Video games

Scrapcat wrote:

My 7 year old daughter has been asking for Gameboy for Christmas. My
nephews, 10 yrs old and 7 yrs old, both have Gameboy and Nintendo DS,
but they are playing the game all the time. Even when the family is
together for holiday, birthday or even just a get-together. I guess
it really depends on the parents control of the kids!!?? Can anyone
share your thoughts on this?

As with anything, moderation is key. Frankly, I think that
the hand held video games should be reserved for personal
quiet time, long car trips, and the ilk, and should not be
allowed to replace normal social interaction.

In certain settings, such as a family visit, I find it
borderline rude for a child (or young adult or adult, for
that matter) to be completely engrossed in a video game (or
a book or a computer) rather than interacting with company.
Not to say that they need to sit and be bored out of their
minds for endless hours of adult conversation, but when it
is a setting or activity inclusive of everyone, an effort
should be made to be sociable. At least for a time

I have friends who forbade the children ownership of
personal video games, even if purchased with their own
money, which doesn't appeal to me as I believe that just
makes them more desirable. My girls had Gameboys (and this
was quite a few years ago) but we were very clear on usage
before they entered our home.

It still does grates on me to see a child completely
encapsulated by their hand held game, while surrounded by
family and/or friends in a stimulating or engaging setting.
Probably about as much as it does to see people on their
cell phones going through a line at a store or coffee shop,
barely interrupting their conversation to give an order, or
check out...
--
Ruth

"Rosalie B." wrote in message
...
There was also a discussion recently - maybe even here - about
whether, when some people wanted to watch a TV program, would it be
rude for a person who was not interested in the program to read or do
needlework, or I suppose play games on a computer. My own take on
that is that a football game or some other program doesn't require
conversation, and if the person isn't interested in watching, it is
rude to require them not to do anything else but watch.


Thank you. We are going on an annual trip this month. The whole group
there always watch sports, which I find terribly boring. I'm sure they
think I'm rude, but I can't stand sports, so I do games on my pda in the
room while they are all watching.

toypup wrote:

"Rosalie B." wrote:

There was also a discussion recently - maybe even here - about
whether, when some people wanted to watch a TV program, would it be
rude for a person who was not interested in the program to read or do
needlework, or I suppose play games on a computer. My own take on
that is that a football game or some other program doesn't require
conversation, and if the person isn't interested in watching, it is
rude to require them not to do anything else but watch.

Thank you. We are going on an annual trip this month. The whole group
there always watch sports, which I find terribly boring. I'm sure they
think I'm rude, but I can't stand sports, so I do games on my pda in the
room while they are all watching.

My ex-husband, who watched sports incessantly, was
completely insulted if I read a book, worked on my comp, or
did some knitting or crocheting while sitting in the living
room during a game. He rarely initiated conversation, as he
was so focused on the competition and his anger and
annoyance never made any sense to me at all
--
Ruth

In article , Marie says...

"bizby40" wrote in message
m...
But these kids must not have, or else they wouldn't have been playing the
video game. The way I see it, if my kids have friends over, I expect them
to play together with little interaction with me. If I happen to be in
the same room for some reason, I don't feel that I need to get up and
leave, but neither do I feel like I have to join in. By the same token,
if I have a friend over, the two of us will sit and talk, and as long as
the kids aren't actively bugging us, I don't see that my friend's visit
should really have an impact on them.

Well it seems like hte OP was talking about Family Functions, not having
friends over.
Marie



Family Functions can be the worst, though, where certain things don't start
until Aunt XXX and Uncle YYY are over, then some of the littles are hungry from
the waiting so a little meal is made for them to eat, then Aunt XX and Uncle YYY
arrive but Aunt ZZZ had gone out to get some milk for the kids, so they have to
wait for her to get back.....

Banty

In article , Marie says...

"Banty" wrote in message
...
A "drag-along" hubby? Marriage partners' needs for socializing can
differ, too.

Yeah, he strongly resembles the stereotypical computer geek. The wife is
VERY outgoing, they are complete opposites.
Marie



So, maybe outgoing wife can undo that hitch she has that seemingly connects her
and hubby hip to hip and *then* go out...

