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Help! Toddler left in car question



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 28th 05, 12:52 AM
nimue
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Posts: n/a
Default Help! Toddler left in car question

I was recently in Tucson with a friend of mine and we went to check on a
rental property she owns. Her 2 year old was in the car seat, napping, and
my friend left her there when we went to check the house. The windows were
all down (this thanks to me -- my friend thought you could leave the windows
up on a 70 degree day in Tucson! This is the kind of thing that worries me
about my friend.). We were in the house about 15-20 minutes. She never
went to check on the toddler and we could not see the car from the house
unless we were in the front room. We went all over the house and the back
yard. My husband went to check on the toddler during this time. My friend
did not know he did it. I felt VERY uncomfortable about the fact that my
friend left her kid in the car unattended and I mentioned it to her. She
dismissed my concerns, saying that it was a safe neighborhood and one she
was familiar with. She also said that she didn't like to wake up her
daughter from her nap because she was so tired. I do not have children. I
know that I would NEVER leave my baby (if I had one) alone in a car, but
maybe I am just paranoid -- maybe, since I don't have kids, I just don't
understand. What should I do? Should I mention it again, more forcefully
this time? Am I just being paranoid? I would like to hear from some
parents on this. As for the neighborhood -- it's ok. It's not great and
not terrible -- just ok. Lord, I can tell you all that I am concerned about
my friendship with this woman right now because I feel as if I should
mention this again way more forcibly, but I would like some advice first.
Thanks.

--
nimue

"If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater
influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF."
Joss Whedon

"There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and complete
bitches."
Dawn French


  #2  
Old February 28th 05, 01:13 AM
toypup
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"nimue" wrote in message
...
daughter from her nap because she was so tired. I do not have children.
I
know that I would NEVER leave my baby (if I had one) alone in a car, but
maybe I am just paranoid -- maybe, since I don't have kids, I just don't
understand. What should I do? Should I mention it again, more forcefully
this time? Am I just being paranoid? I would like to hear from some
parents on this. As for the neighborhood -- it's ok. It's not great and
not terrible -- just ok. Lord, I can tell you all that I am concerned
about
my friendship with this woman right now because I feel as if I should
mention this again way more forcibly, but I would like some advice first.
Thanks.


I have children and I do not leave my kids in the car for more than a minute
out of my sight. There's a law against that here, thank goodness, and it
states exactly that. We can't leave our kids in the car alone out of our
sight for more than a minute, so I only do it long enough to walk literally
a few feet from the driveway to the door of the dcp and step in to sign one
child in or out. It only take a few seconds, but I lock the vehicle door
and I put the emergency brake on. I've had GP's on both sides and friends
suggest I leave on or both kids in the car on different occasions, but
that's not me. I have a fear that something terrible might happen and then
I couldn't forgive myself for not following my heart.


  #3  
Old February 28th 05, 04:25 AM
Billy bob
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Its takes one minute for someone to take your child. (yup less then that
even)
It takes 9 months to create a brother or sister. (and does not replace the
child stolen)
It takes many many many years, (even decades) getting over the fact you have
no idea where your child is, Or what happened to your child, or who ever
took your child.

Never ever do I leave a kid in a car. It would never happen to me. I have
heard to many cases of it happening. In fact was one here recently where
baby was dumped and it was lucky a passer by found it otherwise it would
have died.

Its againest the law in this state im living in, and also to you just dont
know who is really watching or following you.
I would suggest that she should be more careful. Maybe find out how many
cases have happened in the last year ?

Or you could be more forceful next time and if she refuses, you could then
shock her, (by being mean) and get another friend of yours to take baby
whilst she is inside looking at the houses. When she comes out, I bet you
one dollar she will panic and lose it !. (Unless of couse she doesn't really
care about the baby and is only using in a tug of war between her and her
ex)

BB

I know off topic but look at "I know my name is steven" or "the beaumont
children" both unlucky and in the wrong spot at the wrong time.


