Delurking again to ask a question

#1 April 16th 04, 04:53 PM

It seems like lately I've barely had time to even keep up with the group, my
life has been so crazy. My mother, who lives with us, had a heart attack a
couple months ago. At the same time, the boys' grandpa (their dad's dad) was
killed in a car accident. Then of course there's all the spring work of
getting gardens going, fruit trees pruned, etc. Now I think the boys are
feeling the stress and are acting out in the only way they know how: by
fighting with each other. They get really vicious with each other and I'm
worried one of them will get hurt very badly. When it starts, I try to
immediately separate them and get them calmed down, but I'm only one person.
I guess I've answered the "why" just by typing this post. No wonder they're
acting out so much! I don't usually put them in time out for it since it
seems like a natural reaction for them, but I've been putting them on either
side of me on the couch and just getting a little quiet time until they
settle down. Unfortunately, I can't just sit there with them for an hour and
read story after story. Most of the time they play outside while I'm working
out there but eventually they start competing with each other over something
then fighting. Any other suggestions besides what I'm doing? For background
to those who don't remember us, they're almost 4 (!!?!), they go to
preschool 4 days a week for 3 hours a day, I'm a single mom (dad in a
different state), and Alex and Jordan are really wonderful little boys
mostly. :-) TIA!

--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000

#2 April 16th 04, 09:41 PM

Just a thought Leslie, if you are sitting them close to you and reading them
stories because they were fighting, you are actually rewarding their bad
behaviour with your undivided attention. They will keep doing it as long as
they get this payoff. My suggestion would be to separate them into
different rooms. They will get bored and realize that because they were
fighting they now have nobody to play with. Also, we tend to forget that
our multiples are with one another 24 hours per day (unless they are in
school and in different classes), they even share a room in the majority of
households. It's perfectly normal for them to get sick of one another and
need some time apart. Can you imagine us spending every minute of every day
with our husbands? We would be sick of him and start fighting too!

Hope this helps,
Peggy
http://www.babygardengifts.com

"Leslie" wrote in message
...
It seems like lately I've barely had time to even keep up with the group,
my
life has been so crazy. My mother, who lives with us, had a heart attack a
couple months ago. At the same time, the boys' grandpa (their dad's dad)
was
killed in a car accident. Then of course there's all the spring work of
getting gardens going, fruit trees pruned, etc. Now I think the boys are
feeling the stress and are acting out in the only way they know how: by
fighting with each other. They get really vicious with each other and I'm
worried one of them will get hurt very badly. When it starts, I try to
immediately separate them and get them calmed down, but I'm only one
person.
I guess I've answered the "why" just by typing this post. No wonder
they're
acting out so much! I don't usually put them in time out for it since it
seems like a natural reaction for them, but I've been putting them on
either
side of me on the couch and just getting a little quiet time until they
settle down. Unfortunately, I can't just sit there with them for an hour
and
read story after story. Most of the time they play outside while I'm
working
out there but eventually they start competing with each other over
something
then fighting. Any other suggestions besides what I'm doing? For
background
to those who don't remember us, they're almost 4 (!!?!), they go to
preschool 4 days a week for 3 hours a day, I'm a single mom (dad in a
different state), and Alex and Jordan are really wonderful little boys
mostly. :-) TIA!

--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000

#3 April 16th 04, 09:41 PM

Just a thought Leslie, if you are sitting them close to you and reading them
stories because they were fighting, you are actually rewarding their bad
behaviour with your undivided attention. They will keep doing it as long as
they get this payoff. My suggestion would be to separate them into
different rooms. They will get bored and realize that because they were
fighting they now have nobody to play with. Also, we tend to forget that
our multiples are with one another 24 hours per day (unless they are in
school and in different classes), they even share a room in the majority of
households. It's perfectly normal for them to get sick of one another and
need some time apart. Can you imagine us spending every minute of every day
with our husbands? We would be sick of him and start fighting too!

