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Shared Custody?



 
 
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  #31  
Old May 15th 07, 04:47 PM posted to alt.child-support
Gini
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 936
Default Shared Custody?


"dmr"wrote
"Gini" wrote:
"dmr" wrote
..................

Ok If "A" says to "B" do this to avoid that. "B" accepts the idea and
do this to avoid that
Then I write a post saying that "B" did this to avoid that following
the advice of "A"
IS THAT GUESSING???????????????????????


==
OK, how's this-- Bottom line is that the entire matter is none of your
business?


So when I answer a post sent by someone else is also none of my
business. This is a forum where people should be free to express
themselves about different issues related child-support. You're trying
to stop me from giving my thoughts because according to you is none of
my business? So, we can only expose personal issues here?
Did someone hire you to discourage people from participating in this
forum?
Because I don't accept to be censored, ok? I rather reade someone
saying he doesn't agree with my point of view than someone suggesting
I should not even have one.

==
Really? That's what I suggested?? I suggested that it's (the motivation of
the NCP) is
none of your business. That's *my* opinion. Do you think I should be
sensored
because my opinion is different from yours? No one suggested sensorship.
Sheesh!


  #32  
Old May 15th 07, 07:08 PM posted to alt.child-support
dmr
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 13
Default Shared Custody?

On May 15, 11:47 am, "Gini" wrote:
"dmr"wrote

"Gini" wrote:
"dmr" wrote
..................


Ok If "A" says to "B" do this to avoid that. "B" accepts the idea and
do this to avoid that
Then I write a post saying that "B" did this to avoid that following
the advice of "A"
IS THAT GUESSING???????????????????????


==
OK, how's this-- Bottom line is that the entire matter is none of your
business?


So when I answer a post sent by someone else is also none of my
business. This is a forum where people should be free to express
themselves about different issues related child-support. You're trying
to stop me from giving my thoughts because according to you is none of
my business? So, we can only expose personal issues here?
Did someone hire you to discourage people from participating in this
forum?
Because I don't accept to be censored, ok? I rather reade someone
saying he doesn't agree with my point of view than someone suggesting
I should not even have one.


==
Really? That's what I suggested?? I suggested that it's (the motivation of
the NCP) is
none of your business. That's *my* opinion. Do you think I should be
sensored
because my opinion is different from yours? No one suggested sensorship.
Sheesh!


Honestly, I came here to exchange with other parents. I wanted to know
their point of view and test mine.
I did not expect to have to deal with people like you. It's already
hard enough to be a single parent and I don't need this.
So, keep annoying people as much as you want, since that is your idea
of freedom of speech.
I' m out of this group.

  #33  
Old May 15th 07, 07:46 PM posted to alt.child-support
Gini
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 936
Default Shared Custody?


"dmr" wrote
....................

Honestly, I came here to exchange with other parents. I wanted to know
their point of view and test mine.

==
You got that and didn't like it.
==
I did not expect to have to deal with people like you. It's already
hard enough to be a single parent and I don't need this.
So, keep annoying people as much as you want, since that is your idea
of freedom of speech.
I' m out of this group.

==
What did you expect when you came in here condemning a dad's motivations
while giving mom
a free pass? Dads matter here. If you can't deal with that, you're better
off gone.


  #34  
Old May 16th 07, 05:34 AM posted to alt.child-support
teachrmama
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,905
Default Shared Custody?


"dmr" wrote in message
oups.com...
On May 15, 2:28 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"dmr" wrote in message

ups.com...





On May 15, 12:38 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"dmr" wrote in message


roups.com...


On May 14, 11:40 pm, "teachrmama" wrote:
"dmr" wrote in message


roups.com...


On May 14, 3:19 pm, Werebat wrote:
dmr wrote:
Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that
assume
that mothers can take care better of the children. How many
times
Judges have given full custody to the mother based on
prejudices!
We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for
requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments.


But if CS is all about supporting the children, and the man is
increasing time the children are in his care, he isn't saving
any
money
at all, is he? The extra time with his kids means more money
out
of
his
pocket, which should in theory be equal to the money he is
saving
on
CS,
right?


Unless you admit that CS goes beyond just the expenses of caring
for
the
children, in which case you'd also have to admit that the mother
may
have ulterior financial motives in wanting to keep the kids
full-time.
I'm not sure anyone promoting the court-ordered exchange of
wealth
from
men to women wants to admit to that.


