Frustrated about nursing toddler (VENT)

Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing?

We were away visiting friends this weekend and DD (18 months), who was
cutting a molar and feeling a little out of sorts nursed constantly. And I
mean constantly. So much that I'm quite sore now. For most of the weekend,
I was wishing she wasn't still nursing. It seemed like every 10 minutes,
she was back on the breast. I know I should be happy that she has this
source of comfort, and I understand completely that DD, who is very shy and
routine oriented, was out of sorts. But I still feel this way. I'll
probably be over it tomorrow, but we're going away on a longer trip soon and
I'm really dreading it.

It'd be one thing if it was keeping her happy, but she still throws little
tantrums when I won't let her fall of the dock/play in the garbage bin/all
the other things that go with not being in a 100% childproof environment.

Nancy

"Nancy P" wrote in message
...
It'd be one thing if it was keeping her happy, but she still throws little
tantrums when I won't let her fall of the dock/play in the garbage bin/all
the other things that go with not being in a 100% childproof environment.

At that point (not really wanting to BF anymore), I decided to wean
completely. I solved the not 100% childproof tantrum problem by 100%
childproofing, then letting DS run wild. Some people would disagree, but I
think my sanity is more important.

"toypup" wrote in message
news:sGV4b.329007$YN5.227498@sccrnsc01...

"Nancy P" wrote in message
...
At that point (not really wanting to BF anymore), I decided to wean
completely. I solved the not 100% childproof tantrum problem by 100%
childproofing, then letting DS run wild. Some people would disagree, but
I
think my sanity is more important.

Two things. How did you wean? DD is somewhat assertive about it, and while
I'm not sure I want to wean (especially after a good night's sleep), I'm
afraid it could be traumatic.

The other thing is that my house is totally childproofed, but what do I do
when I go places? I've pretty much tried to limit myself to playgrounds and
other people with small children's houses, but we have to visit relatives,
etc. sometimes.

Nancy

"Al Bell" wrote in message
...
"Nancy P" writes:

Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing?

I'm sure every honest mom sometimes wishes she weren't still nursing. But
think how blessed you are that your milk has lasted 18 months. Hope mine
does.

Thanks AL. I do feel blessed that I have been able to, adn that my daughter
is so close to me.

Nancy

"Nancy P" wrote in message
...
Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing?


Honestly, I have also reached a point where, mostly, enough is enough.


We were away visiting friends this weekend and DD (18 months), who was
cutting a molar and feeling a little out of sorts nursed constantly. And
I
mean constantly. So much that I'm quite sore now. For most of the
weekend,
I was wishing she wasn't still nursing. It seemed like every 10 minutes,
she was back on the breast. I know I should be happy that she has this
source of comfort, and I understand completely that DD, who is very shy
and
routine oriented, was out of sorts. But I still feel this way. I'll
probably be over it tomorrow, but we're going away on a longer trip soon
and
I'm really dreading it.

It'd be one thing if it was keeping her happy, but she still throws little
tantrums when I won't let her fall of the dock/play in the garbage bin/all
the other things that go with not being in a 100% childproof environment.

Nancy

I have done the same thing as someone else here has said. Babyproof until
there is nothing they can do/get into and just let them go. Much less
stressful on everyone involved. I am still getting really tired of nursing,
right now. DS is 29 months, and somedays I just want to scream when he has
nursed for the 60th odd time that day. (not really that much, but it feels
like it). I have noticed that most of the frustrating occurs when he is
nursing to sleep, and just isn't interested in sleeping. Instead he'll stick
his hand in my mouth, or play with my hair, or whatever. I have a necklace
he has played with since birth, but sometimes that just isn't enough. HTH
you feel less alone in this. Good luck in deciding what you are going to do.

Roseann

Sometime around 18mos-2yrs I was getting really frustrated with nursing.
The frequency was really hampering our ability to do anything else
during the day, whether trying to get out of the house, or do some
baking or craft, whatever. So I started delaying and sort of scheduling
nursings, by saying things like "we'll get bb again after breakfast"
linking it to a specific sort of time or event that he could count on
(as they can't tell time yet, link it to an event they know is going to
happen.) Ds was fine with it, as long as he was able to understand and
look forward to knowing when he could nurse again.

By the time he was 2 1/2, I think we were down to just 4 times a day,
before and after nap and to bed at night/waking in the morning. Near age
3 I insisted on dropping the two waking up nursings because it was
turning into the same frustration as before, we could never get out of
bed, it was turning into a lot of fighting and arguing just to get up in
the morning and the afternoon. (I also miscarried and was too tired to
nurse even those 4 times for a few days.) So I cut it down to the 2
before sleep nursings and have stuck with that and am perfectly happy
with the arrangement. Ds rarely asks to nurse more than that, and if he
does I remind him when we will nurse and find something else for him to do.

In fact, I'm afraid to give up the pre-nap nursing, as I'm sure he'll
just stop napping all together. He sleeps for 2-3 hours, so I know he
still really needs that nap on a regular basis. But if we're out at nap
time, he will fall asleep in the car seat or stroller without nursing.

