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deliriously tired...please help!



 
 
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  #1  
Old January 1st 06, 04:44 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default deliriously tired...please help!


"oregonchick" wrote in message
...
Please tell me this will start to get better soon. I'm not looking for a
miracle of 8 hrs of sleep, just a slight improvement!


Let someone else handle the dogs, and keep yelling at your husband when he
does dope things like go off skiing when you haven't had any sleep. Right
now, your four goals are to shower, eat, sleep and nurse. Let someone else
handle anything outside that.

And yes, it'll start getting better soon.

Jess


  #2  
Old January 1st 06, 05:34 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default deliriously tired...please help!

Thanks to all of you who have dangled the carrot of hope in front of me to
keep feeding breastmilk through cracked nipples, mastitis and thrush.
Things seem to be healing up now.

Right now, my biggest issue is sleep deprivation. I mean, I'm so tired I'm
getting loopy and emotional. I broke down and yelled at my husband for
leaving to go skiing this morning after a particularly sleepless night. I
was mean, and then I bawled my head off. I feel just awful now. Emily is 3
wks old, so I know this is to be expected, but she feeds every 1 1/2 - 2
hrs. I hardly fall asleep before she is needing to be fed again. Everyone
is going back to school and work this week, and I'll be alone with the baby
for the first time since she was born. I'm a little afraid and feeling
overwhelmed.

I need some more hope! If she would just go 3 or 4 hrs between feedings, I
think I'd be ok, but this is almost more than I can take. The accumulating
exhaustion is wearing me down. What is the best way to cope? I also have 2
dogs that are very demanding, and between all the "kids" I feel like there
is nothing left of me but a zombie who hardly is able to shower or brush my
teeth before 11am every day. I look in the mirror and feel sad that I look
so terrible. It's not even the weight gain or stretch marks that bother me,
it's the dark circles and haggard look in my face....

I get up in the morning and wander around my messy house, wondering where to
start. Things look like they are slowly unraveling without my attention.
My husband can only do so much! He's tired too...

Please tell me this will start to get better soon. I'm not looking for a
miracle of 8 hrs of sleep, just a slight improvement!

Betsy


  #3  
Old January 1st 06, 06:00 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default deliriously tired...please help!


"Jess" wrote in message
news:cFTtf.188$Dh.119@dukeread04...

"oregonchick" wrote in message
...
Please tell me this will start to get better soon. I'm not looking for a
miracle of 8 hrs of sleep, just a slight improvement!


Let someone else handle the dogs, and keep yelling at your husband when he
does dope things like go off skiing when you haven't had any sleep. Right
now, your four goals are to shower, eat, sleep and nurse. Let someone else
handle anything outside that.

And yes, it'll start getting better soon.

Jess


Thanks. I hate to cut my husband off from skiing. He is in ski patrol, and
has a commitment to be on the mountain at least 10 weekend days this winter.
He could quit the patrol, but I know it's something that he loves to do.
It's just a volunteer position, but I know that it means alot to him.
Still, right now it's hard on me. But I hate to be selfish! I just don't
know... I feel a little unbalanced right now - you know, with the hormones
and sleep issues!


  #4  
Old January 1st 06, 06:10 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default deliriously tired...please help!

oregonchick skrev:
"Jess" wrote in message
news:cFTtf.188$Dh.119@dukeread04...

"oregonchick" wrote in message
...

Please tell me this will start to get better soon. I'm not looking for a
miracle of 8 hrs of sleep, just a slight improvement!


Let someone else handle the dogs, and keep yelling at your husband when he
does dope things like go off skiing when you haven't had any sleep. Right
now, your four goals are to shower, eat, sleep and nurse. Let someone else
handle anything outside that.

And yes, it'll start getting better soon.

Jess



Thanks. I hate to cut my husband off from skiing. He is in ski patrol, and
has a commitment to be on the mountain at least 10 weekend days this winter.
He could quit the patrol, but I know it's something that he loves to do.
It's just a volunteer position, but I know that it means alot to him.
Still, right now it's hard on me. But I hate to be selfish! I just don't
know... I feel a little unbalanced right now - you know, with the hormones
and sleep issues!



Couldn't he stop for one winter and take it up next year again?

I used to love to weave. I had to pack my loom together - it took up too
much space when we had a small one.

Only last year did I start weaving again, and my daughter is 13 years old.

You make some sacrifices when you have kids, but life gets richer -
especially when those little *******s start to show a little love and
gratitude :-) Even my 13 yo can occationally say: You're the best mom in
the world. I could live without my loom for 12 years!

Tine, Denmark
  #5  
Old January 1st 06, 06:55 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default deliriously tired...please help!


