(OT) THE ALMIGHTY EFF WORD

"Mattinglyfan" wrote in message
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"toypup" wrote in message
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"ziggyman" wrote in message
ble.rogers.com...
Spying or not.. he was still swearing in her house after she had told
him
not to. That deserves a punishment, and I think his parents deserve
to
know
what he was doing.

If he continued to spy after the game was taken away as punishment, then
yes. Otherwise, taking the game away was enough punishment.



No, the parents deserve to know, if they do not already, that this is how
he
behaves.



Exactly. Parents deserve to know everything about their child when they are
at such a young age. It's for the childs own good.

"ziggyman" wrote in message
ble.rogers.com...

Exactly. Parents deserve to know everything about their child when they
are
at such a young age. It's for the childs own good.

a parent can't know everything about an 11 y.o.

do you mean they should know as much as possible?
kylie
--
www.rdj.com.au

Yeah, stop pretending to be a girl, moron. That might get you places.

(daphne_bee) wrote in message . com...
My 11 yo nephew came over for the weekend and I gave him permission
to play on our XBox, provided he didn't play my hubbies "Mature" games
and he handle the discs with care (I gave him the quick lesson).

He was off and running and no time.

I came down to see how he was doing. I stood on the stairs and he was
playing Mech Assault, where you are in control of a robot warrior machine
and must destroy the enemy. No brainer. Of course, he didn't know I was
there watching.

As I was chuckling watching him play, he got blind-sided by his opponent
and blasted apart. As I cringed at the fatal blows, I was ovetaken as he
blurted out the words, "EFF YOU, MAN!" (he was more explicit), "THIS SUCKS!"

I immediately called out his name in disbelief and took him away from the
game. We had a talk about what he'd said and he aplogized and told me
he got frustrated.

Later, I allowed him back to the game. I explained I would not tolerate his
language. Off he went. My husband came home and I explained the
situation. He said he'd keep an "ear" out.

About a half hour later, my hubbie came up to me and told me he stood at
the top of the stairs and gave a listen. Our nephew had been blurting the
"eff" word over and over while playing.

My hubbie did not approach him, but came to me instead.

I repremanded my nephew and he's not allowed near the games.

My question is this:

Should I tell his parents about this?
Could this be potentially damaging to the kid?
Is this common amongst pre-teens?

We've got him until Sunday and I hate to make this into a big issue, but
at 11 years old, I'm concerned that his language is so sour.

PLEASE, any thoughts??

xo

db

"Hachibitto Suta" wrote in message
...


"Doctor Thomas B. Who" wrote:

It's very common amongst preteens. As a near-adult myself and brother
of a
social worker, I know from mine and others I know's experience that to
teenagers and surrounding ages, swearing is something that "makes you
feel
like a man". At this point in history, profanity is so commonly used in
society, it's almost an offense to the Constitution to block it. As
long as
it is controlled and does not get too severe, it's right to allow it if
not
only as an anger release

Why should it be controlled? Profanity is just a
bunch of words being taken out of context. Not
even that, they're only WORDS. What can words
do?

Oh, just start wars, cause one to enter deep depression, to the point of
taking one's own life. They can also be the source of comfort, motivation,
empowerment, joy, fear, hate, etc, etc.

So I guess, nothing important, right?

In case you don't hear the sarcasm...

Words can carry so much power, and pretty much have an affect on everything
(almost everything).

snip

We've got him until Sunday and I hate to make this into a big issue, but
at 11 years old, I'm concerned that his language is so sour.

PLEASE, any thoughts??


Your house, your rules, period. If the kid doesn't like it, tough. Let his
parents know. Better yet ask him if his parents are aware of his filthy
mouth, and if they are all working with him on his problem.

This is arguable as being any better, but what me and my son do (8 yrs) in
our house is use substitute phrases. For example, when the sharks in
Zelda:WW circle you around your boat and continually knock you out before
you can get any shots off (VERY ANNOYING), we find it very satisfying to be
able to shout something in our frustration. So we say stuff like (in all
seriousness), "What the hump!" or "Son of UUHHH!!!!!" or "Stay the hump
in the frikin boat you lame ASSprin peice of Shh-aving cream!"

And were literally fuming, but it feels so good to vent out the frustration.
And it doesn't nearly sound as vile as the _real_ words. Although if his
grandmother were to be ther visiting, I'm sure she would still cringe and be
offended. I, am actually offended by explitives. But the substitutes are
soooo useful, and don't offend me in my own house.

Maybe you could persuade your nephew to give it a try? Heck, maybe the kids
at his school would think him kind of novel and it might rubb off on them.

They can cast impressions on those around you. If you don't care what
people think of you, then cuss away.

Funnily enough, most of us are encouraged to not care what others
think of us, usually by the same people who discipline us for using
"bad words" ('What will people think of you??')

I swear frequently, because I know it ****es off the small minded
and judgmental, and I like to know who those people are well in
advance.


