Dad brainwashing son

"'Kate" wrote ...

So I'm in my most unfavorite place in the world last night (no, not
there, the other place - wally world)... and a 2 ltr bottle of soda is
98¢. At the register, the 16oz bottles were $1.19.... maybe 1/2 a liter
of soda. Ok, the first problem is that we do, on occasion, drink cola
drinks. But seriously.. what a mark up for an item that is much smaller.
There must be considerable profit in that, no? In the 70's, smaller cars
cost more than big, gas guzzlers. In the 80's, smaller computers cost
more than bigger computers; although I can understand the mark up for
items that are harder to make. Convenience.. that's the thing. There's
money in making big things smaller or more convenient, right?


lemme get this straight...

what you are saying is 'the smaller it is, the more I can charge for it? '

???

oh man... I'm gonna be rich...

ummmm... errrr...

;-)

z


.... we should do a double act... y'know like Martin and Lewis
we'd go down a storm ;-) ...

xkatx wrote:
"'Kate" wrote in message
news
On Thu, 03 Aug 2006 00:04:05 GMT, "Mike"
the following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

First off, I can understand how having the father come back after all
those
years can be quite disconcerting on all parties involved, so I do feel
some
sympathy for freeone.

That being said, I do pretty much agree with what everyone else is saying.
At least the dad is putting forth some effort. And frankly, you can't
blame
him that he's not all rosey over the man that's raising his kids (and may
very well be doing a good job in his absence). And maybe he's jealous of
his relationship with you (yeah, that's a stretch since it's been so long,
but men are weird... I should know... anyways)

*That* being said, remind me never to complain about my ex in here.

Mike

Never complain about your ex in here.

Was that too soon?

Complaining about ex's seems to get nowhere... I'm almost certain that
everyone with an ex in situations like these have some pretty nasty thoughts
every now and then, but really...

And no, it wasn't too soon. It wasn't soon enough. Should have been
mentioned before the OP posted :P (since they seemed to have kicked the
hornet's nest around and then left!)

I think the OP actually ran skeered ! She did the no-no . I had mixed
thoughts on the whole thread and chose not to post at first. Part of me
understands her feelings about him coming back after so long , part of
me knows we dont have his side of the story. I know my story and even
though my ex made it very hard for me and his children to communicate
with him, I never stopped trying to see our children have him in thier
lives.

Now that the girls are much older 19 and 25 this year, he seems to be
able to be somewhat supportive of them and I am really pleased and
happy for them.All those years he was not emotionally available for
them, he did help me financially, I would have traded the money for his
relationship with the girls to have been better for them .


I think the OP should consider the benefit to the children to have him
be a part of thier lives. I understand the OP's concern that he is bad
mouthing her, what she needs to realise is that thier children are not
stupid and can and will see through it eventually, I let our girls make
thier own decision to see him and they do and I am glad they do. I
think there are ways to discuss the issues she is having without
bashing the ex , we all know how easy it is on any given day to go into
that rant.

The subject line is "Dad brainwashing son" I have seen it before
:"parent brainwashing child" it does happen . My advice would be to get
the children involved in counsiling so someone other than mom or dad
can discuss with the children how the negative remarks are effecting
them, and give them an unbiased form of advice and understanding of it.
Bev

'Kate wrote:
On Wed, 2 Aug 2006 15:06:26 +0100, "Zorro" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:


"'Kate" wrote ...
..
snip
So I'm in my most unfavorite place in the world last night (no, not
there, the other place - wally world)... and a 2 ltr bottle of soda is
98¢. At the register, the 16oz bottles were $1.19.... maybe 1/2 a liter
of soda. Ok, the first problem is that we do, on occasion, drink cola
drinks. But seriously.. what a mark up for an item that is much smaller.

Isn't this just stupid!?!?!?!?! This is one of my own pet
peeves.......I rather spend extra for some paper cups and share the big
bottle with strangers!

