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No Wrap Shower



 
 
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  #31  
Old June 25th 07, 12:30 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
HELP!!
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Default No Wrap Shower

On Jun 22, 10:44 pm, cjra wrote:
On Jun 19, 7:48 am, HELP!! wrote:

Thanks for the reply Ericka. I know it sounds funny, but this
monstrosity is intimate. We are both from large families and have 20
aunts & uncles and 60+ first cousins. Include a very trimmed down
list of close friends and you get a 100+ guest shower, all of which
expect to be invited.


I hear you loud and clear. We live far away from our families so
didn't have to deal with this, but my family is large, and showers (or
parties of any sort) quickly get out of hand. People who are not from
big families often just don't *get* it (I have 60 first cousins on my
dad's side alone, and as many of them are already grandparents,
multiple layers of other cousins as well).

But no, there is no way to ask for anything in particular about the
gifts. Just open them thoughtfully, but quickly. You won't have 100
gifts, and likely family groups will offer one joint gift, which
should make it shorter. Also, half the party will be uninterested and
doing something else anyway, at least that has been my experience at
large showers (which in my family, are always co-ed).

Just relax and have fun, and be excited that your little one has so
many people excited to meet him/her.


thanks cjra. some people just don't understand large families. its
rare when the whole family gets together, i was trying to avoid
wasting precious "catch up" time on a 2 hour gift opening session.

but you're right. i think we'll just open the gifts in a quick,
organized, and thoughtful way.

  #32  
Old June 26th 07, 11:45 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Anne Rogers[_4_]
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Posts: 670
Default No Wrap Shower


I hear you loud and clear. We live far away from our families so
didn't have to deal with this, but my family is large, and showers (or
parties of any sort) quickly get out of hand. People who are not from
big families often just don't *get* it (I have 60 first cousins on my
dad's side alone, and as many of them are already grandparents,
multiple layers of other cousins as well).


wow, that is pretty impressive, if I'm understanding who exactly you
mean by first cousins on your fathers side - i.e. your father's
siblings' children, then that's of the order of your father having 8
siblings and each of them having 8 children, I don't find someone having
8 siblings at all surprising, just the fact that then all of them also
had such big families, or if any of them had smaller families, the
others having even bigger ones to make up, which does seem a lot more
unusual. My dad's mum was the youngest of 7, so only 6 siblings, but I
think he has only around 15 first cousins, 2 of the siblings didn't get
married, the others had more middle sized families.

I'm at the opposite extreme, it's not the smallest family in the world,
but before I married, my entire family including me, extending as far as
first cousins was 12 people. My parents and the two of us, my mum's
sister, husband and 2 children, my dad's sister and 3 our of 4
grandparents still living.

In some ways I'm envious of larger families, if it's bigger there seems
to be more chance of being close, or living near family members, but
I've noticed it doesn't always work out like that - as my family is
small, it's not an onerous task to keep in touch with everyone and to
send cards and gifts, net result is that we are close, whereas in a big
family you couldn't do that so easily and end up not close to anyone -
DH's family is more medium sized compared to mine, yet at his birthday,
he get's more cards from my family than his. It can be a cause of
tension, because he's not close to his family, I've spent barely any
time with them, so I've never had the chance to get comfortable with
them, so he then feels I don't want to see them, rather than seeing that
I'm just uncomfortable and find it more stressful than he does to see my
family members.

Cheers
Anne
  #33  
Old June 27th 07, 03:28 AM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
cjra
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Posts: 1,015
Default No Wrap Shower

On Jun 26, 5:45 pm, Anne Rogers wrote:
I hear you loud and clear. We live far away from our families so
didn't have to deal with this, but my family is large, and showers (or
parties of any sort) quickly get out of hand. People who are not from
big families often just don't *get* it (I have 60 first cousins on my
dad's side alone, and as many of them are already grandparents,
multiple layers of other cousins as well).


wow, that is pretty impressive, if I'm understanding who exactly you
mean by first cousins on your fathers side - i.e. your father's
siblings' children, then that's of the order of your father having 8
siblings and each of them having 8 children, I don't find someone having
8 siblings at all surprising, just the fact that then all of them also
had such big families, or if any of them had smaller families, the
others having even bigger ones to make up, which does seem a lot more
unusual. My dad's mum was the youngest of 7, so only 6 siblings, but I
think he has only around 15 first cousins, 2 of the siblings didn't get
married, the others had more middle sized families.


My dad is one of 11 siblings who survived to adulthood and had
children (14 in all, 3 died before 1 yo). One brother had 2 kids, the
rest had between 6-10 children each. I am one of 8. My grandfather was
also one of 10+ (can't remember exactly). Catholic farmers.... I have
lost count of the next generation. My parents already have 25
grandkids.

