Push presents...?

Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to
me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a
couple of months ago.

Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their
wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.

My husband asked me what I might want...I'm not a big jewelry junkie
so I really don't know. hmmmm.....

Here's an article about it that's on Fox News website:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
'Push Presents' Expected From Expectant Fathers
By Catherine Donaldson-Evans

Men who thought their lavish-jewelry duties were over after they
purchased the engagement ring might get a shock when their babies are
born. That's when it's time to shop for the "push present.

But a bouquet of flowers won't usually cut it. Nowadays, many husbands
are expected to buy expensive presents to thank their wives for
dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.

The latest gift-giving occasion is just one more for men to add to
their list -- along with Valentine's Day (search), birthdays, holidays
and the all-important anniversary.

"My husband does not believe in jewelry, so I saw it as the perfect
opportunity to cash in on the whole societal pressure thing," laughed
Seattle mom Julie Leitner, 32, who got a white gold and diamond
bracelet in the $800-$1,500 price range when her daughter was born.

Push presents, which are usually jewelry but don't have to be, have
gained popularity in the last few years. Once one new mother gets such
a gift, her friends embrace the trend and pass the word on to their
hubbies.

"I'd been told by so many people that you're supposed to get one that
I just assumed it was the norm," said Leitner.

But many men are clueless about the concept. Some aren't even very
involved in buying the actual present.

"I wouldn't necessarily say the gift was from me," said Bruce Owen,
35, of Oakland, Calif. "[My wife] picked it out. She bought it. It was
more as if I didn't have a choice."

Owen said he didn't mind saying yes to the "baby bauble" -- a pair of
diamond-cluster earrings that cost a couple of thousand dollars --
when his 2 1/2-year-old daughter was born.

"I recognized the incredible sacrifice and difficulty of carrying a
baby for nine months," said the real estate professional.

The tradition of husbands giving their wives gifts to commemorate the
birth of a baby has some longstanding cultural roots. In England
(search), the man is expected to buy the woman an elegant ring. In
India (search), a husband bestows a set of gold jewelry upon his wife
-- offering more elaborate baubles for boy babies than girls. And
recently, some of those customs have made their way over to the U.S.

The British husband of Philadelphia mom Miryam Roddy was the one to
introduce her to the idea of birth jewelry after she had their
1-year-old daughter.

"That's the way things are done in England," said Roddy, 37, who got a
gold and diamond ring. "First he got me a rose with a little note. A
day or two later, he brought me the ring. It was such a surprise. I
didn't expect anything else."

Roddy balked at the notion of spending big money on baby baubles, and
even told her husband she hoped he hadn't dropped a bundle.

"To spend thousands of dollars on something is ridiculous," she said.
"In my mind, that's money better saved for the child's education."

Etiquette expert Pamela Holland said that unlike other gift-giving
situations, this one shouldn't have set guidelines.

"The standard is that there is no standard," she said. "It does make
sense to have etiquette around wedding or baby shower gifts because
you're inviting other people into it. But this is far too intimate to
have a rule."

In that vein, the push-present practice is passed along mainly by
word-of-mouth.

"There isn't a book or rule guide considered universal on the issue of
gift-giving at the birth of a child," said Holland. "It's like any
trend -- you hear of it, a wife mentions it to a husband and then it
gets spread down to generations."

Owen's wife, for instance, learned of the custom from her female
friends.

"It was a peer build-up with all the other ladies talking about this,"
said Owen. "It became, 'What did you get?' so obviously something had
to be done."

But the peer pressure isn't confined to groups of women. Men have also
been known to rib each other about push presents.

One New York City mom said that's what happened to her hedge-fund
analyst husband after their son was born.

"He was kind of hazed at work for not getting me anything," said the
32-year-old investment banker. "So he said, 'Do you want diamond
earrings or a weekend away?' I've never been a big jewelry person. I
picked a weekend away."

Not surprisingly, a couple's financial situation is a big factor in
deciding how to handle the push present. But budget aside, it's often
just a simple gesture of appreciation that really counts.

"My sister suggested [expensive jewelry], and I told her she was
nuts," said UPS driver Mike Compierchio, 36, of Verona, N.J., who has
a 7-month-old baby girl. "We didn't have the money to spend on some
extravagant gift. [My wife] thought it was a silly idea too. So I got
her flowers when she was in the hospital."

"Carla" wrote in message
...
Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to
me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a
couple of months ago.

Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their
wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.

My husband asked me what I might want...I'm not a big jewelry junkie
so I really don't know. hmmmm.....


