Wednesday Depression (Rant)

Yes I know it's Thursday but my server wasn't playing ball yesterday.

Wednesdays depress me cos I go along to a b/f support group where lots of
mums get together and chat about stuff - no sleep, not enough milk, waking
through the night etc. Like a live mkb but nothing like a live mkb. A
midwife is in attendance and contributes nothing but smiles.

The rant bit is that all the mums are desperate to get to 16 weeks to start
bunging solids into their little offspring - 'Oh he/she woke twice in the
night last night so they're *definitely* ready for solids' !!???!!! Some
are even cramming it in at 12 weeks 'cos he's so big'. AND NOTHING IS SAID
by the midwife. My voice is a lonely one and they look at me as if I'm mad.

Second rant - lil tiny 3 n 4 week olds' mums are saying 'I obviously haven't
got enough milk cos they just want to feed all the time so I just bunged a
bottle of formula in their gob and they just drank another 4oz so I
*obviously* was short on supply.' One was even advising another mum to do
this to see if her baby would take the formula to 'test' if she had enough
milk. AND NOTHING IS SAID by the midwife. I tried hard not to scream but
they just don't want to hear that there are times like these and it's
normal.

Why oh why is the health service around here not adopting the new guidelines
for starting solids - HVs are using the same reasons as in rant 1 to get
babies onto solids and still using the 16 week mark. It seems that no-one
is even gently trying to move things forward. In previous generations they
didn't know the risks but today there is so much research and evidence. Can
these babies sue for malpractise when they're old enough to realise how
their health may have been compromised?

As I've said elsewhere, I'm training to be a b/f counsellor but sometimes I
feel that I'm swimming upstream and I might get swept away and my voice
drowned in the big ocean. I feel helpless.

Why can't everyone be as well informed or, at least, as prepared to listen,
evaluate and, if necessary, adapt as the folk on mkb. Thank goodness I
found you :-)

Rant over. Thanks for listening.

--Alison

"Alison" o.uk wrote

As I've said elsewhere, I'm training to be a b/f counsellor but sometimes
I
feel that I'm swimming upstream and I might get swept away and my voice
drowned in the big ocean. I feel helpless.
Good luck and I hope u can stick to it. I was studying to become a
Dietician, but I was so depressed by the ignorance and resistance to change
that I gave up.

"Richard" wrote in message
...
Nina wrote:
: [ . . . ]
: Good luck and I hope u can stick to it. I was studying to become a
: Dietician, but I was so depressed by the ignorance and resistance to
change
: that I gave up.

But we need you!

*sigh* I know. For the past few years I just worked with my husband's diet,
he's a bodybuilder. Its hard because the people who NEED you the most seem
to listen the least.


We have a regularly scheduled yoga class at work, emphasizing relaxation
through stretching. One of my colleagues passed on the class one
day saying he couldn't attend because he was feeling too stiff.

Hello??

LOL

Nina wrote:

"Alison" o.uk wrote

As I've said elsewhere, I'm training to be a b/f counsellor but sometimes
I
feel that I'm swimming upstream and I might get swept away and my voice
drowned in the big ocean. I feel helpless.
Good luck and I hope u can stick to it. I was studying to become a
Dietician, but I was so depressed by the ignorance and resistance to change
that I gave up.

No no no...I need you too!! Trying to work out a balanced diet for P is
sooooo hard, esp when he seems to spit out a bunch of things (beef,
fish...).

I agree that it's hard to deal with...well, morons, but you go for the
folk who *are* wanting to change, do better, etc.

But I can see how that would be tough...I'd be on the verge of going
postal.
--
'Tis Herself

"Alison" o.uk wrote in message ...
Yes I know it's Thursday but my server wasn't playing ball yesterday.

Wednesdays depress me cos I go along to a b/f support group where lots of
mums get together and chat about stuff - no sleep, not enough milk, waking
through the night etc. Like a live mkb but nothing like a live mkb. A
midwife is in attendance and contributes nothing but smiles.

The rant bit is that all the mums are desperate to get to 16 weeks to start
bunging solids into their little offspring - 'Oh he/she woke twice in the
night last night so they're *definitely* ready for solids' !!???!!! Some
are even cramming it in at 12 weeks 'cos he's so big'. AND NOTHING IS SAID
by the midwife. My voice is a lonely one and they look at me as if I'm mad.

Second rant - lil tiny 3 n 4 week olds' mums are saying 'I obviously haven't
got enough milk cos they just want to feed all the time so I just bunged a
bottle of formula in their gob and they just drank another 4oz so I
*obviously* was short on supply.' One was even advising another mum to do
this to see if her baby would take the formula to 'test' if she had enough
milk. AND NOTHING IS SAID by the midwife. I tried hard not to scream but
they just don't want to hear that there are times like these and it's
normal.

Why oh why is the health service around here not adopting the new guidelines
for starting solids - HVs are using the same reasons as in rant 1 to get
babies onto solids and still using the 16 week mark. It seems that no-one
is even gently trying to move things forward. In previous generations they
didn't know the risks but today there is so much research and evidence. Can
these babies sue for malpractise when they're old enough to realise how
their health may have been compromised?

