Going out...

Does anyone go out without their babies for dinner or something like that?
How do you work it with exclusive breastfeeding? How can I leave her with a
babysitter and still go out to dinner?
Does it work? I can't imagine doing it right now.
DH wants to go out to dinner, just us (we haven't had alone time in a long
time even before Alena) but I'm nervous about leaving her with a sitter.
(It would be my best friend, but still!)
What do I tell her to do if she wakes up crying in hunger? Or if something
goes wrong?
Does anyone else have these fears?
Should I just tell DH we're going to bring her with us until she's older?

--
Lina
Alena born July 1st, 2003
www.maternalinstinctscanada.com
validate the email address before sending.

AlenasMom wrote:
Does anyone go out without their babies for dinner or something like
that?

I haven't only because it wasn't important to me or my husband.

How do you work it with exclusive breastfeeding? How can I
leave her with a babysitter and still go out to dinner?

If we were to do it, than as long as it wasn't a growth spurt, I would just
tank the baby up on a feed, and be sure to come back within three hours.
But then again, I don't pump.

Does it work? I can't imagine doing it right now.

It works. Even in Juliet's case (she is very much the clingy baby type),
she didn't mind too much when she was little who held her, as long as
someone was holding her.

DH wants to go out to dinner, just us (we haven't had alone time in a
long time even before Alena) but I'm nervous about leaving her with a
sitter. (It would be my best friend, but still!)
What do I tell her to do if she wakes up crying in hunger? Or if
something goes wrong?
Does anyone else have these fears?
Should I just tell DH we're going to bring her with us until she's
older?

Nah, it's obvious it's important for him that you go out to dinner. Just as
much as you want these fears validated in fact I would bet.

Laurel

"AlenasMom" wrote in message
le.rogers.com...
Does anyone go out without their babies for dinner or something like that?
How do you work it with exclusive breastfeeding? How can I leave her with
a
babysitter and still go out to dinner?

Do you have a pump? That would be your answer. If not, I find that I can
nurse leave and come back within an hour and a half and everything will
still be okay. Yeah the baby might get fussy but she wouldn't be starving
(unless you leave during a growth spurt which of course you won't).

Does it work? I can't imagine doing it right now.

I felt that way with my DD (first child). We went out alone very seldomly.
Now I wish we had been more willing to go do stuff for us while it was as
easy as it was then. Its certainly more difficult with two kids.

What do I tell her to do if she wakes up crying in hunger? Or if something
goes wrong?

Take a cell phone or pager if you can so that she can get ahold of you if
she feels she can't calm the baby down. Otherwise she should walk, rock,
sing, bounce and play with her.

Does anyone else have these fears?

Absolutely! They are normal.

Should I just tell DH we're going to bring her with us until she's older?

If you honestly don't think you'll be comfortable going out you can do this.
Its easy to take a small baby with. However, I suggest trying to get out
for an hour or an hour and a half. If all goes well you'll feel a lot
better about it.

Good luck!

--
Rhiannon
Mom to M. Girl and O. Boy

AlenasMom wrote:

Does anyone go out without their babies for dinner or something like that?


Not recently, but yes. The first time we went out,
Caterpillar had just started taking bottles (so I had a
bottle of pumped milk in the fridge ready to be used). She
was about a month old. Caterpillar was fine. Allyson was
fine. I was a wreck. I saw a baby in the restaurant and my
milk let down. I heard a baby cry, and my milk let down.
By the time dinner was over, I was frantic to get back home.

The second time we went out (to a movie or something), I was
happy to be back home, but it wasn't nearly as bad. And the
next time was even easier.

That said, I still prefer to take her with us when she won't
be disruptive. Dinner, yes. Fair, yes. Movie, no.


How do you work it with exclusive breastfeeding?


Pump and leave a bottle. You may be able to pick up hand
expressing with a few tries (and it would take a few tries
to get significant amounts from a pump, in my experience),
and save the $.


What do I tell her to do if she wakes up crying in hunger?
Feed her.


