"choosing" gifts for kids

In article , Mary says...



My very close girlfriend & I have moved on to the next level with our
kids. She has 1 DD & I have 1 DS. They are both very spoiled by both
sides of the family. I have in the past given her a check for the
college fund for either Birthday (May) or Christmas exchange with
something small for a package to open. We have in the last year made
donations to the Children's Hospital in her & my DS's names.

They just all end up with so much "stuff" Barbie/Character of the month
from family, etc. I would put a little note on the invite that says " No
gifts- if you feel you must, please donate to *** in your child's honor"
Then you use the opportunity to teach them about giving back to kids
less fortunate and charity.

Mary

Really, really tacky.

I resent beging suggested to contribute to someone else's charity.

Banty

Peggy wrote:
Here's a very helpful tip passed on to me by a fellow parent:
Burn a candle and let the melting wax drip in to the speaker of the
very noisy toy. This muffles the sound while still allowing the
child to enjoy the toy. It doesn't hurt the toy at all either.
May void any warranty, but at least your ears won't hurt!

I've found Scotch tape has much the same effect with probably less effort!
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 5), and the Rising Son (Julian, 7)

This week's suggested Bush/Cheney campaign bumper sticker:
"Leave no child a dime."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

In article ,
"Peggy" wrote:

"ted" wrote in message
om...
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Thanks.

Some might think this is tacky, but check into birthday gift registries (I
think Wal*Mart has one) and put in the invitation something to the effect of
"child is registered at Wal*Mart."
Peggy



Even for wedding registries or baby showers, it is only appropriate to
tell people *when they ask* where (or if) you are registered. It is
never appropriate to put it on or in the invitation.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

In article ,
(ted) wrote:

Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Thanks.

It's only appropriate to tell people what your child's preferences are
when they ask -- otherwise, bringing up gifts at all is generally
considered inappropriate.

I know how you feel about Barbie -- I felt much the same -- but I
suggest you give it up: no matter WHAT you do, people WILL give your
daughter Barbies. My solution was to not forbid it -- but also to NOT
put any time into maintenance, so her clothes were never together, and
daughters could seldom find matching shoes. Neither of my kids played
with them all that much -- they had other things they preferred -- and
by not making a Big Deal over it, they never felt like they had to like
them to spite me . . .

My favorite conversation with a Barbie was between DH and a 3 yo
daughter: she brought Barbie to him to dress her. As he put the
clothes on, he casually explained that Barbies were hard to dress
because they weren't shaped like real people.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

"Circe" wrote in message
newsWzPc.20$Uh.15@fed1read02...
Peggy wrote:
Here's a very helpful tip passed on to me by a fellow parent:
Burn a candle and let the melting wax drip in to the speaker of the
very noisy toy. This muffles the sound while still allowing the
child to enjoy the toy. It doesn't hurt the toy at all either.
May void any warranty, but at least your ears won't hurt!

I've found Scotch tape has much the same effect with probably less effort!
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 5), and the Rising Son (Julian, 7)

This week's suggested Bush/Cheney campaign bumper sticker:
"Leave no child a dime."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman



May be less effort but can also be taken off just as easily too by
determined little hands.
Peggy

"Circe" wrote in message
news:1fvPc.7351$go.1989@fed1read07...
Marie wrote:
I have no idea why people think Barbie is mandantory for
girls.

Maybe because the typical 4-6yo girl likes them and they're not exactly
the
spawn of the devil?

lol

I was anti-barbie before I had children and while they were tiny. By the
time my eldest child, a boy, was 4 I was routinely sewing elaborate Barbie
trousseaus for my friends' daughters and some of his preschool friends for
their birthday's. Then I had to do it all again for his sister and her
friends a year later.

I'd made the mistake of relaxing my 'standards' for a friend's daughter.
"Hey, she loooves them and I don't have to have them in *my* house", I told
myself as I returned to childhood and put together various frou frou
creations out of ribbons, satin and lace. Then I couldn't resist all the
pleading eyes and gratifying oooohing and aaaahing from the other little
girls!

Tai
"Resistance is futile."