Banty

On Thu, 2 Nov 2006 10:50:45 -0500, "Sue"
wrote:

"Marie" wrote in message
If there are kids involved, sure they will go play. But if there are
adults
they will have conversations with the adults. And in a family
get-together,
the family does things together, not lay around playing video games. My
children happen to enjoy their families. They both play with their
cousins,
AND talk to their grandparents, aunts and unclesotal hip arthroplasty

Mine too. I maintain that it is not rude for a kid to leave the adults and
go play with the others and if it involves a video game, so be it. The kid
should not be expected to remain with the adults the entire visit, unless
that was what the visit was for.

When I was younger we preferred to hang out in the basement with my
cousins and play table tennis and their ahem Atari game system....
now I've dated myself ;-)
But, I'd talk to the adults if the conversation was interesting.

Nan

In article , Nan says...

On Thu, 2 Nov 2006 10:50:45 -0500, "Sue"
wrote:

"Marie" wrote in message
If there are kids involved, sure they will go play. But if there are
adults
they will have conversations with the adults. And in a family
get-together,
the family does things together, not lay around playing video games. My
children happen to enjoy their families. They both play with their
cousins,
AND talk to their grandparents, aunts and unclesotal hip arthroplasty

Mine too. I maintain that it is not rude for a kid to leave the adults and
go play with the others and if it involves a video game, so be it. The kid
should not be expected to remain with the adults the entire visit, unless
that was what the visit was for.

When I was younger we preferred to hang out in the basement with my
cousins and play table tennis and their ahem Atari game system....
now I've dated myself ;-)
But, I'd talk to the adults if the conversation was interesting.

Nan



Hey - some of those are classics and still around!

I think there's a good middle ground with respect to the games and family
interaction. Mealtimes no (I hate to see it at the dinner table - I hate having
the TV on at dinner with company too - what's with that??) Some initial
greeting time. If there are kids similar in age, then really they should play
together.

As far as if a kid should sit in the same *room* and play, well, it depends.
I'm not sure which scenarios which people are talking about -

1. Sitting in the living room, adults talking, kiddies lined up on sofa playing
with Gameboys.

2. Everyone hanging out in the family room or rec room - Dad and Unc1e watching
the game, Unc1 and 17 year old cousin playing ping pong, Mom Aunt1 and Cousin2
talking, kiddies on futon and bean bag chairs with their gameboys.

I think there's a difference between having people present in a space that's
clearly being used for something, and they're bascially just parked there like
lumps on a log ignoring what people are doing, vs. being in an out of the way
space, or a space with lots of things going on while doing something like video
games.

But even in scenario number one - were the kids introduced to a rec room or
something where they can play? Or were they sat down on the couch in a formal
living room in their Sunday best clothes, expected to keep quiet while everyone
visits. I mean, what are they supposed to do?

Banty

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Nan says...

On Thu, 2 Nov 2006 10:50:45 -0500, "Sue"
wrote:

"Marie" wrote in message
If there are kids involved, sure they will go play. But if there are
adults
they will have conversations with the adults. And in a family
get-together,
the family does things together, not lay around playing video games. My
children happen to enjoy their families. They both play with their
cousins,
AND talk to their grandparents, aunts and unclesotal hip arthroplasty

Mine too. I maintain that it is not rude for a kid to leave the adults
and
go play with the others and if it involves a video game, so be it. The
kid
should not be expected to remain with the adults the entire visit, unless
that was what the visit was for.

When I was younger we preferred to hang out in the basement with my
cousins and play table tennis and their ahem Atari game system....
now I've dated myself ;-)
But, I'd talk to the adults if the conversation was interesting.

Nan



Hey - some of those are classics and still around!

I think there's a good middle ground with respect to the games and family
interaction. Mealtimes no (I hate to see it at the dinner table - I hate
having
the TV on at dinner with company too - what's with that??) Some initial
greeting time. If there are kids similar in age, then really they should
play
together.

As far as if a kid should sit in the same *room* and play, well, it
depends.
I'm not sure which scenarios which people are talking about -

1. Sitting in the living room, adults talking, kiddies lined up on sofa
playing
with Gameboys.

2. Everyone hanging out in the family room or rec room - Dad and Unc1e
watching
the game, Unc1 and 17 year old cousin playing ping pong, Mom Aunt1 and
Cousin2
talking, kiddies on futon and bean bag chairs with their gameboys.

I think there's a difference between having people present in a space
that's
clearly being used for something, and they're bascially just parked there
like
lumps on a log ignoring what people are doing, vs. being in an out of the
way
space, or a space with lots of things going on while doing something like
video
games.