"nimue" wrote in message
...
I was recently in Tucson with a friend of mine and we went to check on a
rental property she owns. Her 2 year old was in the car seat, napping,

and
my friend left her there when we went to check the house. The windows

were
all down (this thanks to me -- my friend thought you could leave the

windows
up on a 70 degree day in Tucson! This is the kind of thing that worries

me
about my friend.). We were in the house about 15-20 minutes. She never
went to check on the toddler and we could not see the car from the house
unless we were in the front room. We went all over the house and the back
yard. My husband went to check on the toddler during this time. My

friend
did not know he did it. I felt VERY uncomfortable about the fact that my
friend left her kid in the car unattended and I mentioned it to her. She
dismissed my concerns, saying that it was a safe neighborhood and one she
was familiar with. She also said that she didn't like to wake up her
daughter from her nap because she was so tired. I do not have children.

I
know that I would NEVER leave my baby (if I had one) alone in a car, but
maybe I am just paranoid -- maybe, since I don't have kids, I just don't
understand. What should I do? Should I mention it again, more forcefully
this time? Am I just being paranoid? I would like to hear from some
parents on this. As for the neighborhood -- it's ok. It's not great and
not terrible -- just ok. Lord, I can tell you all that I am concerned

about
my friendship with this woman right now because I feel as if I should
mention this again way more forcibly, but I would like some advice first.
Thanks.

--
nimue

"If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater
influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF."
Joss Whedon

"There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and complete
bitches."
Dawn French




  #4  
Old February 28th 05, 04:39 AM
nimue
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Billy bob wrote:
Its takes one minute for someone to take your child. (yup less then
that even)
It takes 9 months to create a brother or sister. (and does not
replace the child stolen)
It takes many many many years, (even decades) getting over the fact
you have no idea where your child is, Or what happened to your child,
or who ever took your child.

Never ever do I leave a kid in a car. It would never happen to me. I
have heard to many cases of it happening. In fact was one here
recently where baby was dumped and it was lucky a passer by found it
otherwise it would have died.

Its againest the law in this state im living in,


What state is that? This happened in Arizona and I live in New York.

and also to you just
dont know who is really watching or following you.
I would suggest that she should be more careful. Maybe find out how
many cases have happened in the last year ?

Or you could be more forceful next time and if she refuses, you could
then shock her, (by being mean) and get another friend of yours to
take baby whilst she is inside looking at the houses.


No, no, I could never do that.

When she comes
out, I bet you one dollar she will panic and lose it !. (Unless of
couse she doesn't really care about the baby and is only using in a
tug of war between her and her ex)


Uh, creepy -- I didn't mention that she is divorced -- how did you know? I
think she does love her baby -- I just think she is UNBELIEVABLY naive --
she just assumes everything will be okay and constantly has these little
messes in her life that come from not making sure things are as they should
be.

BB

I know off topic but look at "I know my name is steven" or "the
beaumont children" both unlucky and in the wrong spot at the wrong
time.


"nimue" wrote in message
...
I was recently in Tucson with a friend of mine and we went to check
on a rental property she owns. Her 2 year old was in the car seat,
napping, and my friend left her there when we went to check the
house. The windows were all down (this thanks to me -- my friend
thought you could leave the windows up on a 70 degree day in Tucson!
This is the kind of thing that worries me about my friend.). We
were in the house about 15-20 minutes. She never went to check on
the toddler and we could not see the car from the house unless we
were in the front room. We went all over the house and the back
yard. My husband went to check on the toddler during this time. My
friend did not know he did it. I felt VERY uncomfortable about the
fact that my friend left her kid in the car unattended and I
mentioned it to her. She dismissed my concerns, saying that it was a
safe neighborhood and one she was familiar with. She also said that
she didn't like to wake up her daughter from her nap because she was
so tired. I do not have children. I know that I would NEVER leave
my baby (if I had one) alone in a car, but maybe I am just paranoid
-- maybe, since I don't have kids, I just don't understand. What
should I do? Should I mention it again, more forcefully this time?
Am I just being paranoid? I would like to hear from some parents on
this. As for the neighborhood -- it's ok. It's not great and not
terrible -- just ok. Lord, I can tell you all that I am concerned
about my friendship with this woman right now because I feel as if I
should mention this again way more forcibly, but I would like some
advice first. Thanks.

