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Question for religious parents



 
 
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  #11  
Old February 20th 06, 05:33 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default Question for religious parents

"toto" wrote in message
...
Most religious folks I know don't generally bring up religion
with others who are not of their own faith. Most children who are
religious don't tell other kids they are going to hell either.


I have had, over the years, several strangers come to me and my children in
the grocery store, or a restaurant, and just start talking about Jesus and
if I went to church. This happened just a few weeks ago, actually, in
Walmart. An elderly man came to say what cute kids I have and then started
telling me he hopes I have them in church and he just went on and on about
it. When I first meet people, one of the first questions is where I go to
church. When I answer nowhere, Oh how shocked the people look and just can't
get over that I don't BELIEVE. There have been several times strange
children at the park, on finding out my kids don't go to church, have told
them they are going to hell. You people who are saying it's not common- you
are so lucky. My family couldn't even join a homeschool group in my area b/c
they required a signed statement of faith. We drive an hour to get to our
group (which is worth the drive, it's a wonderful group, but I do wish it
were closer). Christian groups try to ban movies and tv series. (brokeback
mountain was banned here but we went to another city to see it, and book of
daniel was cancelled on NBC) It's something you just can not avoid here.
Marie


  #13  
Old February 20th 06, 05:39 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default Question for religious parents


Barbara wrote:
SNIP
I tend to stay away from the bible thumpers,
because I'd rather not be told that I'm going to hell, or my kids need to be
in church.

SNIP

And this would differ from religious people who would prefer that their
children not play with non-religious people ... exactly how?

Barbara


Non-religious people aren't going to tell you how wrong you are for
your beliefs and are not going to try to cram *their* beliefs down your
throat. One is an aggressive stance (proselytization) the other is a
passive stance.

-L.

  #14  
Old February 20th 06, 06:00 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default Question for religious parents

"-L." wrote in message
ups.com...

Barbara wrote:
SNIP
I tend to stay away from the bible thumpers,
because I'd rather not be told that I'm going to hell, or my kids need
to be
in church.

SNIP

And this would differ from religious people who would prefer that their
children not play with non-religious people ... exactly how?

Barbara


Non-religious people aren't going to tell you how wrong you are for
your beliefs and are not going to try to cram *their* beliefs down your
throat. One is an aggressive stance (proselytization) the other is a
passive stance.


There are definitely atheists who spout their belief
that you have to be intellectually inferior in order
to believe in God. Not *all* atheists of course,
just like not all Christians are "Bible thumpers."

I have a friend who is a born-again, extremely
conservative Christian. She bemoans the fact
that conservative Christians on TV are so often
portrayed as extremely judgmental, intolerant,
and hypocritical.

Bizby


  #15  
Old February 20th 06, 06:07 PM posted to misc.kids
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Posts: n/a
Default Question for religious parents

In article .com,
wrote:

Would you have a problem with your child being friends with an atheist,
or being friends with a child who's parents are atheists?

The reason I ask is that I am an atheist and I have a daughter who is
almost two and I live in a very religious area. Now that my daughter is
not really a baby anymore I am starting to think about these issues and
wondering if she is going to have trouble having friends.


I consider myself to be religious, but probably not in the way you are
concerned about.

When my kids were small, we lived in an area in Massachusetts that was
overwhelmingly Catholic. Ours is a minority faith that does not require
a belief in God. I did not run into many problems on my kids' behalf --
there were only a few people who kept their kids away from my "heathen"
children. (One of them being my brother, but he's a pretty extreme
case.) It was my experience that most of the folks who really want to
isolate their children from children of other faiths (or no faith) do so
in such a way that it didn't really affect my kids.

I find religious discussions fascinating, and don't avoid the topic (nor
do I bring it up at inappropriate times). I find that many deeply
religious people were willing to discuss their religion with me provided
I was the one asking questions of them -- and a few were even interested
in my beliefs. I don't think there were families that began to avoid us
when they discovered that we were not Christian, or that my beliefs
about the divine put me in the "atheist" category as far as they were
concerned. (It isn't a term I use for myself.)