"oregonchick" wrote in message
...
Thanks. I hate to cut my husband off from skiing. He is in ski patrol,
and has a commitment to be on the mountain at least 10 weekend days this
winter. He could quit the patrol, but I know it's something that he loves
to do. It's just a volunteer position, but I know that it means alot to
him. Still, right now it's hard on me. But I hate to be selfish! I just
don't know... I feel a little unbalanced right now - you know, with the
hormones and sleep issues!


Be selfish. Right now, you need to be. Ya'lls priority should be that
newborn and some sleep-not doing volunteer positions

And don't worry about the hormones-I remember that three week thing. I ended
up on a sobbing jag over not having croutons for a dinner salad one night.
It gets better.

Jess


  #6  
Old January 1st 06, 07:39 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default deliriously tired...please help!

(hugs)

What kept me going was the thought that I knew once DS did go longer
between feeds all the effort of getting through cracked, split nipples,
supply issue in one boob, hand expressing, nipple sheilds..would be
*so* worth it. It was very tempting to give up and turn to forumla but I
wasn't prepared to take the risk that it would upset his stomach, then we
would *never* get any sleep and I would have made life worse for him.
And I can be pretty stubborn . You are doing the very best there is for
you little one amd soon the rewards will come. IIRC things settled down
around 6 weeks. And he smiled then too. People told me it wouldn't get
better, just different, but in my experience none of the sleep issues we
are going through now are in any way comparable to the first 6 weeks. In
those first 6 weeks I was counting the days to get through it, but I did
and so will you. The best time of change was when he started to sleep
through his 8pmish feed so he went from 6.30/7-11, giving us the whole
evening to relax. This was about 3 months but I'm pretty sure there are
plenty of babies that do this much earlier.

And it is very scary when you are left alone with the baby, but actually
you will find yourself so occupied you probably won't have time to feel
worried, I didn't (well mostly). I would encourage you to talk to your
DH and other family membres about how you are feeling if you don't
already. I didn't do that enough so I think people thought I was doing
better than I was. No-one seemed to talk about how hard it was so I didn't
want people to think I was useless, but actually, after talks with some of
them later, more came out about how hard they found it too!.

As for the housework, once I could leave DS in his bouncy chair for 15-20
mins once a day I got a few things done. I also worked out what I could
get done in the time he was asleep (little horror now only naps for 45mins
max!) And make sure you eat! I was trying to eat healthily but the mw said
I needed calories (DS not up to birthweight/jaundice) so I could eat all
kinds of junk for a while. That made me feel better.

Hang on in there. I *really* thought it would never get better and I
couldn't see a what to get through it but, but it does and you do!.

Jeni



  #7  
Old January 1st 06, 08:18 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default deliriously tired...please help!


oregonchick wrote:

Right now, my biggest issue is sleep deprivation. I mean, I'm so tired I'm
getting loopy and emotional. I broke down and yelled at my husband for
leaving to go skiing this morning after a particularly sleepless night. I
was mean, and then I bawled my head off. I feel just awful now. Emily is 3
wks old, so I know this is to be expected, but she feeds every 1 1/2 - 2
hrs. I hardly fall asleep before she is needing to be fed again. Everyone
is going back to school and work this week, and I'll be alone with the baby
for the first time since she was born. I'm a little afraid and feeling
overwhelmed.


Oh, Betsy, I so could've written this at 3 weeks - in fact, I think I
probably did, but I'm too lazy to google it. This is so, so, so very
normal. Your body is still recovering from the birth, you're in a HUGE
transition period in your life, you're getting no sleep - of course you
feel miserable. I think your husband is an ass for skiing when you're
home with a 3 week old, ski patrol or not. He could drop it and pick
it up next year, as someone else suggested. You are so much more
important than his hobbies/volunteer work and you NEED him right now,
way more than they do. Look at it this way - there are other people
who can do ski patrol, but you've only got one husband.

I need some more hope! If she would just go 3 or 4 hrs between feedings, I
think I'd be ok, but this is almost more than I can take.


Is she noodling? I know that my daughter will nurse when she wakes up
for nutrition, then she'll noodle when she's ready for nap (using me as
a pacifier, not actually eating). Since I don't mind, that's what we
do. It really helped me, mentally, though when I learned the
difference between nursing and noodling. I went from feeling like I
was nursing all the damned time, to feeling like I was nursing half the
damned time, and noodling the other half of the damned time. I know it
doesn't sound like a big difference, but considering the supply issues
we had, it was an important distinction for us.

The accumulating
exhaustion is wearing me down. What is the best way to cope?


You just put one foot in front of the other until she's a little
bigger. Don't go anywhere, don't do anything that isn't critical. The
only things that are critical right now are your nutrition, her
nutrition, and sleep for both of you, so eat and sleep and don't feel
guilty over the floors or the laundry or the bathroom... Let someone
else do that. Hire it done, if you can.

