your opinion please ( baby traveling away from mom)

My husband is from Germany. All his family is still there (We're in the
US). He travels back there for business trips about once a year, and this
year it will probably be in August. He wants to take the baby with him to
drop off at his parents while he is there on business for a whole week.
Emily will be 8 months at that time. My husband will not be staying at the
house for that time period. He assures me that his mother will take perfect
care of Emily, but I feel sooo uncomfortable with this on so many levels.
Regardless of whether or not she takes perfect care, I can't imagine her
being gone for a whole week, being so far away, etc. Of course his parents
will have very limited opportunities to see their ONLY grandchild, so I feel
a little guilty.

Opinions?

Betsy

Hi --

Can you go too? It *is* reasonable to make sure that grandparents and
grandkids spend time together. But it's NOT reasonable for such a young
child to spend that kind of time without parents present as well, and
you say your husband won't be around for most of the week.

I vote that you and the baby travel together to Germany and spend a week
bonding with the grandparents *together* if at all possible. If it's
not possible, invite the grandparents to visit you in the US.

In the meantime, send lots of photos and videos, and phone often!
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

"oregonchick" wrote:

My husband is from Germany. All his family is still there (We're in the
US). He travels back there for business trips about once a year, and this
year it will probably be in August. He wants to take the baby with him to
drop off at his parents while he is there on business for a whole week.
Emily will be 8 months at that time. My husband will not be staying at
the house for that time period. He assures me that his mother will take
perfect care of Emily, but I feel sooo uncomfortable with this on so many
levels. Regardless of whether or not she takes perfect care, I can't
imagine her being gone for a whole week, being so far away, etc. Of
course his parents will have very limited opportunities to see their ONLY
grandchild, so I feel a little guilty.

Opinions?

Betsy

If you can't go too, I definitely would not do this. I can't imagine leaving
my child with anyone for that long without a parent around.

rj

oregonchick writes:

My husband is from Germany. All his family is still there (We're in the
US). He travels back there for business trips about once a year, and
this year it will probably be in August. He wants to take the baby with
him to drop off at his parents while he is there on business for a whole
week. Emily will be 8 months at that time. My husband will not be
staying at the house for that time period. He assures me that his mother
will take perfect care of Emily, but I feel sooo uncomfortable with this
on so many levels. Regardless of whether or not she takes perfect care,
I can't imagine her being gone for a whole week, being so far away, etc.
Of course his parents will have very limited opportunities to see their
ONLY grandchild, so I feel a little guilty.

He wants to leave the baby with his parents, who are presumably not well
known to the baby, without either parent, for a week? My opinion of that is
untypable in a family newsgroup. Let's settle for "no way". And also, let's
remark that it may be much harder then than it would be now, because she
may be getting into separation anxiety by then (it seems to vary a lot from
child to child, both in timing and in severity, though).

If you can possibly go too, that sounds like the obvious better answer -
but presumably if you could this wouldn't be being proposed in the first
place?

Sidheag
DS Colin Oct 27 2003

"oregonchick" wrote in message
...
My husband is from Germany. All his family is still there (We're in the
US). He travels back there for business trips about once a year, and this
year it will probably be in August. He wants to take the baby with him to
drop off at his parents while he is there on business for a whole week.
Emily will be 8 months at that time. My husband will not be staying at
the house for that time period. He assures me that his mother will take
perfect care of Emily, but I feel sooo uncomfortable with this on so many
levels. Regardless of whether or not she takes perfect care, I can't
imagine her being gone for a whole week, being so far away, etc. Of
course his parents will have very limited opportunities to see their ONLY
grandchild, so I feel a little guilty.

Opinions?

Same as everyone else. I vote for going with the baby or bringing the
grandparents over. No way would I leave the baby with strangers (and they
are strangers to the baby) for that period of time. They may also have a
different parenting style than you that you may not agree with. I find
grandparents sometimes have been without kids so long, they forget how kids
can be. MIL left a hot curling iron out withing reach of DS when he was a
toddler and he burned his hand on it. They just forget.

"oregonchick" wrote in message
...
My husband is from Germany. All his family is still there (We're in the
US). He travels back there for business trips about once a year, and this
year it will probably be in August. He wants to take the baby with him to
drop off at his parents while he is there on business for a whole week.
Emily will be 8 months at that time. My husband will not be staying at
the house for that time period.

