To punish or not to punish

"V" wrote in message

Amen on the therapy!
Whoo hoo. The whole world needs therapy.

No thanks, rather leave it as an American phenominum

Dennis

"denanson" Dennis@Large .ie wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message


Help! I am sitting on this..... truly don't know what to do. I do want to
run a drug test and did tell her that is a possibility.

The reality is that about 50% of all teens experiment with drugs.When they
get to third level education that increases to 75%.
Personally I think that the first kids into drugs are usually the first
ones out of them on on to other things like cars and good clothes, I am
always more concerned for a slightly older teen who gets into them late as
a means to find a pier group.
Individually minded children can usually deal with drug, alcohol,
cigarette and shop lifting situations that will arise for them over
adolecense. By now you will already have given your daughter a sound
grounding in the basic principles of right and wrong. This will be enough
to get her through the next few years.

Personally again, I would have no worries about a bit of rebellion from a
teen. In fact I would be somewhat concerned if they didn't!

Dennis


So I should be concerned because she said no to drugs?

T

"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 17 Mar 2005 05:46:26 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

Thanks for sharing, it really helped.

Glad if it did - I hoped I wasn't putting in my nose where it wasn't
wanted. :-)

For the most part, I tend to avoid
any real closeness with my Mom because I know we're just two different
people but I was shocked she's still treating me like I'm 15 years old and
calling me a loser.

But, see, Christine, call me crazy, but I wouldn't call a 15 year old
a loser *either*. I don't think that's a way to treat *anybody*. And
I'm sorry she's comfortable calling you that. I'd avoid closeness too,
with *anybody* who spoke to me like that.

That's harsh to grow up with and is something that will
stick with me for the rest of my life.

No doubt. :-(

To have it repeated at this point in
my life is something I'm just flabbergasted at. I feel like the last 10
years have been a lie if that's what she really thinks, you know?

It's probably more what comes out of her mouth. Some people don't so
much say what they really think, as not think much at all. Some people
seem to be reflexively mean and not even realise they're doing it. I
know for sure, that'd hurt me and pretty much everyone I know.

My other
family is pretty disappointed yet aren't all that surprised either. At
least I have their support, for that I'm thankful.

I'm glad to hear it. You've always seemed like a very decent person
here, in the only place I know you. 'Course, when I meet you in
Edmonton, and find out about your Medusa head and evil eye, maybe I
might feel differently.....

LMAO

Cele

Hahaha! Well I definitely have an evil eye but it's usually reserved for my
kids. It's the "knock it off or you're dead" look. lol

Christine

"Cele" wrote in message
...
On Thu, 17 Mar 2005 06:05:17 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

[snip]

Yeah I can't cut her out completely, my children still need grandparents
even though I may be having problems with them. She's done a complete 180
though but that doesn't excuse what she said and I'm tired of having to
deal
with this stuff every couple of years when I do something she may not
agree
with. Example: Going to University. My parents wanted me to get out
into
the work force and make something of myself because working hard and
paying
dues are important to them. My value system is I want better for myself
and
my children. I want to wake up in the morning and like what I do and if
it
takes me 4-5 years of schooling to accomplish that, then that's my choice.
But I'm a leech on society because I had to take out loans to do so, I
guess
having to pay them back doesn't count? lol

Damn, woman, I wish more people were lazy leeches like you are!

You were just born into the wrong family, is all. In mine, you haven't
finished school 'til you've got an undergrad degree, come hell or high
water. God help the poor kid like my youngest, who's a born athlete,
fabulous with people, but not an academic. Lucky for her she was born
to my ex and me, rather than to my father. He'd've done her in!

[snip]

Yeah I'll stop whining soon enough. lol

I don't see any of this as whining. It's only whining if A) it's
overreacting or B) you're planning on making it a career, and I don't
see either of those at work here.

I'm a talker though, I talk until
the horse is so dead it's growing maggots. It makes me feel better to
analyze things until I can't think about them anymore. :P

Oh, thank GOD! I thought I was the only one around here!

Poor Paul. Then again, he's hardly your silent, reserved type,
himself.....

(Hee. I happen to know he's marking these days, & doesn't have time to
read. I may never have to pay for that remark! LMAO)

(Of course, he's on holiday after next week, and will be here a week
Saturday, and might read it then.....)

(Oh well. By then I'll be able to keep him busy in person....)

Right

I'll stop now.

Cele

LOL Yeah let's talk behind his back! We'll have enough of that over coffee
eh? :x

Christine

On Fri, 18 Mar 2005 04:51:03 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

I'm glad to hear it. You've always seemed like a very decent person
here, in the only place I know you. 'Course, when I meet you in
Edmonton, and find out about your Medusa head and evil eye, maybe I
might feel differently.....

LMAO

Cele

Hahaha! Well I definitely have an evil eye but it's usually reserved for my
kids. It's the "knock it off or you're dead" look. lol

Heh. I've got that one too! I also have a 'teacher eye'. It's like
magic. Drops 'em in their tracks. Too powerful to use often, but handy
when you need it.

Then there are all those kids on whom it doesn't work.

LMAO

Cele

On Fri, 18 Mar 2005 04:53:26 GMT, "CME"
wrote:


"Cele" wrote in message
.. .
On Thu, 17 Mar 2005 06:05:17 GMT, "CME"
wrote:

[snip]

Yeah I can't cut her out completely, my children still need grandparents
even though I may be having problems with them. She's done a complete 180
though but that doesn't excuse what she said and I'm tired of having to
deal
with this stuff every couple of years when I do something she may not
agree
with. Example: Going to University. My parents wanted me to get out
into
the work force and make something of myself because working hard and
paying
dues are important to them. My value system is I want better for myself
and
my children. I want to wake up in the morning and like what I do and if
it
takes me 4-5 years of schooling to accomplish that, then that's my choice.
But I'm a leech on society because I had to take out loans to do so, I
guess
having to pay them back doesn't count? lol

Damn, woman, I wish more people were lazy leeches like you are!

You were just born into the wrong family, is all. In mine, you haven't
finished school 'til you've got an undergrad degree, come hell or high
water. God help the poor kid like my youngest, who's a born athlete,
fabulous with people, but not an academic. Lucky for her she was born
to my ex and me, rather than to my father. He'd've done her in!

[snip]

Yeah I'll stop whining soon enough. lol

I don't see any of this as whining. It's only whining if A) it's
overreacting or B) you're planning on making it a career, and I don't
see either of those at work here.

I'm a talker though, I talk until
the horse is so dead it's growing maggots. It makes me feel better to
analyze things until I can't think about them anymore. :P

Oh, thank GOD! I thought I was the only one around here!

Poor Paul. Then again, he's hardly your silent, reserved type,
himself.....

(Hee. I happen to know he's marking these days, & doesn't have time to
read. I may never have to pay for that remark! LMAO)

(Of course, he's on holiday after next week, and will be here a week
Saturday, and might read it then.....)

(Oh well. By then I'll be able to keep him busy in person....)

Right

I'll stop now.

Cele

LOL Yeah let's talk behind his back! We'll have enough of that over coffee
eh? :x

Or beer....or white zinfandel...or donuts....

Cele