Another way to cope is to have a friend bring over lunch from your
favorite restaurant. Good food and good company go a long way toward
making you feel better. Make sure it's a good friend, so she doesn't
mind that you're still in your PJs. You definitely want to seek the
company of other moms right now, because we understand, and seeing that
we're all still standing will give you hope that you'll survive this,
too. I've found my friendships with my non-mom girlfriends getting
weaker, because they just don't get it. My friendships with other
moms, though, have gotten a lot deeper. And I know that my non-moms
will catch up when they have kids.

I also have 2
dogs that are very demanding, and between all the "kids" I feel like there
is nothing left of me but a zombie who hardly is able to shower or brush my
teeth before 11am every day.


A few short months (weeks, even) ago, I felt the same way. If I wasn't
holding the baby, I was holding the cat (or sometimes the baby AND the
cat), or petting the dog, or scratching my husband's back, and I just
wanted to be left ALONE and have no one touching me for 10 seconds...
It gets better. Give the baby to someone else for 15 minutes and go
take a nice, long, hot shower or bath. You deserve it. It'll perk you
up, and give you some "me" time. Even if she cries the whole time, 15
minutes won't hurt her.

I look in the mirror and feel sad that I look
so terrible. It's not even the weight gain or stretch marks that bother me,
it's the dark circles and haggard look in my face....


Oh, God, you should see the video of me from when we brought the baby
home. I was a mess, and DH wasn't much better. We look at it now and
wonder how we survived - it's a miracle that we didn't fall asleep at
the wheel while driving to a doctor's appointment, or burn the house
down because we were too tired to remember to turn off the stove. It
only lasts a few more weeks, and then you'll start to forget.
Seriously. That's how we go on to have more than one kid!

I get up in the morning and wander around my messy house, wondering where to
start.


Thou shalt not start!!! Leave it alone! It is NOT important. Use
paper plates and plastic cups and silverware, the landfill can take it.
Eat as much takeout as you can afford. Ask friends to bring you food.
Beyond food and sleep and staring at that baby, nothing else matters
right now.

Things look like they are slowly unraveling without my attention.
My husband can only do so much! He's tired too...


He's not too tired to ski, now, is he? Call him, tell him to get his
sorry butt home, and put him to work on the laundry. Seriously. He
helped make this family and this home with you, he can help take care
of both (and by family, I mean the baby and YOU, not just the baby).

Please tell me this will start to get better soon. I'm not looking for a
miracle of 8 hrs of sleep, just a slight improvement!


It really started to get better for us at 8 weeks. At 12 weeks I was
starting to feel sane again. At 16 weeks I hosted Thanksgiving for my
family and it was fine. At 20 weeks I started thinking, "Maybe she
won't be an only child..." Between 16 and 20 weeks I managed to get
all the Christmas prep done, including making metric boatloads of
cookies. That's not too far off, and it goes so fast.

I want you go take a nap. Take the baby to bed with you, let her nurse
or noodle or whatever, and shut your eyes. Don't get up for at least 3
hours. Even if you don't sleep, your body needs the rest. Do not
clean. The queen is not coming for tea, and anyone who loves you
enough to be at your house today is going to be very forgiving about
the state of your cleaning. It's fine. Your sanity is so much more
important.

My baby's awake now. You go rest. It'll be ok soon. It gets easier
every day.

Hugs,
Amy

  #8  
Old January 1st 06, 08:25 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default deliriously tired...please help!

Stuff the housework, who cares if the place is a tip when you've got a
newborn? It's a myth that new mothers have immaculate houses, those that do
have others that do the housework for them. I was so tired feeding my son
at about 4 weeks that we hired a cleaner to come in a couple of hours a week
and do the essentials until I was getting more rest.

It WILL get better. My son woke 3 times a night until 10 weeks, but between
3 and 10 weeks got more efficient at feeding and better at going back to
sleep, so the wakening times dropped from an hour each time to 15 minutes.
Morag

"oregonchick" wrote in message
...
Thanks to all of you who have dangled the carrot of hope in front of me to
keep feeding breastmilk through cracked nipples, mastitis and thrush.
Things seem to be healing up now.

Right now, my biggest issue is sleep deprivation. I mean, I'm so tired
I'm getting loopy and emotional. I broke down and yelled at my husband
for leaving to go skiing this morning after a particularly sleepless
night. I was mean, and then I bawled my head off. I feel just awful now.
Emily is 3 wks old, so I know this is to be expected, but she feeds every
1 1/2 - 2 hrs. I hardly fall asleep before she is needing to be fed
again. Everyone is going back to school and work this week, and I'll be
alone with the baby for the first time since she was born. I'm a little
afraid and feeling overwhelmed.

