Pregnant with 1st, and scared!

Jill wrote:


I just have a few questions..
1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)


It is quite common--it would probably be abnormal if
you didn't have some fears ;-) The insomnia will probably
get better (then worse, then better, then worse...) and
will probably also improve if you get the anxiety more under
control. Labor will hurt, but you will be able to cope with
it (and if you can't, there are options for dealing with *that*).
That said, while it's normal to be scared and worried, it is
also a very good idea to try to work through your fears so that
you're not in a constant state of anxiety. That's not great for
you or the baby. Knowledge is your friend here. The more you
know, the more confident you'll feel and the less you'll be
afraid. And since fear leads to tension which leads to pain,
the more you can get your fears under control the better you
will be able to cope with labor.


2. My doctors are not believers in a pregnant woman taking ANYthing other
than plain Tylenol or Zantac. At least in the first trimester....I was
taking Zanaflex and Klonopin to prevent migraines- it worked very well but
of course I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I checked
weekly.) So currently I am taking no medications except Zantac, and am doing
well, no headaches. I have researched it and get conflicting info...some
doctors allow Klonopin if the MTB is having major panic attacks etc..others
don't. I have read where some say they took Klonopin with no adverse effects
on the baby. I am NOT taking it, to be safe...but what are your thoughts on
medications during each trimester...do you doctors have different opinions?
I think mine err on the safe side and so I follow their advice, but being
unable to sleep and just toss and turn every night is mierable (I never used
Klonopin for sleep, it doesn't make me sleepy, but it was a good headache
preventive for me)...I am just wondering how to deal with anxiety/insonmia
in a medication free way?


Yes, doctors vary considerably in their approach to
drugs, and it's easy for them to be conservative because they
know there won't be any side effects if you're not taking
anything. Some women find that their migraines go away while
pregnant, and you might be among the lucky. If you are not,
and you're in pain, don't let your doctors' conservatism
leave you struggling. If they won't work with you to find
effective drugs for your migraines, change care providers.
There are drugs you can take--and probably some of them are
ones your doctors may not feel comfortable prescribing.
But it's your head and you shouldn't have to be in serious
pain.


And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...


Sorry, but pregnancy is often annoying and uncomfortable
and labor hurts too. But the outcome is worth it, and you can
learn to deal with whatever you need to deal with. Stubbing your
toe hurts a *lot* too, but we manage when it happens ;-)
Pregnancy is a process you go through, and when you confront
the fears and challenges involved and surmount them, you'll
feel like a million bucks and ready to take on the world--
and you'll need that confidence when faced with a new small
human to bring up in the world ;-)
Hang in there--you'll make it!

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Jill wrote:


I just have a few questions..
1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)


It is quite common--it would probably be abnormal if
you didn't have some fears ;-) The insomnia will probably
get better (then worse, then better, then worse...) and
will probably also improve if you get the anxiety more under
control. Labor will hurt, but you will be able to cope with
it (and if you can't, there are options for dealing with *that*).
That said, while it's normal to be scared and worried, it is
also a very good idea to try to work through your fears so that
you're not in a constant state of anxiety. That's not great for
you or the baby. Knowledge is your friend here. The more you
know, the more confident you'll feel and the less you'll be
afraid. And since fear leads to tension which leads to pain,
the more you can get your fears under control the better you
will be able to cope with labor.


2. My doctors are not believers in a pregnant woman taking ANYthing
other
than plain Tylenol or Zantac. At least in the first trimester....I was
taking Zanaflex and Klonopin to prevent migraines- it worked very well
but
of course I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I checked
weekly.) So currently I am taking no medications except Zantac, and am
doing
well, no headaches. I have researched it and get conflicting info...some
doctors allow Klonopin if the MTB is having major panic attacks
etc..others
don't. I have read where some say they took Klonopin with no adverse
effects
on the baby. I am NOT taking it, to be safe...but what are your thoughts
on
medications during each trimester...do you doctors have different
opinions?
I think mine err on the safe side and so I follow their advice, but
being
unable to sleep and just toss and turn every night is mierable (I never
used
Klonopin for sleep, it doesn't make me sleepy, but it was a good
headache
preventive for me)...I am just wondering how to deal with
anxiety/insonmia
in a medication free way?


