snappy comeback needed (venting, too)

In article .com,
says...

Nikki wrote:



My husband had been fondly thinking of Cubs or similar as something we
could beneficially get my son involved in, but from what you and Banty
are saying it could be disastrous!

Good luck,

Cailleach

Where did you get the idea from me it could be disasterous? It was quite a good
experience.

*Anything* can be disasterous if one doesn't know what to do.

Banty

wrote:
Nikki wrote:

If the next meeting is
like that I may contact a couple parents to see if they have any
ideas on how to make the meetings go smoother because it is driving
me crazy

Some suggestions, from a parent of a child with behaviour issues and a
lot of experience in *seeing* groups but none *running* them.... so
take with usual Usenet warnings :-)

1. Set up a routine! Plan it out, and keep to it, week by week.
2. Start the routine off with some physical but organised activities -
some clapping songs maybe. Then settle down to something quieter or
more crafty. If you have a lot of very physical kids, increase the
amount of physical activity and downplay the seated stuff, at least to
begin with. Keep the seated sessions short. Simon Says was a good idea
- try musical statues, I'm sure there are lots of other games too!
3. Don't expect things to calm down immediately. It'll take a few
weeks to settle the children in.
4. Try to have specific parents in charge of the group for specific
activities, same parents each week. That's better than having no-one
in charge, or having a different person each week in charge of a whole
meeting.

You may not be able to get the climbing child to come down, but (with
luck) this should help the other kids to be less distracted by him. If
he's ignored while the other children are getting on then he may be
able to calm down and join in, at least some of the time.

These static yet unstructured social settings can be very difficult
for children with even mild behaviour or attention problems. To the
child, they seem unpredictable and overwhelming and demanding, yet
very exciting, so you get the uncontrollable rushing about in
response. A regular structure makes it easier for them to predict and
cope, while moving about lets them release the stress so that they
may be able to sit more calmly afterwards.

My husband had been fondly thinking of Cubs or similar as something we
could beneficially get my son involved in, but from what you and Banty
are saying it could be disastrous!

Good luck,

Cailleach

Thank you for all the tips!

So far Hunter loves it. I think the busy boy loves it too :-) He did a lot
better in the smaller room fwiw. In Tiger Cubs there is no den leader or
anything so we are all still trying to figure out what we are supposed to be
doing :-) We take turns with the meetings etc. I would assume that once
we figure it out (and next year when there is an actual leader) that things
will smooth out a bit. It bothers me more then it ordinarily would because
the meetings are in a church basement where the sound bounces all over the
place, even with small groups. If you aren't sitting right next to someone
you can't hear them. Certain types of auditory things drive me nuts and
that is one of them. It is also a very big place and that invites running
amuck :-) I might actually volunteer to have the meeting I do at my house
and see if it works out any better. I can enlist my dh to help with some
kind of activity to keep them a bit more focused, yet active, during the
beginning and ending times. I'll have to put some thought into it and
hopefully it will go well and be an example!

I'm very new at this so take this with a grain of salt but I think cub
scouts is actually a very good choice for any busy kid or kid with
behavioral quirks. It is about having fun, the activities change, it isn't
competitive, the boys get to bond, it focuses on positive character traits,
etc. etc. We've also had one activity since this post. We all toured the
police department. All the boys absolutely loved it and every single one
behaved absolutely spectacularly.


--
Nikki
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
EDD 4/06

Banty wrote:

Where did you get the idea from me it could be disasterous? It was quite a good
experience.

Well, I meant it could be disastrous for *us*. I don't know much about
Cubs myself, but it doesn't sound as if they could provide the right
mix of organisation and tolerance(!) to meet my son's needs (which are
more extreme than we've been discussing here). From what you and Nikki
have described there just seem to be too many factors working against
it.

So I was thinking that my husband was maybe being over-optimistic. I
wasn't meaning a put-down of your groups or of Cub groups in general!

All the best,

Cailleach

In article .com,
says...

Nikki wrote:



My husband had been fondly thinking of Cubs or similar as something we
could beneficially get my son involved in, but from what you and Banty
are saying it could be disastrous!

Good luck,

Cailleach

Where did you get the idea from me it could be disasterous? It was quite a good
experience.

*Anything* can be disasterous if one doesn't know what to do.

Banty

"Hillary Israeli" wrote in message
...
In .com,
-L. wrote:

*Not to mention common public decorum. Last time I looked, ill behaved
*children were unacceptable in society.

er - ill behaved humans of all ages are unacceptable in polite society,


That's true. But it seems to me that people are less likely to comment on a
boorish grown up. I wonder why that is?

although generally speaking the definition of "ill behaved" will vary
depending on age and mental status to some extent. So? Seems pretty ill
behaved to me to go around telling people they "better take this ****
seriously" and they better "keep [their] kid out of [your] sphere of
influence," too!

-hillary (sphere of influence? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!)

--
Hillary Israeli, VMD
Lafayette Hill/PA/USA/Earth
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is
too dark to read." --Groucho Marx

On Wed, 16 Nov 2005 12:33:09 -0500, "Stephanie"
wrote:


"Hillary Israeli" wrote in message
...
In .com,
-L. wrote:

*Not to mention common public decorum. Last time I looked, ill behaved
*children were unacceptable in society.

er - ill behaved humans of all ages are unacceptable in polite society,


That's true. But it seems to me that people are less likely to comment on a
boorish grown up. I wonder why that is?

I'm more likely to comment about a grown-up behaving as a toddler. Dh
usually can't stand it when I do, but it's a vent for my snarky moods.

Nan

In ,
Rosalie B. wrote:

(Hillary Israeli) wrote:
*
*Oh, fercryingoutloud, now you're telling me that a room with two uses
*(cafeteria, auditorium) was called the "multipurpose room?" Again, I
*really think I'd prefer "dual-purpose room..."
*
*Well ours WAS a gym, cafeteria and auditorium.

Well, then, YOU had a multi-purpose room! I was, however, commenting
about the use of the term "cafetorium" to describe a room with the dual
purpose of cafeteria and auditorium

--
Hillary Israeli, VMD
Lafayette Hill/PA/USA/Earth
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is
too dark to read." --Groucho Marx

In article , Nan says...

On Wed, 16 Nov 2005 12:33:09 -0500, "Stephanie"
wrote:


"Hillary Israeli" wrote in message
...
In .com,
-L. wrote:

*Not to mention common public decorum. Last time I looked, ill behaved
*children were unacceptable in society.

er - ill behaved humans of all ages are unacceptable in polite society,


That's true. But it seems to me that people are less likely to comment on a
boorish grown up. I wonder why that is?

Boorish grownups:

1. are beyond help
2. can hurt you

Banty