I need some more hope! If she would just go 3 or 4 hrs between feedings,
I think I'd be ok, but this is almost more than I can take. The
accumulating exhaustion is wearing me down. What is the best way to cope?
I also have 2 dogs that are very demanding, and between all the "kids" I
feel like there is nothing left of me but a zombie who hardly is able to
shower or brush my teeth before 11am every day. I look in the mirror and
feel sad that I look so terrible. It's not even the weight gain or
stretch marks that bother me, it's the dark circles and haggard look in my
face....

I get up in the morning and wander around my messy house, wondering where
to start. Things look like they are slowly unraveling without my
attention. My husband can only do so much! He's tired too...

Please tell me this will start to get better soon. I'm not looking for a
miracle of 8 hrs of sleep, just a slight improvement!

Betsy



  #9  
Old January 1st 06, 08:54 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Posts: n/a
Default deliriously tired...please help!

In ,
oregonchick wrote:

*Thanks to all of you who have dangled the carrot of hope in front of me to
*keep feeding breastmilk through cracked nipples, mastitis and thrush.
*Things seem to be healing up now.

That's great! And you're way ahead of me (from my first lactation, I
mean - it took a long time for me to heal up unfortunately)

*Right now, my biggest issue is sleep deprivation. I mean, I'm so tired I'm
*getting loopy and emotional. I broke down and yelled at my husband for
*leaving to go skiing this morning after a particularly sleepless night. I
*was mean, and then I bawled my head off. I feel just awful now. Emily is 3
*wks old, so I know this is to be expected, but she feeds every 1 1/2 - 2

Just for what it's worth, the two formula feeding moms I know personally
both behaved that way too


--
Hillary Israeli, VMD
Lafayette Hill/PA/USA/Earth
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is
too dark to read." --Groucho Marx



  #10  
Old January 1st 06, 09:03 PM posted to misc.kids.breastfeeding
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Default deliriously tired...please help!

oregonchick writes:

Thanks to all of you who have dangled the carrot of hope in front of me
to keep feeding breastmilk through cracked nipples, mastitis and thrush.
Things seem to be healing up now.


Good! That in itself will probably help you feel better able to cope soon.

Right now, my biggest issue is sleep deprivation. I mean, I'm so tired
I'm getting loopy and emotional. I broke down and yelled at my husband
for leaving to go skiing this morning after a particularly sleepless
night.


Reasonable thing to do, in my book - yelling at him, not going off skiing!
At 3 weeks postpartum, I had my mother staying with me, and I felt as
though I needed the support - and I didn't have dogs to deal with, either.
I know plenty of people have to cope on their own, but that doesn't mean
it's supposed to be easy.

What is the best way to cope?


You'll have heard "sleep when the baby sleeps". It's not so helpful IME,
but part of it is - don't feel you have to aim to be showered and
toothbrushed by 11am, in the sense of needing to because you ought. I mean,
you probably feel better if you get a shower and a toothbrush or two in
somewhere over the course of the day! But if you spend all day in your
pyjamas (or you change from one pair into another instead of into clothes!)
that is perfectly OK at this stage, and might make it easier to be in the
midset of grabbing sleep when you can, not only during "nighttime".

My son did many months of hourly wakings at night. What made the difference
between coping and not for me was that around 6am, my husband took over for
an hour or two or sometimes blissfully three, to let me get some
uninterrupted sleep on my own. Could yours do that?

I also have 2 dogs that are very demanding


I don't have any practical ideas about that, not being a dog person. I
suppose they need to be walked, is that the main thiing? Can someone else
do it?

I get up in the morning and wander around my messy house, wondering
where to start. Things look like they are slowly unraveling without my
attention.


Well, they probably are a bit, but I'm sure it looks worse than it is, and
you *will* be able to sort it out later!

My husband can only do so much! He's tired too...


Yeah, but not as tired as you are. It is good to be alert to how he's
feeling, but don't feel you can't ask him to do what you need him to do,
even if that's giving up his own leisure time entirely at the moment. You
said 10 ski days per winter, right? In a month from now, it'll be a lot
easier for you to cope without him - but even so, if this is on top of a
full time job, it's not something I'd be happy with, if I were in your
shoes.

Please tell me this will start to get better soon. I'm not looking for a
miracle of 8 hrs of sleep, just a slight improvement!


It will start to get better soon. In that, you will start to find ways of
working with it, and will feel better in yourself. I'm not promising that
gaps between feeds of more than 1.5-2 hours will happen soon; they may or
may not, but either way, it will start to feel easier!

Sidheag
DS Colin Oct 27 2003



 




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