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#1
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Spanking works....
.....and is claimed because the user doesn't know and try means of child
rearing. What else could they say? Hoever, there is no shortage of information on how to raise a child without frightening them: [[[ Interesting little flip-show on this page...something to think about. ]]] http://www.stopspanking.com/ |
#2
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Spanking works....
"Swedish parents now discipline their children; and in doing so, they rely on a variety of alternatives to physical punishment. The method most commonly used is _verbal_conflict_resolution_, which invites parents as well as children to express their anger in words. Parents insist that discussions involve constant eye contact, even if this means taking firm hold of young children to engage their attention. Parents and professionals agree that discussions may escalate into yelling, or that yelling may be a necessary trigger for discussion. Still, many point out that while yelling may be humiliating, it is better than ignoring the problem or containing the anger, and it is usually less humiliating than physical punishment." It is better to yell at your kid - just call it "verbal conflict resolution"! ;-) Doan On 25 Oct 2005 wrote: ....and is claimed because the user doesn't know and try means of child rearing. What else could they say? Hoever, there is no shortage of information on how to raise a child without frightening them: [[[ Interesting little flip-show on this page...something to think about. ]]] http://www.stopspanking.com/ |
#3
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Spanking works....
Useful Links for understanding and using positive discipline methods. NO punitive methods need be used at all. No hitting, slapping, humiliating, screaming....just parenting gently. Global Initiative logo POSITIVE DISCIPLINE Web resources for parents and teachers on discipline without corporal punishment: N-W Last modified: 28/2/04 A - C | E - M | N | P | R | S | U | W National Association for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect www.napcan.org.au This Australian Association has produced a number of resources for parents, available on the website, including: o Children and discipline. Available at http://www.napcan.org.au/Information..._families.html. o Use words that help not hurt. Available at http://www.napcan.org.au/Information..._children.html. o 30 ways to boost a child's confidence. Available at http://www.napcan.org.au/Information..._children.html. o Alternatives to hitting children - or any other kind of punishment. Available at http://www.napcan.org.au/Information..._families.html. o It's not OK to shake babies. Available at http://www.napcan.org.au/Information..._families.html. National Family and Parenting Institute www.nfpi.org The NFPI is an independent charity supporting parents in bringing up children without using corporal punishment, promoting the wellbeing of families, and campaigning for a more family friendly society. The organisation conducts regular surveys on aspects of parenting and family life in the UK, and runs e-parents (see above). Resources include: o Understanding discipline - A summary: An overview of child discipline practices and their implications for family support - summary of a 2001 report on the effectiveness of a variety of disciplinary methods used in bringing up children, including physical punishment. While not outrightly condemning smacking, it notes the growing interest among parents for alternative ways of disciplining children, and the evidence for links between physical punishment, physical abuse, behaviour and emotional problems, and later mental health problems, and for the ineffectiveness of physical punishment on children's behaviour. It calls for national support for developing parenting skills and a public awareness campaign to promote positive parenting, where children learn through co-operation and rewards rather than conflict and punishment. Available at www.nfpi.org/data/publications/index.htm; full report (£10.00) available by telephoning 00 44 207424 3460. o The Millennial Family - 1999 MORI survey. Available at http://www.nfpi.org/data/research/do...nialfamily.doc. o Teenagers' Attitudes to Parenting: A survey of young people's experiences of being parented, and their views on how to bring up children - 2000 MORI survey. Available at www.nfpi.org/data/research/docs/teenagers.doc. o Listening to minority ethnic parents: their worries, their solutions - 2001 MORI survey. Available at www.nfpi.org/data/research/lis_min.htm. National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children www.nspcc.org.uk A UK organisation campaigning for non-violent approaches to parenting. In 2002, the NSPCC organised the UK's first ever large-scale public education campaign entitled "Hitting children must stop. FULL STOP", which included research into parents' views and experiences of corporal punishment and publications promoting positive discipline. The NSPCC also provides reports and resources for teachers and has produced guidance for professionals on positive discipline - Encouraging Positive Discipline, priced £1.50. Resources freely available