A Not Birthday Party

This weekend, we are giving the 6yo a party in her honour. It
is her first ever party for her friends: her birthday is in
August so the school holidays have always got in the way.

However, we want to do all the normal party things: ie games, a party
tea, a cake.

I'm not quite sure what to do about the candles on the cake. I think
there should be some, but we can't sing Happy Birthday to You, as
it isn't her birthday. I know other people have given their kid's
parties when it isn't their birthday - what did you do?.

She is also convinced that she will get the prize in Pass the Parcel.
I'm not sure how to handle that, apart from not having the game. Any
ideas?

There will be six guests: we're making party bags, and I found some
flower shape chicken nuggets (from Marks and Spencer for UK readers).

FWIW, we have told the guests' mums that it is not her birthday.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

Penny Gaines wrote:
This weekend, we are giving the 6yo a party in her honour. It
is her first ever party for her friends: her birthday is in
August so the school holidays have always got in the way.

However, we want to do all the normal party things: ie games, a party
tea, a cake.

I'm not quite sure what to do about the candles on the cake. I think
there should be some, but we can't sing Happy Birthday to You, as
it isn't her birthday. I know other people have given their kid's
parties when it isn't their birthday - what did you do?.

She is also convinced that she will get the prize in Pass the Parcel.
I'm not sure how to handle that, apart from not having the game. Any
ideas?

There will be six guests: we're making party bags, and I found some
flower shape chicken nuggets (from Marks and Spencer for UK readers).

FWIW, we have told the guests' mums that it is not her birthday.


DD has a summer bday party, and has long begged to celebrate her "half
birthday" with a mid-year party while school is still in session. I do
commiserate because usually her bday falls when everyone is on vacation
and out of town.

So last year we decided to throw an "end of year" party for DD and her
friends. We held it right before school let out, to kick off the
summer. DD said it wasn't the presents she wanted, but rather just a
chance to get together with her friends and have a party, so this
worked for us. We had a cake, but it wasn't a bday cake.

Turned out most of her friends did bring gifts anyway, despite us
requesting otherwise. The mom's all figured it was only fair, because
DD had been to everyone else's bday party and brought gifts.

To answer your question, maybe you could make "half-birthday" the
theme? You could have, for example, a "half" cake. Either something
like half chocolate and half vanilla, or literally a large round cake
cut in half? Maybe serve half sandwiches and things like that. Perhaps
cut the invitations in half. Have a game in which the kids have to find
the missing other half of their invite, and when they do, they get some
sort of prize? Maybe take two old board games, like Life and Monopoly,
cut them in half, match the boards back up, and play a totally new
game? And yes, why not sing "Happy Half Birthday to You" or make up
silly lyrics with half the song missing "Hap Birth You."

You could also consider having a "summer in winter" party and have all
the kids come dressed in summer clothes. Set up a pool inside (if you
dare). Serve ice pops, make hot dogs on the grill, etc. Turn up the
heat in the house for the day. Use sand pails and shovels as
placeholders on the table, etc. Then *pretend* it's August and it
really is your DD's bday.

Or do a Time Travel theme: have the invitations say something like
"Step into the time capsule and travel to the future with us! The date
will be August, 2005!"

Anyway, you reminded me of something I should post about, on a similar
topic... need some ideas for our next end-of-school party this year...
will start another thread.

jen

Penny Gaines wrote:

This weekend, we are giving the 6yo a party in her honour. It
is her first ever party for her friends: her birthday is in
August so the school holidays have always got in the way.

However, we want to do all the normal party things: ie games, a party
tea, a cake.

I'm not quite sure what to do about the candles on the cake. I think
there should be some, but we can't sing Happy Birthday to You, as
it isn't her birthday. I know other people have given their kid's
parties when it isn't their birthday - what did you do?.

She is also convinced that she will get the prize in Pass the Parcel.
I'm not sure how to handle that, apart from not having the game. Any
ideas?

There will be six guests: we're making party bags, and I found some
flower shape chicken nuggets (from Marks and Spencer for UK readers).

FWIW, we have told the guests' mums that it is not her birthday.

Well, you can do a number of things. You could make
it her half birthday party and do all the regular birthday
things as if it was a birthday party (cake and all). Lots
of kids who have their birthdays in the summer do that. In
fact, DS2 is doing his half birthday party at school. We
do a regular birthday party for him at his birthday, but he's
never gotten to do anything in his class (the kids usually
bring in pizza or cupcakes or whatever on their birthdays)
and he really wanted to do that. So, next Monday I'm
bringing stuff in for DS1 (whose real birthday is tomorrow)
*and* DS2 (whose half birthday would be 2/14, but we can't
do it that day because it would conflict with the class
Valentines Day party).
Or, if you don't to bill it as a birthday party
at all, I don't really see that there's anything you
need do differently. You just skip singing Happy
Birthday and skip candles on the cake (and you don't open
presents during the party), and everything else is the
same. No problem with games, party bags, cake, etc.
As for convincing her she won't necessarily get
the prize in the game, well, that can be a challenge ;-)
You might try explaining that the host of the party
isn't supposed to win the goodies and that it's her
job as host to make sure everyone else is having a
great time. If you think there will be fireworks if
she doesn't get the prize, I'd consider eliminating
the game or working things so that each child ends
up with something in the end.