I guess what I'm saying is I definitely understand your frustration, and
would like to offer up the idea that it doesn't have to be all or
nothing. When your child has been nursing on demand for a year and a
half or two years, I don't see anything wrong with gently cutting back
and allowing yourself to meet your own needs at this point. With your
guidance and respect both yourself and for the times that are most
important for your child, you can cut back on nursing frequency so
you're not so frustrated about it and your child still gets some of that
comfort and nutrition. My ds is 3yr 3 mos and we're still nursing, but
it's not running our lives anymore, which was perfectly appropriate when
he was an infant, but as a toddler/preschooler, there are other things
that need to have priority for your child and for you, but you can still
continue on a limited basis. That's what works for us at this point, anyway.

-Karen, mom to Henry 3-

Nancy P wrote:
Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing?

Of course not. I've wished that, off and on, from the time my son
was, oh, 2 weeks old.


Clisby

"Nancy P" wrote in message
news

"toypup" wrote in message
news:sGV4b.329007$YN5.227498@sccrnsc01...

"Nancy P" wrote in message
...
At that point (not really wanting to BF anymore), I decided to wean
completely. I solved the not 100% childproof tantrum problem by 100%
childproofing, then letting DS run wild. Some people would disagree,
but
I
think my sanity is more important.

Two things. How did you wean? DD is somewhat assertive about it, and
while
I'm not sure I want to wean (especially after a good night's sleep), I'm
afraid it could be traumatic.

I started early (12 months) but did it ever so gradually that by the time I
decided to cut it out completely, DS was nursing less than once a day. He
nursed every night I was home, but when I worked (three nights a week), DH
put him to bed and he didn't nurse. So, when I decided to wean completely
(21 months), it happened to be a week I was working more, so I had DH put DS
to sleep every night for two weeks, even when I was home. That did the
trick. He asked a few times afterwards, but when I refused, he didn't put
up much of a fuss.



The other thing is that my house is totally childproofed, but what do I do
when I go places? I've pretty much tried to limit myself to playgrounds
and
other people with small children's houses, but we have to visit relatives,
etc. sometimes.

Well, I wasn't referring to visiting friends and relatives. We just have to
be extra vigilant. To be honest, the really child-unfriendly homes make me
so tired, I don't really want to visit so often. It's really worse when we
are visiting, not only because it's not childproofed, but because DS likes
to explore anything new, and everything is new wherever we visit. I have to
constantly chase him around. I do bring his own toys from home, but those
do not interest him nearly so much.

"Nancy P" wrote in message ...
Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing?

We were away visiting friends this weekend and DD (18 months), who was
cutting a molar and feeling a little out of sorts nursed constantly. And I
mean constantly. So much that I'm quite sore now. For most of the weekend,
I was wishing she wasn't still nursing. It seemed like every 10 minutes,
she was back on the breast. I know I should be happy that she has this
source of comfort, and I understand completely that DD, who is very shy and
routine oriented, was out of sorts. But I still feel this way. I'll
probably be over it tomorrow, but we're going away on a longer trip soon and
I'm really dreading it.



I do not understand this. I am sure to get completely slammed. And I
do not mean to be critical of you. But what is it about the perception
of a child's need to nurse that supercedes your need to be able to set
your own body's boundaries? If this is a one day thing, and you are
feeling bummed out and want to vent for now and tomorrow you will be
fine, that is one thing. But if you are really dreading the next trip,
it may be time to evaluate your own needs.


It'd be one thing if it was keeping her happy, but she still throws little
tantrums when I won't let her fall of the dock/play in the garbage bin/all
the other things that go with not being in a 100% childproof environment.

Nancy

Are you trying to use nursing as a panacea to not have to deal with
other issues? This is not a good idea. I am not sure what the
relationship is between nursing and a child's desire to explore their
world, but personally I would not try to have nursing placate the
child from tantrums.

What's wrong with childproofing? It was cool with DS, who is now 2y
and 9m, to see gradually how he ceased needing it and being willing to
leave dangerous things alone. Until then, it was a constant battle.

"Stephanie" wrote in message
om...
"Nancy P" wrote in message
...
Am I the only one who sometimes wishes she wasn't still nursing?




I do not understand this. I am sure to get completely slammed. And I
do not mean to be critical of you. But what is it about the perception
of a child's need to nurse that supercedes your need to be able to set
your own body's boundaries? If this is a one day thing, and you are
feeling bummed out and want to vent for now and tomorrow you will be
fine, that is one thing. But if you are really dreading the next trip,
it may be time to evaluate your own needs.


I don't think you should get slammed. We're all entitled to our own
opinions.



Are you trying to use nursing as a panacea to not have to deal with
other issues? This is not a good idea. I am not sure what the
relationship is between nursing and a child's desire to explore their
world, but personally I would not try to have nursing placate the
child from tantrums.

I"m not using nursing as a comfort tool, my DD is. When she's upset she
approaches me to nurse. I thought this was pretty common.


What's wrong with childproofing? It was cool with DS, who is now 2y
and 9m, to see gradually how he ceased needing it and being willing to
leave dangerous things alone. Until then, it was a constant battle.

Nothing's wrong with childproofing. My house is childproofed. But each and
every place I go is not (nor do I expect it to be).

I think, to make a long story short, is that for us, nursing on demand
hasn't diminished. I'm not always thrilled about this. I have been kind of
waiting for it to diminish gradually, as her choice. As today marks the
first time ever she has had 3 meals of real food (as opposed to baby mush &
yogurt), I expect that process will begin.

Nancy