Sidetrack: what goes through people's heads these days? I can't
believe I just saw someone seriously ask if saying "****" could
damage a child.

"Sonnie B." wrote in message
om...

As for your alternate use of "what the hump?" or "keep your frickin'
ASSpirin in the boat" suggestion, I think maybe you could be actually
instilling a "tone" into your kid's language.

I mean, maybe now, he's using cute little substitution words like "heck"
or "fudge" but, once he gets keen on the the real phrase words or what
everyone else says, he'll be plugging in the real words easily because
that "tone" is already set in his brain.

i admit in advance i'm a bit of a swear bear when left to my own devices,
but truly, people who use silly euphemisms when they want to have a swear
just makes me nuts. i say go the whole hog or control your words - no point
being half-arsed about it & sounding twee!!
kylie
--
First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist so I did not
speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists, but I
was neither, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Jews, but I was
not a Jew so I did not speak out. And when they came for me, there was no
one left to speak out for me.
~ Martin Niemoeller

"Buckaroo Banzai" wrote in message
thlink.net...

Kids need boundries and parents aren't doing
them any favors by wanting to be their "buddies"


So true!

His mother (we're split 9 yrs ago)

For those of you who caught it--we were split "7" years ago. Sorry.

"Mike Saucedo" wrote in message ...
"Sonnie B." wrote in message
om...
"Mike Saucedo" wrote in message
...
snip

We've got him until Sunday and I hate to make this into a big issue,
but
at 11 years old, I'm concerned that his language is so sour.

PLEASE, any thoughts??


Your house, your rules, period. If the kid doesn't like it, tough. Let
his
parents know. Better yet ask him if his parents are aware of his filthy
mouth, and if they are all working with him on his problem.

This is arguable as being any better, but what me and my son do (8 yrs)
in
our house is use substitute phrases. For example, when the sharks in
Zelda:WW circle you around your boat and continually knock you out
before
you can get any shots off (VERY ANNOYING), we find it very satisfying to
be
able to shout something in our frustration. So we say stuff like (in
all
seriousness), "What the hump!" or "Son of UUHHH!!!!!" or "Stay the
hump
in the frikin boat you lame ASSprin peice of Shh-aving cream!"

And were literally fuming, but it feels so good to vent out the
frustration.
And it doesn't nearly sound as vile as the _real_ words. Although if
his
grandmother were to be ther visiting, I'm sure she would still cringe
and be
offended. I, am actually offended by explitives. But the substitutes
are
soooo useful, and don't offend me in my own house.

Maybe you could persuade your nephew to give it a try? Heck, maybe the
kids
at his school would think him kind of novel and it might rubb off on
them.


Well, I have to interject by saying that our nephew does not have a filthy
mouth nor is he a problem kid. He's a very athletic young man who shows
more respect to his grandma than most of my friends show to their wives.

When Daph told me what happened, I wasn't too worried about it.

When I heard him swearing later - which I've never heard this kid swear
in his entire life - I was pretty surprised, and I told her that we needed
to
probably pull him away from the game. She agreed.

He and I went out back and played guitars and never I brought up the
incident. He's a great kid who let some things slip out. No biggie.

I told his mom that he was heard using "some objectionable words"
to which she said, "we know, it's a new thing with him. We're watching
it -
closely!" She thanked me and agreed not to "press charges."

As for your alternate use of "what the hump?" or "keep your frickin'
ASSpirin in the boat" suggestion, I think maybe you could be actually
instilling a "tone" into your kid's language.

I mean, maybe now, he's using cute little substitution words like "heck"
or "fudge" but, once he gets keen on the the real phrase words or what
everyone else says, he'll be plugging in the real words easily because
that "tone" is already set in his brain.

No, no no. You got my boy all wrong. He's _already_ keen on the real
words, which is _why_ I showed him the substitutes. His mother (we're split
9 yrs ago) curses like a sailor. He's been keen on the real words since
birth. And it really offends him. He constantly tells his mom "Ooooh you
said a bad word." But, I think he agrees with me--these substitutes don't
nearly feel as bad when you say them, which is why he does. And I'm fine
with it--in my own house. Although, I do tell him, "respect those around
you, and don't talk like this in class. On the playground is okay."

Because you and I know, on the playground they're already hearing the real
words from 4th, 5th, and 6th graders. So, now maybe they'll hear the
substitutes from my 3rd grader and it'll rub off.


It's much easier to call someone an ASShole than an ASSpirin when they
just cut you off on the highway, you know?


Actually, I prefer the Nick Burns approach and say "Son of uhhh". That's
easier to me, and much nicer than finishing it off.

If it works, then it's a blessing. And if you're boy is keen already, then more
power to the lad! To be honest, just reading that you and the boy actually
play games together says much about your character. Sorry to hear about
the split. My friend went through it recently and they've got three kids...
ironically, his wife has three boyfriends. Ouch. ~ SB