on the website include: o Toddler Tips: for parents by parents - parents' tips for dealing with toddler behaviour, with NSPCC commentary. Available at http://www.nspcc.org.uk/html/Home/In...entscarers.htm. o Not Naughty but Normal - advice on bringing up toddlers with a focus on how challenging behaviour is a normal expression of their changing needs as they develop. Available at http://www.nspcc.org.uk/html/Home/In...entscarers.htm. o Encouraging Better Behaviour: A practical guide to positive parenting - launched in May 2002 as part of the nationwide campaign to end corporal punishment of children in the home. Available at http://www.nspcc.org.uk/html/Home/In...entscarers.htm. o Behave Yourself - a practical guide to encouraging better behaviour in children. Available at http://www.nspcc.org.uk/html/Home/In...entscarers.htm. o Listening to Children - how to communicate more effectively with children. Available at http://www.nspcc.org.uk/html/Home/In...entscarers.htm. Nationwide CAMPAIGN FOR A NON-VIOLENT Pedagogy www.usp.br/ip/laboratories/lacri/nonviolent.htm The SPANKING IS NON-EDUCATIONAL campaign in Brazil is based at the Institute of Psychology Child Studies Laboratory (LACRI) at the University of São Paulo and led by Dr Maria Amélia Azevedo and Dr Viviane Nogueira de Azevedo Guerra. Its aims include fighting all domestic violence against children, including corporal punishment, and creating a non-violent pedagogy in family upbringing. The website includes information on historical and empirical research, and an ongoing study course covering research, legal reform, and educational awareness. The Natural Child Project www.naturalchild.org The Natural Child Project ("all children behave as well as they are treated") contains many resources to support parents who choose attachment parenting and non-punitive ways to bring up children. It includes articles by Jan Hunt and others, and distributes a monthly e-newsletter. Articles are available in English and Portuguese. Articles include: o Sociopathic Parenting. Available at http://www.naturalchild.org/james_ki...parenting.html. o Tough Love. Available at www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/tough_love.html. o The Influence of Corporal Punishment on Crime. Available at http://www.naturalchild.org/research...unishment.html. o Canadian Study Links Spanking to Psychiatric Disorders. Available at http://www.naturalchild.org/research...ing_study.html. o The Relationships Between Feelings and Behaviour. Available at www.naturalchild.org/sidney_craig/feelings.html. o The Feelings of Children. Available at www.naturalchild.org/guest/virginia_coigney.html. o Hidden Messages. Available at www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/hidden.html. o The Fear of Being Permissive. Available at http://www.naturalchild.org/sidney_c...ermissive.html. Natural Parenting UK www.natural-parenting.com Parental discipline which has no place for hitting children is an important aspect of the alternative parenting promoted by this website. Articles include: o Ten recommendations for wise parenting. Available at www.natural-parenting.com/tenrec.html. o Hidden messages: What our words and actions are really telling our children. Available at www.natural-parenting.com/cas.html. New South Wales Centre for Parenting and Research www.parenting.nsw.gov.au This website provides a number of useful articles on disciplining without using physical punishment, including: o Positive discipline. Available at http://www.parenting.nsw.gov.au/publ...al.aspx?id=131. o Discipline: where do I start? Available at http://www.parenting.nsw.gov.au/publ...al.aspx?id=131. o Discipline for toddlers: getting a handle on toddler behaviour. Available at http://www.parenting.nsw.gov.au/publ...al.aspx?id=131. o You can't make me! Developing responsibility (in teenagers). Available at http://www.parenting.nsw.gov.au/publ...al.aspx?id=131. New South Wales Commission for Children and Young People www.kids.nsw.gov.au Information sheets available for parents include: o Listening to children. Available at www.kids.nsw.gov.au/info. o Raising children. Available at www.kids.nsw.gov.au/info. Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory www.nwrel.org As part of its School Improvement Research series, this US Laboratory has produced a research perspective on improving school and classroom discipline: o Schoolwide and classroom discipline. Reports on research findings identifying effective classroom- and school-level disciplinary practices, and recommends that corporal punishment be avoided. Available at www.nwrel.org/scpd/sirs/5/cu9.html. The No Spanking Page www.neverhitachild.org A list of links to positive non-punitive childrearing pages and references, with an introductory article by Murray A. Straus "Hitting a child is wrong and a child never, ever, under any circumstances should be hit". Parenting of Adolescents http://parentingteens.about.com This website provides a range of advice from parent Denise Witmer on positive discipline methods and articles on effective communication styles, aimed at parents of teenagers. Articles include: o What is discipline? Available at http://parentingteens.about.com/cs/d...scipline_p.htm. o The myth of the "bad kid". Available at