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Shared Custody?



 
 
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  #11  
Old May 14th 07, 04:32 PM posted to alt.child-support
DB
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Posts: 712
Default Shared Custody?


"dmr" wrote in

The man managed to get the shared custody, and so reduce considerably
the amount of child support he was going to pay to the mother.


Find the error!


I see an error when a father to save money, deprive his own children
to see their mother.


So is it the money or time you are concerned about?

IS really the money that bothers you!


  #12  
Old May 14th 07, 04:46 PM posted to alt.child-support
Gini
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Posts: 936
Default Shared Custody?


"DB" wrote

"dmr" wrote in

The man managed to get the shared custody, and so reduce considerably
the amount of child support he was going to pay to the mother.

Find the error!


I see an error when a father to save money, deprive his own children
to see their mother.


So is it the money or time you are concerned about?

IS really the money that bothers you!

==
But, he has "nothing to do with that guy, his ex or his actual girlfriend."
I guess he just
thinks women have the right to deprive children of their fathers and get
paid for doing so.
Sheesh!


  #13  
Old May 14th 07, 04:52 PM posted to alt.child-support
John Meyer[_2_]
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Posts: 92
Default Shared Custody?

Gini wrote:
"DB" wrote
"dmr" wrote in

The man managed to get the shared custody, and so reduce considerably
the amount of child support he was going to pay to the mother.
Find the error!
I see an error when a father to save money, deprive his own children
to see their mother.

So is it the money or time you are concerned about?

IS really the money that bothers you!

==
But, he has "nothing to do with that guy, his ex or his actual girlfriend."
I guess he just
thinks women have the right to deprive children of their fathers and get
paid for doing so.
Sheesh!


Well, in the defense of the original poster, he is in Canada, where they
expect non custodials to rat on themselves in terms of income or pay the
consequences, so that could explain it.
  #14  
Old May 14th 07, 05:08 PM posted to alt.child-support
magnumpi83
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Posts: 5
Default Shared Custody?

On May 14, 11:32 am, "DB" wrote:
"dmr" wrote in

The man managed to get the shared custody, and so reduce considerably
the amount of child support he was going to pay to the mother.


Find the error!

I see an error when a father to save money, deprive his own children
to see their mother.


So is it the money or time you are concerned about?

IS really the money that bothers you!


You see the problem with the father to save money deprives his own
children to see their mother? Well what about the father? Is it all
right with the mother depriving THEIR children from seeing their
father? How do you know the father is saving money? Maybe he's
spending it directly on the children instead of giving it to the mom
to spend on the children. I think if you take out the outside factors
(meaning the ex's boyfriends and/or girlfriends and money), isn't it
the best for the children to see their father and mother equally?
What they do here in the states is they take the total income by both
parents and determine what percent each parent contributes. Then they
take the percentage overnights the children stay at each parents home.
From their they determine how much support is awarded based on the

standard of living the children are used to before the divorce. So
obviously if he makes more money that the mom he will pay her some
support but not as much because he is now spending it on the children
instead. I think the philosophy were the children should live with the
mom full time and let the dad pay her support is outdated and
sometimes it turns out the dad is a better parent than the mom. I
think the best for the children is a 50/50 split especially if there's
not a lot of distance between them.

  #15  
Old May 14th 07, 06:33 PM posted to alt.child-support
Gini
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Posts: 936
Default Shared Custody?


"magnumpi83" wrote
..............................
What they do here in the states is they take the total income by both
parents and determine what percent each parent contributes.

==
Not exactly. Some states do that but others calculate a straight percentage
of the NCPs income.
==


  #16  
Old May 14th 07, 06:40 PM posted to alt.child-support
Bob Whiteside
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Posts: 981
Default Shared Custody?


"dmr" wrote in message
ups.com...
On May 14, 10:02 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"dmr" wrote in message

oups.com...





I don't know how it works in the US, but here in Canada (Quebec to be
more specific) some parents had found a way to save money on child
support that I believe is unfair for the children.


This is a true story:


A man separated from his wife. They have 2 young children of 8 and 4
yrs old. The guy is General Manager at a Sherwin-Williams chemical
coatings store and makes a pretty good salary.
He has little time to spend with the children but giving full custody
to the mother means he will have to pay full child support (Something
like $1200.00 USD per month). So, his new girlfriend who's also
separated and has shared custody, give him the idea:


- Apply for shared custody and convince your ex-wife that it's the
best things for the kids. Don't worries, if you don't have time to
take care of them just leave them with me.


The man managed to get the shared custody, and so reduce considerably
the amount of child support he was going to pay to the mother.


Find the error!


I'm not certain I understand your objection. The children spend equal
amounts of time in each of their parents' homes. Both parents work to
support their children, right? Both parents provide fortheir needs

while
the children are with them, right? And I bet the father still has to

pay
*some* amount of child support, right? BTW--how do you know the father

did
this *just* to save money? Did he tell you so?



I have nothing to do with that guy, his ex or his actual girlfriend.

Now let me understand. Let's say you were that guy: You would be ready
to keep your kids away from their mother simply not to pay full child
support? Do you care about how the child feels about that?


Those types of questions are based on the false assumption parenting time
and money can somehow be viewed as equalizers. CS money is for providing
the care and maintenance of minor children. Parenting time is used for
developing social skills, stretching individual limits, becoming
self-confident, learning teamwork, encouraging academic achievement, etc.