--
nimue

"If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater
influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF."
Joss Whedon

"There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and
complete bitches."
Dawn French


--
nimue

"If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater
influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF." Joss Whedon

"There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and complete
bitches." Dawn French


  #5  
Old February 28th 05, 05:59 AM
Nan
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

On Sun, 27 Feb 2005 23:52:16 GMT, "nimue"
scribbled:

I was recently in Tucson with a friend of mine and we went to check on a
rental property she owns. Her 2 year old was in the car seat, napping, and
my friend left her there when we went to check the house. The windows were
all down (this thanks to me -- my friend thought you could leave the windows
up on a 70 degree day in Tucson! This is the kind of thing that worries me
about my friend.). We were in the house about 15-20 minutes. She never
went to check on the toddler and we could not see the car from the house
unless we were in the front room. We went all over the house and the back
yard. My husband went to check on the toddler during this time. My friend
did not know he did it. I felt VERY uncomfortable about the fact that my
friend left her kid in the car unattended and I mentioned it to her. She
dismissed my concerns, saying that it was a safe neighborhood and one she
was familiar with. She also said that she didn't like to wake up her
daughter from her nap because she was so tired. I do not have children. I
know that I would NEVER leave my baby (if I had one) alone in a car, but
maybe I am just paranoid -- maybe, since I don't have kids, I just don't
understand. What should I do? Should I mention it again, more forcefully
this time? Am I just being paranoid? I would like to hear from some
parents on this. As for the neighborhood -- it's ok. It's not great and
not terrible -- just ok. Lord, I can tell you all that I am concerned about
my friendship with this woman right now because I feel as if I should
mention this again way more forcibly, but I would like some advice first.
Thanks.


Well, I think the most you can do is to voice your concern to her.
You could call your local PD and ask if there is a law against it, and
cite that if there is.
If you're present when she decides to leave the child in the car, you
can refuse to accompany her and tell her you'll wait with the child
until she returns... give her the idea that you feel it's serious
business.
Fwiw, I never leave either of my children in the car for any length of
time. If I have the infant when dropping the preschooler off at
school, I carry the baby in with me. I have opened our front door and
took my purse in while the baby is in the car, but it's parked less
than 5 feet from my front door.

Nan


  #6  
Old February 28th 05, 06:55 AM
kelbutt
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I would definitely talk to her about it. It's illegal in many
states--considered child endangerment or child neglect. She may be
unaware of how serious it is, but if she's reported, the consequences
could be severe. If she left the child in the car to check on a rental
property, (doesn't seem like an emergency reason) then she likely
leaves her in the car at other times. It's very worth the conversation,
no matter how uncomfortable.

k.

  #7  
Old February 28th 05, 07:19 AM
Melania
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


nimue wrote:
I was recently in Tucson with a friend of mine and we went to check

on a
rental property she owns. Her 2 year old was in the car seat,

napping, and
my friend left her there when we went to check the house. The

windows were
all down (this thanks to me -- my friend thought you could leave the

windows
up on a 70 degree day in Tucson! This is the kind of thing that

worries me
about my friend.). We were in the house about 15-20 minutes. She

never
went to check on the toddler and we could not see the car from the

house
unless we were in the front room. We went all over the house and the

back
yard. My husband went to check on the toddler during this time. My

friend
did not know he did it. I felt VERY uncomfortable about the fact

that my
friend left her kid in the car unattended and I mentioned it to her.

She
dismissed my concerns, saying that it was a safe neighborhood and one

she
was familiar with. She also said that she didn't like to wake up her
daughter from her nap because she was so tired. I do not have

children. I
know that I would NEVER leave my baby (if I had one) alone in a car,

but
maybe I am just paranoid -- maybe, since I don't have kids, I just

don't
understand. What should I do? Should I mention it again, more

forcefully
this time? Am I just being paranoid? I would like to hear from some
parents on this. As for the neighborhood -- it's ok. It's not great

and
not terrible -- just ok. Lord, I can tell you all that I am

concerned about
my friendship with this woman right now because I feel as if I should
mention this again way more forcibly, but I would like some advice

first.
Thanks.