As I've said elsewhere, I'm training to be a b/f counsellor but sometimes I
feel that I'm swimming upstream and I might get swept away and my voice
drowned in the big ocean. I feel helpless.

Why can't everyone be as well informed or, at least, as prepared to listen,
evaluate and, if necessary, adapt as the folk on mkb. Thank goodness I
found you :-)

Rant over. Thanks for listening.

--Alison

complain about the midwife - loudly!

teapot

"Alison" wrote

Why can't everyone be as well informed or, at least, as prepared to
listen,
evaluate and, if necessary, adapt as the folk on mkb. Thank goodness I
found you :-)

Something I have noticed, is that there are PLENTY of people like your
midwife and those moms who visit mkb. They don't want to hear what these
knowledgable people have to say, and they go elsewhere within about three
posts, or they do listen with an open mind and soon become part of the
community. Sometimes mkb is a bit terse (not unfriendly, but sometimes it's
taken that way) when we see a personality that isn't receptive to help
coming. So, there might be some moms in that group who know that these moms
are wrong, but just don't want to hassle themselves knocking their heads
against a brick wall. Sometimes we can see a brick wall coming. Look at
how small, in reality, this ng is compared to mkp or mk. It's a special
kind of person who is as passionate about doing right by their child as this
group, and as outspoken. This is kind of a "safe" place with lots of backup
for the gung-ho breastfeeder.

Some moms breastfeeding comes easy to, and they also might never end up here
or at a bf support group at all. I've met a few moms who are like, "LLL?
What's that? The hospital has breastfeeding counsellors? Why? It's so
easy."

I have a friend who is a great breastfeeder, but totally against my grain in
other respects of parenting issues for (very) young infants. She is very
adamant that she won't spoil her child by holding him too much, or by taking
him to bed with her, or by holding him in the middle of the night. Her
husband was worried the other day about their 4 month old being restless in
(2 hours worth of) church, and wondering how to get him "less fidgety" and
more disciplined. She has an inkling that I disagree w/ her on some of
those things, but because I know she's a loving mom, and it takes all kind
of moms and kids in the world, I don't talk about the issue. I think they
are both scared their child will be like mine when he's older, because Ian
is really challenging sometimes. I think she blames it on my "lax"
parenting at the young ages. That's fine, I think it's more personality.
Ian is very bright and challenging and I'm sure him crying to sleep
wouldn't have changed that. I'm confident in my choices, so I don't fight
with her. All this is to say, some people just won't argue when they think
it's not a big deal. There may have been other moms at that group who
agreed w/ you, but didn't want to polarize themselves from their friends.

This has been on my mind a lot lately. Sometimes I think I ought to speak
up and fight w/ people, but I've been trying to remember that "fools despise
wisdom". If someone doesn't know enough to find out the facts themselves,
they are likely not to listen to you, anyway. Just let it run off your
back.

Teresa

"Teresa Chandler" wrote
I have a friend who is a great breastfeeder, but totally against my grain
in
other respects of parenting issues for (very) young infants. She is very
adamant that she won't spoil her child by holding him too much, or by
taking
him to bed with her, or by holding him in the middle of the night.

My SIL said she and her husband would give their baby her nighttime bottle
while she was in the crib, so she wouldnt expect to be held. That always
seemed incredibly hard to me. I cant imagine feeding a baby and not holding
it.

"Nina" wrote
My SIL said she and her husband would give their baby her nighttime bottle
while she was in the crib, so she wouldnt expect to be held. That always
seemed incredibly hard to me. I cant imagine feeding a baby and not
holding
it.

Not to mention dangerous. My DH has a cousin who never saw his first
birthday because he aspirated on formula from a bottle his mom sent him to
bed with. This is one case where I would speak up, because that is so
dangerous.

Teresa

Teresa Chandler wrote:
"Nina" wrote

My SIL said she and her husband would give their baby her nighttime bottle
while she was in the crib, so she wouldnt expect to be held. That always
seemed incredibly hard to me. I cant imagine feeding a baby and not

holding

it.


Not to mention dangerous. My DH has a cousin who never saw his first
birthday because he aspirated on formula from a bottle his mom sent him to
bed with. This is one case where I would speak up, because that is so
dangerous.

Teresa



I thought Nina meant the parents were right there, feeding the baby with
the bottle, but not holding the baby. I don't know that that's
particularly dangerous (although I think it can increase the risk of ear
infections) - the parent should be able to tell right away if there's a
problem - but it seems pointless to me. If you're going to be there
anyway, why not hold the baby?

Clisby

"Teresa Chandler" wrote in message
...
"Nina" wrote
My SIL said she and her husband would give their baby her nighttime
bottle
while she was in the crib, so she wouldnt expect to be held. That always
seemed incredibly hard to me. I cant imagine feeding a baby and not
holding
it.

Not to mention dangerous. My DH has a cousin who never saw his first
birthday because he aspirated on formula from a bottle his mom sent him to
bed with. This is one case where I would speak up, because that is so
dangerous.

No, they HELD the bottle. They'd stand over the crib and feed her the bottle
then go to sleep. Damn people, just pick the baby up and feed her. (she's 9
now, btw)