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sad (for me) post
I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest
whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6 months (she's 18 months). I've looked back over our nursing relationship to try and figure out the reasons for this unusual timing in self weaning, I think in the main it is her personality, she almost never comfort nursed, she almost never nursed to sleep, even as a tiny newborn, she would nurse til she was full, stop, than lay awake for half an hour before sleeping. She also sorted out her own sucking comfort, she's not a thumb sucker, but she does this trick with two fingers that's equivalent, I hope we don't have trouble getting her to drop that. Then there are circumstances, stuff that happened during our nursing relationship, the big thing would be at 11 mths, when I had a bad accident, for the next 3 months, I couldn't carry her, she was always brought to me to feed and was cared for by other people, kind people delayed the nursing sessions and cut them down to the bare essentials, this can't have helped in the long term. So now I find myself looking ahead, was a nursing session that I can't even remember, around Thanksgiving, my last ever? I hope not, but DH is saying he doesn't want more kids, the last 19mths have been very hard on us all, we are very lucky, having a boy and a girl. For me, I want to leave things open, I don't know whether it's my hormones or what, but getting my body ready for pregnancy is a big motivation for me when I'm doing physio exercises or a session in the therapy pool. Also, having moved to the US from the UK, I'm not able to work, by the time I am able to work (6 years), it could well be very difficult to get a job that I would like and with the nature of DH's job, it's unlikely that I'd have to work and take a job that I was less content with and lower paid, but at 27, looking ahead to a life of motherhood to two children seems a little empty. Thankfully we'd always agreed to wait, I do not want to be pregnant right now, so we've got time to get on with life and see what happens. I'll still be hanging around on mkb and mkp, though both seem quite quiet at the moment, I'm also hoping to become a breastfeeding supporter, probably through la leche league. Cheers Anne |
#2
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sad (for me) post
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message ... I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6 months (she's 18 months). (((hugs))) Your dh may change his mind. You've got plenty of time. I know one dad who took nearly 7 years and now he's besotted! It is sad stopping feeding isn't it? I'm always surprised when people say "isn't it wonderful I've stopped feeding". It's one of the things I'm most looking forward to with #3 (along with not feeling sick any more) Debbie |
#3
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sad (for me) post
Anne Rogers wrote:
I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6 months (she's 18 months). I've looked back over our nursing relationship to try and figure out the reasons for this unusual timing in self weaning, Actually, I don't think it's all that unusual a time for self-weaning. All mine chose to wean around then. I think it's rather a natural time for kids who are happily eating a wide variety of solids and getting active. I'm sure lots of kids will also choose to wean later, but I really don't think this is all that unusual. And I didn't have any particular challenges either. It's just the way things worked out. I always find it a bit sad when they wean, but it is what it is. Best wishes, Ericka |
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sad (for me) post
Actually, I don't think it's all that unusual a time
for self-weaning. All mine chose to wean around then. I think it's rather a natural time for kids who are happily eating a wide variety of solids and getting active. I'm sure lots of kids will also choose to wean later, but I really don't think this is all that unusual. And I didn't have any particular challenges either. It's just the way things worked out. I always find it a bit sad when they wean, but it is what it is. kellymom and other similar resources seem to think it is unusual, or at least when it's exclusively child led, but I guess with circumstances around 6 mths ago this probably wouldn't count as entirely child led. I think the thing that slightly concerns me here is that we purposely didn't offer cows milk as a drink, to encourage nursing, yet she weaned anyway, leaving her consuming no milk at all, she does eat a balanced diet and a good quantity too (more than her older brother), but I do need to look carefully to see if she'd getting enough fat for brain development. Cheers Anne |
#5
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sad (for me) post
Anne Rogers wrote: I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6 months (she's 18 months). You know... 18 months is awfully good. Compare that to the US national average age at breastfeeding weaning, and you are like in the 99th percentile over here. Maybe not ideal for your daughter, but certainly very good. My youngest brother self-weaned at 10 months. He just had better things to do than sit and nurse (like chase after his older brother ;-) Cathy Weeks |
#6
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sad (for me) post
"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
. .. Anne Rogers wrote: I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6 months (she's 18 months). I've looked back over our nursing relationship to try and figure out the reasons for this unusual timing in self weaning, Actually, I don't think it's all that unusual a time for self-weaning. All mine chose to wean around then. I think it's rather a natural time for kids who are happily eating a wide variety of solids and getting active. I'm sure lots of kids will also choose to wean later, but I really don't think this is all that unusual. And I didn't have any particular challenges either. It's just the way things worked out. I always find it a bit sad when they wean, but it is what it is. Best wishes, Ericka I've never even breastfeed a child long term, but it didn't sound like an unusual timeframe to me either. -- Jamie Earth Angels: Taylor Marlys -- 01/03/03 Addison Grace -- 09/30/04 Check out the family! -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1, Password: Guest Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and Password |
#7
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sad (for me) post
Anne Rogers wrote:
I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6 months (she's 18 months). Aww, Anne! You've done a great job. Please stay around here. -- Anita -- |
#8
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sad (for me) post
Anne, I think you are being too hard on yourself. You've done an
awesome job bf'ing Ada whilst taking care of the home, Nathaniel and moving to another country - all with your physical health problems. I'm willing to bet most women, even some ardent pro-bf'ers, would have given up by now. The fact that it's ended on Ada's terms with no tears and no fuss would be something all bf'ers would aspire to. You've done your daughter proud and your experience and encouragement will no doubt help lots of women through the hard times. Well done! Jeni |
#9
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sad (for me) post
