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Time Article - What Teachers Hate about Parents (x-posted)



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 24th 05, 04:49 AM
Rosalie B.
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Default Time Article - What Teachers Hate about Parents (x-posted)

toto wrote:

Any anecdotes?


A friend of my sister was teaching in an inner city school in
Baltimore some years ago. She asked a parent to come in for a
conference because one of her students was not making an effort to
learn to read. The parent totally did not see why she was upset.
"But," protested my sister's friend, "he will need to learn to read to
get a job."

"Why? He can just go on welfare like the rest of us." was the
response.

I had a parent come in and complain about the fact that I saw her son
running to school in the morning (instead of taking the bus), and did
not call and tell her. (This was 6th grade in middle school.) He
wasn't even in my homeroom.

The same parent complained because I asked the kids to do a weather
instrument as a project at home, and I gave them instruction sheets
with several different ones on it (one of which was a rain gauge which
consisted only of an open topped can or container with markings on the
side). The child evidently decided to do one which required a half
gallon milk carton and a broom straw. The mom 'had to' get a half
gallon of milk when she normally got gallons, and 'had to' go out and
buy a broom.







I have several, but the one that is pertinent he
A parent came to the school with a complaint about homework in
geometry class. Parent said "If he can't get his work done in school,
he won't do it at home. It cuts into my quality time with my son if
he has homework to do."

You have to subscribe to Time Magazine (or go to the library
to get the whole article). I read it in print.

http://www.time.com/time/covers/1101050221/story.html

Parents Behaving Badly

Inside the new classroom power struggle: What teachers say
about pushy moms and dads who drive them crazy

By NANCY GIBBS

Posted Sunday, February 13, 2005
If you could walk past the teachers' lounge and listen in, what sorts
of stories would you hear?

An Iowa high school counselor gets a call from a parent protesting the
C her child received on an assignment. "The parent argued every point
in the essay," recalls the counselor, who soon realized why the mother
was so upset about the grade. "It became apparent that she'd written
it."

A sixth-grade teacher in California tells a girl in her class that she
needs to work on her reading at home, not just in school. "Her mom
came in the next day," the teacher says, "and started yelling at me
that I had emotionally upset her child."


grandma Rosalie
  #2  
Old February 24th 05, 04:53 AM
Jen
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"toto" wrote in message
news
Any anecdotes?


Many!!!
A mom once burst into my Grade 11 English class to berate my teacher about a
mark her son had recieved. Aparently a B isn't good enough and her son
couldn't possibly be that stupid, and the teacher was obviously being
stubborn and should give him an A.
Her son sank under the table to hide.


  #3  
Old February 24th 05, 05:32 AM
The Ranger
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Default

toto wrote in message
news
Any anecdotes?

[snip]

Not from teachers but one I witnessed at a district meeting with PTA
leaders.

The topic of quantity over quality has become a major issue within our
district. Some parents want their kids studying morning to late into the
night; others are a little more sensible about amounts. Teachers try and
accommodate both but have begun being flooded by page-after-ream from a
minority of parents. The two extreme POVs were in this meeting, almost
across the tables from each other.

Parent I'm-shooting-for-Harvard-and-he-NEEDS-make-work volleyed, "There
are just too many minutes where my child doesn't have any schoolwork. He
is going to go to Harvard Business so he needs more homework."

"Yeah? My child's not going to Harvard and is doing an hour in each
subject per day. He has six classes and three electives; you do the
math."

"Don't you help him?"

"You bet. Anytime he has to color a map, write an essay, or research a
topic, I make sure his homework is done."

I sat there but common sense got the better of me, "So you're doing his
geography, English, and science reports for him?"

"Why not? They're nothing more than an attempt to appease [waves at
other parent] them..."

"Because he's not learning anything! Are you going to go to college with
him, too?!"

The more she opened her mouth, the more I became convinced her son had
never done one page of homework, let alone earned any of _his_ grades.

The Ranger


  #4  
Old February 24th 05, 05:58 AM
Mermaid
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Posts: n/a
Default


"toto" wrote in message
news
Any anecdotes?

I have several, but the one that is pertinent he
A parent came to the school with a complaint about homework in
geometry class. Parent said "If he can't get his work done in school,
he won't do it at home. It cuts into my quality time with my son if
he has homework to do."

You have to subscribe to Time Magazine (or go to the library
to get the whole article). I read it in print.

http://www.time.com/time/covers/1101050221/story.html

Parents Behaving Badly

Inside the new classroom power struggle: What teachers say
about pushy moms and dads who drive them crazy

By NANCY GIBBS

Posted Sunday, February 13, 2005
If you could walk past the teachers' lounge and listen in, what sorts
of stories would you hear?

An Iowa high school counselor gets a call from a parent protesting the
C her child received on an assignment. "The parent argued every point
in the essay," recalls the counselor, who soon realized why the mother
was so upset about the grade. "It became apparent that she'd written
it."