There must be considerable profit in that, no? In the 70's, smaller cars
cost more than big, gas guzzlers. In the 80's, smaller computers cost
more than bigger computers; although I can understand the mark up for
items that are harder to make. Convenience.. that's the thing. There's
money in making big things smaller or more convenient, right?

It runs the same scam as decaffinated coffee, I realise it must cost
more to remove it but we are still paying more for less! ;-)

I don't know where I'm going with this so.. nevermind. :-)

your observation is understood and noted grin

"'Kate" wrote ...
"Kim" the following was posted in blue dry erase marker:


Ummmmmm doesn't cold icy water cause that?

Zorro? Curious minds want to know. :-)


Shhh ... trade secret,

Saving this one for when I do a summer sale...

you know the thing...

50% less FREE!

z

okay... I have a question... what the heck is an OP?
"Bev" wrote in message
ups.com...

xkatx wrote:
"'Kate" wrote in message
news
On Thu, 03 Aug 2006 00:04:05 GMT, "Mike"
the following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

First off, I can understand how having the father come back after all
those
years can be quite disconcerting on all parties involved, so I do feel
some
sympathy for freeone.

That being said, I do pretty much agree with what everyone else is
saying.
At least the dad is putting forth some effort. And frankly, you can't
blame
him that he's not all rosey over the man that's raising his kids (and
may
very well be doing a good job in his absence). And maybe he's jealous
of
his relationship with you (yeah, that's a stretch since it's been so
long,
but men are weird... I should know... anyways)

*That* being said, remind me never to complain about my ex in here.

Mike

Never complain about your ex in here.

Was that too soon?

Complaining about ex's seems to get nowhere... I'm almost certain that
everyone with an ex in situations like these have some pretty nasty
thoughts
every now and then, but really...

And no, it wasn't too soon. It wasn't soon enough. Should have been
mentioned before the OP posted :P (since they seemed to have kicked the
hornet's nest around and then left!)

I think the OP actually ran skeered ! She did the no-no . I had mixed
thoughts on the whole thread and chose not to post at first. Part of me
understands her feelings about him coming back after so long , part of
me knows we dont have his side of the story. I know my story and even
though my ex made it very hard for me and his children to communicate
with him, I never stopped trying to see our children have him in thier
lives.

Now that the girls are much older 19 and 25 this year, he seems to be
able to be somewhat supportive of them and I am really pleased and
happy for them.All those years he was not emotionally available for
them, he did help me financially, I would have traded the money for his
relationship with the girls to have been better for them .


I think the OP should consider the benefit to the children to have him
be a part of thier lives. I understand the OP's concern that he is bad
mouthing her, what she needs to realise is that thier children are not
stupid and can and will see through it eventually, I let our girls make
thier own decision to see him and they do and I am glad they do. I
think there are ways to discuss the issues she is having without
bashing the ex , we all know how easy it is on any given day to go into
that rant.

The subject line is "Dad brainwashing son" I have seen it before
:"parent brainwashing child" it does happen . My advice would be to get
the children involved in counsiling so someone other than mom or dad
can discuss with the children how the negative remarks are effecting
them, and give them an unbiased form of advice and understanding of it.
Bev

"Mike" wrote in message
ink.net...
okay... I have a question... what the heck is an OP?

The Original Poster

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On 1 Aug 2006 19:10:32 -0700, the following was
posted in blue dry erase marker:

Hello all,
I was searching the web and came across this site.
My ex just came into my childrens lives after 9 years.He never had
anything to do with them when we divorced and two years later I
feel in love with a man who took on the roll as a father figure in my
childrens lives and has raised my children with me for 7 years now.In
Jan. this year the ex came back around wanted a relationship with the
kids and I was happy to have some time to relax and not have to worry
about them one weekend out of a month ya no....the way it should be.

Huh? How things should be is mommy and daddy living together and
teaching the children, by example, what a good relationship looks like.

Could not agree more....

One weekend a month.....the way it should be.......????? Excuse me?????



