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Character of a growing girl (middle school question)
I posted this question in the financial aid thread, but I'd really like to
discuss it further. Could anyone please give me some input on this? If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education *OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da heck does one decide, anyway. Either? Both, with the hope of a windfall? What makes the biggest difference to the character of a growing girl? My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with "middle school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember those years as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to school-related issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did. beeswing |
#2
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Character of a growing girl (middle school question)
beeswing wrote:
If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education *OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da heck does one decide, anyway. I hate to follow up myself, but I want to clarify something. I'm not suggesting that my daughter wouldn't go to college if we somehow managed to send her to private school. The issue is who would pay for college -- and how. Right now, I'm committed to paying her college with the same limitations my dad gave me: she'd have to stay in state and go to a state-run college. Anything more and she'd have to make up the difference herself. But private school could blow a hole in that theory.... beeswing |
#3
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Character of a growing girl (middle school question)
In article , beeswing wrote:
I posted this question in the financial aid thread, but I'd really like to discuss it further. Could anyone please give me some input on this? If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education *OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da heck does one decide, anyway. Either? Both, with the hope of a windfall? What makes the biggest difference to the character of a growing girl? I don't know about "character", but a public university education is a far better educational investment than a private middle school. In 10 years no one is going to care much whether she went to a good or a mediocre middle school, but going to a good university will affect her choices for the rest of her life. If I remember right, you are in Seattle, where going to private schools is highly fashionable (over 1/3 of all students do), but there are still decent public schools available. Far better to go to a decent public school and have enough money to afford 4+ years of university than to go to a ritzy middle school and then only be able to afford an AA degree. -- Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels) Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed) Professor of Computer Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics Affiliations for identification only. |
#4
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Character of a growing girl (middle school question)
beeswing wrote:
beeswing wrote: If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education *OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da heck does one decide, anyway. I hate to follow up myself, but I want to clarify something. I'm not suggesting that my daughter wouldn't go to college if we somehow managed to send her to private school. The issue is who would pay for college -- and how. Right now, I'm committed to paying her college with the same limitations my dad gave me: she'd have to stay in state and go to a state-run college. Anything more and she'd have to make up the difference herself. But private school could blow a hole in that theory.... ....especially if the College decides you *shouldn't* have sent your daugther to private school and therefore you should still have all that tuition money in the bank There are no guarantees that the Private School will be any more or less difficult to navigate vis-a-vis all those issues that can make middle school a less-than-pleasant experience. Unless you interview a lot of the girls there and determine that they are all blissfully happy. DD starts middle school next year, and it's not really something to which I'm looking forward. At least the school has an okay reputation as being large enough that it's not difficult for anyone to find a group to be in. We aren't thinking of private school now. Maybe if we discern that she is desperately unhappy next year, we'll discuss it. It would surprise me if something like that happened. Scott DD 10 and DS 7.7 |
#5
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Character of a growing girl (middle school question)
In article , beeswing says...