As an aside, it was helpful for my kids to belong to a faith community
(Unitarian Universalist) where they were exposed to adults with all
kinds of beliefs about God, including atheists, agnostics, theists,
pantheists, polytheists, and just about any other "god" language one
could imagine. I think it gave them a strong foundation for when they
WERE approaced by those who believed my kids and I are going to hell.
I'm not sure it would have been as important here in California, but by
the time we moved here we had other reasons for wanting to continue to
belong to a UU community. So if you live somewhere where your beliefs
put you in a distinct minority, you might look around for others of a
like mind (or whose larger group includes at least some of a like mind)
to give your kids a "safe haven", and a place to discuss how to handle
"those" conversations, which will most likely come up as your kids get
older.

--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care
  #16  
Old February 20th 06, 06:11 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default Question for religious parents

-L. wrote:


Non-religious people aren't going to tell you how wrong you are for
your beliefs and are not going to try to cram *their* beliefs down your
throat. One is an aggressive stance (proselytization) the other is a
passive stance.


Um. I submit that if you have actually met any atheists like that,
you're pretty sheltered, because I have.

Michelle
Flutist
  #17  
Old February 20th 06, 06:42 PM posted to misc.kids
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Default Question for religious parents

To give a bit more information about my particular situation:

I have a father who is very mormon and who is very bullheaded about it.

I have a grandfather-in-law who is very catholic and is very bullheaded
about it.

I have a father-in-law who is very protestant and is very bullheaded
about it and has already warned us several times that we might be going
to hell.

We are very quiet and private about the way we look at these things.
Even when invited into conversations about religion we tend to politely
avoid it. I think we've been traumatized by the 3 people mentioned
above. We have no interest in making anyone atheist and we have no
interest in people forcing us to see thier side of religion.

We are live and let live kind of people. The community we live in has
tons of religious people who are very vocal about it. (I'm not going to
say what religion because that will drag this into a debate about this
or that religion and I'm trying to avoid that because it's not the
point.)

We were going to homeschool our daughter but we decided we wanted to
expose her to the kind of community we live in because we really don't
have any plans of ever moving. We love this area a lot and we are
willing to take the good with the bad.

It is true that there are atheists that are very bold and forceful
about it, but from what I've seen that is few and far between. The key
is that most atheists don't think that a person is going to be damned
for eternity for practicing a religion.

One other thing I've noticed, religious types tend band together when
they find out someone they love is an atheist. My father and FIL never
had any kind words to say about the other when it comes to religion.
But soon as we showed signs of being non religious they had all kinds
of nice concessions to make for the other person. I found that strange.

  #18  
Old February 20th 06, 07:33 PM posted to misc.kids
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Posts: n/a
Default Question for religious parents

On Mon, 20 Feb 2006 11:33:12 -0500, "Marie"
wrote:

"toto" wrote in message
.. .
Most religious folks I know don't generally bring up religion
with others who are not of their own faith. Most children who are
religious don't tell other kids they are going to hell either.


I have had, over the years, several strangers come to me and my children in
the grocery store, or a restaurant, and just start talking about Jesus and
if I went to church. This happened just a few weeks ago, actually, in
Walmart. An elderly man came to say what cute kids I have and then started
telling me he hopes I have them in church and he just went on and on about
it. When I first meet people, one of the first questions is where I go to
church. When I answer nowhere, Oh how shocked the people look and just can't
get over that I don't BELIEVE. There have been several times strange
children at the park, on finding out my kids don't go to church, have told
them they are going to hell. You people who are saying it's not common- you
are so lucky. My family couldn't even join a homeschool group in my area b/c
they required a signed statement of faith. We drive an hour to get to our
group (which is worth the drive, it's a wonderful group, but I do wish it
were closer). Christian groups try to ban movies and tv series. (brokeback
mountain was banned here but we went to another city to see it, and book of
daniel was cancelled on NBC) It's something you just can not avoid here.
Marie

I only recently moved to the South and I hope that I never have that
experience. It was certainly not common in Chicago despite the fact
that there were plenty of Southern Baptists around. There were people
who preached on the street corners, but they were pretty easy to
avoid. I have actually seen less of those in New Orleans than I did
in Chicago.

