the dreaded "sleep thru night" thread

Stephanie and Tim wrote in message
...

"Cheryl S." wrote in message
...
I don't know anyone that has an easy time with toddlers.


I am well aware that I am a freak. But I thought the toddler
times were a BREEZE. There was a stressful period around
2.75 when ds was turning "three" AND a new baby came
home. But the actual toddler time was easy for me.

Huh. That's actually my situation right now - she's going on 2.75 and
we have a new baby.

Toddlers have wants and are often completely illogical or their
wants conflict with their needs. Or they want one thing then if you
give it to them they have a crying fit because they *don't* want it,
or
want something else instead.

This did not happen with my son 'til he was more of a preschooler
than a toddler, ie. had been walking for a really long time. By then
it was easy enought to give in when appropriate and ignore otherwise.

I'm exaggerating a bit. ;-) When she was really a toddler, I did find
things got easier once she could communicate her needs pretty clearly.
Now she's really not much of a toddler anymore, but isn't quite a
preschooler yet either. I know that when she gets difficult now it's
really about control and feeling like she doesn't have enough of it, or
the frustration of just wanting to do things she's not able to yet. But
knowing that doesn't usually make it easier to live with when I'm in a
no-win situation because everything I do just makes her more upset until
I just have to walk away because she can't be reasoned with.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
And Jaden, 2 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

Penny Gaines wrote in message
...
Cheryl S. wrote in :

This has not been my experience. My daughter always
nursed before going to sleep and she slept through the night
from when she was 3 months old.

It probably depends on the child as well. I had one baby who
could be put into a darkened room, and would fall asleep easily.
I had two others, who if they were put in a darkened room
would cry. And cry. And cry, until someone came and cuddled
them off to sleep.

I'm sure it does depend on the child. I just didn't want to leave
unchallenged the notion that breastfeeding is a recipe for sleep
problems.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 2 yr., 7 mo.
And Jaden, 2 months

Cleaning the house while your children are small is like
shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing.

"Stephanie and Tim" wrote in message . ..
"Cheryl S." wrote in message
...

I don't know anyone that has an easy time with toddlers.

I am well aware that I am a freak. But I thought the toddler times were a
BREEZE. There was a stressful period around 2.75 when ds was turning "three"
AND a new baby came home. But the actual toddler time was easy for me.

snip

Everyone is different. I loved it when my son started talking. We could
reduce some of the otherwise unfun times, like in the car, by chatting and
singing. In many cases, I did not really know what he was talking about, but
he was happy just feeling I was listening. Everyone's perspective is
different. Thank goodness. Otherwise the world would be so boring.

Again, in this as in the sleep thing, my experience so far (with a
youngish toddler) is in alignment with yours. Before my son could
talk, my biggest stressor with him aside from his lack of sleep was
his hatred of the car! I'd constantly hear from people that
babies love riding in cars, and it'd make me grind my teeth, because
he just HATED it. I had really thought I would love being with
a baby, because I love babies, but that was before I had one who
never slept and never let me go anywhere. I loved him, but it'd
be a stretch to say I loved being with him.

Now that he's started talking a bit, we can while away car rides
with conversation (although his side mostly consists of "yeah",
"no", and "dut!" which means "truck!"). He sleeps better, for
whatever reason, and we can play games and talk about things in
books and wander around outside picking up stuff and talking
about it... it may well be that he'll have a terrible-two stage
that will make me eat my words, but right now he's much easier
for me than he was as an infant, unreasonable demands and all.

For me, that's the coolest thing about Usenet, getting different
perspectives on things like this.

Beth

Dave wrote:

Very true. We applied what we had learned the hard way with child #1 to
child #2 and things went much much much much smoother. I think the big
thing for us was knowing what was possible... it's tough for most people to
start heading for a destination they are not sure exists...