I posted this question in the financial aid thread, but I'd really like to discuss it further. Could anyone please give me some input on this? If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education *OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da heck does one decide, anyway. Either? Both, with the hope of a windfall? What makes the biggest difference to the character of a growing girl? My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with "middle school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember those years as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to school-related issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did. beeswing I had a terrible experience, too. I was pretty geeky, and, after sixth grade when we moved from a place where we'd lived for five years, we moved nearly twice a year such that I went to five junior high schools through four grades (JH started in 6th in Texas, went through 9th in Colorao). So once I left my hard-won social connections in sixth grade ('though some were retained through seventh grade - long story), it was a pretty bleak experience. For my son, on the other hand, it's been much different. He's been in one neighborhood and one school district, and he's *much* more socially inclined than I am, so he's fairly well connected. I guess the upshot here is that your own experience in Junior High won't necessarily translate to your daughter's experience. The biggest difference to her character is her temprament; the next biggest is your relationship to her, bringing up a close third is the overall environment. Banty |
#6
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Character of a growing girl (middle school question)
In article ,
beeswing wrote: I posted this question in the financial aid thread, but I'd really like to discuss it further. Could anyone please give me some input on this? If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education *OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da heck does one decide, anyway. Either? Both, with the hope of a windfall? What makes the biggest difference to the character of a growing girl? My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with "middle school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember those years as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to school-related issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did. I think middle school (or junior high) is a tough time for a lot of people. Maybe most people. But I think it could be a tough time even in a good private school. You need to consider what it is about the school you are looking at that you think will make it a better place for your daughter. There are some benefits to single-sex education for girls, which I think you're considering based on the other thread. But I'm not convinced that the social scene would be better, and that is typically what makes middle school so hard for so many kids. Unless the school makes a special effort to explicitly address social issues, I think you will have them whether the school is public or private, all-girls or co-ed. That said, if you think private school is the best place for her for middle school, my philosophy is to worry about now now, and worry about later later. If she needs the private school now, I'd spend the money and figure out how you and she can finance her college education later. There's usually a way. (My kids are in private school now, which covers K-8, because it was the only place I could find that would meet their needs. They don't have college savings accounts yet, for a variety of reasons.) Good luck deciding!! --Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01) |
#7
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Character of a growing girl (middle school question)
beeswing wrote:
My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with "middle school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember those years as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to school-related issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did. beeswing My oldest will be off to middle school next year, but 5th grade has already been challenging. I'm not sure that private school would make the social stuff any better - around here private schools that aren't religious have a heavy concentration of such well to do kids that I suspect you might be trading in one set of issues for another. I spent years saying how glad I was I didn't have to relive the teen years until it finally dawned on me that a parent relives them through children. Lesley |
#8
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Character of a growing girl (middle school question)
beeswing wrote:
I posted this question in the financial aid thread, but I'd really like to discuss it further. Could anyone please give me some input on this? If one can (potentially, maybe) pay for instate, public university education *OR* private school (especially at the critical middle-school level), how da heck does one decide, anyway. Either? Both, with the hope of a windfall? What makes the biggest difference to the character of a growing girl? My daughter is almost 9, and she's an only. My only experience with "middle school" is having gone to public junior high myself. And I remember those years as being fairly miserable, though it wasn't all attributable to school-related issues. I'd like my daughter to have a better experience than I did. beeswing How is your daughter doing in her school now? I'm only asking because a friend of mine went through this same thing two years ago. Her daughter was excelling academically at public elementary school, but my friend felt she wasn't getting the attention she needed and she didn't really have any good friendships. So, for 5th grade, the parents sent her to a very expensive small private school and the girl blossomed and at the end of the year, thanked her parents for sending her. So, she's back at the private school this year and her younger brother has joined her. This pretty much eats up my friend's entire salary (who is not in a low-paying job by any means). That said, they also have the prepaid college tuition plan for our state which guarantees that tuition is paid no matter how high it rises. So, while the kids aren't set to go to Harvard, they are set for 4 years of college. Jeanne |
#9
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Character of a growing girl (middle school question)
That said, if you think private school is the best place for her for
middle school, my philosophy is to worry about now now, and worry about later later. If she needs the private school now, I'd spend the money and figure out how you and she can finance her college education later. I think that is definitely true. If I hadn't gone to private school when I did, I'd be a much less sane person today. That said, I was in a far worse situation in public school than I see my kids in currently, so the sacrifice was more worth it to my parents. Homeschooling was not a reasonable option then (or didn't look like it), tuition was a trifle cheaper, etc. Plus, with six kids, things like expensive family vacations just weren't going to happen anyway. Might as well put every cent towards school. --Helen |
#10
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Character of a growing girl (middle school question)
LFortier wrote:
I spent years saying how glad I was I didn't have to relive the teen years until it finally dawned on me that a parent relives them through children. Yes. But I think it's important to recognize that your daughter or son may or may not react to things the same way you did. So you may relive them, but you're reliving something that is different from what your child is living. Scott DD 10 and DS 7.8 |
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