Best wishes,
Ericka

Hi,
About the pass the parcel, this year for my sons party (5 yo) I've
decided to put a little prize (a chocolate coin and some stickers) and
an activity (e.g. run round the circle 5 times) in every level of
wrapping paper, instead of a big prize at the end. This way all the
kids get a prize and we won't have the dissapointment at the end when
only one child wins.
Helen

Penny Gaines wrote:
This weekend, we are giving the 6yo a party in her honour. It
is her first ever party for her friends: her birthday is in
August so the school holidays have always got in the way.

However, we want to do all the normal party things: ie games, a party
tea, a cake.

I'm not quite sure what to do about the candles on the cake. I think
there should be some, but we can't sing Happy Birthday to You, as
it isn't her birthday. I know other people have given their kid's
parties when it isn't their birthday - what did you do?.

She is also convinced that she will get the prize in Pass the Parcel.
I'm not sure how to handle that, apart from not having the game. Any
ideas?

There will be six guests: we're making party bags, and I found some
flower shape chicken nuggets (from Marks and Spencer for UK readers).

FWIW, we have told the guests' mums that it is not her birthday.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
This weekend, we are giving the 6yo a party in her honour. It
is her first ever party for her friends: her birthday is in
August so the school holidays have always got in the way.

However, we want to do all the normal party things: ie games, a party
tea, a cake.

I'm not quite sure what to do about the candles on the cake. I think
there should be some, but we can't sing Happy Birthday to You, as
it isn't her birthday. I know other people have given their kid's
parties when it isn't their birthday - what did you do?.

She is also convinced that she will get the prize in Pass the Parcel.
I'm not sure how to handle that, apart from not having the game. Any
ideas?

There will be six guests: we're making party bags, and I found some
flower shape chicken nuggets (from Marks and Spencer for UK readers).

FWIW, we have told the guests' mums that it is not her birthday.


You might want to be crystal clear that it is a no gift occaission, if this
is your intent. I would even do it not as a "no gifts expected" but a "no
gifts, please." Nothing is more horrifying than being the one parent who did
not help get a gift when the others chose to.

Otherwise, have a terrific time!

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

hbar wrote:
Hi,
About the pass the parcel, this year for my sons party (5 yo) I've
decided to put a little prize (a chocolate coin and some stickers)
and
an activity (e.g. run round the circle 5 times) in every level of
wrapping paper, instead of a big prize at the end. This way all the
kids get a prize and we won't have the dissapointment at the end when
only one child wins.
Helen

Penny Gaines wrote:
This weekend, we are giving the 6yo a party in her honour. It
is her first ever party for her friends: her birthday is in
August so the school holidays have always got in the way.

However, we want to do all the normal party things: ie games, a
party
tea, a cake.

I'm not quite sure what to do about the candles on the cake. I
think
there should be some, but we can't sing Happy Birthday to You, as
it isn't her birthday. I know other people have given their kid's
parties when it isn't their birthday - what did you do?.

She is also convinced that she will get the prize in Pass the
Parcel.
I'm not sure how to handle that, apart from not having the game.
Any
ideas?

There will be six guests: we're making party bags, and I found some
flower shape chicken nuggets (from Marks and Spencer for UK
readers).

FWIW, we have told the guests' mums that it is not her birthday.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
This weekend, we are giving the 6yo a party in her honour. It
is her first ever party for her friends: her birthday is in
August so the school holidays have always got in the way.

However, we want to do all the normal party things: ie games, a party
tea, a cake.

I'm not quite sure what to do about the candles on the cake. I think
there should be some, but we can't sing Happy Birthday to You, as
it isn't her birthday. I know other people have given their kid's
parties when it isn't their birthday - what did you do?.

She is also convinced that she will get the prize in Pass the Parcel.
I'm not sure how to handle that, apart from not having the game. Any
ideas?

There will be six guests: we're making party bags, and I found some
flower shape chicken nuggets (from Marks and Spencer for UK readers).

FWIW, we have told the guests' mums that it is not her birthday.

