to have
severe anxiety or panic during early pregnancy, period; it's a common
hormonal effect. And it does ease up with time.

2. My doctors are not believers in a pregnant woman taking ANYthing other
than plain Tylenol or Zantac. At least in the first trimester....I was
taking Zanaflex and Klonopin to prevent migraines- it worked very well but
of course I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I checked
weekly.) So currently I am taking no medications except Zantac, and am doing
well, no headaches. I have researched it and get conflicting info...some
doctors allow Klonopin if the MTB is having major panic attacks etc..others
don't. I have read where some say they took Klonopin with no adverse effects
on the baby. I am NOT taking it, to be safe...but what are your thoughts on
medications during each trimester...do you doctors have different opinions?

I took Ativan for anxiety before I knew I was pregnant, and was told
sharply that I had to stop that; the benzodiazepines are risky for
babies. So I stopped. There are other medicines which are less risky,
though obviously you need to follow the advice of your own doctor
(unless you decide it's really out to lunch, in which case you need a
different doctor). Mine told me that Benadryl for sleep was okay, at
least in the second trimester; I don't know about the first because I
was already into the second by the time I found out I was pregnant
(because of other medical problems, long periods, exhaustion and
nausea were business as usual for me).

And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...

I don't know about a joy; certainly it is sometimes. Sometimes it's
uncomfortable and annoying. Right now I'm doing really well -- the
second trimester is often pretty easy and seems to be working out so
for me; the nausea is mostly gone, the exhaustion is gone, I'm not
showing yet, and I feel pretty normal. And the panic attacks, thank
heaven, are a thing of the past. What I've experienced so far tallies
pretty closely with what my friends who have had babies before tell
me: that at best, pregnancy is joyous; at worst, it is royally
unpleasant but no worse than a really bad day when you're *not*
pregnant, and on average, it can be annoying and uncomfortable but
isn't that big a deal. I can't speak to labor and delivery, I haven't
been there yet.

Good luck!

Naomi
#1 EDD February 28, 2004

"Naomi Rivkis" wrote
I took Ativan for anxiety before I knew I was pregnant, and was told
sharply that I had to stop that; the benzodiazepines are risky for
babies. So I stopped.

Thank you so much for saying this...I guess I kind of danced around it but I
have had problems with anxiety and panic attacks. My doctors always thought
that was why Klonopin was effective at preventing migraines for me, that it
was sedating and maybe stress/tension/anxiety were triggering my migraines.
Of course I had other known migraine triggers such as perfume, going without
eating, my menstrual cycle etc.

My husband doesn't have anxiety so I am always trying to explain to him what
it is like and why you can't just will yourself to " calm down"...the best
way I have found to get him to understand it is "fight or flight", too much
adrenaline...it's like when you get stung by a bee and your heart speeds
up...or when a car pulls out in front of you and you react and avert a
collision but you remain trembly for a few hours....I really think pregnancy
has made this worse and it must be a combination of hormones and lack of
sleep, not helping.

I am glad someone out there understands! Thank you for your post!

Jill

On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 17:26:55 GMT, "Jill" wrote:

My husband doesn't have anxiety so I am always trying to explain to him what
it is like and why you can't just will yourself to " calm down"...the best
way I have found to get him to understand it is "fight or flight", too much
adrenaline...it's like when you get stung by a bee and your heart speeds
up...or when a car pulls out in front of you and you react and avert a
collision but you remain trembly for a few hours....I really think pregnancy
has made this worse and it must be a combination of hormones and lack of
sleep, not helping.

I've told my husband the same thing!! Anxiety disorders show up in the
form of fear but they're not like ordinary fear and just "calming
down" doesn't always work. I've had times when I actually succeeded in
making the fear go away through thought techniques and my body *still*
insisted on going through the whole racing heart adrenaline thing. I
sometimes say it's as if fear is hiding in the crevices between my
bones. I can get it out of my head but I can't get it out of my body.

A pharmacist friend of mine told me that Buspar, one of the
non-benzodiazepine drugs, is good for anxiety and is safe during
pregnancy. I'm going to ask my psychiatrist (who knows I'm pregnant
and has worked with pregnant women before, so I trust her judgment)
whether I should be taking it, even though the panic has calmed down a
lot from where it originally was. You might want to ask your doctor
about it too. At very least, though, know that you're not alone and
that it really does get better as you get later in your term.

I am glad someone out there understands! Thank you for your post!

You're welcome! Glad I could help, if only by empathizing.