Alena had bottles, but it's been a long time, right? If she
doesn't take one regularly, there's a chance she won't. So
nurse right before you leave, and suggest trying a cup or
spoon or eyedropper if she refuses a bottle. She may take a
bottle when she knows it's that or nothing. Or she may
prefer to wait and wail. A nice walk outside might cut down
on the wailing during the wait.


Or if something goes wrong?

Umm... burp, check for stray threads, take temperature, call
doctor's office, call you on cell phone, call 911? Same
sort of things you'd do if you were there. If your friend
has kids, she won't have any problems she feels unable to
handle while you're gone for a few hours.


Should I just tell DH we're going to bring her with us until she's older?

Older might mean 8 or 9 months, if you plan to wait until
she's eating enough solids to skip a nursing. If both of
you like taking her along, by all means. If you'd like a
little alone time, it'll get easier with practice.

Phoebe
--
yahoo address is unread - substitute mailbolt

are you from pennsylvania? I remember the name Alena in the NICU, born
around that time.
olga

"Olga Piccolo" wrote in message
...
are you from pennsylvania? I remember the name Alena in the NICU, born
around that time.
olga


Nope... not even the right country.
I'm in Canada

AlenasMom wrote:
Does anyone go out without their babies for dinner or something like that?

Not when they were little.

How do you work it with exclusive breastfeeding? How can I leave her with a
babysitter and still go out to dinner?
Does it work? I can't imagine doing it right now.

I couldn't imagine it either. I wasn't giving bottles, and I didn't
want to bother with all that trouble just for an occasional dinner out,
when the baby could come along. If we wanted to eat, just the two of
us, we could order in, and eat while the baby was sleeping. It just
wasn't that big of a deal.

DH wants to go out to dinner, just us (we haven't had alone time in a long
time even before Alena) but I'm nervous about leaving her with a sitter.
(It would be my best friend, but still!)

My best friend met me when our boys were 5 months old, and neither of us
felt comfortable leaving our babies with each other for an evening out
until the boys were over one year of age. I know that's not typical in
our culture, but there's nothing wrong with feeling that way, and
honoring it. *I* wouldn't enjoy dinner out worrying about my baby...I
went to dh's Christmas party when Noah was 8 months old, and I was a wreck.

What do I tell her to do if she wakes up crying in hunger? Or if something
goes wrong?

If you have to do it, I'd have a cellphone with me, eat out close by,
and ask her to call you if the baby cries and can't be comforted.

Does anyone else have these fears?

See above :-) I don't feel my life or my marriage was hindered by
bringing the baby with us for dinners out; they're so portable and easy
at that age, if you can nurse in the sling. A lot of people think that
marital happiness means regular time with just you and your spouse, but
I think that there is time for that when the baby is older. *I*
wouldn't want to go out to dinner with someone who was worried, stressed
out, and might leak milk all over the place ;-)

Should I just tell DH we're going to bring her with us until she's older?

My dh figured out pretty quickly that the best way to make mama happy
was make sure baby was happy. We were able to have dinners out, movies,
etc., without leaving a young baby. Now that they're older, they enjoy
being with a close friend or family, and can tell me if they had a good
time, etc.

I think you should follow your gut instinct, and if you decide to try it
out, maybe do a lunch or something for your first time; my babies were
always at their neediest in the evening.


HTH,


Emily

Emily Roysdon wrote:

if you decide to try it
out, maybe do a lunch or something for your first time; my babies were
always at their neediest in the evening.

I second that. Caterpillar wants to nurse every hour in the
evening, and even with an extra-big bottle will only go 2
hours (so a max of 4 hours of away time). But if I go out
at 8:30am, she's fine until 12:30. If I leave after an
11:00am nursing, she's fine until 2pm or so.

Phoebe
--
yahoo address is unread - substitute mailbolt

AlenasMom wrote in message
Does anyone go out without their babies for dinner or something like that?

Of course. Not often, but once in a blue moon we went out when the babies
were small. We are pretty much homebodies and didn't have many opportunities
to go out. Lots of times, we would put baby to bed and then have a nice
dinner at home.

How do you work it with exclusive breastfeeding? How can I leave her with
a babysitter and still go out to dinner?

Well either pump and leave a bottle for the babysitter or only be gone in
between feedings.