My hubby shocked me with a diamond bracelet and earrings a few days after
Laszlo was born. I was in complete shock. My brother bought my sister in
law jewelry after each kid. I think it's pretty common around these parts.
He was so enamored with me after watching me go through labor and deliver
our son...too bad that didn't last for long!

I've got my eye on this embroidery sewing machine that hubster already said
I could get, so I'm going to take advantage once I'm settled with Lily and
perhaps once we're in the new house. I'll get a LOT more use out of that
than jewelry! I'm not a real jewelry person - unless of course he wants to
surprise me with a 5 carat rock!

:-)

- Jen

"Carla" wrote in message
...
Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to
me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a
couple of months ago.

Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their
wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.

My husband asked me what I might want...I'm not a big jewelry junkie
so I really don't know. hmmmm.....


I have never heard the term "push present" but I do know that it's not
unheard of for a husband to buy his wife a piece of jewelery to commemorate
the day.

If he's offering... why not take it? Even if you aren't a jewellery person,
it would be a heart-stopping wedding gift for your daughter ("This is the
bracelet that your father gave me on the day you were born... sniff
sniff).

Pregnancy makes me sentimental.

Donna

"New York Jen" wrote in message
et...

My hubby shocked me with a diamond bracelet and earrings a few days after
Laszlo was born.

That is wonderful!!!!

DH gave me a gorgeous antique gold locket with a blurry OR snap of our
daughter in her first moments tucked into it. I get choked up just
thinking about it.

Donna

Carla wrote:

Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to
me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a
couple of months ago.

Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their
wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.



Sounds like another marketing ploy to me to get people
to spend even more money that they don't have. Does
Hallmark have a card for it yet? DId she get him an
exopensive gift for impregnating her? Jeezum!

gloria p

Carla wrote:
Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to
me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a
couple of months ago.



I've never heard it called a "push present", but I've certainly heard of
it. It's nothing new, though - giving a piece of expensive jewelry when
a baby is born is a pretty old-fashioned custom.

Clisby

Donna wrote:
If he's offering... why not take it? Even if you aren't a
jewellery person, it would be a heart-stopping wedding gift for
your daughter ("This is the bracelet that your father gave me on
the day you were born... sniff sniff).

If it's all the same to you, I'd rather have a Mazda Rx8 or, better yet, an
Audi TT...
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [2] mom)

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

"Circe" wrote in message
news:2yt4c.22717$BA.11184@fed1read03...
Donna wrote:
If he's offering... why not take it? Even if you aren't a
jewellery person, it would be a heart-stopping wedding gift for
your daughter ("This is the bracelet that your father gave me on
the day you were born... sniff sniff).

If it's all the same to you, I'd rather have a Mazda Rx8 or, better yet,
an
Audi TT...

Heh.

Considering what my poor husband has had to go through, supporting me
through multiple complicated pregnancies, I think he and I are pretty much
even. He owes me nothing.

--angela

Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to
me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a
couple of months ago.

I got my "push gift" at 6 months! I was having a hard time dealing
with work and being pregnant, and my husband wanted to surprise me
instead of waiting until he knew I would be expecting something. I
wasn't "expecting" a present, but we had joked a lot about it so he
got me a diamond necklace that I had been eyeing for months. I was so
surprised! He gave it to me after a shower we attended together. It
was soooo sweet. Now, of course, with him staying home, we have no $,
so it will be awhile before I get another gift that nice. It was a
decision we made together to be short on money in exchange for him
staying home, and that is invaluable.

Some folks couldn't care less for that type of stuff . . . just like
the "2 months salary" and the "right hand diamond ring" it is a
marketing thing for diamond companies I think.

Carla wrote in message . ..
Has anyone ever heard of these? My husband actually mentioned it to
me (his mistake), he had read about it in the Wall Street Journal a
couple of months ago.

Apparently it's an 'expensive' gift usually jewelry, to thank their
wives for dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.

My husband asked me what I might want...I'm not a big jewelry junkie
so I really don't know. hmmmm.....

Here's an article about it that's on Fox News website:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
'Push Presents' Expected From Expectant Fathers
By Catherine Donaldson-Evans

Men who thought their lavish-jewelry duties were over after they
purchased the engagement ring might get a shock when their babies are
born. That's when it's time to shop for the "push present.

But a bouquet of flowers won't usually cut it. Nowadays, many husbands
are expected to buy expensive presents to thank their wives for
dealing with pregnancy and "pushing" through labor.

The latest gift-giving occasion is just one more for men to add to
their list -- along with Valentine's Day (search), birthdays, holidays
and the all-important anniversary.

