Male teen--19--room and board

My son's almost 19. He's dropping out of college near the end of his
freshman year. He was told that as long as he was in school, he'd not
be charged room & board. Now he's quiting school, has a job at $8.50
an hour cooking for a steakhouse and working full time. That's about
$340 a week gross, about $272 net, and about $1088 a month net. Can
anyone provide some insight on charging him room & board, i.e. do I
charge a percentage or what would be fair. He's my son and I don't
mind feeding him and helping him out, but I feel it doesn't help him
to not charge him room & board because in the real world things just
aren't that simple and easy. I want him to get an idea of what it'll
be like when he gets his own place and has to pay rent, food,
utilities, clothing, haircuts, etc--all out of his own money, which
until recently his mother and I have taken care of. So, if someone
can find the time, please advise on how much or how my wife and I
should go about charging our 19-year-old son for room and board.

P.S. To get an idea of the cost of living, we live outside
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

We had the exact same situation. 18 1/2 years old and working in the
kitchen of a steak house. Working slightly less than full time though and
making less that $8.00 an hour so his take home pay was less than your
son's.
We charged our son $50 a week for room and board and stopped buying his
clothes and paying his car insurance. We would treat him when he went out
with us as a family, he could eat with the rest of the family & raid the
cupboards for snacks but if he did something like fry up a pound of bacon
for a midnight snack he had to replace it.
We took all the money he gave us and put it in savings in case he needed it
for an emergency down the road....mostly thinking medical since once he
dropped out of college he was no longer covered on our insurance. Or, if he
needed a loan for car repairs we could lend it to him from his own money
;-)
The small rent payment and responsibility toward other things was enough to
keep him having to watch his money but not breaking his bank. We didn't
want to force him cold turkey into the real world, but wanted to make sure
he knew it wasn't a free ride.
~August



"Mordido" wrote in message
om...
My son's almost 19. He's dropping out of college near the end of his
freshman year. He was told that as long as he was in school, he'd not
be charged room & board. Now he's quiting school, has a job at $8.50
an hour cooking for a steakhouse and working full time. That's about
$340 a week gross, about $272 net, and about $1088 a month net. Can
anyone provide some insight on charging him room & board, i.e. do I
charge a percentage or what would be fair. He's my son and I don't
mind feeding him and helping him out, but I feel it doesn't help him
to not charge him room & board because in the real world things just
aren't that simple and easy. I want him to get an idea of what it'll
be like when he gets his own place and has to pay rent, food,
utilities, clothing, haircuts, etc--all out of his own money, which
until recently his mother and I have taken care of. So, if someone
can find the time, please advise on how much or how my wife and I
should go about charging our 19-year-old son for room and board.

P.S. To get an idea of the cost of living, we live outside
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

We had the exact same situation. 18 1/2 years old and working in the
kitchen of a steak house. Working slightly less than full time though and
making less that $8.00 an hour so his take home pay was less than your
son's.
We charged our son $50 a week for room and board and stopped buying his
clothes and paying his car insurance. We would treat him when he went out
with us as a family, he could eat with the rest of the family & raid the
cupboards for snacks but if he did something like fry up a pound of bacon
for a midnight snack he had to replace it.
We took all the money he gave us and put it in savings in case he needed it
for an emergency down the road....mostly thinking medical since once he
dropped out of college he was no longer covered on our insurance. Or, if he
needed a loan for car repairs we could lend it to him from his own money
;-)
The small rent payment and responsibility toward other things was enough to
keep him having to watch his money but not breaking his bank. We didn't
want to force him cold turkey into the real world, but wanted to make sure
he knew it wasn't a free ride.
~August



"Mordido" wrote in message
om...
My son's almost 19. He's dropping out of college near the end of his
freshman year. He was told that as long as he was in school, he'd not
be charged room & board. Now he's quiting school, has a job at $8.50
an hour cooking for a steakhouse and working full time. That's about
$340 a week gross, about $272 net, and about $1088 a month net. Can
anyone provide some insight on charging him room & board, i.e. do I
charge a percentage or what would be fair. He's my son and I don't
mind feeding him and helping him out, but I feel it doesn't help him
to not charge him room & board because in the real world things just
aren't that simple and easy. I want him to get an idea of what it'll
be like when he gets his own place and has to pay rent, food,
utilities, clothing, haircuts, etc--all out of his own money, which
until recently his mother and I have taken care of. So, if someone
can find the time, please advise on how much or how my wife and I
should go about charging our 19-year-old son for room and board.

