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  #1  
Old December 20th 06, 06:03 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding,misc.kids.pregnancy
Anne Rogers
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Posts: 1,497
Default sad (for me) post

I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest
whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that
place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm
convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6
months (she's 18 months).

I've looked back over our nursing relationship to try and figure out the
reasons for this unusual timing in self weaning, I think in the main it is
her personality, she almost never comfort nursed, she almost never nursed to
sleep, even as a tiny newborn, she would nurse til she was full, stop, than
lay awake for half an hour before sleeping. She also sorted out her own
sucking comfort, she's not a thumb sucker, but she does this trick with two
fingers that's equivalent, I hope we don't have trouble getting her to drop
that.

Then there are circumstances, stuff that happened during our nursing
relationship, the big thing would be at 11 mths, when I had a bad accident,
for the next 3 months, I couldn't carry her, she was always brought to me to
feed and was cared for by other people, kind people delayed the nursing
sessions and cut them down to the bare essentials, this can't have helped in
the long term.

So now I find myself looking ahead, was a nursing session that I can't even
remember, around Thanksgiving, my last ever? I hope not, but DH is saying he
doesn't want more kids, the last 19mths have been very hard on us all, we
are very lucky, having a boy and a girl. For me, I want to leave things
open, I don't know whether it's my hormones or what, but getting my body
ready for pregnancy is a big motivation for me when I'm doing physio
exercises or a session in the therapy pool. Also, having moved to the US
from the UK, I'm not able to work, by the time I am able to work (6 years),
it could well be very difficult to get a job that I would like and with the
nature of DH's job, it's unlikely that I'd have to work and take a job that
I was less content with and lower paid, but at 27, looking ahead to a life
of motherhood to two children seems a little empty. Thankfully we'd always
agreed to wait, I do not want to be pregnant right now, so we've got time to
get on with life and see what happens.

I'll still be hanging around on mkb and mkp, though both seem quite quiet at
the moment, I'm also hoping to become a breastfeeding supporter, probably
through la leche league.

Cheers
Anne


  #2  
Old December 20th 06, 06:15 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding,misc.kids.pregnancy
Welches
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Posts: 849
Default sad (for me) post


"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest
whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in
that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm
convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6
months (she's 18 months).

(((hugs)))
Your dh may change his mind. You've got plenty of time. I know one dad who
took nearly 7 years and now he's besotted!
It is sad stopping feeding isn't it? I'm always surprised when people say
"isn't it wonderful I've stopped feeding". It's one of the things I'm most
looking forward to with #3 (along with not feeling sick any more)
Debbie


  #3  
Old December 20th 06, 07:28 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding,misc.kids.pregnancy
Ericka Kammerer
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Posts: 2,293
Default sad (for me) post

Anne Rogers wrote:
I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest
whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that
place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm
convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6
months (she's 18 months).

I've looked back over our nursing relationship to try and figure out the
reasons for this unusual timing in self weaning,


Actually, I don't think it's all that unusual a time
for self-weaning. All mine chose to wean around then. I think
it's rather a natural time for kids who are happily eating a wide
variety of solids and getting active. I'm sure lots of kids will
also choose to wean later, but I really don't think this is all
that unusual. And I didn't have any particular challenges either.
It's just the way things worked out. I always find it a bit
sad when they wean, but it is what it is.

Best wishes,
Ericka
  #4  
Old December 20th 06, 08:19 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding,misc.kids.pregnancy
Anne Rogers
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Posts: 1,497
Default sad (for me) post

Actually, I don't think it's all that unusual a time
for self-weaning. All mine chose to wean around then. I think
it's rather a natural time for kids who are happily eating a wide
variety of solids and getting active. I'm sure lots of kids will
also choose to wean later, but I really don't think this is all
that unusual. And I didn't have any particular challenges either.
It's just the way things worked out. I always find it a bit
sad when they wean, but it is what it is.


kellymom and other similar resources seem to think it is unusual, or at
least when it's exclusively child led, but I guess with circumstances around
6 mths ago this probably wouldn't count as entirely child led. I think the
thing that slightly concerns me here is that we purposely didn't offer cows
milk as a drink, to encourage nursing, yet she weaned anyway, leaving her
consuming no milk at all, she does eat a balanced diet and a good quantity
too (more than her older brother), but I do need to look carefully to see if
she'd getting enough fat for brain development.