A sixth-grade teacher in California tells a girl in her class that she
needs to work on her reading at home, not just in school. "Her mom
came in the next day," the teacher says, "and started yelling at me
that I had emotionally upset her child."


--
Dorothy



No but I have a major school rant. I hope this doesn't offend any teacher
types. This occurred today.

The school my dd goes to is lame on parents. They have stated that overall
there is a few that parents will complain or not be supportive. They are
just afraid to engage parents. They need help. They really need help in
the classroom and in other areas like the playground. I can understand why
they overall fear parents. Some of the stuff cited here in posts. Some
parents can be tough. But here I am and there are a few other parents as
well who are really wanting to help. Really great parents. WE are begging
them to let us help out. (Someone on the school board had the nerve to say
to my face that there are no parents who want to volunteer. At the time I
thought maybe I was in the minority but I am by and far not. Several of us
are practically begging and very proactive to be involved in our childrens
education)

So anyhow finally last week I get a call to come and work with a student in
2nd grade. He is one of the youngest 2nd graders and while he is smart he
lacks the attention span at times to keep up. With 25 students in the class
the teacher had trouble staying with him and taking care of all the other
students during a lesson. So finally she asked for help. Principal calls
me (and there are a few other parents involved as well for other days) to
come by on friday for an hour and shadow him during the math section which
is his hardest time of the day. So I go and I know two other parents as
well did too. It is reported to me that this student did better this last
week with us there just encouraging him to stay on task for 1 hour.

Today I get a call. Don't come again. Although it is helping the student
I'm sorry but your presence in the classroom is bothering the new student
teacher who states she can't teach while you are there because other adults
in the classroom make her nervous. The other two parents got the same
call.

Personally I find this absolutely ridiculous.

Anni


  #5  
Old February 24th 05, 06:33 AM
Melania
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


Mermaid wrote:
"toto" wrote in message
news
Any anecdotes?

I have several, but the one that is pertinent he
A parent came to the school with a complaint about homework in
geometry class. Parent said "If he can't get his work done in

school,
he won't do it at home. It cuts into my quality time with my son

if
he has homework to do."

You have to subscribe to Time Magazine (or go to the library
to get the whole article). I read it in print.

http://www.time.com/time/covers/1101050221/story.html

Parents Behaving Badly

Inside the new classroom power struggle: What teachers say
about pushy moms and dads who drive them crazy

By NANCY GIBBS

Posted Sunday, February 13, 2005
If you could walk past the teachers' lounge and listen in, what

sorts
of stories would you hear?

An Iowa high school counselor gets a call from a parent protesting

the
C her child received on an assignment. "The parent argued every

point
in the essay," recalls the counselor, who soon realized why the

mother
was so upset about the grade. "It became apparent that she'd

written
it."

A sixth-grade teacher in California tells a girl in her class that

she
needs to work on her reading at home, not just in school. "Her mom
came in the next day," the teacher says, "and started yelling at me
that I had emotionally upset her child."


--
Dorothy



No but I have a major school rant. I hope this doesn't offend any

teacher
types. This occurred today.

The school my dd goes to is lame on parents. They have stated that

overall
there is a few that parents will complain or not be supportive. They

are
just afraid to engage parents. They need help. They really need

help in
the classroom and in other areas like the playground. I can

understand why
they overall fear parents. Some of the stuff cited here in posts.

Some
parents can be tough. But here I am and there are a few other

parents as
well who are really wanting to help. Really great parents. WE are

begging
them to let us help out. (Someone on the school board had the nerve

to say
to my face that there are no parents who want to volunteer. At the

time I
thought maybe I was in the minority but I am by and far not. Several

of us
are practically begging and very proactive to be involved in our

childrens
education)

So anyhow finally last week I get a call to come and work with a

student in
2nd grade. He is one of the youngest 2nd graders and while he is

smart he
lacks the attention span at times to keep up. With 25 students in

the class
the teacher had trouble staying with him and taking care of all the

other
students during a lesson. So finally she asked for help. Principal

calls
me (and there are a few other parents involved as well for other

days) to
come by on friday for an hour and shadow him during the math section

which
is his hardest time of the day. So I go and I know two other parents

as
well did too. It is reported to me that this student did better this

last
week with us there just encouraging him to stay on task for 1 hour.

Today I get a call. Don't come again. Although it is helping the

student
I'm sorry but your presence in the classroom is bothering the new

student
teacher who states she can't teach while you are there because other

adults
in the classroom make her nervous. The other two parents got the

same
call.

Personally I find this absolutely ridiculous.

Anni


Yes, that is ridiculous. And I am a teacher type (well, child of
teachers-turned-administrators, very pro-public education, all my mom's
siblings are teachers, my brother's a teacher, etc, etc).