I
thought all was going well until my daughter told me that the dad is
bad mouthing me and my husband to the kids calling us all sorts of
names and saying it is my fault he was not around all the years.

Maybe that's how he feels about what happened. Maybe bias in the family
court system made you the default parent. Maybe he got screwed out of
knowing his children and watching them grow up.


He has stoped child support as well 3months ago.

Oh well. Either get it enforced or let it go.

My daughter who is 16
says she is not going back to his home because of the constant talk
about how bad of parents my husband and I are and when she has asked
him to stop it is worse.

Why is she the one making all the sense in this household?


My son is 13 and was very young when his dad and I divorced so he
doesnt really know him and likes being at the dads home with friends he
has made there.

Good for him for wanting to know his dad and making the best of things.
He sure didn't ask for you and his father to divorce or for this kind of
animosity between you and his father.


Thing is my son now talks to me like I am trash off the
street yelling at me the way I was treated with his father and when I
tell him to stop he will curse me.
I have tried everything to make my son see that he does not need to
speak to me like this but he continues.His father told me that my son
hates my home and wants to live with him now.....

Seriously, your son is 13. Haven't you taught him that other people
sometimes have different views? Or to not treat you disrespectfully? Why
would you accept that behavior regardless of what you think is a reason
- that he learned it from your ex? I'm sure he learned a lot of things
that he knows better than to try at home. Set standards - same as
always. He's 13, not 21. It's your home. You make the rules. The minute
you argue or fight back to defend yourself, you've become fair game. It
takes two to play.


I am speachless over this news and cant believe it.My daughter thinks
my son will get over this and not to let him go.I do not plan to let my
son go live there but how can you make the ex stop turning the child
against you.My ex should be thanking my husband and I for all we have
done for the children instead of calling us names and acting as a
child.

I can't imagine expecting thanks from an ex for the privilege of raising
one's own children.

Sorry this is so long.
I am hopeing someone will have something to say about this.......

You can't make your ex do anything anymore than you can make him pay
child support, be nice to you and your children, and accept how things
are now. It'd be nice if we could just want things and have them happen,
huh?

"P. Fritz" paulfritz ATvoyager DOTnet wrote in message
...

"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On 1 Aug 2006 19:10:32 -0700, the following was
posted in blue dry erase marker:

Hello all,
I was searching the web and came across this site.
My ex just came into my childrens lives after 9 years.He never had
anything to do with them when we divorced and two years later I
feel in love with a man who took on the roll as a father figure in my
childrens lives and has raised my children with me for 7 years now.In
Jan. this year the ex came back around wanted a relationship with the
kids and I was happy to have some time to relax and not have to worry
about them one weekend out of a month ya no....the way it should be.

Huh? How things should be is mommy and daddy living together and
teaching the children, by example, what a good relationship looks like.

Could not agree more....

One weekend a month.....the way it should be.......????? Excuse me?????

There is so much wrong with this OP I won't even start. lol

'Kate wrote:
On 3 Aug 2006 07:33:29 -0700, "Bev" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:


Isn't this just stupid!?!?!?!?! This is one of my own pet
peeves.......I rather spend extra for some paper cups and share the big
bottle with strangers!

And don't they count on us not doing that! It's not like the 2 ltr
bottles are in the cooler.


hey I'd go as far as buying some ice too just to make myself feel
better grin
I hate it when "they" think they have the upper hand grin

There must be considerable profit in that, no? In the 70's, smaller cars
cost more than big, gas guzzlers. In the 80's, smaller computers cost
more than bigger computers; although I can understand the mark up for
items that are harder to make. Convenience.. that's the thing. There's
money in making big things smaller or more convenient, right?

It runs the same scam as decaffinated coffee, I realise it must cost
more to remove it but we are still paying more for less! ;-)

I don't know where I'm going with this so.. nevermind. :-)

your observation is understood and noted grin

Yes, I can be a goofball.

:-D

goofballs are fun!