Waah, no naps

Hungry Girl, now 8mo, is having trouble napping. We went on a weeks
long trip that involved co-sleeping for safety. Boy did we mess up:
her former wonderfully easy sleep habits are gone.

Since our return one week ago she wants to sleep in our bed at night
and sometimes gets to, but she isn't really comfortable there. And
she now has to be nursed by mommy or at least held by daddy until she
passes out.

And she won't nap unless exhausted. Several days this week she has
gone without any nap at all. She also seems to have the idea that I
should nurse her to sleep for naps. She coos and smiles as I carry
her to the bedroom then screams when I lay her in her crib. Worse,
she is now crawling and pulling to stand, but not yet steady on her
feet. So as soon as she finds herself alone up she goes, screaming,
and if I don't come STAT she has some minor accident in the crib.
That baby is no dummy.

She is sleeping only 9-10 hours in all per day.

Tell me I can fix this?

On Jun 9, 6:59?pm, Pologirl wrote:
Hungry Girl, now 8mo, is having trouble napping. We went on a weeks
long trip that involved co-sleeping for safety. Boy did we mess up:
her former wonderfully easy sleep habits are gone.

Since our return one week ago she wants to sleep in our bed at night
and sometimes gets to, but she isn't really comfortable there. And
she now has to be nursed by mommy or at least held by daddy until she
passes out.

And she won't nap unless exhausted. Several days this week she has
gone without any nap at all. She also seems to have the idea that I
should nurse her to sleep for naps. She coos and smiles as I carry
her to the bedroom then screams when I lay her in her crib. Worse,
she is now crawling and pulling to stand, but not yet steady on her
feet. So as soon as she finds herself alone up she goes, screaming,
and if I don't come STAT she has some minor accident in the crib.
That baby is no dummy.

She is sleeping only 9-10 hours in all per day.

Tell me I can fix this?

I really don't know what to say other than I'm sorry it messed her up
so badly. That can be really frustrating. Keeping the bed in her room
also seems like the best plan of attack because she won't get so used
to sleeping in your bed that you have to deal with that change later.
If my kids needed me, I always slept with them in their rooms. The
standing up and falling down thing is just going to happen until she
figures out that being in bed means sleep. lol. Could she just so
happen to be teething? I have the ocean wonders musical lighted crib
toy. Baby never really liked it until close to a year. Now it keeps
his room illuminated a tad and he likes the music as he falls asleep.
We went on vacation in February when my baby was 15 months old and I
found a baby-supply rental place. We rented a crib from them for him.
We knew that if he had slept with us on that vacation it could very
well ruin the fact that he actually enjoyed going to sleep on his own
in his own bed. lol. I also rented a rocking chair to rock him to
sleep at the vacation house because I also knew that being in a new
and different room and place like that for the first time would make
him nervous enough to where just putting him in the crib would not
work. I also packed and took along his own bedding and that ocean
wonders mobile crib toy so that the new crib looked as much like his
own as possible. Keep in mind that once a baby gets overtired, as
yours may be with that little sleep per day, unwinding to fall asleep
becomes more difficult for them. The body will produce a certain
chemical to help get through exhaustion that can make falling asleep
more difficult. Does she have a pacifier? That could help with the
sudden need to nurse to sleep, but wouldn't be a good idea if she is
needing to and attempting to up your supply due to a growth spurt or
something. I think I would just rock to sleep, put down, and repeat as
many times as necessary until an adjustment occurs and she regain her
comfort level with falling asleep on her own. I rocked my last baby,
who is now 19 months old, past the first year because I enjoyed it,
and somewhere around 14 months he just up and decided it was no longer
comfortable for him since he was getting so big and then I could tell
he wanted out of my arms to be put into bed. Bummed me out since I
know he is my last, but that is how that happened. lol. At any rate,
sleeping with her in her room is best IMO. I know it isn't the case
for everyone, but I know too many people who are still dealing with
trying to get their children to sleep in their own rooms and beds at
the ages of 6 and 7 who are at the end of their wits over it. Mine
are 7 and 9, and while they still appear in our room from time to
time, they usually just call out for one of us. If we are too tired to
put them back in their beds, they can hop in with us, as we can take
the discomfort of little room for a night, but when it goes in a
stretch of a few days or so, I get up and snuggle them and sleep with
them in their beds. Good luck!