Yes, doctors vary considerably in their approach to
drugs, and it's easy for them to be conservative because they
know there won't be any side effects if you're not taking
anything. Some women find that their migraines go away while
pregnant, and you might be among the lucky. If you are not,
and you're in pain, don't let your doctors' conservatism
leave you struggling. If they won't work with you to find
effective drugs for your migraines, change care providers.
There are drugs you can take--and probably some of them are
ones your doctors may not feel comfortable prescribing.
But it's your head and you shouldn't have to be in serious
pain.


And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me
that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...


Sorry, but pregnancy is often annoying and uncomfortable
and labor hurts too. But the outcome is worth it, and you can
learn to deal with whatever you need to deal with. Stubbing your
toe hurts a *lot* too, but we manage when it happens ;-)
Pregnancy is a process you go through, and when you confront
the fears and challenges involved and surmount them, you'll
feel like a million bucks and ready to take on the world--
and you'll need that confidence when faced with a new small
human to bring up in the world ;-)

Now I look back I would say that until I had been through pregnancy birth
and new motherhood I had no idea what I was capable of! I feel like I can do
anything now. I agree with Ericka, it is very hard at times and yes labour
hurts! But I also agree with her that it is all worth it.

Good Luck

Judy

Jill says:

And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me
that pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that
labor will be ok???

First of all: congratulations!

I was phobic about childbirth before I became pregnant. My first
pregnancy was indeed planned, and we hit it on the first try, but that
didn't keep me from feeling absolute dread during a good portion of it. I
spent that 9 months becoming as educated as I could, coming to terms with
labor as well as I could. A nice thing that happened to me during that 9
months was that despite the fear, I couldn't help but be in awe of the
amazing feat my body was accomplishing. It truly is humbling, this
incredible power we women possess.

No other pregnancy will be like your first. I hope once the morning
sickness passes, you can start to feel that sense of amazement at what's
going on inside of you. It really is special. :-)

Best of luck!

-- Alpha
alphawave at earthlink dot net

1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)

It's TOTALLY normal to be scared. This baby is my first, and I am scared to
death. Scared of labor and delivery, scared of raising a child, but you just
have to have confidence in yourself!

but what are your thoughts on
medications during each trimester...do you doctors have different opinions?

I was told tylenol (acetomeniphen) ONLY for pain, and I was really nauseated
for the first 2 months, so I had a prescription for phenergan.

I am just wondering how to deal with anxiety/insonmia
in a medication free way?

Well, I like to read, or do some sort of crafty thing, like crochet. Take a
bath or go swimming. That always calms me.

can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok?

Well, no one can tell you all of these things for sure. Except that pregnancy
is a joy. You'll feel miserable, but once you see your baby, or hear it's
heartbeat, it makes it a little better.

As for uncomfortable...it's going to happen. I am only 16 weeks, and I am so
uncomfortable, but whenever I feel those little flutters inside me, I remember
WHY I'm uncomfortable. There is a little life inside me. It makes me happy.

Labor is an experience that no one can prepare you for...just try to stay
optomistic, and prepare yourself as much as possible.
*catherine
edd 2/29/04

pictures-http://www.geocities.com/vanillaxbliss/index.html
journal-http://cat_claws.livejournal.com

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I just have a few questions..
1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)

I know I am! The best thing I am doing is asking allot of questions,
reading a few books, watching television shows on pregnancy.

I also rented and watched Pregnancy for Dummies Part 1 and will be watching
Part 2 soon.

Education seems to have alleviated much of my fear. Though honestly, I'm
still worried.

2. My doctors are not believers in a pregnant woman taking ANYthing other
than plain Tylenol or Zantac. snip but what are your thoughts on
medications during each trimester...do you doctors have different
opinions?

My doctor asked me to stop taking the water pills and valium I was taking.
I did take them up to my 5th or 6th week of pregnancy.

I think mine err on the safe side and so I follow their advice, but being
unable to sleep and just toss and turn every night is mierable (I never
used
Klonopin for sleep, it doesn't make me sleepy, but it was a good headache
preventive for me)...I am just wondering how to deal with anxiety/insonmia
in a medication free way?

I applaud your physicians for erring on the safe side and you for following
their advice. I would ask your ob/gyn about what you can do to deal with
the anxiety/insomnia.