Not a prayer's chance in hell. Leave her with someone she doesn't know for a
week while you stay stateside and he's out doing business? I think not.

Check up on Eurail passes.

Jess

"oregonchick" wrote in message
...
My husband is from Germany. All his family is still there (We're in the
US). He travels back there for business trips about once a year, and this
year it will probably be in August. He wants to take the baby with him to
drop off at his parents while he is there on business for a whole week.
Emily will be 8 months at that time. My husband will not be staying at
the house for that time period. He assures me that his mother will take
perfect care of Emily, but I feel sooo uncomfortable with this on so many
levels. Regardless of whether or not she takes perfect care, I can't
imagine her being gone for a whole week, being so far away, etc. Of
course his parents will have very limited opportunities to see their ONLY
grandchild, so I feel a little guilty.

Opinions?

Betsy


No way. I am from Europe and live in the States and there's no way I would
do that. Apart from the fact that I was still nursing at 8 months old
there's no way I would ship my baby off so far so spend a week with people
she had never met even if it was family. Your daughter won't understand that
these are her grandparents and everything's ok. All she will know is that
Mama and Daddy aren't there.

Sarah
Katheryn 01.28.02
EDD 09.16.06

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Show your support for breastfeeding
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oregonchick wrote:

My husband is from Germany. All his family is still there (We're in the
US). He travels back there for business trips about once a year, and this
year it will probably be in August. He wants to take the baby with him to
drop off at his parents while he is there on business for a whole week.
Emily will be 8 months at that time.

No.

-- Anita --

oregonchick wrote:
My husband is from Germany. All his family is still there (We're in the
US). He travels back there for business trips about once a year, and this
year it will probably be in August. He wants to take the baby with him to
drop off at his parents while he is there on business for a whole week.
Emily will be 8 months at that time. My husband will not be staying at the
house for that time period. He assures me that his mother will take perfect
care of Emily, but I feel sooo uncomfortable with this on so many levels.
Regardless of whether or not she takes perfect care, I can't imagine her
being gone for a whole week, being so far away, etc. Of course his parents
will have very limited opportunities to see their ONLY grandchild, so I feel
a little guilty.

Opinions?

Betsy



Heck no. That is too young. I would never do it.

My husbands mother flew over from the UK to see Ronnie and would have
never have considered asking me to seperate myself from my child.
We are very different in opinions about feeding, sleeping and
everything, but that is one issue that she is against. I think a lot of
it has to do with WW2 and many families sending their kids off with
other people in the country to keep them safe. (Southern English) and
the thought of a mother being away from her child horrifies her.

I feel bad you have a hard choice. If you can go, I would say do it.
Europe is lovely and you will have a good time.


Jo

oregonchick wrote:
My husband is from Germany. All his family is still there (We're in the
US). He travels back there for business trips about once a year, and this
year it will probably be in August. He wants to take the baby with him to
drop off at his parents while he is there on business for a whole week.
Emily will be 8 months at that time. My husband will not be staying at the
house for that time period. He assures me that his mother will take perfect
care of Emily, but I feel sooo uncomfortable with this on so many levels.
Regardless of whether or not she takes perfect care, I can't imagine her
being gone for a whole week, being so far away, etc. Of course his parents
will have very limited opportunities to see their ONLY grandchild, so I feel
a little guilty.

Opinions?

Betsy

Personally I wouldn't agree and just live with a little guilt. Even
though ds (9 mths) has spent many Sundays with his grandparents he has
started to get separation anxiety in the last few weeks. He is fine
when we leave him and has a lovely time but cries when we return and
immediately wants to cuddle and nurse. On Saturday I left him for the
first time with his dad and other granny (my mum) to go and see Cats,
and worried like hell over that. Even when he was being held by my mum
he was looking around for me. I can't begin to imagine what a week away
from him would be like and I wouldn't leave him with strangers that
long (which is what your dh's parents are to Emily). I reckon go with
your gut. Yes she is their grandchild, but she is your baby. I do
sympathise with your dilema, sometimes you just can't please everyone
can you.

Jeni