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message ... I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6 months (she's 18 months). I've looked back over our nursing relationship to try and figure out the reasons for this unusual timing in self weaning, I think in the main it is her personality, she almost never comfort nursed, she almost never nursed to sleep, even as a tiny newborn, she would nurse til she was full, stop, than lay awake for half an hour before sleeping. She also sorted out her own sucking comfort, she's not a thumb sucker, but she does this trick with two fingers that's equivalent, I hope we don't have trouble getting her to drop that. Then there are circumstances, stuff that happened during our nursing relationship, the big thing would be at 11 mths, when I had a bad accident, for the next 3 months, I couldn't carry her, she was always brought to me to feed and was cared for by other people, kind people delayed the nursing sessions and cut them down to the bare essentials, this can't have helped in the long term. So now I find myself looking ahead, was a nursing session that I can't even remember, around Thanksgiving, my last ever? I hope not, but DH is saying he doesn't want more kids, the last 19mths have been very hard on us all, we are very lucky, having a boy and a girl. For me, I want to leave things open, I don't know whether it's my hormones or what, but getting my body ready for pregnancy is a big motivation for me when I'm doing physio exercises or a session in the therapy pool. Also, having moved to the US from the UK, I'm not able to work, by the time I am able to work (6 years), it could well be very difficult to get a job that I would like and with the nature of DH's job, it's unlikely that I'd have to work and take a job that I was less content with and lower paid, but at 27, looking ahead to a life of motherhood to two children seems a little empty. Thankfully we'd always agreed to wait, I do not want to be pregnant right now, so we've got time to get on with life and see what happens. I'll still be hanging around on mkb and mkp, though both seem quite quiet at the moment, I'm also hoping to become a breastfeeding supporter, probably through la leche league. Cheers Anne I relate to this post....I have one girl who's almost 3 and I breastfed her- well, I had no idea I would even breastfeed her, I was not committed or decisive beforehand. But when she was born a lactation consultant visited me several times a day and worked with me, and she ended up being a champion nurser with no problems, so everything was so convenient and nursing worked out well. I went from "I guess so" planning to "try" breastfeeding to becoming a huge breastfeeding advocate and extended bf-er. I never imagine we'd go for 2 years. She nursed exactly 2 yrs and 3 weeks, and I decided while my husband was off work to wean her. We cosleep and at that age she was only nursing to sleep. It took one week, and she stopped nursing with him putting her to bed and then bringing her back when she was sound asleep. One week after she stopped nursing she totally bawled and cried to nurse until she fell asleep (I was devastated...I did not experience postpartum depression, but as soon as weaning started and for about a month afterwards I did experience a depression. ) She asked to nurse only one more time and I gave in and nursed her once 2 weeks after weaning (I was surprised I still had milk!) Then, it was over. The sweetest thing is she is almost 3, hasn't nursed since exactly 2y3weeks, and she still remembers nursing and talks about it. She talks a lot for a 2-3 year old. But she will say all kinds of things about it, it's amazing. I still feel depressed to have the special nursing time be over. I am TTC and plan to nurse my next baby. I actually want one more baby after this, and plan to nurse #3 too. I'm 30, and am reallllyyyy TTC ASAP, and if I do for sure plan to have a #3 I know I want to do that much sooner after #2--I never really wanted to wait so long for a #2, I wanted them to be closer in age. Such is life... |
#10
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sad (for me) post
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message ... I think we really are done breastfeeding, DD just has no interest whatsoever, I feel sad about this, I respect that emotionally she is in that place, but I know she hasn't read the books, or the research and I'm convinced it would have been better for both of us if we'd nursed another 6 months (she's 18 months). I've looked back over our nursing relationship to try and figure out the reasons for this unusual timing in self weaning, I think in the main it is her personality, she almost never comfort nursed, she almost never nursed to sleep, even as a tiny newborn, she would nurse til she was full, stop, than lay awake for half an hour before sleeping. She also sorted out her own sucking comfort, she's not a thumb sucker, but she does this trick with two fingers that's equivalent, I hope we don't have trouble getting her to drop that. Then there are circumstances, stuff that happened during our nursing relationship, the big thing would be at 11 mths, when I had a bad accident, for the next 3 months, I couldn't carry her, she was always brought to me to feed and was cared for by other people, kind people delayed the nursing sessions and cut them down to the bare essentials, this can't have helped in the long term. So now I find myself looking ahead, was a nursing session that I can't even remember, around Thanksgiving, my last ever? I hope not, but DH is saying he doesn't want more kids, the last 19mths have been very hard on us all, we are very lucky, having a boy and a girl. For me, I want to leave things open, I don't know whether it's my hormones or what, but getting my body ready for pregnancy is a big motivation for me when I'm doing physio exercises or a session in the therapy pool. Also, having moved to the US from the UK, I'm not able to work, by the time I am able to work (6 years), it could well be very difficult to get a job that I would like and with the nature of DH's job, it's unlikely that I'd have to work and take a job that I was less content with and lower paid, but at 27, looking ahead to a life of motherhood to two children seems a little empty. Thankfully we'd always agreed to wait, I do not want to be pregnant right now, so we've got time to get on with life and see what happens. I'll still be hanging around on mkb and mkp, though both seem quite quiet at the moment, I'm also hoping to become a breastfeeding supporter, probably through la leche league. Cheers Anne Congratulaions, Anne, on getting Ada to 18 months! You've done such a good job! I'm feeling the sadness as Jessica's no longer interested in breastfeeding. I still express, and I offer her her the breast first, but she doesn't want to know, even for comfort. Still, since I said I didnt want to BF when I was pg with her, I'm proud to have got her to six months - even if I then plaaned to do a year. I'll just give her EBM for as long as I can. Please do hang around tho - it was you amongst others that helped me get through my pregnancy, and helped me feed Jessica, and I really appreciate it. I hope that others will be helped by you too, and becoming a la leche supporter sounds a fantastic choice for you. Congratulations again! Lucy x |
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