- Ron ^*^


He would be expending as much money if instead of having his
girlfriend taking care of the children, he had to bring them to a
daycare.
As it is now, he's only paying for some extra groceries.
I really don't know what are or would be the mother's motivations
to
have full custody. I don't know her and maybe she's fine with the
shared custody arrangement. All I say is that I don't like the
idea
of
someone (man or woman) requesting shared custody to save money.
I have my children in shared custody and I do so because I cannot
see
myself without the children for too long. I refused two
promotions
because the schedules wouldn't allow me to spend enough time with
the
kids. It has nothing to do with the money.


How do you know that the saving of money was the only thing that
dad
and
girlfriend talked about? Maybe dad had never heard of shared
custody
before, and now here was a chance to spend time with his kids. Did
you
get
this story from a newpaper? Or from another person? How do you
know
that
the motivations attributed to the man are the major reason he asked
for
shared custody? If you don;t even know these people, how on earth
do
you
know that this is true?- Hide quoted text -


- Show quoted text -


Listen, I know these people and I can ensure you money was the
primary
motive for the shared custody.
However, after reading some replies to my initial post I realize
it's
maybe not as bad as I thought after all.
Like John Meyer wrote: "...if somebody THINKS that just by
doing shared custody they will save money, they are in for a world
of
hurt. "


You're not saying that you want him to be "in a world of hurt," are
you?
That would certainly cast some doubt on your motivations for posting
this
story. You say you know these people. Do you have a particular
reason
for
disliking this man?- Hide quoted text -


- Show quoted text -


Please, don't try to guess hidden motivations on people's postings. If
I need a psychologist I will find one myself, capito?


You seem to be guessing at HIS motivations, and stating them as fact.
What's with that?



- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -


Ok If "A" says to "B" do this to avoid that. "B" accepts the idea and
do this to avoid that
Then I write a post saying that "B" did this to avoid that following
the advice of "A"
IS THAT GUESSING???????????????????????


YES!! It IS guessing! Perhaps dad wanted more time with the kid anyway,
but knew NOTHING about shared parenting. Perhaps when girlfriend said "My
ex an I have a shared parenting plan. It saves him a bundle on child
support, and we both get time with the kids," he said "Wow. Shared
parenting. Tell me about it." And she did. And she also said "And you'd
save money, because you wouldn't have to pay for child care. I could watch
the kid." And he said "Wow! Sounds like a win-win situation. I'll try
it." And the judge agreed. You can't say that just because A suggested to
B that he'd save money, that is his sole motivation. Unless he came to you
in person and said "I'm going for shared parenting JUST to save money." Did
he?



  #35  
Old May 16th 07, 05:46 AM posted to alt.child-support
Gini
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 936
Default Shared Custody?


"teachrmama" wrote
.............

YES!! It IS guessing! Perhaps dad wanted more time with the kid anyway,
but knew NOTHING about shared parenting. Perhaps when girlfriend said "My
ex an I have a shared parenting plan. It saves him a bundle on child
support, and we both get time with the kids," he said "Wow. Shared
parenting. Tell me about it." And she did. And she also said "And you'd
save money, because you wouldn't have to pay for child care. I could
watch the kid." And he said "Wow! Sounds like a win-win situation.
I'll try it." And the judge agreed. You can't say that just because A
suggested to B that he'd save money, that is his sole motivation. Unless
he came to you in person and said "I'm going for shared parenting JUST to
save money." Did he?

===
Might as well save your breath. He took his ball and went home--Said we
didn't play nice.


  #36  
Old May 16th 07, 06:10 AM posted to alt.child-support
teachrmama
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,905
Default Shared Custody?


"Gini" wrote in message
news:[email protected]ndny01...

"teachrmama" wrote
............

YES!! It IS guessing! Perhaps dad wanted more time with the kid anyway,
but knew NOTHING about shared parenting. Perhaps when girlfriend said
"My ex an I have a shared parenting plan. It saves him a bundle on child
support, and we both get time with the kids," he said "Wow. Shared
parenting. Tell me about it." And she did. And she also said "And
you'd save money, because you wouldn't have to pay for child care. I
could watch the kid." And he said "Wow! Sounds like a win-win
situation. I'll try it." And the judge agreed. You can't say that just
because A suggested to B that he'd save money, that is his sole
motivation. Unless he came to you in person and said "I'm going for
shared parenting JUST to save money." Did he?