Cheers

Anne


  #5  
Old December 20th 06, 10:43 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding,misc.kids.pregnancy
Cathy Weeks
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Posts: 275
Default sad (for me) post


Anne Rogers wrote:
I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest
whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that
place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm
convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6
months (she's 18 months).


You know... 18 months is awfully good. Compare that to the US national
average age at breastfeeding weaning, and you are like in the 99th
percentile over here. Maybe not ideal for your daughter, but certainly
very good.

My youngest brother self-weaned at 10 months. He just had better
things to do than sit and nurse (like chase after his older brother ;-)

Cathy Weeks

  #6  
Old December 21st 06, 03:04 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding,misc.kids.pregnancy
Jamie Clark
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Posts: 855
Default sad (for me) post

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
. ..
Anne Rogers wrote:
I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest
whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in
that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm
convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another
6 months (she's 18 months).

I've looked back over our nursing relationship to try and figure out the
reasons for this unusual timing in self weaning,


Actually, I don't think it's all that unusual a time
for self-weaning. All mine chose to wean around then. I think
it's rather a natural time for kids who are happily eating a wide
variety of solids and getting active. I'm sure lots of kids will
also choose to wean later, but I really don't think this is all
that unusual. And I didn't have any particular challenges either.
It's just the way things worked out. I always find it a bit
sad when they wean, but it is what it is.

Best wishes,
Ericka


I've never even breastfeed a child long term, but it didn't sound like an
unusual timeframe to me either.
--

Jamie
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  #7  
Old December 21st 06, 06:40 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding,misc.kids.pregnancy
Irrational Number
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 306
Default sad (for me) post

Anne Rogers wrote:

I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest
whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that
place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm
convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6
months (she's 18 months).


Aww, Anne! You've done a great job. Please stay
around here.

-- Anita --
  #8  
Old December 21st 06, 10:15 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding,misc.kids.pregnancy
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 77
Default sad (for me) post

Anne, I think you are being too hard on yourself. You've done an
awesome job bf'ing Ada whilst taking care of the home, Nathaniel and
moving to another country - all with your physical health problems. I'm
willing to bet most women, even some ardent pro-bf'ers, would have
given up by now. The fact that it's ended on Ada's terms with no tears
and no fuss would be something all bf'ers would aspire to. You've done
your daughter proud and your experience and encouragement will no doubt
help lots of women through the hard times. Well done!

Jeni

  #9  
Old January 15th 07, 06:40 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding,misc.kids.pregnancy
blue
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 13
Default sad (for me) post


"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest
whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in
that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm
convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6
months (she's 18 months).

I've looked back over our nursing relationship to try and figure out the
reasons for this unusual timing in self weaning, I think in the main it is
her personality, she almost never comfort nursed, she almost never nursed
to sleep, even as a tiny newborn, she would nurse til she was full, stop,
than lay awake for half an hour before sleeping. She also sorted out her
own sucking comfort, she's not a thumb sucker, but she does this trick
with two fingers that's equivalent, I hope we don't have trouble getting
her to drop that.

Then there are circumstances, stuff that happened during our nursing
relationship, the big thing would be at 11 mths, when I had a bad
accident, for the next 3 months, I couldn't carry her, she was always
brought to me to feed and was cared for by other people, kind people
delayed the nursing sessions and cut them down to the bare essentials,
this can't have helped in the long term.

So now I find myself looking ahead, was a nursing session that I can't
even remember, around Thanksgiving, my last ever? I hope not, but DH is
saying he doesn't want more kids, the last 19mths have been very hard on
us all, we are very lucky, having a boy and a girl. For me, I want to
leave things open, I don't know whether it's my hormones or what, but
getting my body ready for pregnancy is a big motivation for me when I'm
doing physio exercises or a session in the therapy pool. Also, having
moved to the US from the UK, I'm not able to work, by the time I am able
to work (6 years), it could well be very difficult to get a job that I
would like and with the nature of DH's job, it's unlikely that I'd have to
work and take a job that I was less content with and lower paid, but at
27, looking ahead to a life of motherhood to two children seems a little
empty. Thankfully we'd always agreed to wait, I do not want to be pregnant
right now, so we've got time to get on with life and see what happens.

I'll still be hanging around on mkb and mkp, though both seem quite quiet
at the moment, I'm also hoping to become a breastfeeding supporter,
probably through la leche league.