Jill

Naomi

"Jill" wrote in message
...
I have my first visit with the nurse tomorrow and my
doctor's appointment is at the end of next week when I should be far
enough
along (the doctor's office wouldn't take me until I am at 8 weeks or
later,
is this normal?

Yes. In the first few weeks of pregnancy, there's no real benefit to being
seen by a doctor. There's nothing they can do that will change the course of
the pregnancy.

I did have the pregnancy confirmed by my primary care doc...)

Probably not necessary. The test the doctor does in his/her office is the
same one you use at home, and therefore no more accurate than your own.

Anyway I have developed a big case of cold feet. This is my first
pregnancy
1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)

I think it's quite normal. FWIW, I was like you in that I got pregnant the
first time almost immediately after going off birth control. Even though I'd
planned the pregnancy, I was still in shock. It happened more quickly than I
anticipated and, as a result, I wasn't as ready as I thought I was when it
actually happened. The good news is that nature gives you a good 8 months to
get used to the idea g! You probably won't stop being nervous, but as your
pregnancy progresses, I suspect it'll get better. (Oh, and when it comes to
labor fears, the best thing you can do to overcome them is to get educated.
A good childbirth education course can work wonders.)

2. My doctors are not believers in a pregnant woman taking ANYthing other
than plain Tylenol or Zantac.

Well, there's not much evidence to support that position. There are plenty
of medications beyond Tylenol and Zantac that are shown to be perfectly safe
during pregnancy in appropriate doses. Maybe you should consider other
caregivers who are somewhat less prohibitionist and reactionary.

I don't know about the safety of the migraine medications you were taking in
pregnancy, but I *do* know that narcotics have a very good safety record
during pregnancy (I suffer migraines myself, so I've needed to know) if you
*do* have a migraine that Tylenol alone won't touch. And, of course, there
are plenty of other medications that pregnant women absolutely *must* take.
I'm an asthmatic and if I didn't take my asthma medications, the
consequences of my not being able to breathe would be far worse than the
potential negative effects of the drugs!

By the way, many women find that their migraines improve during pregnancy
because they are caused in part by hormonal triggers. The suppression of
your menstrual cycle during pregnancy may mean you don't have any migraines
at all or very few even while off your medications.

And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...

Oh, I wish I could totally reassure you, but I can't. Everyone's experience
of pregnancy and of labor and birth is so different that I can't predict how
*your* pregnancy will be. My pregnancy were all good experiences overall,
though each presented its own challenges. I was never particularly
uncomfortable physically during pregnancy, aside from feeling slightly green
during the first trimester, nor did I experience pain as a result of it,
even in the late stages. Labor is definitely a profound physical experience
and I won't lie and tell you it's not painful, because it is. That said, two
of my three births were unmedicated and if I were to have another baby, I'd
have another unmedicated birth in a heartbeat, so it obviously wasn't *that*
bad.

I crave salt really bad

Be advised that low sodium and pregnancy nausea seem to be related. If
you're craving salty foods, eat them (though of course not to excess).

I am VERY moody, very much....and my skin is itchy everywhere!
My back itches, my legs itch, my face itches..my skin allover feels dry
and
itchy. I feel tearful...and a few more embarassing things....

Very normal. It's the hormones. It does tend to equalize as pregnancy
progresses and your body gets more accustomed to the different hormonal
balance, although plenty of women experience some of the symptoms to varying
degrees throughout pregnancy.

Good luck with it all and I hope this helps you feel a little better.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [18mo] mom)
See us at http://photos.yahoo.com/guavaln

This week's special at the English Language Butcher Shop:
"No parking passed this sign" -- hotel parking lot sign

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

Jill wrote:
Hi all...my name is Jill and I just turned 27. I have been married since
last October 6...my husband and I decided to stop trying to prevent a baby
just a few weeks ago. I figured it would take a while to get pregnant, but
boom, here I am. I have my first visit with the nurse tomorrow and my
doctor's appointment is at the end of next week when I should be far enough
along (the doctor's office wouldn't take me until I am at 8 weeks or later,
is this normal? I did have the pregnancy confirmed by my primary care
doc...)

Anyway I have developed a big case of cold feet. This is my first pregnancy
and I *am* happy but I am scared to death....will it be uncomfortable, will
it HURT, etc. For one thing I am suffering from nausea almost constantly and
also, I can't sleep. I am having great difficulty in even getting a few
solid hours of sleep. I have stayed up all night several nights already.
That itself, I think, is making my anxiety worse..when you can't sleep and
have hormonal changes...=anxiety.


