A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » misc.kids » General
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

kids and their furniture?



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #601  
Old February 13th 06, 12:03 AM posted to misc.kids
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default kids and their furniture?

dragonlady ) writes:
In article ,
Banty wrote:

Do folks truly not see any middle ground between smash-and-crash and up on a
shelf pristine in boxes like Madam Alexander dolls?? This is the fallacy of
false dichotomy. It's some of why I object to this idea that 'precious'
stuff
should be hidden away (so that even the owner can't enjoy them!), else it's
fair game for whatever use strikes someone else. There's a huge and livable
middle ground of using things decently, such that they're not ruined can can
continue to be used. Indeed, it's necessary to recognize that to ever be
able
to have nice things happen - to enjoy things, and enjoy them for a length of
time. Hide-and-hoard or smash-and-trash doesn't allow for that.

Banty


I agree with this entirely.

My question is how to know when something that *I* put
play-with-in-a-normal way is in someone else's
"play-with-very-carefully" category.


I agree too, but my question is different. Obviously,
I can find out whether something is in a handle-carefully
category by asking about how it should be handled.
My question is: how can I realize when there's
something like that that needs to be asked about?

Or to put it another way: I don't think it's reasonable
to expect all people at all times to make this
realization when they should.

Sitting on a couch changes its state. Walking on
the floor changes its state. I think people would
think it was silly to ask about these things.

I have, at times, assumed that metal is very
durable and that it doesn't change when thrown.
I now realize that that isn't true, especially
when one considers the paint. However, some
people might well believe that throwing a metal
car into a toybox doesn't change the car in
any detectable way. They would be wrong about that;
but lots of people believe lots of things that
aren't true.
  #602  
Old February 13th 06, 12:08 AM posted to misc.kids
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default kids and their furniture?

Ericka Kammerer ) writes:
Watch. Observe the condition of the items. Ask.
When in doubt, err on the side of caution. It may not be
perfect, but it'll do the trick the vast majority of the
time.


Ah. That sounds very sensible to me.

People are not perfect.
  #603  
Old February 13th 06, 12:12 AM posted to misc.kids
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default kids and their furniture?

Nan ) writes:
On Mon, 06 Feb 2006 11:14:06 -0500, Ericka Kammerer
wrote:
It seems to me that it's much more polite, not
to mention much more likely to keep you out of trouble,
if the default rule is to treat things belonging to others
as *they* wish them to be treated. At that point, the
tricky bit is figuring out how the others might want
them to be treated, and since we're not mindreaders,
that is an imperfect science. But at a minimum, it's
a very simple rule that works almost all of the time
that you shouldn't engage in any behavior that might
permanently change the condition of an object without
asking the owner first.


And I think that is asking a bit much for children to try and
determine.

Nan



I don't think that's asking too much at all. It's
rather simple: just ask the owner how they want
their stuff treated. "Is it OK if I play with
your lego? Is it OK if I take this apart?"
Of course, it's a learning process. There will
be many "first times", likely even as an adult,
when one didn't ask because some possibility didn't
occur to one. But if the goal is to treat the
stuff as the owner wants it treated, one will
learn; whereas if one is only expected to
treat it as one treats one's own, one might
tell the owner, "No, it's OK, I'm allowed
to do this, because this is how I use my own
toys." Which would be quite wrong.
  #604  
Old February 13th 06, 12:16 AM posted to misc.kids
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default kids and their furniture?

Banty ) writes:
In article ,
dragonlady says...
My question is how to know when something that *I* put
play-with-in-a-normal way is in someone else's
"play-with-very-carefully" category.


Those should not be two different categories.

Note your bias: "normal" isn't "careful".

Banty


Ooh! Good point.

Maybe cheap second-hand furniture needs to be
treated with lots of care, to prevent it from falling
apart, for example.
  #605  
Old February 13th 06, 01:17 AM posted to misc.kids
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default kids and their furniture?

Catherine Woodgold wrote:
Ericka Kammerer ) writes:

Again, a red herring. It's very simple to figure out.
The pristine basketball full of signatures doesn't get bounced,
because bouncing would change its state. The scuffed basketball
that has clearly seen use can be bounced with no problem. The
brand new looking basketball with no signs of wear and tear,
you ask the owner if it's okay to play with.
I don't get why this is complicated.



Oh, no! You mean, before I bounce a ball at someone
else's house, I have to either check to make sure it's
already dirty, or ask? I wouldn't have known that.
I'm not sure I'd follow that guideline even now.
I wouldn't want to look silly for asking a "stupid
question".


Someone wanted to know how you'd know whether
to ask a question. I think it's not that complicated.
You want to separate the "normal" basketballs from
the "special" basketballs. How can you do that with
a reasonable degree of accuracy? Basketballs that
have signatures or look like they haven't been played
with are much more likely candidates for special
handling than basketballs that look like they've
actually been used to shoot hoops. Since the vast
majority of basketballs you encounter at someone
else's house are likely to look played with, and
most of the rest of the time the host will have
made some clear indication of intent, you'll be
left with a very small percentage of time that
you'll encounter an unused-looking basketball
with no other clues as to use. It's extremely
unlikely to burden you or annoy your host if
you ask for clarification that tiny percentage
of the time.

What if the floor is clean?


Don't track mud on it ;-)

Best wishes,
Ericka
  #606  
Old February 13th 06, 07:21 AM posted to misc.kids
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default kids and their furniture?

In article , Banty
wrote:

My tea is made in a teapot with proper Irish teabags


Some of us use *leaf*.

withdraws hem of garment and leaves with nose in air


"Leaf"?? Is your garment tie-die?


Not that kind of leaf! Leaf *tea*! :-)

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"... if *I* was buying a baby I'd jolly well make sure it was at
least a two-tooth!"
Mary Grant Bruce, The Houses of the Eagle.
 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:52 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.