frustrated with Doctor. Am I rightfullt so? (a bit long, but needhelp!)

"zolw" wrote in message
news:0hxrc.92897$iF6.8119737@attbi_s02...
Oh yeah, he sure is sensible, but it really would have been much better
f he would have explained it to me like you just did. He just kept
repeating that I should come 6 weeks after delivery. Then had to ask
him, well what is the routine, do you install it right after delivery or
after these 6 weeks have passed. That is when he decided to give me an
answer. I am not sure that it is right to have to drag words out of his
mouth. I am glad he knows what he is doing, but I do not always have
answers to gynocological questions & it is his job to explain them to me.

Mona, a lot of the questions you seem to be needing extended answers to are
fairly basic, and can be found in almost any good pregnancy reference. Do
you have a book on pregnancy?

Donna

Zolw,
It may feel like cheating, but it's not. Really.
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Check out our Adoption Page at http://home.earthlink.net/~jamielee6


"zolw" wrote in message
news:VlDrc.8460$JC5.765380@attbi_s54...
It is funny you should mention this, but in a weird way, both me & my
husband feel that it's like cheating on our current doctor. It sucks
to feel this way.

Jamie Clark wrote:

"zolw" wrote in message
news:0Qxrc.804$hi6.119012@attbi_s53...


jitney wrote:



You wouldn't hesitate to dismiss a gardener, interior designer,
tutor,carpenter, or craftsman, or any other "expert" whose work you
were unsatisfied with, why should a doctor be any different?

You know, if someone posted my messages, I really would advise them to
change doctors, but you have no idea how hard I find it. I mean, at
least with this doctor, I know he has the reputation to protect, the
medical knowledge to intervene when/if things really get out of control.

I know it is silly, but if I had a guarantee that the next provider I
chose is gonna be any better, I would. The problem is, there is no
guarantee. Although i liked the idea of another poster that I should try
other doctors (while staying with him) & then when I find the right one,
I should just do the switch.



That's right, Zolw. You don't just pick a new OB out of the phone book,
transfer your care, and then figure out if he or she is good and a
match.
You go meet the staff, check out the office, and interview the doctor.
Tell
the new potential doc your story -- how you are feeling about your
current
OB, about your pregnancy, your fears, your history, your family's
history.
How this OB reacts to your story will tell you a lot about if there is a
match or not. If they seem nice and receptive and try to alleviate your
fears with facts and compassion, then you can switch over your medical
records and be done with it. If they act much the same way that your
current doc does, then you're not out anything. It's not like you are
cheating on your doctor, or that they'll find out that you were
interviewing
other doctors. And even if he did, it's a free country, and it's your,
and
your baby's medical care.

I
have already explained that it seemed to me that most drs give 2
ultrasounds. Now that I know they don't I do not want another
ultrasound.

Actually, I think most OBs *do* do two ultrasounds. But neither of them is in
the late 3rd trimester. It is common to have one at the first visit (to
confirm dates, see a heartbeat -- even though, for most women, neither of these
is necessary); and a second one at around 20 weeks to look for physical
problems with the baby (and see the sex, if the parents want that.)

(I had the one scan early on, and and then had to keep telling them at every
visit that nobody had forgotten to do another one ... I just didn't WANT
another one! Someone finally wrote it in my chart.)


Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

For example, when i asked him about contraceptions after I have the baby
(I thought that if I put a loop ( no idea what these are called in the
US)

IUD

then it would be done right after delivery).

I don't think these are put in right after delivery. Open cervix/lots of
bleeding/tender uterus -- I'd think the risk of problems (expulsion or
perforation) would be very high. Not to mention infection.

I hadn't even mentioned
to him what kind of contraception i had in mind & he just said that I

will come back 6 weeks after delivery & discuss it. Why couldn't we
discuss it then?

Maybe because these are prenatal visits, and it makes more sense to spend time
discussion pregnancy/child birth issues. Since he would NOT be putting it in
immediately after delivery, there's no real pressing need to discuss it before
the baby is born.

6 weeks postpartum is ample time to discuss it. (You probably won't be having
much sex before that time anyway, and if you breastfeed, the odds of conception
even without using anything are extremely remote. And if you do want to have
sex before 6 weeks, and need contraception, you can either use condoms, or call
for an appointment to discuss it then.

Why can't I have ideas & options now, so that 6

weeks
after my delivery i would have a certainty of what I want? When i tried

So do research on your own. There are lots of websites, and lots of books with
tons of info on contraception. Do your research, then, at your 6 week
appointment, discuss it with him.


o take it further, he just frowned (or maybe he just has a problem with
his facial impressions & gestures) at me & said that I am impatient.