And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...

Hi Jill,

Congratulations! I'm half way already in my pregnancy and I'm in a
perpetual state of "scared witless". I'm scared not of the whole
preg/labour thing though but of the rest of my life with kid/s.

How does one innately selfish person become so wrapped up and
responsible for this new life? I've chosen to put my head in the sand
a little and hope the hormones and nature kicks in to help me.

Anyway, I hope I havent added to your fears...When I get really unnerved
I try looking at things in 'baby steps' fashion and often find that helps.


cheers,
Aprill
#1 EDD 3rd Feb '04
boy!

"Jill" wrote in message
...

[]
And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...
[]

My first pregnancy was kind of scary and confusing too, but I've had seven
children now, so I must have gotten over it. Pregnancy has uncomfortable
and even painful moments but I experienced joy also. I found it very
emotionally, even spiritually, satisfying to know that I was carrying a new
life inside me, the product of my husband's and my love. And I usually get
some nice months in the middle where I'm not too big and no longer nauseous
and my sex drive is turned up to its highest setting. That is a lot of fun.

I suppose labour is painful, but that is not what I remember. I remember
the joy and excitement of holding my new baby for the first time. Good
luck.

Jayne

Jill wrote:


I just have a few questions..
1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)


It is quite common--it would probably be abnormal if
you didn't have some fears ;-) The insomnia will probably
get better (then worse, then better, then worse...) and
will probably also improve if you get the anxiety more under
control. Labor will hurt, but you will be able to cope with
it (and if you can't, there are options for dealing with *that*).
That said, while it's normal to be scared and worried, it is
also a very good idea to try to work through your fears so that
you're not in a constant state of anxiety. That's not great for
you or the baby. Knowledge is your friend here. The more you
know, the more confident you'll feel and the less you'll be
afraid. And since fear leads to tension which leads to pain,
the more you can get your fears under control the better you
will be able to cope with labor.


2. My doctors are not believers in a pregnant woman taking ANYthing other
than plain Tylenol or Zantac. At least in the first trimester....I was
taking Zanaflex and Klonopin to prevent migraines- it worked very well but
of course I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I checked
weekly.) So currently I am taking no medications except Zantac, and am doing
well, no headaches. I have researched it and get conflicting info...some
doctors allow Klonopin if the MTB is having major panic attacks etc..others
don't. I have read where some say they took Klonopin with no adverse effects
on the baby. I am NOT taking it, to be safe...but what are your thoughts on
medications during each trimester...do you doctors have different opinions?
I think mine err on the safe side and so I follow their advice, but being
unable to sleep and just toss and turn every night is mierable (I never used
Klonopin for sleep, it doesn't make me sleepy, but it was a good headache
preventive for me)...I am just wondering how to deal with anxiety/insonmia
in a medication free way?


Yes, doctors vary considerably in their approach to
drugs, and it's easy for them to be conservative because they
know there won't be any side effects if you're not taking
anything. Some women find that their migraines go away while
pregnant, and you might be among the lucky. If you are not,
and you're in pain, don't let your doctors' conservatism
leave you struggling. If they won't work with you to find
effective drugs for your migraines, change care providers.
There are drugs you can take--and probably some of them are
ones your doctors may not feel comfortable prescribing.
But it's your head and you shouldn't have to be in serious
pain.


And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...


Sorry, but pregnancy is often annoying and uncomfortable
and labor hurts too. But the outcome is worth it, and you can
learn to deal with whatever you need to deal with. Stubbing your
toe hurts a *lot* too, but we manage when it happens ;-)
Pregnancy is a process you go through, and when you confront
the fears and challenges involved and surmount them, you'll
feel like a million bucks and ready to take on the world--
and you'll need that confidence when faced with a new small
human to bring up in the world ;-)
Hang in there--you'll make it!

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Jill wrote:


I just have a few questions..
1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)


It is quite common--it would probably be abnormal if
you didn't have some fears ;-) The insomnia will probably
get better (then worse, then better, then worse...) and
will probably also improve if you get the anxiety more under
control. Labor will hurt, but you will be able to cope with
it (and if you can't, there are options for dealing with *that*).
That said, while it's normal to be scared and worried, it is
also a very good idea to try to work through your fears so that
you're not in a constant state of anxiety. That's not great for
you or the baby. Knowledge is your friend here. The more you
know, the more confident you'll feel and the less you'll be
afraid. And since fear leads to tension which leads to pain,
the more you can get your fears under control the better you
will be able to cope with labor.