Does it work? I can't imagine doing it right now.

It works. Lots of times, baby didn't even know we were gone. They were
perfectly happy to be spoiled by grandma.

DH wants to go out to dinner, just us (we haven't had alone time in a long
time even before Alena) but I'm nervous about leaving her with a sitter.
(It would be my best friend, but still!)

Nuturing a marriage is just as important as nurturing your child. Of course
adult needs can be put off and/or you can be creative at home.

What do I tell her to do if she wakes up crying in hunger? Or if something
goes wrong?

Well, if you are able to pump and she will take a bottle, that would be your
best bet. If the baby won't take a bottle and can't be soothed, then you
will need to come home. Make sure you don't go some place really far away.

Does anyone else have these fears?

I'm sure there isn't a mother alive who hasn't been reluctant to leave their
babies. I'm not as neurotic as some moms on this newsgroup, but I always
felt that it was important for my children to bond with my parents and have
a relationship with my family other than my husband and myself. Also, with
us having a special needs child, my children needed to have others who could
take my place in a heartbeat because I never know when I am going to have an
extended stay at the hospital. My life is different from many others here,
so I have different views on leaving children in other people's care.

Should I just tell DH we're going to bring her with us until she's older?

I personally wouldn't, but you need to do what you feel comfortable in
doing. Perhaps hubby would be satisfied with a romantic dinner at home, when
the baby goes to bed. If hubby is feeling neglected, which happens a lot
once a woman becomes a mom, then perhaps you could go to dinner and come
straight back. Good luck.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...

"AlenasMom" wrote in message ble.rogers.com...
Does anyone go out without their babies for dinner or something like that?

No, but I think I should and I want to, and I'm planning to start
soon. We used to go out fairly often (like every other month) when my
first was a baby, but my second was the ultra-attached type, and I got
used to not being able to go out without her. So we haven't even tried
with no. 3 -- some of what I was forced into with no. 2, like never
going out without my baby, became habits.

My DD (9 mos) won't take a bottle and needs to nurse to sleep for the
night (see what I mean about my mothering habits?), so there are two
ways we can do it: (1) go out immediately after a feeding. She goes 4
hours between feeds now, so that's plenty of time, but it would have
to be way early -- she gets cranky for bedtime at about 7:15. Or (2)
go out after she is down for the night. I think this works for a lot
of people, as most babies, even those with disruptive nights, seem to
have some hours of good sleep right after bedtime. That's what we hope
to do this Saturday so we can see a certain band; I'm really excited!!
My mom will be there with all 3 kids and she will have our cell phone
number in case baby wakes up and gets upset when she finds it's not me
coming in to put her back down. Problem for us is that where we're
going is about 40 minutes away, so I am and will be nervous.

I definitely share your fears, and I'm a third-time mom! Why not try
it, though? Make sure you pick a nearby restaurant and leave her your
cell phone number or arrange to call in after an hour. Worst case
scenario: you finish dinner up quick to get home to her and/or she is
upset for a little while. It will not harm her or your friend.

We *had* to go out twice recently for our older kids' back-to-school
nights, which required my mom to babysit through the baby's normal
bedtime. As I said, she nurses to sleep. By the time we got home,
about 45 minutes after her normal bedtime, she was a mess. I had
nbursed her before going, so she wasn't hungry, just tired and needing
mommy because I'm always there when she's tired. When I laid eyes on
her, she wasn't crying, but I could tell she had been, a lot. As soon
as she saw me, she burst into hysterical crying and practically
plunged out of my mom's arms into mine. I felt awful for her and for
my mom! But within, like, 30 seconds, she was alseep at my breast, and
her normal happy self thereafter.

How do you work it with exclusive breastfeeding? How can I leave her with a
babysitter and still go out to dinner?
Does it work? I can't imagine doing it right now.
DH wants to go out to dinner, just us (we haven't had alone time in a long
time even before Alena) but I'm nervous about leaving her with a sitter.
(It would be my best friend, but still!)
What do I tell her to do if she wakes up crying in hunger? Or if something
goes wrong?
Does anyone else have these fears?
Should I just tell DH we're going to bring her with us until she's older?