*grin* I think he has a point. Stick to the info you need in the immediate
future. Talk to him about your pregnancy and labor. Birth control *can* wait.




Naomi
CAPPA Certified Lactation Educator

(either remove spamblock or change address to to e-mail
reply.)

zolw wrote in message news:boxrc.36558$gr.3660269@attbi_s52...
I see your point, but how do i find another doctor that I would be more
satisfied with? I am not willing to go under the stress of jumping from
one doctor to the next, in the last weeks of my pregnancy.I have found
him through my insurance & he has been highly recommended to me by other
people ( nurses, general practitioner etc.). I thought well, if he is so
highly recommended then i can bare with him.

Other people's opinions don't count. Whether or not *you* like him is
the most important.

If you want to stay with an OB, then I'd get a list of providers on
your insurance plan, and then call and make "interview" appointments
with them. Many of them don't charge for this sort of appointment.
Take a list of questions with you (what is your c-section rate? What
is your epidural rate? What is your episiotomy rate, and what are your
feelings about episiotomies?, etc). Talk to the providers about your
concerns, and then see how they respond.

Don't jump from one to the next... go shopping, find the one you want,
then changing will be a *relief* not a stress factor. I'm serious.
Call 10 offices and get some preliminary info to narrow it down to 4
or 5 OBs. Then go and interview them. You'll find one that you'll
click with, I'm sure.

Another thing, I would find out if your insurance covers midwives, and
then find a practice that accepts your insurance. My midwives are
independent practicioners, and my insurance covers them as an
out-of-network provider, so I had a hefty out-of-pocket expense (about
$1500 out of a total of $4700), and I was fortunate enough to be able
to afford that. My stepson's mom's insurance wouldn't cover them at
all, but would cover midwives that were part of an OB practice. So she
found an OB practice with midwives, and hired that "OB", but only
worked with the midwives.

From everything you've said, it sounds like a midwife is more what
you'd be happy with.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01

In RMxrc.93309$xw3.5311643@attbi_s04,
zolw wrote:

*OK, explain to me the connection between a lump & an expanding uterus.

When something INSIDE your body expands, it may be perceived as a lump from
the outside. If you blow up a big giant water balloon in your body, it's
going to feel likea lump from the outside. That is the connection.

*Any woman should be concerned when there is a lump (actually any person
*should)

Sure. But if you ask the doctor about it and he says "oh, it's [insert
completely benign and reasonable explanation], don't worry about it," the
person should either stop worrying about it, or seek a second opinion, not
keep seeing the same doctor but complain that the doctor isn't good. Just my
opinion. I mean, if you're worried he's wrong about the lump, you gotta get
it checked by a competent doctor. If you're not worried about that, what's
the big deal?

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large

In kUxrc.36807$gr.3676648@attbi_s52,
zolw wrote:

*Oh yeah, there were questions when "it's normal" or "you're pregnant"
*did the trick for me. But when i ask him things that require
*explanation, such as a lump on my abdomen, he can't tell me that's
*normal. A lump is never normal. A lump needs explanation. & when I ask
*him why as a response to the "it's normal" answer, he seems annoyed by
*my why. I guess he is GOD & I gotta just say ok.

Every single visibly pregnant woman, mare, ewe, cow, bitch, queen or doe I
have ever seen has had a lump on her abdomen!!


--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large

(Hillary Israeli) wrote:
Every single visibly pregnant woman, mare, ewe, cow, bitch, queen or doe I
have ever seen has had a lump on her abdomen!!

I know the other ones, but what female mammal is a queen?!?

--
-- Vicki
Married DH May 21, 1995. Ima shel Sullen, born 11/16/99;
Chatty, born at home 5/19/02, and Expected, "due" September 4, 2004.

In ,
Vicki S wrote:

*(Hillary Israeli) wrote:
* Every single visibly pregnant woman, mare, ewe, cow, bitch, queen or doe I
* have ever seen has had a lump on her abdomen!!
*
*I know the other ones, but what female mammal is a queen?!?

A cat!

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large

"Hillary Israeli" wrote in message
...
In ,
Vicki S wrote:

*(Hillary Israeli) wrote:
* Every single visibly pregnant woman, mare, ewe, cow, bitch, queen or
doe I
* have ever seen has had a lump on her abdomen!!
*
*I know the other ones, but what female mammal is a queen?!?

A cat!

No kidding. I was wondering the same thing.

While we're on the subject.... my latin is a bit rusty. Does your sig
translate to "A cow is divided into four parts."? grin

Donna