P.S. To get an idea of the cost of living, we live outside
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

We had the exact same situation. 18 1/2 years old and working in the
kitchen of a steak house. Working slightly less than full time though and
making less that $8.00 an hour so his take home pay was less than your
son's.
We charged our son $50 a week for room and board and stopped buying his
clothes and paying his car insurance. We would treat him when he went out
with us as a family, he could eat with the rest of the family & raid the
cupboards for snacks but if he did something like fry up a pound of bacon
for a midnight snack he had to replace it.
We took all the money he gave us and put it in savings in case he needed it
for an emergency down the road....mostly thinking medical since once he
dropped out of college he was no longer covered on our insurance. Or, if he
needed a loan for car repairs we could lend it to him from his own money
;-)
The small rent payment and responsibility toward other things was enough to
keep him having to watch his money but not breaking his bank. We didn't
want to force him cold turkey into the real world, but wanted to make sure
he knew it wasn't a free ride.
~August



"Mordido" wrote in message
om...
My son's almost 19. He's dropping out of college near the end of his
freshman year. He was told that as long as he was in school, he'd not
be charged room & board. Now he's quiting school, has a job at $8.50
an hour cooking for a steakhouse and working full time. That's about
$340 a week gross, about $272 net, and about $1088 a month net. Can
anyone provide some insight on charging him room & board, i.e. do I
charge a percentage or what would be fair. He's my son and I don't
mind feeding him and helping him out, but I feel it doesn't help him
to not charge him room & board because in the real world things just
aren't that simple and easy. I want him to get an idea of what it'll
be like when he gets his own place and has to pay rent, food,
utilities, clothing, haircuts, etc--all out of his own money, which
until recently his mother and I have taken care of. So, if someone
can find the time, please advise on how much or how my wife and I
should go about charging our 19-year-old son for room and board.

P.S. To get an idea of the cost of living, we live outside
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

"August" wrote:

We had the exact same situation. 18 1/2 years old and working in the
kitchen of a steak house. Working slightly less than full time though and
making less that $8.00 an hour so his take home pay was less than your
son's.
We charged our son $50 a week for room and board and stopped buying his
clothes and paying his car insurance. We would treat him when he went out
with us as a family, he could eat with the rest of the family & raid the
cupboards for snacks but if he did something like fry up a pound of bacon
for a midnight snack he had to replace it.
We took all the money he gave us and put it in savings in case he needed it
for an emergency down the road....mostly thinking medical since once he
dropped out of college he was no longer covered on our insurance. Or, if he
needed a loan for car repairs we could lend it to him from his own money
;-)
The small rent payment and responsibility toward other things was enough to
keep him having to watch his money but not breaking his bank. We didn't
want to force him cold turkey into the real world, but wanted to make sure
he knew it wasn't a free ride.
~August


Sounds quite loving and intelligent. A good solution.

Best,

Bob


Robert A. Fink, M. D., President
California Parents United, Inc.

"The best parent is both parents...."

"August" wrote:

We had the exact same situation. 18 1/2 years old and working in the
kitchen of a steak house. Working slightly less than full time though and
making less that $8.00 an hour so his take home pay was less than your
son's.
We charged our son $50 a week for room and board and stopped buying his
clothes and paying his car insurance. We would treat him when he went out
with us as a family, he could eat with the rest of the family & raid the
cupboards for snacks but if he did something like fry up a pound of bacon
for a midnight snack he had to replace it.
We took all the money he gave us and put it in savings in case he needed it
for an emergency down the road....mostly thinking medical since once he
dropped out of college he was no longer covered on our insurance. Or, if he
needed a loan for car repairs we could lend it to him from his own money
;-)
The small rent payment and responsibility toward other things was enough to
keep him having to watch his money but not breaking his bank. We didn't
want to force him cold turkey into the real world, but wanted to make sure
he knew it wasn't a free ride.
~August


Sounds quite loving and intelligent. A good solution.