--
nimue

"If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater
influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF."
Joss Whedon

"There are two types of women -- those who like chocolate and

complete
bitches."
Dawn French


Whoa. I would talk to her about it. We don't own a car and only drive
when visiting family, but if ds falls asleep in the car at naptime and
we don't want to wake him, one of us will stay with him till he wakes
up (we'll either catch a few zzzs or read a book/magazine). We've often
timed long drives to coincide with a nap and had him still be sleeping
upon arrival. Out in the country (I mean, really in the country, not in
a small town) I wouldn't worry about him being abducted, but I worry
about him being safe/comfortable (esp. with regard to temperature
issues), and I don't want him to wake up strapped into a carseat and
all alone.

If you are out with more than one adult and you really don't want to
wake the child, someone might stay with her. Or you could postpone
whatever you need to do and drive around, park in the shade with a
drink and just chat, or something.

Melania
Mom to Joffre (Jan 11, 2003)
and #2 (edd May 21, 2005)

  #8  
Old February 28th 05, 10:22 AM
P. Tierney
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"nimue" wrote in message
...
I was recently in Tucson with a friend of mine and we went to check on a
rental property she owns. Her 2 year old was in the car seat, napping,
and
my friend left her there when we went to check the house. The windows
were
all down (this thanks to me -- my friend thought you could leave the
windows
up on a 70 degree day in Tucson! This is the kind of thing that worries
me
about my friend.). We were in the house about 15-20 minutes. She never
went to check on the toddler and we could not see the car from the house
unless we were in the front room. We went all over the house and the back
yard. My husband went to check on the toddler during this time. My
friend
did not know he did it. I felt VERY uncomfortable about the fact that my
friend left her kid in the car unattended and I mentioned it to her. She
dismissed my concerns, saying that it was a safe neighborhood and one she
was familiar with. She also said that she didn't like to wake up her
daughter from her nap because she was so tired. I do not have children.
I
know that I would NEVER leave my baby (if I had one) alone in a car, but
maybe I am just paranoid -- maybe, since I don't have kids, I just don't
understand. What should I do? Should I mention it again, more forcefully
this time?


I don't think it's necessary to be confrontational. If you were in the
exact same situation (away from the car from 15 minutes), then I'd
just say, "You go ahead and check the property. I prefer to wait outside,
as I'm uncomfortable in leaving a child alone in an open car for so long."
Cite news stories or something, if needed, to explain your

In such a case, you aren't telling what the other parent to do, but you
are accomplishing the necessary task (keeping an eye on the child) yourself.
So all is well. And the parent doesn't need a lecture anyway, as that's
usually a waste of time. Adults, like their kids, learn better by example.

As for the other posts, I agree with the one minute standard as making
sense. I wouldn't wake a child to run inside the bakery to grab a loaf
of bread, or go up to the counter to pay for my gas. In both cases,
I can see the car pretty much at all times.


P.
Tierney


  #9  
Old February 28th 05, 04:40 PM
Hillary Israeli
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Posts: n/a
Default

In ,
nimue wrote:

*I was recently in Tucson with a friend of mine and we went to check on a
*rental property she owns. Her 2 year old was in the car seat, napping, and
*my friend left her there when we went to check the house. The windows were

http://www.azcapa.org/capa/pressmain4.html - this explains some reasons
why it is stupid to leave kids in the car alone

http://nrc.uchsc.edu/STATES/AZ/az_3.htm - this one states that it is
illegal for a family care provider to leave a child unattended in a
vehicle

i can't find any site containing any rules regarding parents leaving their
own kids in the car specifically, but I imagine this would fall into the
child endangerment statutes...

--
Hillary Israeli, VMD
Lafayette Hill/PA/USA/Earth
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is
too dark to read." --Groucho Marx



  #10  
Old February 28th 05, 06:22 PM
toypup
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Billy bob" billybob@bobshome wrote in message
u...
Its takes one minute for someone to take your child. (yup less then that
even)


I think there are a lot of situations reported where the child was
unintentionally taken by a car thief. You know, the child was in the back
seat and the thief didn't know it.


 




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