http://parentingteens.about.com/cs/d...behavior_p.htm. Parenting without Punishing www.nopunish.net The website of Norm Lee, an active campaigner against corporal punishment. He has developed an approach to parenting which he calls the New Non-Punitive Parenting Paradigm (NN-PPP), based on the principles of respect for children as thinking and feeling human beings with full membership in the family and on Democratic Discipline. Resources include: o What can an observer do to stop the hitting? Available at www.nopunish.net/interven.htm. o Parenting without Punishing - book by Norm Lee outlining the New Non-Punitive Parenting Paradigm and Democratic Discipline. Available at www.nopunish.net/PWP.pdf. The Parent Training Center www.parenttrainingcenter.com A parent training organisation dedicated to the promotion of positive discipline. Provides training for parents (including single parents), teachers and childcare workers, and offers free web-based previews of the training sessions. PositiveDiscipline.com www.positivediscipline.com Jane Nelson is a speaker and writer on bringing up children without using corporal punishment. This website contains resources for teachers and parents based on her work, including: o What is positive discipline? Available at http://www.positivediscipline.com/Wh...PD_Article.pdf. o Positive discipline guidelines. Available at www.positivediscipline.com/articles/index.html. o 18 ways to avoid power struggles. Available at www.positivediscipline.com/articles/index.html. o How do you motivate a teen? Available at www.positivediscipline.com/articles/index.html. o Positive time out. Available at www.positivediscipline.com/articles_teacher/. o No more logical consequences. Available at www.positivediscipline.com/articles_teacher/. o Planting seeds of change through positive discipline. Available at http://www.positivediscipline.com/ar.../planting.html. o The spinoffs of positive discipline. Available at http://www.positivediscipline.com/ar.../spinoffs.html. Positive Discipline Resource Center http://joanneaz_2.tripod.com/positiv...nter/id14.html A Christian-based website with materials dealing with children's behaviour without using corporal punishment. It includes a useful section on recommended books and a number of articles, including: o Proactive and responsive discipline. Available at http://joanneaz_2.tripod.com/positiv...nter/id14.html. o A study of "The Rod" scriptures: do Christians have to spank? Available at http://joanneaz_2.tripod.com/positiv...nter/id14.html. Positive Parenting On-line www.positiveparenting.com This USA based website includes tips and articles on alternatives to corporal punishment for parents, teachers and other caregivers of children from toddlers to teenagers. Also a regular newsletter. Articles include: o Bedtime Without Struggling. Available at http://www.positiveparenting.com/res...ticle_012.html. o 9 Things to do Instead of Spanking. Available at http://www.positiveparenting.com/res...ticle_002.html. o Deciding to Spare the Rod. Available at http://www.positiveparenting.com/res...ticle_013.html. o Ten Keys to Successful Parenting. Available at http://www.positiveparenting.com/res...ticle_001.html. o Dealing with Power Struggles. Available at http://www.positiveparenting.com/res...ticle_003.html. Project NoSpank www.nospank.net This is the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education, run by Jordan Riak in the USA. Contains articles on all aspects of corporal punishment of children, with many documents available in English, French and Spanish. Also host Christians for Non-Violent Parenting (see above). Resources include: o Spanking teaches wrong lessons. Available at www.nospank.net/resnick.htm. o How children really react to control. Available at www.nospank.net/gordon2.htm. o Shame steps out of hiding and into sharper focus. Available at www.nospank.net/goleman3.htm. o Spanking as sexualised abuse. Available at www.nospank.net/donahue.htm. o Time to stop eleventh hour parenting. Available at www.nospank.net/whthrst.htm. o Effects of spanking - a brief summary. Available at www.nospank.net/killen.htm. o Mistaken approaches to night waking. Available at www.nospank.net/fleiss.htm. o The men they will become. Available at www.nospank.net/nberger2.htm. o An alternative to spanking? Available at www.nospank.net/altcp.htm. o A Christian perspective on corporal punishment. Available at www.nospank.net/popcak.htm. Raising Kids www.raisingkids.co.uk This UK-based website promotes non-punitive ways of disciplining children and includes advice from experts and tips from parents. Much of the advice is organised around age-related issues, and discussion of how to manage behaviour always includes the advice never to smack the child. Articles include: o Tantrum Taming Tips. Available at www.raisingkids.co.uk/1_4/tod_emo02.asp. o 1-4 Yrs: Bully Or Attention-Seeker? Available at www.raisingkids.co.uk/1_4/tod?hr06.asp. Save the Children UK www.savethechildren.org.uk Save the Children is the UK's leading international children's charity and produces a number of publications for parents and other childcarers about non-violent ways of managing children's behaviour. Resources include: o We Can Work It Out: Parenting With Confidence - a booklet promoting positive discipline based on good communication