gym daycare issues

daycare at our gym groups the classes by exact age, rather than year
group, however, the 1s, 2s and non potty trained 3s are all together at
off peak times, so when DD turned 2, 2 weeks ago, it was simply a case
of being in the same classroom all the time, with the staff schedules,
this meant there was one staff member that was completely new to us,
obviously over the past 8 mths, every staff member has been new to us at
some point and without fail, all have been polite and present, many much
more than that, making an effort to learn my name, and both the
children's name, not just the one in their room.

So the first time I came across this staff member, I wasn't thinking
anything new was happening, I thought I new the system for the room and
it was the 2nd or 3rd time we'd been in there at a time we wouldn't have
done previously, so I was unprepared, she completely pounced on me, are
you new, let me give you a schedule etc etc, but very much not in a nice
way, more like, how dare you come in here and feel at home. Then she
spotted a tiny bit of stray snot that was stuck below DD's nose, it was
most definitely not green, she decided it was green and launched into
the sick child policy, I explained that DD has a permenant runny nose
and she should check with another staff member who knows her, she wasn't
entirely happy, but I thought that was the end of it. This was precisely
1 week ago.

We've been a couple more times and she has been unpleasant to deal with
each time about something different, I think she must be the lead
teacher for that room, at least during peak hours and she seems to have
added in extra rules/systems that aren't in place in other rooms, or in
that room when she's not there, so I didn't know them, today she
attempted to charge me a dollar because I only put 1 clean diaper out
and left spares in the bag and she needed an extra, she didn't look in
the bag, so was trying to charge me for providing one. She basically had
me feeling like a small child and pretty close to tears and I'm not
normally someone that cries easily. I spoke to the lady on reception,
who sorts out putting charges on the account and she happily waived the
charge and apologised for how the staff member had acted, and said it
was just her way and she was always like that and if I wanted I could
talk to the manager another time.

I left, vented a bit to DH, but was feeling I wouldn't complain or talk
to anyone, just try and do everything right so that no possible problem
can arise, but got our mail to find a personally signed letter from the
president of the club (not the daycare manager, but the absolute top
person who's not even responsible for day to day running of the place),
asking me to me more cooperative with the sick child policy. They had
asked me to bring in a letter from the doctor saying that these symptoms
were normal for DD, but with the timing of this letter arriving at most
1 week later, they never even gave me the chance to do that and since
then I've not left her there with symptoms, her nasal dribble is very
slow, so as long as I clean her up just before we go in, over and hour
and a half there hasn't been any obvious build up (at least not this
week, it is faster sometimes), it is completely clear, no sign of
infection at all, her behaviour is all normal etc. but, with that timing
this must simply relate to that one instance last week, she has
presented before with exactly the same issue and it has never been
mentioned at all and if they check there records, they can see I've
called up multiple times to cancel because one or both child is sick
(including this week). They could on that day have refused to take her,
but they didn't, so from my side that implied acceptance for that day
that her symptoms were not infectious, yet from that day alone, I get a
letter from right up top - it would be a bit like Bill Gates sending a
disciplinary letter to someone low down in microsoft when there manager
had never even told them there was a disciplinary issue.

I'm amazed that this managed to get through the system, surely she would
have had to have mentioned it to her manager, which would be the day
care manager/director, there would then be at least the level of vice
president between her and the president, if not a couple of other layers.

I suspect by now you get the idea about just how mad this has made me, I
don't think ignoring it is an option now, but I'm fearful of complaining
as I'm going to have to continue using this facility, it's the one DH
gets free and I get reduced rates for and it's an excellent gym, DD
doesn't attend any activity or program where she is left, so absolutely
every time I go, she has to come to. Plus it's also allows me to leave
them and go offsite and I've had a lot of medical appointments recently
and have needed to do that. DD is highly likely to continue to have a
runny nose at varying rates, yet what doctor is going to write her a
note that confirms that it is not infectious that extends more than a
couple of days ahead (even if they would do that) - they may be able to
confirm she's not infectious at the time they see her, but they can't
sign to say she's not going to be infectious tomorrow. I have asked the
doctor about this being ongoing and the doctor says she can't know for
sure what the cause is, it could be just the way she is plumbed around
that area and she'll grow out of it, or it could be allergies, but that
right now it wouldn't be helpful to put her through allergy testing.
I've asked DH if he can deal with this as I will get too emotional over it.

Congratulations if you got this far, I really had to vent. She'll be
going again tomorrow, from 1.30, I'm really crossing my fingers this is
after this particular person has left - it seems to be around the time
she does.

Cheers
Anne

Anne Rogers schrieb:
snip
I have asked the
doctor about this being ongoing and the doctor says she can't know for
sure what the cause is, it could be just the way she is plumbed around
that area and she'll grow out of it, or it could be allergies, but that
right now it wouldn't be helpful to put her through allergy testing.

Can you talk to her about the issue and maybe get an allergy check done?
Chances are she's allergic to _something_ and then she can write you a
note about DD having allergies and that a runny nose it totally normal.