Last year #1 had her birthday party in February. That might not seem
strange-except for the fact that her birthday is October. However we were a
little busy :-) (#2 was born 8 days before #1's birthday)
We had a 3 1/3 birthday-and gave her candles and a cake etc. the only thing
was we had to explain to some of the parents what the situation was, as you
have done.
I'd change the words to happy birthday: We didn't but 3 is a bit little for
that-6yo should be able to cope with it.
"Happy party to you
Happy party to you
Happy party to ****
Happy party to you."

Regarding pass the parcel, really I'd explain about it. She's 6 and ought to
be able to cope with explanations and not winning. I remember working out
that the best place to sit in pass the parcel was the opposite side of the
ring from the birthday girl as you were more likely to win-most parents
avoiding their child. (apart from one noteable exception!!)
If she insists that she has to win then I might suggest she does the music
(with help). Tell her every layer will have something in, which might help.
(I assume you're planning on this) By that age forfeits add to it. Each
child could choose a gift when they've done a forfeit if you don't want to
put them in layers. Lollipops can be better than small sweets because they
last the game out :-) and you don't have the first child complaining by the
end.
You don't want her to be upset on her party-but if she expects to win pass
the parcel will she be any happier not winning other things?

People seem to be assuming that by saying it isn't a birthday you mean that
people shouldn't bring presents. Well as she won't have a birthday party as
well (I assume) I see no reason why she shouldn't have presents. Certainly I
would send my child with a present. For my child one of the fun things with
a friend's party is choosing the present-she spends some time thinking about
what they like and things.
If you remove presents and put them in the back for later then you should
save embarrassment if anyone hasn't, but add in the need for thank you
letter :-)
Debbie

Welches wrote:


"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
This weekend, we are giving the 6yo a party in her honour. It
is her first ever party for her friends: her birthday is in
August so the school holidays have always got in the way.
[snip]

I'd change the words to happy birthday: We didn't but 3 is a bit little
for that-6yo should be able to cope with it.
"Happy party to you
Happy party to you
Happy party to ****
Happy party to you."

Ahh, that's brilliant. That is just the idea I needed.

Regarding pass the parcel, really I'd explain about it. She's 6 and ought
to be able to cope with explanations and not winning. I remember working

The 8yo has been trying to persuade her that the party girl doesn't always
win, but she hasn't been persuaded yet. She is open to alternative games
with forfeits etc.

In fact we could have a not-pass-the-parcel, where the last layer has
nothing in it. So the layers (which won't equal the no of participants)
will have sweets in them (I like the lollipop idea), but the last one
won't.

Or does that sound like a really bad idea? - all the kids are 6.5yo and
older.

[snip]
People seem to be assuming that by saying it isn't a birthday you mean
that people shouldn't bring presents. Well as she won't have a birthday
party as well (I assume) I see no reason why she shouldn't have presents.
Certainly I would send my child with a present. For my child one of the
fun things with a friend's party is choosing the present-she spends some
time thinking about what they like and things.

The first RSVP was from J's best friend, and the mum's reaction was "but
she'd like a present anyway." She's a generous mum anyway, the kind who'll
turn up for coffee with a pack of biscuits.

PS Thank you, everyone for all the ideas.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

hbar wrote:

Hi,
About the pass the parcel, this year for my sons party (5 yo) I've
decided to put a little prize (a chocolate coin and some stickers) and
an activity (e.g. run round the circle 5 times) in every level of
wrapping paper, instead of a big prize at the end. This way all the
kids get a prize and we won't have the dissapointment at the end when
only one child wins.
Helen
[snip]

I like this idea, I'll just have to think of some ideas for forfeits.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
Welches wrote:


"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
This weekend, we are giving the 6yo a party in her honour. It
is her first ever party for her friends: her birthday is in
August so the school holidays have always got in the way.
[snip]

I'd change the words to happy birthday: We didn't but 3 is a bit little
for that-6yo should be able to cope with it.
"Happy party to you
Happy party to you
Happy party to ****
Happy party to you."

Ahh, that's brilliant. That is just the idea I needed.

Regarding pass the parcel, really I'd explain about it. She's 6 and ought
to be able to cope with explanations and not winning. I remember working

The 8yo has been trying to persuade her that the party girl doesn't always
win, but she hasn't been persuaded yet. She is open to alternative games
with forfeits etc.

In fact we could have a not-pass-the-parcel, where the last layer has
nothing in it. So the layers (which won't equal the no of participants)
will have sweets in them (I like the lollipop idea), but the last one
won't.

Or does that sound like a really bad idea? - all the kids are 6.5yo and
older.

I think that sounds fine-but make it clear before you start or someone could
have a terrible disappointment.
I just had an alternative thought, that the middle layer has something for
everyone-small sweet each or something??
Debbie