and the rights of children to express themselves, learn and develop, while parents also have the right to set limits on acceptable behaviour. The booklet outlines the principles of positive discipline, and includes examples of how to handle typical situations such as keeping babies safe from harm, teaching toddlers not to hurt each other, dealing with tantrums, and stopping siblings arguing with each other. It contains information on further resources, including books for children, and useful addresses. Available at http://www.savethechildren.org.uk/on...out/index.html. Also available as a training pack for parent groups and those who work with parents (£12.50) from . o An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everyone Blind - a training pack and parents' guide produced together with the National Early Years Network to help children develop non-violent ways of resolving disputes. Available (£10.00) from . o Let's Work Together: Managing children's behaviour - a training pack for those who work with other people's children explaining how to control challenging behaviour and reinforce positive behaviour without resorting to corporal punishment. Available (£12.50) from . UNICEF www.unicef.org Online guidance on child protection has been developed by UNICEF, which includes the development of proper classroom discipline, and other useful resources: o Child protection: discipline and violence. Available at www.unicef.org/teachers/protection/violence.htm. o Co-operative learning. Available at www.unicef.org/teachers/teacher/co-op.htm. o Beliefs about a constructive learning environment. Available at www.unicef.org/teachers/learner/beliefs.htm. o Interpersonal skills for learning. Available at www.unicef.org/teachers/learner/p_skills.htm. The Whole Family Attachment Parenting Association http://members.tripod.com/~JudyArnall/index.html Canadian website with information about attachment parenting, based on positive non-violent discipline, and links to other relevant sites. Please contact us if you have, or know of, materials available electronically: |
#5
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Spanking works....
Doan wrote: It is better to yell at your kid - just call it "verbal conflict resolution"! ;-) Better children through yelling. That is quite a national slogan born of frostbite on the brain. It really is going to be interesting to see how Sweden disengages itself from yet another venture into eugenics. Only a few decades ago, in its efforts to produce its own version of the master race, Sweden was a hotbed of forced sterilization. Now, it is better children through the grand social experiment of psychological smashmouth. |
#6
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Opinions wrote: Doan wrote: It is better to yell at your kid - just call it "verbal conflict resolution"! ;-) Better children through yelling. That is quite a national slogan born of frostbite on the brain. So who recommends yelling? It really is going to be interesting to see how Sweden disengages itself from yet another venture into eugenics. How is not hitting children an eugenics program? Only a few decades ago, in its efforts to produce its own version of the master race, Sweden was a hotbed of forced sterilization. http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9901/26/sweden.sterilization/ That's 20 year old news, Opinions. You remind me a bit of "Observer." Any relation? Yes, it was a shocking revelation that a nation would resort to such things. It was not the first, and likely not the last in a world where beating children is considered a form of teaching. And of course the official end of such a practice as forced sterilization a great relief and indication of the real spirit of Sweden's government and people that they ended this in the 70's with full admission of their guilt and error, and made what redress they could. Interestingly though, in the late 90's, as you'll see if you read the article linked above, 80% remained happy with THEIR OWN DECISION. In other words only a tiny minority were coerced. The rest willingly signed agreements to be sterilized. " ... The commission noted that 5 to 10 years after their operations, nearly 80 percent of those sterilized said they were happy with their condition and did not regret it. ... " How long do you wish to hold a people to blame when they have rehabilitated? And how does their turnaround on eugenics sterilization in fact relate to the spanking issue? (The US had exactly the same thing from time to time in various states.) In fact outlawing CP in Sweden represented a turnaround from one of the most harsh and punitive of parenting methods in Europe...possibly the world. They beat their children as thoroughly as Germans once did. Harshly, and sometimes to death. We turned around OUR eugenics practices. Possibly the next step is an end to CP, by legal sanctions against it. Some states are already moving firmly in that direction. Now, it is better children through the grand social experiment of psychological smashmouth. Well, I'd venture you do not understand the statement made. It didn't say yelling was as GOOD as, or suggest it over NON-punitive methods, just that it was better than BEATING ONE'S CHILDREN. I read in it a clear message that it wasn't much