Otherwise I'd go the other way and complain about that woman, yes, right
to the person who wrote to you. Tell him about how she's apparently
making up new rules as she goes and enforces them without telling
parents about them.

I would also look into finding a babysitter, I don't know how much
that's going to cost you and whether or not you'll be able to afford it,
but maybe that would be the better option for your medical appointments.
If she tries charging you for diapers and you're right there in the gym
you can always say "Why didn't you just ask me? I was right there." kind
of thing.

cu
nicole

On Thu, 28 Jun 2007 23:48:53 -0700, Anne Rogers wrote:


and have needed to do that. DD is highly likely to continue to have a
runny nose at varying rates, yet what doctor is going to write her a
note that confirms that it is not infectious that extends more than a
couple of days ahead (even if they would do that) - they may be able to
confirm she's not infectious at the time they see her, but they can't
sign to say she's not going to be infectious tomorrow. I have asked the
doctor about this being ongoing and the doctor says she can't know for
sure what the cause is, it could be just the way she is plumbed around
that area and she'll grow out of it, or it could be allergies, but that
right now it wouldn't be helpful to put her through allergy testing.

Get another doctor to write a note? DD got just such a note for daycare
stating she has allergic rhinitis from a doctor who saw her only once
(we're in an HMO). I just told the doctor he nose is always runny. The
doctor agreed, thought DD had a sinus infection, but that it wasn't
contagious at that point. She didn't want to treat it and figured DD
normally has allergires. Could your doctor not write that your DD normally
has _________? That way, he is not stating it is always __________, just
usually __________.

In article , toypup says...

On Thu, 28 Jun 2007 23:48:53 -0700, Anne Rogers wrote:


and have needed to do that. DD is highly likely to continue to have a
runny nose at varying rates, yet what doctor is going to write her a
note that confirms that it is not infectious that extends more than a
couple of days ahead (even if they would do that) - they may be able to
confirm she's not infectious at the time they see her, but they can't
sign to say she's not going to be infectious tomorrow. I have asked the
doctor about this being ongoing and the doctor says she can't know for
sure what the cause is, it could be just the way she is plumbed around
that area and she'll grow out of it, or it could be allergies, but that
right now it wouldn't be helpful to put her through allergy testing.

Get another doctor to write a note? DD got just such a note for daycare
stating she has allergic rhinitis from a doctor who saw her only once
(we're in an HMO). I just told the doctor he nose is always runny. The
doctor agreed, thought DD had a sinus infection, but that it wasn't
contagious at that point. She didn't want to treat it and figured DD
normally has allergires. Could your doctor not write that your DD normally
has _________? That way, he is not stating it is always __________, just
usually __________.

Yeah I would pursue getting the doctor's note on file. If this employee is
excessively dogmatic about the sick policy, this will quash that. But consider
if it's that the other employees were more pliable, and you (the OP) have just
run into a stickler. (I say "consider", not that it's necessarily the case...)

And (to the OP), find out the work schedule of this particular daycare provider
and see if you can simply avoid her since she's been rude about it. Maybe, as
others have said, this problem will take care of itself if she leaves. But
being the one with the runny-nose child, and since this sort of thing is always
a question, I wouldn't go writing letters of complaint or anything like that.
At least not now.

Banty

Yeah I would pursue getting the doctor's note on file. If this employee is
excessively dogmatic about the sick policy, this will quash that. But consider
if it's that the other employees were more pliable, and you (the OP) have just
run into a stickler. (I say "consider", not that it's necessarily the case...)

I suppose I could call up and make a non urgent appointment with the
paediatrician - it just seems wrong to me, taking up the time of a
doctor I know is busy (when I called to book a well child visit, they
gave me an appointment 3 mths away), the my insurance paying out for it
(and if they didn't, me paying out for it!).


And (to the OP), find out the work schedule of this particular daycare provider
and see if you can simply avoid her since she's been rude about it. Maybe, as
others have said, this problem will take care of itself if she leaves. But
being the one with the runny-nose child, and since this sort of thing is always
a question, I wouldn't go writing letters of complaint or anything like that.
At least not now.

It's not so much that the issue has been raised, it's been how the issue
has been raised, this letter has been sent out at a time matching me
being asked to get a doctor's note, not at a time that they could say I
had failed to provide one after it's been requested. Similarly how this
person has dealt with other issues, walking into class and forgetting to
take the child to wash their hands, just merits a polite reminder
"please could you take her to wash her hands", not a snappy comment,
that might be appropriate had I ignored the previous request, it's as if
she assumes I'm deliberately not doing things. I'm pretty sure she works
each day until about 1, most of the time I am there after that time, but
one day I have a class at 11.15, so once a week is unavoidable.

Cheers

Anne

I would also look into finding a babysitter, I don't know how much
that's going to cost you and whether or not you'll be able to afford it,
but maybe that would be the better option for your medical appointments.
If she tries charging you for diapers and you're right there in the gym
you can always say "Why didn't you just ask me? I was right there." kind
of thing.