2. My doctors are not believers in a pregnant woman taking ANYthing
other
than plain Tylenol or Zantac. At least in the first trimester....I was
taking Zanaflex and Klonopin to prevent migraines- it worked very well
but
of course I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I checked
weekly.) So currently I am taking no medications except Zantac, and am
doing
well, no headaches. I have researched it and get conflicting info...some
doctors allow Klonopin if the MTB is having major panic attacks
etc..others
don't. I have read where some say they took Klonopin with no adverse
effects
on the baby. I am NOT taking it, to be safe...but what are your thoughts
on
medications during each trimester...do you doctors have different
opinions?
I think mine err on the safe side and so I follow their advice, but
being
unable to sleep and just toss and turn every night is mierable (I never
used
Klonopin for sleep, it doesn't make me sleepy, but it was a good
headache
preventive for me)...I am just wondering how to deal with
anxiety/insonmia
in a medication free way?


Yes, doctors vary considerably in their approach to
drugs, and it's easy for them to be conservative because they
know there won't be any side effects if you're not taking
anything. Some women find that their migraines go away while
pregnant, and you might be among the lucky. If you are not,
and you're in pain, don't let your doctors' conservatism
leave you struggling. If they won't work with you to find
effective drugs for your migraines, change care providers.
There are drugs you can take--and probably some of them are
ones your doctors may not feel comfortable prescribing.
But it's your head and you shouldn't have to be in serious
pain.


And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me
that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...


Sorry, but pregnancy is often annoying and uncomfortable
and labor hurts too. But the outcome is worth it, and you can
learn to deal with whatever you need to deal with. Stubbing your
toe hurts a *lot* too, but we manage when it happens ;-)
Pregnancy is a process you go through, and when you confront
the fears and challenges involved and surmount them, you'll
feel like a million bucks and ready to take on the world--
and you'll need that confidence when faced with a new small
human to bring up in the world ;-)

Now I look back I would say that until I had been through pregnancy birth
and new motherhood I had no idea what I was capable of! I feel like I can do
anything now. I agree with Ericka, it is very hard at times and yes labour
hurts! But I also agree with her that it is all worth it.

Good Luck

Judy

(the doctor's office wouldn't take me until I am at 8 weeks or later,
is this normal?

Yes, very normal. Aggrivating when it's your first, but normal.

I just have a few questions..
1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)

It's normal to be scared to death... at first, I was sure I'd be like the rest
of the women in my family and miscarry my first baby early on. I was scared of
having a miscarriage, and scared of NOT having one! Kept asking what I had
gotten myself into.

2. My doctors are not believers in a pregnant woman taking ANYthing other
than plain Tylenol or Zantac. At least in the first trimester....but what are
your thoughts on
medications during each trimester...do you doctors have different opinions?
...can some of you share your
experiences with me, and what your own doctors have and have not allowed
during pregnancy? First and foremost I want to do everything possible for a
healthy baby...

Each doctor is different. Some are more accepting of vices and various meds.
I needed breathing treatments twice because of the flu, one doc was all for the
first one... the second time, a different doc refused to give me the same med!
My regular doc was pretty open to taking things, the idea being that a
comfortable mommy makes for a healthier baby.


And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...

First, let me say my mom had two kids, and she says both pregnancies were a joy
from start to finish; no problems, easy labor, she loved every minute. I'll be
the first to say I had discomfort during my pregnancy in the last 2 months (had
a 9lb 5oz baby in there), but the first 7 months were pretty symptom free and
easy for the most part. I had issues with my delivery that I won't bore you
with, but it actually was easier than I thought it would be. I bounced back
pretty quick, too. Now that baby is 3 months old, I've pretty much forgotten
all of the negative, and really want another!

As for doubting whether you really want this baby, I went through that too.
The last two months were when I was really moody. In one especially emotional
evening, I secretly hoped the baby would be stillborn so that I could get
divorced and move to the woods by myself, LOL. It's all natural. Plus, I had
been a stay-at-home wife with zero responsibilities, and I worried about how
I'd adjust to this "thing" needing me 24/7. It took a couple of weeks to
really get into the swing of things once he was here, but now I have a great
routine, and I feel like he's a blessing, never a burden. Now, I almost forget
what life was like before the baby, and I would never turn back time... not for
anything or any amount of money. The only thing I'd do different if I could is
clone him!