Quite frankly, children learn those lifestyle skills from their fathers so
the more time they spend with their fathers the better. If a father pays a
little less CS because he has increased parenting time that is a good thing
because of what the children receive form the time with their fathers. CS
calculations are based on one parent having the children 100% of the time.
When the other parent has more time with the children it is only reasonable
that the CS amount be adjusted.


  #17  
Old May 14th 07, 06:41 PM posted to alt.child-support
Gini
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 936
Default Shared Custody?


"Bob Whiteside" wrote
.........................

Those types of questions are based on the false assumption parenting time
and money can somehow be viewed as equalizers. CS money is for providing
the care and maintenance of minor children. Parenting time is used for
developing social skills, stretching individual limits, becoming
self-confident, learning teamwork, encouraging academic achievement, etc.

Quite frankly, children learn those lifestyle skills from their fathers so
the more time they spend with their fathers the better. If a father pays
a
little less CS because he has increased parenting time that is a good
thing
because of what the children receive form the time with their fathers.
CS
calculations are based on one parent having the children 100% of the time.
When the other parent has more time with the children it is only
reasonable
that the CS amount be adjusted.

==
Well, it's reasonable to reasonable people.


  #18  
Old May 14th 07, 07:09 PM posted to alt.child-support
dmr
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Posts: 13
Default Shared Custody?

On May 14, 12:08 pm, magnumpi83 wrote:
On May 14, 11:32 am, "DB" wrote:

"dmr" wrote in


The man managed to get the shared custody, and so reduce considerably
the amount of child support he was going to pay to the mother.


Find the error!
I see an error when a father to save money, deprive his own children
to see their mother.


So is it the money or time you are concerned about?


IS really the money that bothers you!


You see the problem with the father to save money deprives his own
children to see their mother? Well what about the father? Is it all
right with the mother depriving THEIR children from seeing their
father? How do you know the father is saving money? Maybe he's
spending it directly on the children instead of giving it to the mom
to spend on the children. I think if you take out the outside factors
(meaning the ex's boyfriends and/or girlfriends and money), isn't it
the best for the children to see their father and mother equally?
What they do here in the states is they take the total income by both
parents and determine what percent each parent contributes. Then they
take the percentage overnights the children stay at each parents home.From their they determine how much support is awarded based on the

standard of living the children are used to before the divorce. So
obviously if he makes more money that the mom he will pay her some
support but not as much because he is now spending it on the children
instead. I think the philosophy were the children should live with the
mom full time and let the dad pay her support is outdated and
sometimes it turns out the dad is a better parent than the mom. I
think the best for the children is a 50/50 split especially if there's
not a lot of distance between them.


I did now start this post with the purpose to criticize fathers who
obtain shared custody of the children. I am a father myself!
I also know that shared custody doesn't mean we have to be always next
to the children when we have them.
If you read my post again, you will understand that in this particular
case, a woman suggest to the guy to request shared custody in order to
save money.
Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that assume
that mothers can take care better of the children. How many times
Judges have given full custody to the mother based on prejudices!
We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for
requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments. The
primary goal should be our will to fully participate in our children
care and education.

  #19  
Old May 14th 07, 08:19 PM posted to alt.child-support
Werebat
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 114
Default Shared Custody?



dmr wrote:


Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that assume
that mothers can take care better of the children. How many times
Judges have given full custody to the mother based on prejudices!
We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for
requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments.


But if CS is all about supporting the children, and the man is
increasing time the children are in his care, he isn't saving any money
at all, is he? The extra time with his kids means more money out of his
pocket, which should in theory be equal to the money he is saving on CS,
right?

Unless you admit that CS goes beyond just the expenses of caring for the
children, in which case you'd also have to admit that the mother may
have ulterior financial motives in wanting to keep the kids full-time.
I'm not sure anyone promoting the court-ordered exchange of wealth from
men to women wants to admit to that.

- Ron ^*^

  #20  
Old May 14th 07, 09:03 PM posted to alt.child-support
dmr
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 13
Default Shared Custody?

On May 14, 3:19 pm, Werebat wrote:
dmr wrote:
Now, as fathers we have been victims of the stereotype that assume
that mothers can take care better of the children. How many times
Judges have given full custody to the mother based on prejudices!
We won't be helping our cause though, if the primary goal for
requesting shared custody is to reduce child support payments.


But if CS is all about supporting the children, and the man is
increasing time the children are in his care, he isn't saving any money
at all, is he? The extra time with his kids means more money out of his
pocket, which should in theory be equal to the money he is saving on CS,
right?

Unless you admit that CS goes beyond just the expenses of caring for the
children, in which case you'd also have to admit that the mother may
have ulterior financial motives in wanting to keep the kids full-time.
I'm not sure anyone promoting the court-ordered exchange of wealth from
men to women wants to admit to that.

- Ron ^*^


He would be expending as much money if instead of having his
girlfriend taking care of the children, he had to bring them to a
daycare.
As it is now, he's only paying for some extra groceries.
I really don't know what are or would be the mother's motivations to
have full custody. I don't know her and maybe she's fine with the
shared custody arrangement. All I say is that I don't like the idea of
someone (man or woman) requesting shared custody to save money.
I have my children in shared custody and I do so because I cannot see
myself without the children for too long. I refused two promotions
because the schedules wouldn't allow me to spend enough time with the
kids. It has nothing to do with the money.

 




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