"choosing" gifts for kids

Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Thanks.

Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

When people RSVP they usually ask what the child would like. I say then no
play-doh or whatever I don't like.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Thanks.

Sophie wrote:
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.


When people RSVP they usually ask what the child would like. I say then no
play-doh or whatever I don't like.



I've seen this suggestion a couple places. I never ask
the parent when I RSVP what gift the child wants -- I
usually ask DS or DD what the birthday kid wants; after
all, it's DD/DS who will be at the party giving the
gift, so I figure they should decide what to give. If
DD/DS doesn't know the kid well enough to know what
they'd like, I think long and hard about sending them
to the party.

I've also never (that I remember) told someone not to
give DD or DS such and such gift. It's far easier
to accept the gift graciously, and then after the
party put it away. This also teaches DD/DS that not
all gifts are what you really want, and that it is
important to express delight when you get a gift, even
if the delight is fake.

Scott DD 11 and DS 8

Scott wrote in message . ..
Sophie wrote:
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.


When people RSVP they usually ask what the child would like. I say then no
play-doh or whatever I don't like.



I've seen this suggestion a couple places. I never ask
the parent when I RSVP what gift the child wants -- I
usually ask DS or DD what the birthday kid wants; after
all, it's DD/DS who will be at the party giving the
gift, so I figure they should decide what to give. If
DD/DS doesn't know the kid well enough to know what
they'd like, I think long and hard about sending them
to the party.

That works better with older kids. I think the OP's dd is turning
either 2 or 3, so her "friends" would be unlikely to know what she
would want!

Irene

Scott wrote

I've also never (that I remember) told someone not to
give DD or DS such and such gift. It's far easier
to accept the gift graciously, and then after the
party put it away. This also teaches DD/DS that not
all gifts are what you really want, and that it is
important to express delight when you get a gift, even
if the delight is fake.

Scott DD 11 and DS 8

I think in these situations, it's not that the gift is something the
kid doesn't want; it's something the parents don't want. We went
through this over Christmas. Our boys were extremely into Bionicles,
but were getting very violent when playing with them. We told them
they needed to take a break from them and put them away for awhile.
We also mentioned to family (when they asked) that we did not want
more Bionicles for Christmas. So in this case, if someone would have
gone ahead and gotten the boys a Bionicle anyway, the boys would have
been genuinely delighted, but I would not have been.

~ Sher

sher wrote:
Scott wrote


I've also never (that I remember) told someone not to
give DD or DS such and such gift. It's far easier
to accept the gift graciously, and then after the
party put it away. This also teaches DD/DS that not
all gifts are what you really want, and that it is
important to express delight when you get a gift, even
if the delight is fake.

Scott DD 11 and DS 8


I think in these situations, it's not that the gift is something the
kid doesn't want; it's something the parents don't want. We went
through this over Christmas. Our boys were extremely into Bionicles,
but were getting very violent when playing with them. We told them
they needed to take a break from them and put them away for awhile.
We also mentioned to family (when they asked) that we did not want
more Bionicles for Christmas. So in this case, if someone would have
gone ahead and gotten the boys a Bionicle anyway, the boys would have
been genuinely delighted, but I would not have been.

~ Sher

Well, y'know, my kids have gotten toys they really like
that I'd just as soon they did not have. They also
spend their money on -- to me -- worthless things.
Both of these things just aren't worth fighting,
to me. I don't understand why DS wants yet another
lego set with his allowance, when he has 3 big plastic
bins full of legos in his room [and they're in the
bins *only* because we spent 2 hours cleaning his room
on Saturday -- usually the room is carpeted in legos ]
How can friends of DD get her scented lotions? P-u!

The list of gifts I'd approve for my kids is pretty
short, actually. But are people giving the gifts
to please me, or to please my kids?

Scott DD 11 and DS 8

In article , sher says...

Scott wrote

I've also never (that I remember) told someone not to
give DD or DS such and such gift. It's far easier
to accept the gift graciously, and then after the
party put it away. This also teaches DD/DS that not
all gifts are what you really want, and that it is
important to express delight when you get a gift, even
if the delight is fake.

Scott DD 11 and DS 8

I think in these situations, it's not that the gift is something the
kid doesn't want; it's something the parents don't want. We went
through this over Christmas. Our boys were extremely into Bionicles,
but were getting very violent when playing with them. We told them
they needed to take a break from them and put them away for awhile.
We also mentioned to family (when they asked) that we did not want
more Bionicles for Christmas. So in this case, if someone would have
gone ahead and gotten the boys a Bionicle anyway, the boys would have
been genuinely delighted, but I would not have been.

Sure. But the parents need to have the mature ability to deal with an unwanted
gift, even one wanted by the child - no?

I can understand making close family aware of these restricitons. But
classmates, etc? That would be inapproproate.

Banty

It's far easier
to accept the gift graciously, and then after the
party put it away. This also teaches DD/DS that not
all gifts are what you really want, and that it is
important to express delight when you get a gift, even
if the delight is fake.


I could not agree more! Life is not perfect and dissapointment is
something that we cannot avoid! And teaching them good social skills
is also a MUST.

"ted" wrote in message
om...
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.


I have informed my mom that I wanted my kids to recieve more educational
toys then not for gifts. While I dont have a problem with Barbie I HATE the
Bratz dolls so I am hoping we can avoid those. I think one thing that will
help in my quest to get more educational toys is that most of my family
knows I want to homeschool.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Tell her Thank you verry much but my daughter is really into INSERT
CHARECTER HERE right now and would really love a cake with that on it.

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Xavier due 10/17/04

On 2 Aug 2004 10:39:04 -0700, (ted) wrote:
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

My whole family and all my in-laws knew I did not want Barbie in my
house. So for my oldest daughter's 5th birthday, she got: a Barbie
house, a Barbie Jeep, a Barbie dog, a Barbie horse, a Ken, a few of
the Kelly dolls and I lost count of how many Barbies. I was so mad.
And that Christmas both the kids got Barbie sheets for their beds. It
was like everyone did it on purpose. I just didn't want Barbie crap
cluttering up the house, but it did. I finally got rid of most of it
last year.
So if your family is like mine, they won't care if you tell them no
Barbies. I have no idea why people think Barbie is mandantory for
girls.
Marie