"My husband does not believe in jewelry, so I saw it as the perfect
opportunity to cash in on the whole societal pressure thing," laughed
Seattle mom Julie Leitner, 32, who got a white gold and diamond
bracelet in the $800-$1,500 price range when her daughter was born.

Push presents, which are usually jewelry but don't have to be, have
gained popularity in the last few years. Once one new mother gets such
a gift, her friends embrace the trend and pass the word on to their
hubbies.

"I'd been told by so many people that you're supposed to get one that
I just assumed it was the norm," said Leitner.

But many men are clueless about the concept. Some aren't even very
involved in buying the actual present.

"I wouldn't necessarily say the gift was from me," said Bruce Owen,
35, of Oakland, Calif. "[My wife] picked it out. She bought it. It was
more as if I didn't have a choice."

Owen said he didn't mind saying yes to the "baby bauble" -- a pair of
diamond-cluster earrings that cost a couple of thousand dollars --
when his 2 1/2-year-old daughter was born.

"I recognized the incredible sacrifice and difficulty of carrying a
baby for nine months," said the real estate professional.

The tradition of husbands giving their wives gifts to commemorate the
birth of a baby has some longstanding cultural roots. In England
(search), the man is expected to buy the woman an elegant ring. In
India (search), a husband bestows a set of gold jewelry upon his wife
-- offering more elaborate baubles for boy babies than girls. And
recently, some of those customs have made their way over to the U.S.

The British husband of Philadelphia mom Miryam Roddy was the one to
introduce her to the idea of birth jewelry after she had their
1-year-old daughter.

"That's the way things are done in England," said Roddy, 37, who got a
gold and diamond ring. "First he got me a rose with a little note. A
day or two later, he brought me the ring. It was such a surprise. I
didn't expect anything else."

Roddy balked at the notion of spending big money on baby baubles, and
even told her husband she hoped he hadn't dropped a bundle.

"To spend thousands of dollars on something is ridiculous," she said.
"In my mind, that's money better saved for the child's education."

Etiquette expert Pamela Holland said that unlike other gift-giving
situations, this one shouldn't have set guidelines.

"The standard is that there is no standard," she said. "It does make
sense to have etiquette around wedding or baby shower gifts because
you're inviting other people into it. But this is far too intimate to
have a rule."

In that vein, the push-present practice is passed along mainly by
word-of-mouth.

"There isn't a book or rule guide considered universal on the issue of
gift-giving at the birth of a child," said Holland. "It's like any
trend -- you hear of it, a wife mentions it to a husband and then it
gets spread down to generations."

Owen's wife, for instance, learned of the custom from her female
friends.

"It was a peer build-up with all the other ladies talking about this,"
said Owen. "It became, 'What did you get?' so obviously something had
to be done."

But the peer pressure isn't confined to groups of women. Men have also
been known to rib each other about push presents.

One New York City mom said that's what happened to her hedge-fund
analyst husband after their son was born.

"He was kind of hazed at work for not getting me anything," said the
32-year-old investment banker. "So he said, 'Do you want diamond
earrings or a weekend away?' I've never been a big jewelry person. I
picked a weekend away."

Not surprisingly, a couple's financial situation is a big factor in
deciding how to handle the push present. But budget aside, it's often
just a simple gesture of appreciation that really counts.

"My sister suggested [expensive jewelry], and I told her she was
nuts," said UPS driver Mike Compierchio, 36, of Verona, N.J., who has
a 7-month-old baby girl. "We didn't have the money to spend on some
extravagant gift. [My wife] thought it was a silly idea too. So I got
her flowers when she was in the hospital."


Never heard of this myself. Sounds pretentious to me, but I generally
think blowing a bundle of money on jewelry is silly (don't get me
wrong...I've drooled over alot of custom designed and antique jewelry,
which is more my thing than a big rock...and I've seen the British
Crown Jewels twice).

I had to groan internally this past Christmas when my MIL "received"
huge diamond earrings from her husband. She acted all surprised and
excited even though she was with him pointing out which ones she
wanted before Christmas. She had the gall to ask how much they
were...she wanted to make sure they were the more expensive ones that
she wanted (which they weren't...which she complained about). And she
wonders why she's at retirement age, her mortgage isn't paid off, and
they can't afford to retire. Okay, that was mostly personal
gripe...sorry.

I have a similar opinion about engagement rings...which I think should
be chosen and presented by the person doing the asking....they are a
gift after all (personal opinion...don't want to argue with others who
have different traditions). Funny thing...my dad surprised my mom
about three years ago with an engagement ring...some 35 years after
they were married. She was shocked and worried he'd spent too much.

aml