better. You failed to see that I take it? Let me parse the statement for you, and see if in fact it said what you appear to insinuate...that yelling is a good choice, and now universally the parenting method of Swedish parents: " Swedish parents now discipline their children; and in doing so, they rely on a variety of alternatives to physical punishment. ... [[[ Oh, "a variety." Do you surmise it to all be "yelling" based? ]]] .... The method most commonly used is _verbal_conflict_resolution_, which invites parents as well as children to express their anger in words. ... [[[ Note, this is ONLY on the subject of "anger." Parents, we presume, in Sweden as here and elsewhere in the world do a lot of interacting with their children to teach them that contain no anger at all. Fancy that. ]]] .... Parents insist that discussions involve constant eye contact, even if this means taking firm hold of young children to engage their attention. ... [[[ Personally I don't care for such things, but occasionally a child has been so previously poorly parented that this may well be non-punitivly done. ]]] .... Parents and professionals agree that discussions may escalate into yelling, or that yelling may be a necessary trigger for discussion. ... [[[ Notice that it's "may" "escalate," inviting you, the reader to consider that it may also not so escalate. More often than not it does no. And yelling was very likely a part of CP style parenting as well. ]]] .... Still, many point out that while yelling may be humiliating, it is better than ignoring the problem or containing the anger, and it is usually less humiliating than physical punishment." The question there would be who is saying what. Do the people that 'point out' the humiliation factor, also point out that it is less humiliating than physical punishment, or as I read the comma placement, do the AUTHORS make that statement to make clear that it's less humiliating? All in all, it's clear to me this is no pean to screaming dancing monkey parenting methods. I have been particularly amused by the claim that child abuse in fact when UP in Sweden immediately after the law came into effect. No, what happened was that what was previously acceptable child discipline ... including leaving injuries now was seen as abuse. As of course it is. The risks to the child's health and life are considerable. So of course, as in all OTHER new laws criminalizing a previously acceptable behavior, like raping one's wife, or working children for exploitation, the cases seen in court are going to increase. People don't stop a behavior the instant a law is passed. The claim, of course, by the advocates and apologists for spanking is that Swedish parents were being prosecuted for "spanking." Examination of the cases shows they were prosecuted for doing what they used to with immunity....beating and injuring. Child abuse laws, though they existed were NOT being enforced because of a national culture of violence against children. The law worked. Currently THIS is the kind of garbage that passes for "righteous" discipline. An insistence on doing injury to the child otherwise the discipline might not be effective: http://www.geocities.com/eingedi.geo/the-belt.html And consider, if parents, as I've cited in another post, up to 45% or so, and grandparents up to 60% do NOT understand normal developmental limitations of children, how the people at the site above will NOT use spanking even according to their OWN standards. I love that piece, "deliberately disobey." Good old "willful disobedience" and applied to children under 6, who cannot possibly grasp cause and effect reasoning. Kane |
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#8
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Spanking works....
Yelling at a child is one thing but sometimes a few swats on the bare
bottom gets the message acrossed. |
#9
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Spanking works....
DEBORAH wrote: Yelling at a child is one thing but sometimes a few swats on the bare bottom gets the message acrossed. What "one thing" is yelling? What message do a few swats get "acrossed?" [sic] Thanks, Kane |
#10
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Spanking works....
On 28 Oct 2005, DEBORAH wrote:
Yelling at a child is one thing but sometimes a few swats on the bare bottom gets the message acrossed. But anti-spanking zealotS recommend yelling over spanking. "Swedish parents now discipline their children; and in doing so, they rely on a variety of alternatives to physical punishment. The method most commonly used is _verbal_conflict_resolution_, which invites parents as well as children to express their anger in words. Parents insist that discussions involve constant eye contact, even if this means taking firm hold of young children to engage their attention. Parents and professionals agree that discussions may escalate into yelling, or that yelling may be a necessary trigger for discussion. Still, many point out that while yelling may be humiliating, it is better than ignoring the problem or containing the anger, and it is usually less humiliating than physical punishment." It is better to yell at your kid - just call it "verbal conflict resolution"! ;-) Doan |
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