And thanking god I haven't had a migraine. I
normally use Imitrex and was told I can have none of that while pregnant.
Narcotics generally don't help my migraines. But my ob/gyn told me that
after the first trimester it would be possible for me to take a monitored
number of Darvocet or something, one of the prescription pain relievers
with
a Tylenol base and a little bit of narcotic...can some of you share your
experiences with me, and what your own doctors have and have not allowed
during pregnancy? First and foremost I want to do everything possible for
a
healthy baby...

Glad you haven't had a migrane. I stopped ALL medications. I have suffered
body aches and headaches AND insomnia, but I just can't take any
medications. It would cause me more worry. I take my prenatal vitamin and
folic acid daily.

And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...

Wow. This is my first pregnancy. I'm 39. I haven't gotten to the "joyful"
part, but at the same time, I haven't thought about the "pain of labor"
short of asking my doctor to make it as painless as possible.

I can already, at 4 -5 weeks or so, tell that my body is changing....weird
things. I have hot flashes- I have always been hot natured, but am now
VERY
hot natured...I crave salt really bad (yes I am taking a prenatal
vitamin!)...I am VERY moody, very much....and my skin is itchy everywhere!
My back itches, my legs itch, my face itches..my skin allover feels dry
and
itchy. I feel tearful...and a few more embarassing things....

Good grief. I hope that once your fears are alleviated many of your
negative symptoms dissepate.

Do keep us posted on your progress. Hang in there. Ask questions. Read.
If you believe, pray. Talk with other mothers.

You will be fine. Try to enjoy the ride!

~Carol Ann

"Jill" wrote in message
Hi all...my name is Jill and I just turned 27. I have been married since
last October 6...my husband and I decided to stop trying to prevent a baby
just a few weeks ago. I figured it would take a while to get pregnant, but
boom, here I am. I have my first visit with the nurse tomorrow and my
doctor's appointment is at the end of next week when I should be far
enough
along (the doctor's office wouldn't take me until I am at 8 weeks or
later,
is this normal? I did have the pregnancy confirmed by my primary care
doc...)

Seeing a doctor for the first time between 8-12 weeks is very normal. With
my pregnancy, I saw a doctor at 4 weeks because I was having some spotting.
I saw her again at 7 weeks for an ultrasound. If I hadn't had the spotting
and she hadn't recommended the early ultrasound, I woudn't have had a first
visit until 8 weeks with that practice. I saw my doctor at the birth center
for the first time at 14 weeks. They would normally have scheduled me for
the for the first appt. at 12 weeks, but since I had been seeing the other
doctor, we waited until 14 weeks.

Anyway I have developed a big case of cold feet. This is my first
pregnancy
and I *am* happy but I am scared to death....will it be uncomfortable,
will
it HURT, etc. For one thing I am suffering from nausea almost constantly
and
also, I can't sleep. I am having great difficulty in even getting a few
solid hours of sleep. I have stayed up all night several nights already.
That itself, I think, is making my anxiety worse..when you can't sleep and
have hormonal changes...=anxiety.

I had very bad anxiety early in my pregnancy--it was all over fear of losing
the baby though. I was pertrified that my body couldn't really *do* this and
that it would fail me and fail to take good care of the baby (now, I realize
that my body is a pretty fabulous and competent thing :-) I didn't have any
nausea or any trouble with insomnia, so that made my pregnancy easy to
adjust to--it wasn't uncomfortable for me. Even now, six days from my due
date, I wouldn't describe myself as uncomfortable. I realize that I have had
a very easy pregnancy and have been lucky to have very few of the common
pregnancy "complaints." I do think that part of feeling comfortable and not
"inconvenienced" by pregnancy, is a bit in how you approach things
though--if you expect to feel uncomfortable, huge, and miserable, you most
likely will feel that way! Aside from the anxiety about things going wrong,
I have approached the physical parts of my pregnancy as being "neat changes"
:-)

I suffer from migraine headaches and the good news is I have not had a
single one.

I didn't get migraines per se, but I did have frequent (almost daily)
headaches pre-pregnancy, as well as a once or twice monthly *very severe*
headaches. I have had very few of either kind, since becoming pregnant--I
wish the same for you!

I just have a few questions..
1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)

Yep. Normal! :-)

And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...

I can already, at 4 -5 weeks or so, tell that my body is changing....weird
things. I have hot flashes- I have always been hot natured, but am now
VERY
hot natured...I crave salt really bad (yes I am taking a prenatal
vitamin!)...I am VERY moody, very much....and my skin is itchy everywhere!
My back itches, my legs itch, my face itches..my skin allover feels dry
and
itchy. I feel tearful...and a few more embarassing things....