===
Might as well save your breath. He took his ball and went home--Said we
didn't play nice.


Another one who wants everyone to agree with him, it seems. Has he never
made a decision based on a number of factors, rather than just one factor?
Is that why he insists that the guy in his story wanted shared custody ONLY
to save money? Oh, well No great loss, if all he is going to do is ask our
opinions, then rail on us when we don't give back HIS opinion as our own.




  #37  
Old May 16th 07, 07:46 PM posted to alt.child-support
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 22
Default Shared Custody?

On May 14, 4:45 am, dmr wrote:
I don't know how it works in the US, but here in Canada (Quebec to be
more specific) some parents had found a way to save money on child
support that I believe is unfair for the children.

This is a true story:

A man separated from his wife. They have 2 young children of 8 and 4
yrs old. The guy is General Manager at a Sherwin-Williams chemical
coatings store and makes a pretty good salary.
He has little time to spend with the children but giving full custody
to the mother means he will have to pay full child support (Something
like $1200.00 USD per month). So, his new girlfriend who's also
separated and has shared custody, give him the idea:

- Apply for shared custody and convince your ex-wife that it's the
best things for the kids. Don't worries, if you don't have time to
take care of them just leave them with me.

The man managed to get the shared custody, and so reduce considerably
the amount of child support he was going to pay to the mother.

Find the error!


It's been my experience that there are a lot of divorced fathers
looking primarily babysitter girlfriends. And divorced moms looking
for wallet boyfriends.

I'm not too into the leave the kids with the girlfriend/boyfriend
routine and that includes shack-ups. If you have visitation, then u
should spend your time with your kid, not run off to be with your
buddies. Money issues aside, it's not fair to the kid.

  #38  
Old May 16th 07, 10:44 PM posted to alt.child-support
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,421
Default Shared Custody?


"dmr" wrote in message
oups.com...
On May 14, 12:08 pm, magnumpi83 wrote:
On May 14, 11:32 am, "DB" wrote:

"dmr" wrote in


The man managed to get the shared custody, and so reduce

considerably
the amount of child support he was going to pay to the mother.


Find the error!
I see an error when a father to save money, deprive his own children
to see their mother.


So is it the money or time you are concerned about?


IS really the money that bothers you!


You see the problem with the father to save money deprives his own
children to see their mother? Well what about the father? Is it all
right with the mother depriving THEIR children from seeing their
father? How do you know the father is saving money? Maybe he's
spending it directly on the children instead of giving it to the mom
to spend on the children. I think if you take out the outside factors
(meaning the ex's boyfriends and/or girlfriends and money), isn't it
the best for the children to see their father and mother equally?
What they do here in the states is they take the total income by both
parents and determine what percent each parent contributes. Then they
take the percentage overnights the children stay at each parents

home.From their they determine how much support is awarded based on the

standard of living the children are used to before the divorce. So
obviously if he makes more money that the mom he will pay her some
support but not as much because he is now spending it on the children
instead. I think the philosophy were the children should live with the
mom full time and let the dad pay her support is outdated and
sometimes it turns out the dad is a better parent than the mom. I
think the best for the children is a 50/50 split especially if there's
not a lot of distance between them.


I did now start this post with the purpose to criticize fathers who
obtain shared custody of the children. I am a father myself!
I also know that shared custody doesn't mean we have to be always next
to the children when we have them.
If you read my post again, you will understand that in this particular
case, a woman suggest to the guy to request shared custody in order to
save money.
Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that assume
that mothers can take care better of the children. How many times
Judges have given full custody to the mother based on prejudices!
We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for
requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments.


Why not? The primary goal of women rejecting shared custody is to INCREASE
(maximize) "child support" payments.

The
primary goal should be our will to fully participate in our children
care and education.



  #39  
Old May 16th 07, 11:09 PM posted to alt.child-support
Gini
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 936
Default Shared Custody?


"Chris" wrote
..............................
We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for
requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments.


Why not? The primary goal of women rejecting shared custody is to INCREASE
(maximize) "child support" payments.

==
He already rejected that response. He didn't like it. He thinks every NCPs
motives
must be analyzed and found to be acceptable
before custody is shared. CPs motives don't factor in.


 




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