But even in scenario number one - were the kids introduced to a rec room
or
something where they can play? Or were they sat down on the couch in a
formal
living room in their Sunday best clothes, expected to keep quiet while
everyone
visits. I mean, what are they supposed to do?

Or was the house like ours with only one living sort of room. We have a
lounge/diner, bedrooms (small and cramped) kitchen and bathrooms. We have
the rule that the computer doesn't go on when company is there unless the
children are playing a game with company.
Debbie

On 2 Nov 2006 09:53:38 -0800, Banty wrote:

Hey - some of those are classics and still around!

We've moved up to Super Nintendo for my 6 yo G

I think there's a good middle ground with respect to the games and family
interaction. Mealtimes no (I hate to see it at the dinner table - I hate having
the TV on at dinner with company too - what's with that??) Some initial
greeting time. If there are kids similar in age, then really they should play
together.

As far as if a kid should sit in the same *room* and play, well, it depends.
I'm not sure which scenarios which people are talking about -

1. Sitting in the living room, adults talking, kiddies lined up on sofa playing
with Gameboys.

Booooooooooooooring! For the kids, and annoying for the adults, imo.

2. Everyone hanging out in the family room or rec room - Dad and Unc1e watching
the game, Unc1 and 17 year old cousin playing ping pong, Mom Aunt1 and Cousin2
talking, kiddies on futon and bean bag chairs with their gameboys.

We'd do this after the meal had been eaten. We could carry dessert to
the rec room if we wanted, but everyone was at the table for dinner.

I think there's a difference between having people present in a space that's
clearly being used for something, and they're bascially just parked there like
lumps on a log ignoring what people are doing, vs. being in an out of the way
space, or a space with lots of things going on while doing something like video
games.

I'll admit we don't do the Family Thang. Haven't since my parents
passed away, and that was pre-Nintendo DS. By *many* years. So I
don't have a reference point to speak from, but I think I'd find kids
that have their noses attached to a video game the entire time to be
pretty rude. I would hate to see it at the dinner table, and I'd
expect the kids to at least force themselves to mingle with the family
before dinner, for a bit.

But even in scenario number one - were the kids introduced to a rec room or
something where they can play? Or were they sat down on the couch in a formal
living room in their Sunday best clothes, expected to keep quiet while everyone
visits. I mean, what are they supposed to do?

Chew off their arm.

Nan

Ruth Baltopoulos wrote:
Scrapcat wrote:

My 7 year old daughter has been asking for Gameboy for Christmas. My
nephews, 10 yrs old and 7 yrs old, both have Gameboy and Nintendo DS,
but they are playing the game all the time. Even when the family is
together for holiday, birthday or even just a get-together. I guess
it really depends on the parents control of the kids!!?? Can anyone
share your thoughts on this?

As with anything, moderation is key. Frankly, I think that the hand
held video games should be reserved for personal quiet time, long car
trips, and the ilk, and should not be allowed to replace normal social
interaction.

In certain settings, such as a family visit, I find it borderline rude
for a child (or young adult or adult, for that matter) to be completely
engrossed in a video game (or a book or a computer) rather than
interacting with company. Not to say that they need to sit and be bored
out of their minds for endless hours of adult conversation, but when it
is a setting or activity inclusive of everyone, an effort should be made
to be sociable. At least for a time

I think a lot of it depends on the adults. If the
adults are interested in and willing to converse with the
kids, then it's reasonable to expect them to interact. However,
I've noticed that a lot of adults have no interest in talking
to the kids and have no patience carrying on a conversation
with them. They don't allow the child much of any input
into the conversation, so it consists mostly of interrogating
the kid on a few items of interest to the adult, possibly
followed by a pseudo-lecture. Obviously, I don't really
expect a child to do very well with that conversation. Also,
some adults really want to talk with each other about stuff
of interest to them and pretty much ignore the kids after
a token exchange. Again, I wouldn't expect a child to sit
around bored to tears in that situation.
So, our rule of thumb is that if the adults are
actually going to have a conversation with the kids, then
the kids are expected to polish up their social skills and
join in (and the adults are expected to play nicely, too ;-) ).
If the adults are largely going to ignore them,
they're free to go off and do something else. For example,
we'll sometimes go to dinner with family friends and make
it a "double date": the adults get a table and converse
and the kids are at the next table and socialize amongst
themselves, possibly with games. On other occasions, we're
all out together and we all talk together. It just depends.
I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all solution. It's
a judgment call based on the circumstances.

Best wishes,
Ericka