Like I touched on above, I think a certain amount of pregnancy discomfort is
based on how you approach things (I'm *not* discounting that there are
uncomfortable parts of pregnancy or that people that complain more than me,
are just complaining about things that are all in their heads or something).
I have been fairly lucky in that I *don't* have many of the common pregnancy
complaints--nausea, heartburn, insomnia, etc. The things that I do have that
are slightly bothersome, like lower backache and frequent Braxton-Hicks
contractions, I choose to let kind of roll off. I don't dwell on them or let
them bother me much at all. I *do* honestly feel that pregnancy is a joy and
would not describe it as uncomfortable or painful at all. (I don't know
about labor yet ;-) I feel energetic and alive and happy and in love with my
baby. I do not feel uncomfortable or lumbering or unattractive or like I
wish it would all be over (though I am getting eager to finally have the
baby in arms!). My body is a pretty cool thing--it knows how to create,
nourish, and sustain a new life. It takes good care of me and it takes good
care of my baby :-)

I'm getting a tiny bit of cold feet about my ability to be a *mother* 24/7
now! Didn't have those feelings early on when all I wanted was for the baby
to stay alive, but now that I'm on the very last bit of my pregnancy I have
had occasional feelings of, "it would be okay for the baby to just stay
inside forever, I'm not quite ready for the constantness of an outside-baby
yet."

Best wishes and good luck--it is very normal to feel fearful and nervous
about something so new and something that is such a huge change!

--
Em
edd 9/23/03
(39w1d)

"Jill" wrote in message m...

1. With your first baby is it normal to be scared/worried? (Again, I am
terrified I will go on with insomnia, labor will hurt, etc)

Yup, it's normal to be worried. Just remind yourself that pregnancy
is a normal part of life, and that we are designed to do this.

2. My doctors are not believers in a pregnant woman taking ANYthing other
than plain Tylenol or Zantac.

Well, they are right, it's best to take nothing. But, there comes a
point, that you have to ask yourself, which is worse, prenatal
exposure to a drug, or a hurting exhasted mother. Weigh that question
carefully, and try to take as little as possible, but if it becomes
necessary to take something, don't beat yourself up. I took only
tylenol occasionally, and then when I had such a horrible cold at 8
months pregnant, I finally broke down and took a cough medicine with
codeine so that I could sleep without coughing

And one more thing, I am scared to death...can someone please tell me that
pregnancy is a joy, is not that uncomfortable or painful, and that labor
will be ok??? I will be posting and reading here often I am sure...

Pregnancy is often a joy, but it's uncomfortable at times too! And
Labor will be fine, but it *does* hurt. However, your body is
designed to handle labor just fine, so despite it's pain, you'll be
just fine.

The answer: Read, read, read! I recommend the following books:
1. The Pregnancy Book, and The Birth Book by William and Martha Sears
2. The Thinking woman's guide to a better birth
3. Anything by Shiela Kitzinger
4. Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon.

I recomend you avoid the What to Expect When You are Expecting book. I
hated it, and found it to be really dire, and the diet impossible.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01

Even now, six days from my due date I

Wow Em! You are soooo close now!
How the time flies :-)

--
~~~Cheers!~~~
Jenn-WAHM-DS11-DD6-TTC#3

"Fer" wrote in message
Even now, six days from my due date I

Wow Em! You are soooo close now!
How the time flies :-)

Time does fly!! I cannot believe I am at this point already! I do sort of
have an "eternally pregnant" feeling, but I also remember the early days of
my pregnancy like it was yesterday and it seems unbelievable that here I am
thisclose to my baby!

--
Em
edd 9/23/03
(39w1d)

"Em" wrote in message news:zg1ab.490718$uu5.84269@sccrnsc04...
"Fer" wrote in message
Even now, six days from my due date I

Wow Em! You are soooo close now!
How the time flies :-)

Time does fly!! I cannot believe I am at this point already! I do sort of
have an "eternally pregnant" feeling, but I also remember the early days of
my pregnancy like it was yesterday and it seems unbelievable that here I am
thisclose to my baby!

Funny how we perceive time isn't it? I remember a few days before
having my son looking at my profile in the mirror and being in awe
that I had a full fledged baby inside ready to come out

Jenn
TTC#3