In response to Kate

I wanted to be treated with respect and
consideration . I did not deserve the treatment I received, in my opinion.

You got the truth. People respected and cared enough about you to tell you the
truth. That's the best gift anyone can give you and you don't appreciate that.
I don't care that you don't want to take the advice, what ****es me off is the
lack of respect and gratitude for the help people tried to give you.

Let me give you a hint about the grief - it won't stop hurting until you stop
thinking about yourself. I know something about that.


The horse is dead, lets stop beating it . I know I want to.

Then stop dragging him out here. You are the one that keeps bringing it back.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

Subject: In response to Kate
From: "'Kate
Date: 5/4/2004 5:55 PM Eastern
snip
Kate wrote:
This is all about what you need, isn't it? I'm supposed to keep giving?
You violate my trust and I'm supposed to be the bigger person time after
time? I think not. You like to push my boundaries. I lived with
someone like that for years. I'm not playing anymore. Thank you for
reminding me.

That is the point , YOU are the one that played me, YOU private e-mailed me
from the grief group and YOU initiated the comunication in private . YOU I
believe played me in my grief as some sick experiment. If you know so much then
you would of known what not to do and where not to go with someone that is
grieving. You bailed when you realized what you did had consequences. You
****ed up and you know it. I was just a toy for you to play with , you ****ed
me up and ran. Yeah you are right this is about what *I* need, it took me 2
years to get to the truth. I found the answer. You're welcome.

'Kate

'Kate wrote in message
...
On 05 May 2004 00:44:29 GMT, (Bebelestrnge0721)
Subject: In response to Kate
From: "'Kate
Date: 5/4/2004 5:55 PM Eastern
snip
Kate wrote:
This is all about what you need, isn't it? I'm supposed to keep
giving?
You violate my trust and I'm supposed to be the bigger person time
after
time? I think not. You like to push my boundaries. I lived with
someone like that for years. I'm not playing anymore. Thank you for
reminding me.

That is the point , YOU are the one that played me, YOU private
e-mailed me
from the grief group and YOU initiated the comunication in private .
YOU I
believe played me in my grief as some sick experiment. If you know so
much then
you would of known what not to do and where not to go with someone that
is
grieving. You bailed when you realized what you did had consequences.
You
****ed up and you know it. I was just a toy for you to play with , you
****ed
me up and ran. Yeah you are right this is about what *I* need, it took
me 2
years to get to the truth. I found the answer. You're welcome.

Manipulative, distored, untrue. Typical theatrics. And you wonder why
your child is creating emergencies?

'Kate

What did you expect Kate......it is always somebody else's fault with
people like that.

On 05 May 2004 00:44:29 GMT,
(Bebelestrnge0721) wrote:

Subject: In response to Kate
From: "'Kate
Date: 5/4/2004 5:55 PM Eastern
snip
Kate wrote:
This is all about what you need, isn't it? I'm supposed to keep giving?
You violate my trust and I'm supposed to be the bigger person time after
time? I think not. You like to push my boundaries. I lived with
someone like that for years. I'm not playing anymore. Thank you for
reminding me.

That is the point , YOU are the one that played me, YOU private e-mailed me
from the grief group and YOU initiated the comunication in private . YOU I
believe played me in my grief as some sick experiment. If you know so much then
you would of known what not to do and where not to go with someone that is
grieving. You bailed when you realized what you did had consequences. You
****ed up and you know it. I was just a toy for you to play with , you ****ed
me up and ran. Yeah you are right this is about what *I* need, it took me 2
years to get to the truth. I found the answer. You're welcome.

WOW! Now this is all Kate's fault? Crikey woman, are you not
responsible for *anything*?!

lm

'Kate wrote in message ...


I think she's forgotten that I emailed because she felt unwelcomed
posting in the grief group as a gay woman. At that particular time, I
was not posting much in the group because of some other controversy. I
did what I'd done many times before. I offered my support as a widowed
person with children.

The supposed abandonment that she's talking about was when I broke my
wrist. I told her that I was having a hard time dealing with the pain
and dependence. I had two surgeries... one to put six pins holding the
breaks and four pins holding the bar so that the tendons and muscles
wouldn't snap back and stop the bones from healing in place. The pain
inbetween the installation of that external bar and the removal of the
pins and bar was unrelenting. I was so high from the painkillers, was
not sleeping, and had a host of other issues. I could not even care for
my own family. My mother was here doing that. It was over 3 months
before I was out of pain and through the physical therapy (3x a week for
1.5 months). I still have a considerable amount of loss from that
accident.

She had started seeing a therapist just before my wrist break. I knew
she had a support system that she didn't have before. Bev began to get
abusive when I could not attend to her needs because of my wrist. She
got even angrier and more insistant and started sending increasingly
abusive emails. The last email was of the "take care of me or tell me
to **** off" variety. I told her to **** off. Let me repeat... I could
not take care of myself at this point.

I don't think she realizes how disrespectful and violating she was and
continues to be. She needs to drag this all out and make it as dirty as
possible because I will not give her my email address. Is there any
wonder why?

You need to stop hosting those 'kooks R us' meetings :-)


'Kate

The supposed abandonment that she's talking about was when I broke my
wrist.

