3 year old with nap problem

In article ,
Hillary Israeli wrote:
Well, I guess it's more ME with the nap problem and a 3 year old who
really doesn't care that much, but in any case, I am seeking some advice
or input here, PLEASE

Hi Hillary!

I am having a similar issue with my 2.5yo (birthday is in March).
Unlike your son, mine will happily go down for a nap at 12:30 and 1
sleep until 2:30 when we have to go pick up the older boys from
school. My issue is that on those days, he's up until 10pm! Until
recently, he used to go to bed at 8 or 8:30 and sleep until we wake
him at 6:45. If we skip the nap, he goes to bed very easily at 8pm.

So, anyway, if he skips his nap, he usually will fall asleep at about 6 pm
from total exhaustion, wake up at about 8:30 or 9 and want to eat and play
til about 10:30 and then go to bed and get up at normal time (6 am). I
hate when he does that! If he manages to fall asleep between 1:30 and 3:30
he will sleep for two hours, wake up, and be normal, and have dinner and a
regular evening. That's great as far as I am concerned - but rare.

So, on your "no nap" days, he really is napping, just at 6pm. This is
generally a bad thing!

Can anyone offer any suggestions for getting him to take a nap when he
doesn't want to, or alternatively for getting him to sleep more at night
so he doesn't need to nap??

For getting him to take the nap: When Evan resists, which is pretty rare,
I have him look at books in his crib. Nine times out of ten, he conks
out within 30 minutes. We also have a very basic naptime routine which is
different from the bedtime routine. You may insist on "quiet time" in
his bed/bedroom for, say, an hour, during which he might conk out at least
some of the time.

For getting him to sleep more at night: If he skips the nap, I would
*not* let him sleep at 6pm even if he is falling over exhausted (as
Evan was last night at that time). Keep him up until 7:30 or so and
then put him to bed for the night. Do not play with him if he gets up
at 9. Tell him it is "the middle of the night" and he needs to go
back to sleep.

We are finding that even though we like the no nap evenings better
(Evan passes out a 8pm with no arguments) he not yet ready for no
naps at all -- the first day he is usually fine all evening even
without the nap, but after that it starts catching up with him. We
are experimenting with napping him on alternating days during the
week (MWF) to see how that works. I can really use his nap at
least a copule of days/week to get my work done, so I'm not really
ready to give it up despite the easier bedtimes. My other two were
dedicated nappers until they were 4yo, so this is new for me!

Good luck,

--Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01)

Ah, once again the thrill of knowing I am not alone...

My daughter has a very similar schedule to yours, including the 6am thing...
my good friend has his 3-year-old son trained not to leave his bed until he
sees a "7" on the digital clock.

Although she goes through phases where she is highly resistant to naps, we
persevere and tell her that even if she doesn't sleep, she needs to rest in
the afternoon. Almost always she'll catnap 30-45 minutes and it makes THE
WORLD of difference later in the afternoon/evening... kids this age seem to
turn into barely recognizable monsters with insufficient sleep.

As with most activities which our children "don't like" initially but which
are inherently beneficial to them, repetition calms the waters over time.
The first few days of enforced napping may not be particularly pleasant for
either of you, but kids are SO smart... in a couple of days your son WILL
come to the realization that naptime is a fact of life, not an option to
bargain for.

I sometimes find myself daydreaming of the day Erika sleeps until 8am like
many of our friends' children. Hasn't happened yet but ya' gotta' dream...

Dave

"Hillary Israeli" wrote in message
...
Well, I guess it's more ME with the nap problem and a 3 year old who
really doesn't care that much, but in any case, I am seeking some advice
or input here, PLEASE

A brief background:

My son turned 3 9.9.00

His normal nighttime routine: watches short bedtime video at about 8 pm,
goes to bed around 8:20, gets short bedtime story, sleeps about 8:30-8:45
til about 6 am. Wakes up (probably shortly before) 6 am, comes running
into our room shouting "I saw a six, I saw a six, it's morning time now!"
because he's been instructed NOT to come into our room until at least 6 am
unless he needs to use the bathroom or has some other major problem

He usually starts getting tired again some time between 1:30 and 2:30 pm.

He always insists he is not tired, and he does not want to go to sleep or
nap or anything like that. He really really resists taking a nap. We used
to be able to put him in the car and get him to go to sleep but that
doesn't work any more. He sometimes will agree to rest quietly, but sadly
simply having quiet time doesn't seem to help prevent the overtired blues
which generally set in by about 4:30 pm or maybe 5 - at which point is he
so tired he will cry at the drop of a hat, and generally freak out over
nothing, but still will not go to sleep. Offering to let him watch a video
at naptime, btw, doesn't help either. He just complains that it isn't
night-night time yet so I shouldn't be trying to get him to go to sleep!
So, anyway, if he skips his nap, he usually will fall asleep at about 6 pm
from total exhaustion, wake up at about 8:30 or 9 and want to eat and play
til about 10:30 and then go to bed and get up at normal time (6 am). I
hate when he does that! If he manages to fall asleep between 1:30 and 3:30
he will sleep for two hours, wake up, and be normal, and have dinner and a
regular evening. That's great as far as I am concerned - but rare.

Can anyone offer any suggestions for getting him to take a nap when he
doesn't want to, or alternatively for getting him to sleep more at night
so he doesn't need to nap??

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large