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NOPUNISH.NET-PARENTING WITHOUT PUNISHING
http://www.nopunish.net
Dear Susan - Congratulations on your new website. It's certainly going to boost the fine work you've been doing in the struggle to eliminate hitting children. As you know I support your efforts, my having worked in this field for many years. My book "Parenting Without Punishing" you can read on my website www.nopunish.net . From the first chapter I emphasize that the essence of my message is the Golden Rule, and we all need to be serious about the teachings of Jesus, just as you say on your website. I think it important that we examine the question: Didn't Jesus teach NO punishment of children? To think of Jesus spanking a child is an outrage, of course, but can we imagine the gentle Jesus punishing at all? Is it not incumbent on us to create an approach to parenting that does away with all kinds of punishment entirely? And see that teaching can be done not by talking, but by Being? That discipline is learned only by example, by seeing self-discipline modeled? That was my aim 40 years ago when my two sons were infants. We, together, developed what I now call the New Non-Punitive Parenting Paradigm. You can read about it on my website. Also find there my petition, my resolution, STEP UP to Stop the Hitting. In it I resolve to interfere in instances of children being spanked, shaken, etc., and to accept whatever consequences result from that action. I wrote this 18 months ago for the local paper, which refused to print it, so I emailed it to all my friends. To my astonishment, 198 courageous people from around the world have thus far signed it. How's that for encouragement? I wish you similar success with your petition. We need more Christians taking a stand protesting all violence against children. My hope and wish is that they will also realize that punishment is not discipline, and families are happier when non-punitive methods of parenting are used. As I'm sure the Prince of Peace intended. That is what my Parenting Without Punshing about. I just returned from Murray Straus' 8th International Conference on Family Violence in Portsmouth, NH, where presenters from 20 countries shared the results of their work. The highlight came when Dr. Straus invited us all to a party at his earth berm home in the woods. I was privileged to have him to myself for a little time, when I told him how I felt when his "Beating the Devil Out of Them" was published. I had worked for years alone, not a soul agreeing with my views on parenting, and scoffed by my faculty colleages, my neighbors, and even my relatives. I told him of the enormous boost to my spirits he, unknowingly, gave me at a critical time in my lonely work. I wish you had been to this wonderful conference, Susan. You'd have loved it. My Netscape will not connect me to sign your Petition. Will you add my name to it? And you are invited to sign my STEP to Stop the Hitting resolution. - Norm Lee |
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