True, and you hear so many stories about how
horrible it is that you often *do* tend to doubt that
it's possible. We were slower on the uptake with
sleep issues with #1. He slept just fine, but by
8 months or so we still hadn't gotten around to
standardizing bedtime, less because we didn't think
it possible than because we just hadn't disciplined
ourselves to do it. We decided we were being silly
and started having more of a routine and it worked
beautifully. There hadn't been problems before, but
having a bedtime helped us get more things done and
gave us more couple time in the evenings and, I think,
built a foundation that came in very handy later.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Don't change. Your posts are always thoughtful AND often extremely
entertaining.

"Stephanie and Tim" wrote in message
...

I think I may be a little bit known for my --- bluntness. I can't help it.

On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 11:35:55 -0500, "Cheryl S."
wrote:

Now she's really not much of a toddler anymore, but isn't quite a
preschooler yet either. I know that when she gets difficult now it's
really about control and feeling like she doesn't have enough of it, or
the frustration of just wanting to do things she's not able to yet. But
knowing that doesn't usually make it easier to live with when I'm in a
no-win situation because everything I do just makes her more upset until
I just have to walk away because she can't be reasoned with.

This is the hardest stage, but actually, I am sure that your knowing
that it's about her wanting control should make it a bit easier to
deal with. And you are right that reasoning is not a strong point at
this stage, still knowing that it is normal and that it *will* end
should help some.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

On 19 Nov 2003 10:45:23 -0800, (Elizabeth Reid)
wrote:

Before my son could talk, my biggest stressor with him
aside from his lack of sleep was his hatred of the car!

I often wonder whether or not this is because the infant carseats
seem so uncomfortable. You can't really do without them, but
for newborns, they scrunch up his tummy and I would think that
some babies really are uncomfortable with that so they hate the
car.

I also wonder if some babies have *motion sickness* but don't
vomit from it the way adults do. My granddaughter hated the
swing when she was really little. It seemed to put most babies
to sleep but not her.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

"Elizabeth Reid" wrote in message

Again, in this as in the sleep thing, my experience so far (with a
youngish toddler) is in alignment with yours. Before my son could
talk, my biggest stressor with him aside from his lack of sleep was
his hatred of the car!

Oh my goodness. After reading your sleeping post and now this...I'm
convinced that your ds and mine are separated at birth...weird. FWIW, the
car thing got better after two. He also started napping better after two.
--
JennP.

mom to Matthew 10/11/00
remove "no........spam" to reply

"toto" wrote in message
...

While you may think this is good, it's a sign that the baby did
not bond properly with you. While separation anxiety doesn't
have to be severe, NO signs of it ever is not a *good* thing.

So my son didn't properly bond to me? Tell that to dh, my ds or any other
person who knows us. He is EXTREMELY bonded to me and he NEVER had any
separation anxiety. He is VERY affectionate and SECURE and loves me
INTENSELY thankyouverymuch!

Talk about sweeping generalizations. Sheesh.

--
JennP.

"I base my fashion on what doesn't itch" Gilda Radner

toto wrote in
:

On 19 Nov 2003 10:45:23 -0800,
(Elizabeth Reid) wrote:

Before my son could talk, my biggest stressor with him
aside from his lack of sleep was his hatred of the car!

I often wonder whether or not this is because the infant
carseats seem so uncomfortable. You can't really do
without them, but for newborns, they scrunch up his tummy
and I would think that some babies really are uncomfortable
with that so they hate the car.

with Boo we didn't have any problems with the carseat until
he was around 4-5 months. we had a Britax, which is actually
comfortably padded & doesn't scrunch the poor baby... but at
4-5 months Boo decided he didn't like facing backwards. i
think looking out the window that way did make him carsick to
some degree. he was better after i covered the window &
attached a mirror & some toys to the seatback he was facing.
at 15 months he got a new carseat because the Britax had a
worn strap. i *should* have got another Britax, because we've
been fighting the uncomfortable carseat battle ever since. i
added padding under the cover which solved 98% of the problem
though.
if he ever gets to 40 pounds, *i'll* be sitting in the
boosters to test the comfort before i buy one! g
lee