Best,

Bob


Robert A. Fink, M. D., President
California Parents United, Inc.

"The best parent is both parents...."

"August" wrote:

We had the exact same situation. 18 1/2 years old and working in the
kitchen of a steak house. Working slightly less than full time though and
making less that $8.00 an hour so his take home pay was less than your
son's.
We charged our son $50 a week for room and board and stopped buying his
clothes and paying his car insurance. We would treat him when he went out
with us as a family, he could eat with the rest of the family & raid the
cupboards for snacks but if he did something like fry up a pound of bacon
for a midnight snack he had to replace it.
We took all the money he gave us and put it in savings in case he needed it
for an emergency down the road....mostly thinking medical since once he
dropped out of college he was no longer covered on our insurance. Or, if he
needed a loan for car repairs we could lend it to him from his own money
;-)
The small rent payment and responsibility toward other things was enough to
keep him having to watch his money but not breaking his bank. We didn't
want to force him cold turkey into the real world, but wanted to make sure
he knew it wasn't a free ride.
~August


Sounds quite loving and intelligent. A good solution.

Best,

Bob


Robert A. Fink, M. D., President
California Parents United, Inc.

"The best parent is both parents...."

Mordido wrote:

My son's almost 19. He's dropping out of college near the end of his
freshman year. He was told that as long as he was in school, he'd not
be charged room & board. Now he's quiting school, has a job at $8.50
an hour cooking for a steakhouse and working full time. That's about
$340 a week gross, about $272 net, and about $1088 a month net. Can
anyone provide some insight on charging him room & board, i.e. do I
charge a percentage or what would be fair. He's my son and I don't
mind feeding him and helping him out, but I feel it doesn't help him
to not charge him room & board because in the real world things just
aren't that simple and easy. I want him to get an idea of what it'll
be like when he gets his own place and has to pay rent, food,
utilities, clothing, haircuts, etc--all out of his own money, which
until recently his mother and I have taken care of. So, if someone
can find the time, please advise on how much or how my wife and I
should go about charging our 19-year-old son for room and board.

P.S. To get an idea of the cost of living, we live outside
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

That's a tough one. He may be counting on your blood ties to shelter him
from the real world indefinitely. That's my hunch here, anyway.

I have a friend whose parents are like this, with his two siblings. They
rent the upstairs apartments in the house the parents own, for a
ridiculously low amount ($300 per month, and this is in one of the most
expensive towns in the state). The real kicker is that they and their
spouses fight and fight and fight, beyond anything anyone would imagine
to be reasonable, about trivialities. It's gotten to the point where the
police have had to be called about the disturbances. Every once in a
while one of them will threaten to LEAVE if the parents don't kick the
other sibling out, which of course they never do because nowhere else
will give them such a sweet deal on rent. Meanwhile the parents have to
deal with this insanity on a daily basis. My friend gets caught in the
middle during the frequent spats when everyone tries to call him at once
and get him on "their side". He tends to side with his poor parents, who
have dug their own hole with good intentions and enabled two of their
kids to turn the house into a looney bin of pointless confrontation.

I say, find out how much rents go for in your area, and charge him based
on that. If you want to be nice about it, charge him on the low end of
average. And make his life just a little bit uncomfortable -- sounds
like he needs to have a *reason* to get with the program and support
himself, or he won't.

Reminds me of my ex, actually.