Hope this helps,
Peggy
http://www.babygardengifts.com

"Leslie" wrote in message
...
It seems like lately I've barely had time to even keep up with the group,
my
life has been so crazy. My mother, who lives with us, had a heart attack a
couple months ago. At the same time, the boys' grandpa (their dad's dad)
was
killed in a car accident. Then of course there's all the spring work of
getting gardens going, fruit trees pruned, etc. Now I think the boys are
feeling the stress and are acting out in the only way they know how: by
fighting with each other. They get really vicious with each other and I'm
worried one of them will get hurt very badly. When it starts, I try to
immediately separate them and get them calmed down, but I'm only one
person.
I guess I've answered the "why" just by typing this post. No wonder
they're
acting out so much! I don't usually put them in time out for it since it
seems like a natural reaction for them, but I've been putting them on
either
side of me on the couch and just getting a little quiet time until they
settle down. Unfortunately, I can't just sit there with them for an hour
and
read story after story. Most of the time they play outside while I'm
working
out there but eventually they start competing with each other over
something
then fighting. Any other suggestions besides what I'm doing? For
background
to those who don't remember us, they're almost 4 (!!?!), they go to
preschool 4 days a week for 3 hours a day, I'm a single mom (dad in a
different state), and Alex and Jordan are really wonderful little boys
mostly. :-) TIA!

--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000

#4 April 16th 04, 09:41 PM

Just a thought Leslie, if you are sitting them close to you and reading them
stories because they were fighting, you are actually rewarding their bad
behaviour with your undivided attention. They will keep doing it as long as
they get this payoff. My suggestion would be to separate them into
different rooms. They will get bored and realize that because they were
fighting they now have nobody to play with. Also, we tend to forget that
our multiples are with one another 24 hours per day (unless they are in
school and in different classes), they even share a room in the majority of
households. It's perfectly normal for them to get sick of one another and
need some time apart. Can you imagine us spending every minute of every day
with our husbands? We would be sick of him and start fighting too!

Hope this helps,
Peggy
http://www.babygardengifts.com

"Leslie" wrote in message
...
It seems like lately I've barely had time to even keep up with the group,
my
life has been so crazy. My mother, who lives with us, had a heart attack a
couple months ago. At the same time, the boys' grandpa (their dad's dad)
was
killed in a car accident. Then of course there's all the spring work of
getting gardens going, fruit trees pruned, etc. Now I think the boys are
feeling the stress and are acting out in the only way they know how: by
fighting with each other. They get really vicious with each other and I'm
worried one of them will get hurt very badly. When it starts, I try to
immediately separate them and get them calmed down, but I'm only one
person.
I guess I've answered the "why" just by typing this post. No wonder
they're
acting out so much! I don't usually put them in time out for it since it
seems like a natural reaction for them, but I've been putting them on
either
side of me on the couch and just getting a little quiet time until they
settle down. Unfortunately, I can't just sit there with them for an hour
and
read story after story. Most of the time they play outside while I'm
working
out there but eventually they start competing with each other over
something
then fighting. Any other suggestions besides what I'm doing? For
background
to those who don't remember us, they're almost 4 (!!?!), they go to
preschool 4 days a week for 3 hours a day, I'm a single mom (dad in a
different state), and Alex and Jordan are really wonderful little boys
mostly. :-) TIA!

--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000

#5 April 16th 04, 10:36 PM

Hi Leslie.....waving! I've been wondering where you've been. I've missed
"seeing" you here. I'm sorry about your mother and the boys' GF. I hope
things will settle down and you'll be able to post more often.

Jordan and Madison started fighting with each other a lot more a few months
before they turned four also. Usually I send the offender to time-out in her
room, but sometimes it gets so bad that I make one go upstairs and one stay
downstairs. For some reason they HATE that. You'd think if someone was
getting on your nerves that badly then being separated would be a relief.