Babysitters don't tend to work day times, or if you do find someone,
they probably won't do irregular times (I know people who have a regular
person either between them leaving for work and school, or at the
opposite end of the day and call them babysitters not a nanny). It's not
that it's not an option, just that there isn't an agency that we could
get irregular stuff and so if we did find someone via an advert or
something, we'd have to do all the checking up and I don't think I'd
feel entirely confident.

Anne

Anne Rogers wrote:
[snip]
It's not so much that the issue has been raised, it's been how the issue
has been raised, this letter has been sent out at a time matching me
being asked to get a doctor's note, not at a time that they could say I
had failed to provide one after it's been requested. Similarly how this
person has dealt with other issues, walking into class and forgetting to
take the child to wash their hands, just merits a polite reminder
"please could you take her to wash her hands", not a snappy comment,
that might be appropriate had I ignored the previous request, it's as if
she assumes I'm deliberately not doing things. I'm pretty sure she works
each day until about 1, most of the time I am there after that time, but
one day I have a class at 11.15, so once a week is unavoidable.

I just wondered about the letter from the director. Is is possible it
was a circular letter sent out to all parents who use the gym daycare?
From what the receptionist said, this woman is annoying a lot of
parents, and she might have complained to her boss about the number
of 'ill' children being left.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

In article , Anne Rogers says...


Yeah I would pursue getting the doctor's note on file. If this employee is
excessively dogmatic about the sick policy, this will quash that. But consider
if it's that the other employees were more pliable, and you (the OP) have just
run into a stickler. (I say "consider", not that it's necessarily the case...)

I suppose I could call up and make a non urgent appointment with the
paediatrician - it just seems wrong to me, taking up the time of a
doctor I know is busy (when I called to book a well child visit, they
gave me an appointment 3 mths away), the my insurance paying out for it
(and if they didn't, me paying out for it!).

Oh, never worry about "taking a doctor's time". With all the camp and school
medical forms he or she will have to sign, this is only the beginning. My
doctor's office has staff that will handle this sort of thing if the examination
or other record is already in place.



And (to the OP), find out the work schedule of this particular daycare provider
and see if you can simply avoid her since she's been rude about it. Maybe, as
others have said, this problem will take care of itself if she leaves. But
being the one with the runny-nose child, and since this sort of thing is always
a question, I wouldn't go writing letters of complaint or anything like that.
At least not now.

It's not so much that the issue has been raised, it's been how the issue
has been raised, this letter has been sent out at a time matching me
being asked to get a doctor's note, not at a time that they could say I
had failed to provide one after it's been requested. Similarly how this
person has dealt with other issues, walking into class and forgetting to
take the child to wash their hands, just merits a polite reminder
"please could you take her to wash her hands", not a snappy comment,
that might be appropriate had I ignored the previous request, it's as if
she assumes I'm deliberately not doing things. I'm pretty sure she works
each day until about 1, most of the time I am there after that time, but
one day I have a class at 11.15, so once a week is unavoidable.


Sometimes we have to deal with difficult people. Life Avoidance is a good
first measure. If she's all that bad, eventually disatisfaction all around will
take care of the problem.

Banty

In article , Anne Rogers says...


I would also look into finding a babysitter, I don't know how much
that's going to cost you and whether or not you'll be able to afford it,
but maybe that would be the better option for your medical appointments.
If she tries charging you for diapers and you're right there in the gym
you can always say "Why didn't you just ask me? I was right there." kind
of thing.

Babysitters don't tend to work day times, or if you do find someone,
they probably won't do irregular times (I know people who have a regular
person either between them leaving for work and school, or at the
opposite end of the day and call them babysitters not a nanny). It's not
that it's not an option, just that there isn't an agency that we could
get irregular stuff and so if we did find someone via an advert or
something, we'd have to do all the checking up and I don't think I'd
feel entirely confident.

Have you considered working out in the evenings (or whatever other time) when
your husband is home? At least in replacement for that 11:15 class? That would
get around the whole problem, too.

Banty

Anne Rogers wrote:

Yeah I would pursue getting the doctor's note on file. If this
employee is
excessively dogmatic about the sick policy, this will quash that. But
consider
if it's that the other employees were more pliable, and you (the OP)
have just
run into a stickler. (I say "consider", not that it's necessarily the
case...)

I suppose I could call up and make a non urgent appointment with the
paediatrician - it just seems wrong to me, taking up the time of a
doctor I know is busy (when I called to book a well child visit, they
gave me an appointment 3 mths away), the my insurance paying out for it
(and if they didn't, me paying out for it!).

Oh, please. That's what they're there for. And booking
3 months out isn't *that* much of an indication of busy. They
have different algorithms for different sorts of appointments.
Also, if her runny nose issue is already on the book, you can
likely just call the ped. and ask them to put together a letter
you can pick up and you won't even have to make an appointment.
Believe me, especially once they get to school age, you're
likely going to have to make these sorts of appointments/calls
with some regularity. The doctors know that. It's just part
of the job. They'll cope.

Best wishes,
Ericka