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#41
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What the Research Says About Physical Punishment
Did you bring your kids? Yes I did actually. I read them 2 books and let them check out 1 each. Tori |
#42
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What the Research Says About Physical Punishment
"Tori M" wrote in message et... http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Lif...4002232&sr=8-1 http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Disci...4002301&sr=8-3 The first book was not on the system. The second was so I have that coming to me. the local library has NO non fiction books. I also ordered How To Behave so Your Children Will Too. Tori What do you mean not on the system? Amazon has it in stock. Good luck! |
#43
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What the Research Says About Physical Punishment
"0:-]" wrote in message For some, myself and one other person really being my only data points, it is not super easy to let the habits and thoughts born of your formative years with your own upbringing go. You have to continually nudge a tad to stay on track when habits of old try to reestablish themselves. As hard as stopping smoking, nail biting? If it's that hard, we have a tough sell. 0;] Why? Speaking just for myself and only about Americans, we have turned into lame ass lazy people in many regards. Are people really motivated to do what's *easy* over whats *right?* I caaaaaaaan't whine, whine. Pet peeve of mine. I'd hate to think that someone that is spanking would presume that it's TOO hard for them. Most folks have some idea of their mental capacity, and try to stay inside those limits. Hence, if they were using spanking, they might assume by "hard" meaning too hard for them. OR they might understand that not spanking, does not make positive discipline. Lots of people misconceive that "positive" discipline is the equivalent to a sort of happy horse**** non-discipline. I used to presume that was an honest rebuttal by people that were thinking as a parent and possibly willing to consider other methods. It finally occurred to me that here, in aps, that it was just "debaters" looking to keep the argument going. Very shallow of them. And deserving of the whipping they often got here. I certainly don't mean to attempt to get people to shy away from it as too hard. But it requires *thought* and not simple reaction in the moment. A forward thinking game plan, if you will. Eventually it does become as second nature as the impulse to spank. Especially as the payoffs begin to show. Indeed. |
#44
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What the Research Says About Physical Punishment
"Stephanie" wrote in message news:4n3li.4679$lY4.2222@trndny07... "Tori M" wrote in message et... http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Lif...4002232&sr=8-1 http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Disci...4002301&sr=8-3 The first book was not on the system. The second was so I have that coming to me. the local library has NO non fiction books. I also ordered How To Behave so Your Children Will Too. Tori What do you mean not on the system? Amazon has it in stock. She meant in her library's system. She's already said she doesn't want to spend money right now. I live in a relatively small city, so even though my local library has something like 7 branches, there are many books they don't have. So I looked into inter-library loan at one point. It appears that the library is part of a larger system of libraries, but it's still a finite amount -- that is, they aren't hooked to every library across the country, just those in the local region. So it's easy to believe that there are still a good number of books that would not be available. Bizby |
#45
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What the Research Says About Physical Punishment
0:-] schrieb:
You risk being accused of not being a parent, and so not knowing what you are talking about. I just wanted to quickly let you know that I'm still working on a short(er) reply than what I have right now. I'm a single mom of 1 with nr2 on the way, so I guess I do know what I'm talking about.. I just need to compress my thoughts a bit more because right now the reply is a bit of a book.. cu nicole |
#46
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What the Research Says About Physical Punishment
"bizby40" wrote in message . .. "Stephanie" wrote in message news:4n3li.4679$lY4.2222@trndny07... "Tori M" wrote in message et... http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Lif...4002232&sr=8-1 http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Disci...4002301&sr=8-3 The first book was not on the system. The second was so I have that coming to me. the local library has NO non fiction books. I also ordered How To Behave so Your Children Will Too. Tori What do you mean not on the system? Amazon has it in stock. She meant in her library's system. She's already said she doesn't want to spend money right now. Thats is why I was confused. Well one reason! I am terminally confused. I live in a relatively small city, so even though my local library has something like 7 branches, there are many books they don't have. So I looked into inter-library loan at one point. It appears that the library is part of a larger system of libraries, but it's still a finite amount -- that is, they aren't hooked to every library across the country, just those in the local region. So it's easy to believe that there are still a good number of books that would not be available. Bizby I hear you. |
#47
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What the Research Says About Physical Punishment
"NL" wrote in message ... Tori M schrieb: 0:-] wrote: If someone spanked you, would you not charge them with assault, and could you not take them to civil court for both physical (if you suffered any) and emotional damage and collect a large settlement? I was spanked as a kid and I can tell you that I do not have resentment to my mother for the spankings. I can also tell you I was a very good child in general. I feel guilty very easy. It made me easy to correct. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! So you're only passing along the bad judgment of your parents! And because you feel guilty very easily it's a great way to get you to stop things by spanking you. If you feel guilty so very easily wouldn't it have been just as effective to tell you what you did wrong and giving you a fair other kind of "punishment" have been just as effective? Or would you, as a child, have preferred to be sent to your room instead of being hit? You probably know the saying "Revenge is a lazy form of grief". Are you sure you're not just hitting because you were hit as a child and now you're hitting your children because if you didn't it would mean your parents were treating you wrong as a child and admitting that your parents didn't parent you the best they could have, they parented the easiest way they could have. Isn't that sad? None of us parent the best we ever could have. Ever. We are human. We ALL carry forward some of what we were raised with and choose a different path for some things. That she was spanked does not make her a monster out for bitter revenge, and a closet freakoid. As someone who was spanked, albeit very regularly, I think my parents did a fantastic job over all. I grieve occaisionally over the things they mucked up that hurt me. Interestingly spanking was not among them. We alldo the best we can with what we have. I beleive that spanking is not the demon all by itelf. I belive that the demon is punish/reward pavlovian "discupline" rather than investment discipline. And the punish/reward system can be used to as much detriment without ever laying a hand on a child. Also: Would you put up with your husband spanking you for stuff he though you did wrong? Why not, after all, it worked when you were a child, it works with your children... Where's the difference? Is it just age that protects us from being hit? And trust me, the child often, developmentally, goes through a period of being little legal analysts, and will figure out both the skewed logic and legal fiction perpetrated on them...and interestingly enough, that realization comes at about the time we start having really serious trouble with our teens. Or even preteens. Mostly by nine or ten they have figured out our duplicities (remember when YOU were a kid and caught on your parents were operating in a loop of, 'do as I say not as I do?'). We know a family that had that issue with their oldest.. before they decided spanking was ok and you didn't have to give them a say in everything. Yeah, break them! The little *******s! Don't let them think for themselves. Ever! Bad parenting is not an excuse for hurting the child you claim to love. cu nicole |
#48
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What the Research Says About Physical Punishment
Stephanie wrote:
"Tori M" wrote in message et... http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Lif...4002232&sr=8-1 http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Disci...4002301&sr=8-3 The first book was not on the system. The second was so I have that coming to me. the local library has NO non fiction books. I also ordered How To Behave so Your Children Will Too. Tori What do you mean not on the system? Amazon has it in stock. Good luck! I can not afford a 25$ book right now. It is not on the interlibrary website. Tori |
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