having 8 yr old present for birth of little sister?

Ericka Kammerer wrote:
I think it depends a lot on the environment.

To follow up on Ericka's comment, have you toured the hospital (I'm
assuming you're going with a hospital birth, based on the OB's
comment)? It might be best to check out the birthing facilities
themselves, not so much for kid-friendliness, but moreso for whether
the 'standard' births at the hospital would not be unnerving to your
daughter. (I'm only suggesting this as the final piece of the plan --
given that you know your daughter, you know yourself, it just seems
reasonable to check out the environment, too.) Some hospitals are great
w/r/t laboring women, and the women and their partners are likewise
great -- others are less private, and potentially seeing some of the
other patients might be unnerving to her, or not

(I am a veteran of the 'Take A Hike' school of childbirth, where I just
want everyone to leave me the..well, alone. Happily, for both
unmedicated labors the hospital staff and DH were more than willing to
do that. I'm not big on admitting *anyone* into the room when giving
birth, but that is entirely me.)

Caledonia

oregonchick writes:

: However.... My OB has indicated that she feels 8 yrs old is not old enough
: for most kids, and has suggested that I rethink this. I think my daughter
: is fairly mature for her age and she has expressed alot of interest in
: participating. Should I follow my instinct here, or am I overly confident
: in my daughter?

My daughter Clara was present for her brother Niel's birth. She was 22 months
old for God's sake! I think you should get a new OB. I don't think any older
sibling should miss the birth of a younger one unless the mother is not
comfortable with it.

I would say more about sibling bonding, etc, etc, but you get the idea.

Larry

Follow your instinct, I'm sure you will make the right decison for you
and your daughter. It doesn't really matter what the OB thinks -- she
will probably only be there herself for a fraction of your labour.

Besides, it's not like they lock you in the room! Labour can be long,
and if your daughter wants to be there for certain parts and not others
for whatever reason (bordom might be one of them!) there's nothing
stopping her. I'll bet it would be a wonderful memory & experience for
her to be present at the birth of her sibling.

Elle


oregonchick wrote:
I want my 8 yr old daughter present for the birth of her little sister. I
think this will be a very special time for me, her, and my husband. My
husband is my 8 yr old's step dad, and there have been some feelings of
anxiety from her feeling left out or worried that she wouldn't be important
anymore. I want her to be a part of this special moment, and have her
wholly participating to the point that she is comfortable. If she becomes
uncomfortable, I will have a contingency plan for her to have someone in the
waiting room with her.

However.... My OB has indicated that she feels 8 yrs old is not old enough
for most kids, and has suggested that I rethink this. I think my daughter
is fairly mature for her age and she has expressed alot of interest in
participating. Should I follow my instinct here, or am I overly confident
in my daughter?

Betsy

I was 12 at my sister's birth. She was 8 at my daughter's birth. My
daughter was 11 at her sister's birth... it scarred none of us.

DD slept on the couch in the dining room and we woke her up when the
birth was close...she slept through my howling and bellowing and came
over in time to see "the head pop right out!!!"

Wouldn't have had it any other way. I sort of thougth she'd be cool
with some of the labor support thing, but she kept staring at me and
asking if the baby was coming so I sent her to lie down.
Jenrose

wrote in message
oups.com...
I was 12 at my sister's birth. She was 8 at my daughter's birth. My
daughter was 11 at her sister's birth... it scarred none of us.


Well, as someone who is not good at math and word problems, I'm going to be
scarred for life because of the above sentence...
--

Jamie -- still rereading it and scratching my head...
Earth Angels:
Taylor Marlys, 1/3/03 -- My Big Girl, who started preschool, and loved it!
Addison Grace, 9/30/04 -- My Little Walker, who wants nothing more than to
go explore the world!

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