- Ron ^*^

Mordido wrote:

My son's almost 19. He's dropping out of college near the end of his
freshman year. He was told that as long as he was in school, he'd not
be charged room & board. Now he's quiting school, has a job at $8.50
an hour cooking for a steakhouse and working full time. That's about
$340 a week gross, about $272 net, and about $1088 a month net. Can
anyone provide some insight on charging him room & board, i.e. do I
charge a percentage or what would be fair. He's my son and I don't
mind feeding him and helping him out, but I feel it doesn't help him
to not charge him room & board because in the real world things just
aren't that simple and easy. I want him to get an idea of what it'll
be like when he gets his own place and has to pay rent, food,
utilities, clothing, haircuts, etc--all out of his own money, which
until recently his mother and I have taken care of. So, if someone
can find the time, please advise on how much or how my wife and I
should go about charging our 19-year-old son for room and board.

P.S. To get an idea of the cost of living, we live outside
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

That's a tough one. He may be counting on your blood ties to shelter him
from the real world indefinitely. That's my hunch here, anyway.

I have a friend whose parents are like this, with his two siblings. They
rent the upstairs apartments in the house the parents own, for a
ridiculously low amount ($300 per month, and this is in one of the most
expensive towns in the state). The real kicker is that they and their
spouses fight and fight and fight, beyond anything anyone would imagine
to be reasonable, about trivialities. It's gotten to the point where the
police have had to be called about the disturbances. Every once in a
while one of them will threaten to LEAVE if the parents don't kick the
other sibling out, which of course they never do because nowhere else
will give them such a sweet deal on rent. Meanwhile the parents have to
deal with this insanity on a daily basis. My friend gets caught in the
middle during the frequent spats when everyone tries to call him at once
and get him on "their side". He tends to side with his poor parents, who
have dug their own hole with good intentions and enabled two of their
kids to turn the house into a looney bin of pointless confrontation.

I say, find out how much rents go for in your area, and charge him based
on that. If you want to be nice about it, charge him on the low end of
average. And make his life just a little bit uncomfortable -- sounds
like he needs to have a *reason* to get with the program and support
himself, or he won't.

Reminds me of my ex, actually.

- Ron ^*^

Mordido wrote:

My son's almost 19. He's dropping out of college near the end of his
freshman year. He was told that as long as he was in school, he'd not
be charged room & board. Now he's quiting school, has a job at $8.50
an hour cooking for a steakhouse and working full time. That's about
$340 a week gross, about $272 net, and about $1088 a month net. Can
anyone provide some insight on charging him room & board, i.e. do I
charge a percentage or what would be fair. He's my son and I don't
mind feeding him and helping him out, but I feel it doesn't help him
to not charge him room & board because in the real world things just
aren't that simple and easy. I want him to get an idea of what it'll
be like when he gets his own place and has to pay rent, food,
utilities, clothing, haircuts, etc--all out of his own money, which
until recently his mother and I have taken care of. So, if someone
can find the time, please advise on how much or how my wife and I
should go about charging our 19-year-old son for room and board.

P.S. To get an idea of the cost of living, we live outside
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

That's a tough one. He may be counting on your blood ties to shelter him
from the real world indefinitely. That's my hunch here, anyway.

I have a friend whose parents are like this, with his two siblings. They
rent the upstairs apartments in the house the parents own, for a
ridiculously low amount ($300 per month, and this is in one of the most
expensive towns in the state). The real kicker is that they and their
spouses fight and fight and fight, beyond anything anyone would imagine
to be reasonable, about trivialities. It's gotten to the point where the
police have had to be called about the disturbances. Every once in a
while one of them will threaten to LEAVE if the parents don't kick the
other sibling out, which of course they never do because nowhere else
will give them such a sweet deal on rent. Meanwhile the parents have to
deal with this insanity on a daily basis. My friend gets caught in the
middle during the frequent spats when everyone tries to call him at once
and get him on "their side". He tends to side with his poor parents, who
have dug their own hole with good intentions and enabled two of their
kids to turn the house into a looney bin of pointless confrontation.

I say, find out how much rents go for in your area, and charge him based
on that. If you want to be nice about it, charge him on the low end of
average. And make his life just a little bit uncomfortable -- sounds
like he needs to have a *reason* to get with the program and support
himself, or he won't.

Reminds me of my ex, actually.

- Ron ^*^