Cheers
Anne


I relate to this post....I have one girl who's almost 3 and I breastfed her-
well, I had no idea I would even breastfeed her, I was not committed or
decisive beforehand. But when she was born a lactation consultant visited me
several times a day and worked with me, and she ended up being a champion
nurser with no problems, so everything was so convenient and nursing worked
out well. I went from "I guess so" planning to "try" breastfeeding to
becoming a huge breastfeeding advocate and extended bf-er. I never imagine
we'd go for 2 years. She nursed exactly 2 yrs and 3 weeks, and I decided
while my husband was off work to wean her. We cosleep and at that age she
was only nursing to sleep. It took one week, and she stopped nursing with
him putting her to bed and then bringing her back when she was sound asleep.
One week after she stopped nursing she totally bawled and cried to nurse
until she fell asleep (I was devastated...I did not experience postpartum
depression, but as soon as weaning started and for about a month afterwards
I did experience a depression. ) She asked to nurse only one more time and I
gave in and nursed her once 2 weeks after weaning (I was surprised I still
had milk!) Then, it was over. The sweetest thing is she is almost 3, hasn't
nursed since exactly 2y3weeks, and she still remembers nursing and talks
about it. She talks a lot for a 2-3 year old. But she will say all kinds of
things about it, it's amazing.

I still feel depressed to have the special nursing time be over. I am TTC
and plan to nurse my next baby. I actually want one more baby after this,
and plan to nurse #3 too. I'm 30, and am reallllyyyy TTC ASAP, and if I do
for sure plan to have a #3 I know I want to do that much sooner after #2--I
never really wanted to wait so long for a #2, I wanted them to be closer in
age. Such is life...


  #10  
Old January 15th 07, 10:49 AM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding,misc.kids.pregnancy
lucy-lu
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 95
Default sad (for me) post


"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest
whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in
that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm
convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6
months (she's 18 months).

I've looked back over our nursing relationship to try and figure out the
reasons for this unusual timing in self weaning, I think in the main it is
her personality, she almost never comfort nursed, she almost never nursed
to sleep, even as a tiny newborn, she would nurse til she was full, stop,
than lay awake for half an hour before sleeping. She also sorted out her
own sucking comfort, she's not a thumb sucker, but she does this trick
with two fingers that's equivalent, I hope we don't have trouble getting
her to drop that.

Then there are circumstances, stuff that happened during our nursing
relationship, the big thing would be at 11 mths, when I had a bad
accident, for the next 3 months, I couldn't carry her, she was always
brought to me to feed and was cared for by other people, kind people
delayed the nursing sessions and cut them down to the bare essentials,
this can't have helped in the long term.

So now I find myself looking ahead, was a nursing session that I can't
even remember, around Thanksgiving, my last ever? I hope not, but DH is
saying he doesn't want more kids, the last 19mths have been very hard on
us all, we are very lucky, having a boy and a girl. For me, I want to
leave things open, I don't know whether it's my hormones or what, but
getting my body ready for pregnancy is a big motivation for me when I'm
doing physio exercises or a session in the therapy pool. Also, having
moved to the US from the UK, I'm not able to work, by the time I am able
to work (6 years), it could well be very difficult to get a job that I
would like and with the nature of DH's job, it's unlikely that I'd have to
work and take a job that I was less content with and lower paid, but at
27, looking ahead to a life of motherhood to two children seems a little
empty. Thankfully we'd always agreed to wait, I do not want to be pregnant
right now, so we've got time to get on with life and see what happens.

I'll still be hanging around on mkb and mkp, though both seem quite quiet
at the moment, I'm also hoping to become a breastfeeding supporter,
probably through la leche league.

Cheers
Anne

Congratulaions, Anne, on getting Ada to 18 months! You've done such a good
job! I'm feeling the sadness as Jessica's no longer interested in
breastfeeding. I still express, and I offer her her the breast first, but
she doesn't want to know, even for comfort. Still, since I said I didnt want
to BF when I was pg with her, I'm proud to have got her to six months - even
if I then plaaned to do a year. I'll just give her EBM for as long as I can.

Please do hang around tho - it was you amongst others that helped me get
through my pregnancy, and helped me feed Jessica, and I really appreciate
it. I hope that others will be helped by you too, and becoming a la leche
supporter sounds a fantastic choice for you.

Congratulations again!

Lucy x


 




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