You just can't be too careful on the internet. I similar situation a few years
ago from another group. This person went so nuts she changed her email to
8/1/99, the day my husband died.

Crazy people on the net.

I will not give her my email address. Is there any
wonder why?

Not me.

Joelle


The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

'Kate wrote in message ...
On 05 May 2004 20:02:38 GMT, oaway (Joelle)
The supposed abandonment that she's talking about was when I broke my
wrist.

You just can't be too careful on the internet. I similar situation a few
years
ago from another group. This person went so nuts she changed her email
to
8/1/99, the day my husband died.

That was mean spirited.

Crazy people on the net.

It's a breeding ground.

I will not give her my email address. Is there any
wonder why?

Not me.

Joelle




Don't sweat it Kate. When one tries to be helpful they can open themselves
to anything. Here on the internet, it is harder to draw boundaries then in
real life. In real life, when you are working with folks, you will contact
them via the office, not at home. On the internet there are no separating
it. It is amazing how many people will not think twice about crossing
boundaries when given the chance. In real life, don't give out your address
or phone number and get an unlisted number. I did give out my personal
phone number once to a client (and I am just a MT) and she had the gull to
call on Christmas Eve about an upcoming appointment.

Tiff

Hi Kate

For what it is worth, if anything, I thought I'd mention that it is those who
brave the front line who get wounded, not those who sit in the back room.

I have also found that working the field opens you to attacks at times.. some I
have encountered over the years...

refused to break the confidence of a rape victim - got REALLY heavied by the
police

ex-husbands threatening me when their wife walked out after years of abuse

prisoners letting me know my kneecaps were greatly at risk if I continued
counselling his wife

threatened with legal (a bluff) and physical (real threat) repercussions from a
child sexual abuser for wwriting a court report to end his contact with the
child

While these sorts of things are a reality of helping at times, it is essential
not to take them on board - no matter how upsetting they may be. If you act
honourably, then you have done all you can and no matter what some agrieved
person may accuse you off, it has to simply take its place alongside the rude
shopkeepers and abusive other drivers that permuate our lives.

If we take those things on board, our lives would become filled with distress,
unhelpful anger, and frustration.

Be good to yourself Kate

David -

"quietguy" wrote in message
...
Hi Kate

For what it is worth, if anything, I thought I'd mention that it is those
who
brave the front line who get wounded, not those who sit in the back room.

I have also found that working the field opens you to attacks at times..
some I
have encountered over the years...

refused to break the confidence of a rape victim - got REALLY heavied by
the
police

ex-husbands threatening me when their wife walked out after years of abuse

prisoners letting me know my kneecaps were greatly at risk if I continued
counselling his wife

threatened with legal (a bluff) and physical (real threat) repercussions
from a
child sexual abuser for wwriting a court report to end his contact with
the
child

While these sorts of things are a reality of helping at times, it is
essential
not to take them on board - no matter how upsetting they may be. If you
act
honourably, then you have done all you can and no matter what some
agrieved
person may accuse you off, it has to simply take its place alongside the
rude
shopkeepers and abusive other drivers that permuate our lives.

If we take those things on board, our lives would become filled with
distress,
unhelpful anger, and frustration.

Be good to yourself Kate
Hullo mate,
I see you are in Oz. In America we like to let people who are
threatening us know that we have enormously powerful weapons and won't
hesitate to use them. At one time I owned 16 AK47's and a .45 caliber MAC10
30-shot pistol. I have the cutest little Smith and Wesson .357 magnum..... I
have a psychotic brother who has threatened me repeatedly, but he keeps his
distance because he knows I'll shoot him. It's that simple.
I have had to run people off of my property at night with guns and I
just don't see how people live without the knowledge that they can defend
themselves =before= the cops get there. My kids have lost their Mum, but
their old Dad plans on being around a bit longer! Life can be dangerous. I
like to even the odds......
Bob

On Thu, 06 May 2004 23:23:43 GMT, "Heywood Floyd"
wrote:


"quietguy" wrote in message
...
Hi Kate

For what it is worth, if anything, I thought I'd mention that it is those
who
brave the front line who get wounded, not those who sit in the back room.

I have also found that working the field opens you to attacks at times..
some I
have encountered over the years...

refused to break the confidence of a rape victim - got REALLY heavied by
the
police

ex-husbands threatening me when their wife walked out after years of abuse

prisoners letting me know my kneecaps were greatly at risk if I continued
counselling his wife

threatened with legal (a bluff) and physical (real threat) repercussions
from a
child sexual abuser for wwriting a court report to end his contact with
the
child

While these sorts of things are a reality of helping at times, it is
essential
not to take them on board - no matter how upsetting they may be. If you
act
honourably, then you have done all you can and no matter what some
agrieved
person may accuse you off, it has to simply take its place alongside the
rude
shopkeepers and abusive other drivers that permuate our lives.

If we take those things on board, our lives would become filled with
distress,
unhelpful anger, and frustration.

Be good to yourself Kate
Hullo mate,
I see you are in Oz. In America we like to let people who are
threatening us know that we have enormously powerful weapons and won't
hesitate to use them.

Not all of us.

lm