My mother is only one of 3, and I have 5 first cousins total on her
side. However both her parents were from large families and most are
very close as well as friends who have been part of the family so long
they're relatives, so though there are fewer close blood relatives,
there's a very large extended family and non-cousins who might as well
be.

My siblings and I are scattered, but my dad is the only one of his
siblings ot move away, and most of my cousins stayed close to home, so
there are about 50 cousins who live within 60 miles or so, almost all
of whom have kids and spouses (age range is 35-60).


I'm at the opposite extreme, it's not the smallest family in the world,
but before I married, my entire family including me, extending as far as
first cousins was 12 people. My parents and the two of us, my mum's
sister, husband and 2 children, my dad's sister and 3 our of 4
grandparents still living.

In some ways I'm envious of larger families, if it's bigger there seems
to be more chance of being close, or living near family members, but
I've noticed it doesn't always work out like that - as my family is
small, it's not an onerous task to keep in touch with everyone and to
send cards and gifts, net result is that we are close, whereas in a big
family you couldn't do that so easily and end up not close to anyone -


Though I have 6 living siblings (one died aged 30, w/o kids), the
closest family is 1500+ miles away (CA, I'm in TX, others are in OH,
GA, and Guam). As for my cousins, because we didn't grow up near
them, and I'm on the younger end, I'm close to some, not others. Makes
it hard for parties though. My sisters got married in OH - where my
dad's family is - and had a helluva time keeping the guest list to
manageable size. I got married in TX, where we have no family, but
offered an invite to all relatives if they wanted to come, well, many
did, some I wasn't close to but it was a really nice thing and made me
closer to them now.

My siblings drive me crazy, and am I'm not close to all of them, but I
honestly can say I wouldn't trade them for the world. I am glad
they're there. It has been especially significant in times of crises,
like when my brother died and the few times we've come close to losing
my dad.

Sheer numbers are no guarantee though.

  #34  
Old June 27th 07, 05:31 AM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Anne Rogers[_4_]
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Posts: 670
Default No Wrap Shower


My dad is one of 11 siblings who survived to adulthood and had
children (14 in all, 3 died before 1 yo). One brother had 2 kids, the
rest had between 6-10 children each. I am one of 8. My grandfather was
also one of 10+ (can't remember exactly). Catholic farmers.... I have
lost count of the next generation. My parents already have 25
grandkids.


ah, the catholic explains it, none of my family as far as I know have
been catholic, most recorded their religion as Baptist or Methodist on
the documents I've seen, I suspect shorter families became the trend
sooner amongst non catholics. 3 out of my 4 grandparents (born 20s and
30s) are from longer families, though not as impressive as yours, and I
believe the one that was one of 2, the parents were trying to have more
with various outcomes, they then had there own children in the 50s and
the family lengths suddenly dropped to 2 and other branches had
similarly "short" families. As my aunt's husband sadly died after 14mths
of marriage, my paternal grandparents have 2 grandchildren and maternal
grandparents have 4. My 2 children are the only ones in their generation
in all directions, so they have 5 great grandparents and all 4
grandparents that they are very precious to.

My siblings and I are scattered, but my dad is the only one of his
siblings ot move away, and most of my cousins stayed close to home, so
there are about 50 cousins who live within 60 miles or so, almost all
of whom have kids and spouses (age range is 35-60).


We're all over the place these days, which is rather strange as we were
actually bizarrely homogenous before - with no birth that we can find of
any ancestor either direction being outside of England, not even Wales
or Scotland, I've mucked that up for my kids as DH is Scottish, but of
course, we now live in the US, my grandparents live in Cyprus, my sister
is moving to the Channel Islands shortly, my parents are in the
process of buying a property in Austria, so my relatives are moving
further away not closer!

Even when we lived in England we all lived different places, I joined
facebook recently and have found several of my school friends, I'm
surprised quite how many still live in the same town we went to school
in - being close to family must seem quite normal and natural if people
gravitate homewards like that (many went away for university or a bit
longer).

Cheers
Anne
  #35  
Old June 27th 07, 01:30 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
ncrist
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Posts: 53
Default No Wrap Shower

On Jun 27, 6:31 am, Anne Rogers wrote:
My dad is one of 11 siblings who survived to adulthood and had
children (14 in all, 3 died before 1 yo). One brother had 2 kids, the
rest had between 6-10 children each. I am one of 8. My grandfather was
also one of 10+ (can't remember exactly). Catholic farmers.... I have
lost count of the next generation. My parents already have 25
grandkids.


ah, the catholic explains it, none of my family as far as I know have
been catholic, most recorded their religion as Baptist or Methodist on
the documents I've seen, I suspect shorter families became the trend
sooner amongst non catholics. 3 out of my 4 grandparents (born 20s and
30s) are from longer families, though not as impressive as yours, and I
believe the one that was one of 2, the parents were trying to have more
with various outcomes, they then had there own children in the 50s and
the family lengths suddenly dropped to 2 and other branches had
similarly "short" families. As my aunt's husband sadly died after 14mths
of marriage, my paternal grandparents have 2 grandchildren and maternal
grandparents have 4. My 2 children are the only ones in their generation
in all directions, so they have 5 great grandparents and all 4
grandparents that they are very precious to.