I have never had anyone come up and start talking about Jesus to me in
the grocery store or mall stores here (but I have only been here about
a year).


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits
  #19  
Old February 20th 06, 07:49 PM posted to misc.kids
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Posts: n/a
Default Question for religious parents

On Mon, 20 Feb 2006 18:33:56 GMT, toto wrote:
On Mon, 20 Feb 2006 11:33:12 -0500, "Marie"
wrote:

"toto" wrote in message
. ..
Most religious folks I know don't generally bring up religion
with others who are not of their own faith. Most children who are
religious don't tell other kids they are going to hell either.


I have had, over the years, several strangers come to me and my children in
the grocery store, or a restaurant, and just start talking about Jesus and
if I went to church. This happened just a few weeks ago, actually, in
Walmart. An elderly man came to say what cute kids I have and then started
telling me he hopes I have them in church and he just went on and on about
it. When I first meet people, one of the first questions is where I go to
church. When I answer nowhere, Oh how shocked the people look and just can't
get over that I don't BELIEVE. There have been several times strange
children at the park, on finding out my kids don't go to church, have told
them they are going to hell. You people who are saying it's not common- you
are so lucky. My family couldn't even join a homeschool group in my area b/c
they required a signed statement of faith. We drive an hour to get to our
group (which is worth the drive, it's a wonderful group, but I do wish it
were closer). Christian groups try to ban movies and tv series. (brokeback
mountain was banned here but we went to another city to see it, and book of
daniel was cancelled on NBC) It's something you just can not avoid here.
Marie

I only recently moved to the South and I hope that I never have that
experience. It was certainly not common in Chicago despite the fact
that there were plenty of Southern Baptists around. There were people
who preached on the street corners, but they were pretty easy to
avoid. I have actually seen less of those in New Orleans than I did
in Chicago.

I have never had anyone come up and start talking about Jesus to me in
the grocery store or mall stores here (but I have only been here about
a year).


I travel fairly frequently to the South ( Tennessee and NC, mostly ),
and I don't think there's been a single trip in which I haven't had
someone bring up religion. The last time I was in Nashville, I stopped
to get a haircut before meeting with a client, and the *first* thing
the woman asked was, "And have you found Jesus?"

Unfortunately, the standard rejoiner of "Yes, he's been hiding behind
the living room couch all this time! Can you believe that little devil?"
didn't seem appropriate when dealing with someone holding sharp scissors. ;-)

But even in areas with lots of Yankee immigrants, like the RTP area,
it seems like small talk with the merest aquaintance gets around to
religion very, very quickly.

- Rich


  #20  
Old February 20th 06, 07:50 PM posted to misc.kids
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Posts: n/a
Default Question for religious parents

In article ,
toto wrote:

I only recently moved to the South and I hope that I never have that
experience. It was certainly not common in Chicago despite the fact
that there were plenty of Southern Baptists around. There were people
who preached on the street corners, but they were pretty easy to
avoid. I have actually seen less of those in New Orleans than I did
in Chicago.

I have never had anyone come up and start talking about Jesus to me in
the grocery store or mall stores here (but I have only been here about
a year).


I've had people do it even here in California -- generally, they waylay
you at the store entrances with leaflets. (I've also had people selling
Jesus door to door almost everywhere I've lived.)

So I'm pretty amazed, wherever you've lived, that you've never
encountered it!

(Confession: back in my youth I was a fundamentalist who did that sort
of prostelytizing at county fairs and such. I'm always polite -- but
never engage these folks in ANY conversation beyond, "I'm not
interested, thank you.")

--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care
 




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