Pologirl wrote:
Hungry Girl, now 8mo, is having trouble napping. We went on a weeks
long trip that involved co-sleeping for safety. Boy did we mess up:
her former wonderfully easy sleep habits are gone.

Since our return one week ago she wants to sleep in our bed at night
and sometimes gets to, but she isn't really comfortable there. And
she now has to be nursed by mommy or at least held by daddy until she
passes out.

And she won't nap unless exhausted. Several days this week she has
gone without any nap at all. She also seems to have the idea that I
should nurse her to sleep for naps. She coos and smiles as I carry
her to the bedroom then screams when I lay her in her crib. Worse,
she is now crawling and pulling to stand, but not yet steady on her
feet. So as soon as she finds herself alone up she goes, screaming,
and if I don't come STAT she has some minor accident in the crib.
That baby is no dummy.

She is sleeping only 9-10 hours in all per day.

Tell me I can fix this?

I don't know for sure, but it may be that a jolt to
your regular schedule got you into this, and maybe another
upheaval might get you out of it? Maybe do something really
different. Stake out a few days and be very active (get outside,
really wear her out) and very close with her (so she gets her
fill of mommy and daddy time). Then maybe bring in someone
new to put her to bed back in her room. Can you invite some
grandparents or other relatives to visit a bit so that they're
around to put her down?

Best wishes,
Ericka

Pologirl wrote:
Hungry Girl, now 8mo, is having trouble napping. We went on a weeks
long trip that involved co-sleeping for safety. Boy did we mess up:
her former wonderfully easy sleep habits are gone.

Since our return one week ago she wants to sleep in our bed at night
and sometimes gets to, but she isn't really comfortable there. And
she now has to be nursed by mommy or at least held by daddy until she
passes out.

And she won't nap unless exhausted. Several days this week she has
gone without any nap at all. She also seems to have the idea that I
should nurse her to sleep for naps. She coos and smiles as I carry
her to the bedroom then screams when I lay her in her crib. Worse,
she is now crawling and pulling to stand, but not yet steady on her
feet. So as soon as she finds herself alone up she goes, screaming,
and if I don't come STAT she has some minor accident in the crib.
That baby is no dummy.

I've heard that it's fairly normal to go through a stage of sleep
problems around 9 months, so maybe your daughter's just advanced. ;-)
How difficult is it to nurse her to sleep? If she's one of those babies
who's flat out within a few minutes of popping her on the boob, you
could always just do that. If it takes a long time to nurse her down,
that may not be practical. (By the way, it may be possible to nurse her
down at some sleeps and not others as long as you stick to your guns
either way - I mean, either nurse her straight away or not at all for
that sleep time, but never, never have times when you start out not
meaning to nurse her but do after she's screamed for three-quarters of
an hour.)

When I wanted to transition my son from nursing to sleep to falling
asleep in his cot, I used a method I'd read about in Tracy Hogg -
basically, stay right by the cot and every time baby pulls up to
standing give baby a cuddle and put *straight* back down (I mean,
literally, as I put my arms around him to cuddle him I was already
bending over to settle him down again). This worked very well initially
- within a few nights, he went from needing lengthy nursing sessions to
settle to falling asleep in his cot with a few minutes of back patting -
and then he got more and more reluctant to settle, so I moved up a notch
and started leaving him in the cot, walking out, and checking on him
every five minutes. That did the trick (though I'm glad I went for the
pick-up/put-down option first, because I think it eased him into it more
gently). If your daughter's going mad for nursing, you may find it
helps to have your husband do it. Or you could nurse her before naptime
for as long as you're comfortable for and then move on to putting her
down in her cot and insisting she go to sleep there.