My siblings and I are scattered, but my dad is the only one of his
siblings ot move away, and most of my cousins stayed close to home, so
there are about 50 cousins who live within 60 miles or so, almost all
of whom have kids and spouses (age range is 35-60).


We're all over the place these days, which is rather strange as we were
actually bizarrely homogenous before - with no birth that we can find of
any ancestor either direction being outside of England, not even Wales
or Scotland, I've mucked that up for my kids as DH is Scottish, but of
course, we now live in the US, my grandparents live in Cyprus, my sister
is moving to the Channel Islands shortly, my parents are in the
process of buying a property in Austria, so my relatives are moving
further away not closer!

Even when we lived in England we all lived different places, I joined
facebook recently and have found several of my school friends, I'm
surprised quite how many still live in the same town we went to school
in - being close to family must seem quite normal and natural if people
gravitate homewards like that (many went away for university or a bit
longer).

Cheers
Anne


I don't really understand the Catholic thing. I was born Catholic, but
I only have one sister. Although this could stem from the fact that my
Dad wasn't Catholic (Baptist, maybe?). But my mom's brother's wife had
four children (I thought that was a lot growing up), while her sister
had three. My Dad's sister, on the other hand, only had one, so I
guess we were the bigger family in comparison.

  #36  
Old June 27th 07, 06:00 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
[email protected]
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Posts: 4
Default No Wrap Shower

On Jun 19, 8:04 am, HELP!! wrote:
We are expecting 100+ guests at our baby shower. Is their a
polite, acceptable way to ask that gifts not be wrapped? We we
thinking a gift table to display the gifts, so people can view as they
please throughout the shower. We would also spend a half hour or so
to officially recognize the gifts.

We just want to avoid a 2 hour gift opening session. It won't be fun
for the guests or us!!


With 100 people at the shower, I dont think anyone would expect you to
open your gifts. For that matter Im sure people are just coming to say
hello and eat. Like a wedding...

  #37  
Old June 27th 07, 07:48 PM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
Boliath
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Posts: 101
Default No Wrap Shower

ncrist wrote:

I don't really understand the Catholic thing. I was born Catholic, but
I only have one sister.


Catholics weren't (aren't?) allowed to use contraception. Fill the earth
and conquer it is the instruction I believe.

In Ireland (where I'm from) it was illegal until about 15 years ago
resulting in large families and/or lapsed Catholics.

I'm one of 9 children, my partner is the youngest of 12, his family have
stuck to 3 or 4 children each, my family are 1s and 2s with a 3 and a 4
thrown in. My 2 yr old son has 31 1st cousins with 3 more due this year.
It would be great if except for 2 they're all across the pond from us.

None of our siblings are Catholic enough not to plan our families and
use contraception. Very few christened their children.

  #38  
Old June 28th 07, 08:39 AM posted to misc.kids.pregnancy
ncrist
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Posts: 53
Default No Wrap Shower

On Jun 27, 8:48 pm, Boliath wrote:
ncrist wrote:
I don't really understand the Catholic thing. I was born Catholic, but
I only have one sister.


Catholics weren't (aren't?) allowed to use contraception. Fill the earth
and conquer it is the instruction I believe.

In Ireland (where I'm from) it was illegal until about 15 years ago
resulting in large families and/or lapsed Catholics.

I'm one of 9 children, my partner is the youngest of 12, his family have
stuck to 3 or 4 children each, my family are 1s and 2s with a 3 and a 4
thrown in. My 2 yr old son has 31 1st cousins with 3 more due this year.
It would be great if except for 2 they're all across the pond from us.

None of our siblings are Catholic enough not to plan our families and
use contraception. Very few christened their children.


Yeah, I guess you'd have to be more fundamental to believe it's worth
screwing your body up over. (I've heard too much about the first wives
dying) I happened to be in Ohio and my Mom and I attended the wedding
of one of my cousins. We both had problems with the "do you promise to
obey your husband" part. We had to muffle our laughter. I don't
remember if anyone looked at us, though. But they only have two
children, so maybe they aren''t so staunch.

 




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