Relatives of mine pulled their son out of grade 2 three weeks before
x-mas, because they felt the school system had failed him/them.
Apparently, his kindergarten, grade 1, and grade 2 teachers, and
principal, all had insurmountable shortcomings (no two the same,
though) - IIRC, the grade 1 teacher "did not command his respect."
Clearly it was the school's fault that he was frequently in trouble and
getting unsatisfactory reports. So now they're homeschooling. Scarily,
this kid was socially a nightmare before starting public school, and
just at the end of grade 1 and beginning of grade 2, I had started
thinking, "wow, the boy's really made progress. He's actually pretty
functional these days."

I'm not against homeschooling, at all, just against this couple in
particular doing it. Especially since the only normalizing social arena
he's encountered appears to be public school. I shudder to think what's
going to happen to him over the next few years, if they keep him at
home. OTOH, I bet there are a bunch of teachers and a principal who are
only too happy to see his parents' out the door. . .

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

  #6  
Old February 24th 05, 01:15 PM
Bruce Bridgman and Jeanne Yang
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Default


"toto" wrote in message
news
Any anecdotes?


I found that the parents just never stop and the children grow up into
adults who expect people to do things *for* them.

When I was in college, parents of a 16 year old genius (believe me, he
needed no advocacy on his behalf) came to complain about his grades in a
math class. Maybe because he wasn't the absolute standout in class? I
don't know. He certainly was not threatened with failure, or even a B.

In grad school, I had a mediocre student who thought 1) I would write a
glowing letter of recommendation beause - well, I don't know, maybe because
we were the same age? (I told him I couldn't); and 2) he would get into the
doctoral program after I (and two faculty members) told him he probably
didn't have a chance (I was also on the admissions committee). He honestly
thought he would get into a PhD program just because he was a good guy; his
lackluster grades and lack of focus were mere technicalities.

Jeanne


  #7  
Old February 24th 05, 01:26 PM
Kim E
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Mermaid" wrote in message
...

So anyhow finally last week I get a call to come and work with a
student in
2nd grade. He is one of the youngest 2nd graders and while he is
smart he
lacks the attention span at times to keep up. With 25 students
in the class
the teacher had trouble staying with him and taking care of all
the other
students during a lesson. So finally she asked for help.
Principal calls
me (and there are a few other parents involved as well for other
days) to
come by on friday for an hour and shadow him during the math
section which
is his hardest time of the day. So I go and I know two other
parents as
well did too. It is reported to me that this student did better
this last
week with us there just encouraging him to stay on task for 1
hour.

Today I get a call. Don't come again. Although it is helping
the student
I'm sorry but your presence in the classroom is bothering the new
student
teacher who states she can't teach while you are there because
other adults
in the classroom make her nervous. The other two parents got
the same
call.

Personally I find this absolutely ridiculous.


That's because it is ridiculous on several levels - 1.)Student
teachers get observed all the time, deal with it
2.) i can't believe the student teacher whined to the
administration about this 3.) I can't believe the administration
gave in to the whining at their admitted detriment to students

BTW, I was a teacher before becoming a SAHM last year, and welcomed
parents in my classroom anytime.

-kim


  #8  
Old February 24th 05, 01:36 PM
Hillary Israeli
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Posts: n/a
Default

*toto wrote:
*
*Any anecdotes?

A friend of mine teaches in a "good" school district in PA (which has
produced such notables as Reggie Jackson, Dr. Michael Brown, and the
Netanyahu brothers, not to mention ME ) but she still has problem
parents. In particular, she has been horrified on more than one occasion
to find notes in students' charts that teachers are NOT allowed to call
parents to notify them of students' bad behavior or failure, because
previous such calls have been temporally associated with subsequent
prolonged absence of the student, or subsequent unexplained injury to the
student!!!

--
Hillary Israeli, VMD
Lafayette Hill/PA/USA/Earth
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is
too dark to read." --Groucho Marx



  #9  
Old February 24th 05, 03:22 PM
Ilse Witch
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Default

On Wed, 23 Feb 2005 21:20:24 -0600, toto wrote:

Any anecdotes?


We're not in that stage yet, but I really enjoyed the article. I had never
thought of things very much, and it gave me a lot to think about. I'll
definitely safe it for future reference.

--
-- I
mommy to DS (July '02)
mommy to four tiny angels (28 Oct'03, 17 Feb'04, 20 May'04 & 28 Oct'04)
preggers with twins EDD August'05
guardian of DH (33)




  #10  
Old February 24th 05, 03:25 PM
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Default


The Ranger wrote:
toto wrote in message
news
Any anecdotes?


"Yeah? My child's not going to Harvard and is doing an hour in each
subject per day. He has six classes and three electives; you do the
math."


Okay, I don't want to say that it's legitimate to do your kid's
homework, but if you have six subjects, an hour of homework in each is
going to leave no time for anything in the child's life but schoolwork
and sleep.

Beth

 




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