The other thing that really helped with Jamie was a dummy (pacifier),
which meant he had something to suck on while going to sleep even when
he wasn't nursing. In his case, it made a huge difference. If your
daughter was falling asleep without one up until a week ago, it may not
be worth introducing one - maybe you're better off just going cold
turkey on the sucking-to-sleep and using other methods of
comforting/settling her until she gets used to it.


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

?If your daughter's going mad for nursing, you may find it
helps to have your husband do it.

This I'd like to see! lol. Just kidding Sarah. Just hit me funny. I
may just be slap happy this evening.

Thank you Chris, Ericka and Sarah for your many suggestions.

I have not changed anything yet, but the sleeping issues are a little
better anyway. She has taken a few daytime naps and also gone to
sleep at night a little easier than last week. Still far from normal
for her, though. One other issue, probably related, is that she is so
busy during the day exploring and playing that she may be starting to
reverse cycle, nursing more and more at night. I am having trouble
keeping track, and waking up more and more to find her still in our
bed ... nudging me for another snack or to move over and give her more
space. Looks like I am reaching the breaking point of sleep
deprivation.

She doesn't take a pacifier and in fact is so non-oral that I don't
worry about her putting things in her mouth ... except she doesn't put
food there either! She has just this week begun to enjoy a second
taste of foods and drinks.

Her crib is in our bedroom now. Once she sleeps through the night she
will go in the other bedroom with her brother. We had to move him out
of our room very early because DH's snoring would wake him up. He now
sleeps with the bedroom door closed, by his own request, because
otherwise DH's snoring disturbs him too much. Even so, he still
complains about it sometimes at breakfast. She is not so easily
disturbed, but it is possible that nonetheless she is being disturbed.

I am pretty good at being consistent. I nurse her before bed but not
to sleep. The problem is I nurse her every time she wakes at night
(she usually nurses then as if hungry) and lately her fist night
waking is just 1-2 hours after she goes to bed. She is nursing now
about 4 times during her 9-10 hour night. Uh, that means she wakes
after every sleep cycle! I hadn't thought of that until now.

So, I have identified a bunch of contributing factors. Now it is time
to decide which are likely to be the key ones, and then make a plan.

I went to the local public library to borrow the Ferber book again and
discovered they have discarded *all* the older books on good sleep
habits! And the newer ones they have bought to replace them are on
the whole mediocre. Argh.

Pologirl
2004 Monkey Boy
2006 Hungry Girl

Chris wrote:
?If your daughter's going mad for nursing, you may find it
helps to have your husband do it.

This I'd like to see! lol. Just kidding Sarah. Just hit me funny. I
may just be slap happy this evening.

snort I was going to reply by saying I'd have to start proof-reading
again. Then again, maybe not - the entertainment value is definitely
better this way... ;-)


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

Chris wrote:
?If your daughter's going mad for nursing, you may find it
helps to have your husband do it.

Sarah wrote:
This I'd like to see! lol. Just kidding Sarah. Just hit me funny. I
may just be slap happy this evening.

I'm the one who is slap happy. Aka too sleep deprived to get it
the first couple reads. Sigh.

Napping is going slightly better this week, but naps and bedtime
both are less regular than I would like. On the good side, I am
making headway on ensuring that going to bed has only positive
associations, so Hungry Girl looks forward to it. She seems to
be trying to go to sleep sometimes and just can't manage it on
her own. She is indeed mad (wild) to nurse then, as if mommy
milk should knock her out. Poor baby.

She is incredibly independent! She crawled *away* from me,
way across our yard. Yet she will not hold her sippy cup, she
wants me to hold it for her while she drinks. She can and does
hold it to play with it. She is so like her brother in some ways
and so different in others.

Pologirl
2004 Monkey Boy
2005 tiny angel
2006 Hungry Girl