"glunk" wrote in message
...



Incidentally, what ever happened to the announcement I heard on the news
several years ago that Barbie was going to be remodelled to be shaped like
a
normal human woman?

I got the idea that they did change 'her' shape but it's been years since
I've seen a Barbie just out of her box so I don't know what they did to the
design.

The best accessory we ever bought was the pink convertible. It's a bit
dilapidated now but D3 squeezes as many soft toys in it as he can and races
it around the house.

Tai

"dragonlady" wrote in message
...
In article ,
(ted) wrote:

Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Thanks.

It's only appropriate to tell people what your child's preferences are
when they ask -- otherwise, bringing up gifts at all is generally
considered inappropriate.


Yes. It would never have occurred to me to do anything other than give some
suggestions relating to my child's interests *if* I was asked. I was
gobsmacked by the idea of a gift registry for a child's birthday.


I know how you feel about Barbie -- I felt much the same -- but I
suggest you give it up: no matter WHAT you do, people WILL give your
daughter Barbies. My solution was to not forbid it -- but also to NOT
put any time into maintenance, so her clothes were never together, and
daughters could seldom find matching shoes. Neither of my kids played
with them all that much -- they had other things they preferred -- and
by not making a Big Deal over it, they never felt like they had to like
them to spite me . . .

That's right - let the child drive her own interests. If your daughters had
been as passionate as some little girls are they'd have organised all the
bits and pieces themselves; and probably badgered you to get the
compartmentalised accessory pouches that were made especially for them.


My favorite conversation with a Barbie was between DH and a 3 yo
daughter: she brought Barbie to him to dress her. As he put the
clothes on, he casually explained that Barbies were hard to dress
because they weren't shaped like real people.

Perfect.What a clever man!

Tai

Peggy wrote:
"Circe" wrote in message
newsWzPc.20$Uh.15@fed1read02...
Peggy wrote:
Here's a very helpful tip passed on to me by a fellow parent:
Burn a candle and let the melting wax drip in to the speaker of
the very noisy toy. This muffles the sound while still allowing
the
child to enjoy the toy. It doesn't hurt the toy at all either.
May void any warranty, but at least your ears won't hurt!

I've found Scotch tape has much the same effect with probably less
effort!

May be less effort but can also be taken off just as easily too by
determined little hands.

Shrug Maybe my kids are low on initiative or imagination, but they never
seemed to figure out that there was tape there or to try to remove it.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 5), and the Rising Son (Julian, 7)

This week's suggested Bush/Cheney campaign bumper sticker:
"Leave no child a dime."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

"Nikki" wrote:

H Schinske wrote:
Nikki ) wrote:

Now I'll agree it is not cool to get the stuff after a parent
specifically says no, regardless of the silly logic gdr

I think a parent has a right to veto certain kinds of toys simply
because they are maddening -- e.g., noisemakers that eat batteries,
truly ugly dolls/stuffed animals, etc.

Well sure, that is why I said it wasn't cool to get stuff that the parent
expressed disapproval of. There are plenty of toys in the world that
banning certain ones won't be the end of the earth. I said it was silly
because I can't really get on board with banning Barbies (or any toy really)
is all.

I would not let my girls have Barbies, and I told my family that and
they abided by it - either because they didn't like them either or
because they respected my wish.

The girls did have Penny Brite and baby dolls. I have one
granddaughter who has Barbies (my DIL likes them), so I have given her
some. I personally think my DIL is wrong about this child liking
Barbies - she's 8 now and I don't see any evidence of her playing with
them.

But I had very few birthday parties for my kids. They only got
presents from family. Partly this was that the oldest was born in
August and school is not in session then. And we moved around a lot
too. So I didn't have much problem of their friends giving them
something that I didn't want them to have.

Some people don't want their kids to have toy guns, or Gameboys and
some don't want toys that make noise. My MIL gave dd#1 (when she was
less than 2 years old a Santa that was sitting on a chimney ringing a
bell incessantly. The kid loved it, but I couldn't stand it for very
long at a time. So I only turned in on for limited amounts of time.

grandma Rosalie