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#1
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child support questions
How's it going everyone,
I thought I might post this question here since I'm looking for information regarding child support. I currently know a woman that has 4 children all by the same father and this person is her former husband. Their current ages are 16, 14, 13, and 11. Here is the situation. He was ordered to pay child support during the divorce that happened 6 or so years ago. The amount ordered was around $800 per month. For a time the father paid the support in a timely manner. The father later started his own business, a construction company of some sort. In the last year the father has stopped paying his support. The mother has a full time job paying mediocre wages. Not minimum wage, but not enough to support 4 children (around 20k per year). I helped the mother go through the local child support recovery service to request that the support be paid. The agency simply sent a letter to the father telling him that they have received a complaint that the ordered support hasn't been paid in over a year and gave him a total of what is owed. The father contacted the mother outraged at the bill. The father agreed to send "some money" for child support every month but wanted the mother to waive the back support (from what I understand this is not something that the mother can even agree to, and I strongly recommended against it). However the mother wanted to make a deal with the father. There has been lots of medical bills pilling up over the last year and some have went to collections. The bills amounted to about 2k vs the over 7k that the father owed in back support. The mother simply wanted the father to take care of the past medical bills that the children racked up and she would not go after him for the back support. This is where things get even stranger. She agreed to meet with the father at his home to discuss the bills. Even though she had a bag full of invoices from doctor offices when they added up the total he became outraged and refused to pay the bills in return for forgiving the back support. Before she could leave he assaulted her in his house , pushing her to the floor and man handling her (btw, happened a couple of times during the marriage also and the police was also called and an arrest was made). She was left with multiple bruises and an abrasion to the head after she struck the corner of a wall after being pushed. When she returned home the police was called and pictures of the bruises were taken. A warrant for the arrest of the father was issued and about a month later the father was arrested. The court date for the assault has been issued. Since the arrest the father now states that he wants nothing to do with the children. He does not want to see or speak with them. He states that he is disowning them and has vowed to seek revenge on the mother for having him arrested. Needless to say the mother is quite sure that she will not be seeing any voluntary child support from the father any time soon. I'm sure that the next step that should be taken is get a lawyer. However the problem that the mother is having is that the father is self employed. He has a bank account that is in the name of his company, but most jobs seem to be done under the table. Also the father is not very keen on reporting any income to the IRS. So proving income may not be as cut and dry as it should be. Also if the father was an employee with some company it would be easy to have his wages garnished. But since he is the owner that may not be so easy. I doubt if he is actually paying himself though a payroll but instead just living off the income that the company takes in. Also his company is not a separate entity from him. He has not turned it into a corporation, LLC, or any such thing. So does anyone have any advise on this situation? Oh, and I'm sure that some people may be asking what is my relation in this entire thing. I'm the recent boyfriend that for some reason has decided to stick around. Just kidding about the sticking around part. I love the mother, I love the kids. I just find it sickening that a father would act the way that this person has. I've always felt that parents should support their children. And sometimes that support comes in the way of financial responsibility. The father for some reason also believes that I'm going to gain from his child support. But I do just fine at a job making 60k a year and recently the rental property that I've purchased. So at no time do I ever feel in a pinch for cash. And there is no way that anyone could come to the conclusion that I ever had the idea of going out with the mother for her money. Actually I'm sure that I'll soon be opening my checkbook to pay for attorney fees to make sure that the children get what they are due. |
#2
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child support questions
wrote in message s.com... So does anyone have any advise on this situation? Move out and butt out! Let me guess - The CS payments stopped when the father realized his ex-wife was shacking up with you. He rightfully decided the money he was paying to provide food, housing, etc. for his children was being shared with a guy living there. Live-in boyfriends are leeches who divorced fathers despise. On all the other issues - CS, visitation, and medical coverage are none of your business so stay out of it. The issues are between the parents of the children. You know (or think you know) a lot about their circumstances. It's none of your business. |
#3
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child support questions
wrote in message s.com... . The mother has a full time job paying mediocre wages. Not minimum wage, but not enough to support 4 children (around 20k per year). .. The father for some reason also believes that I'm going to gain from his child support. But I do just fine at a job making 60k a year and recently the rental property that I've purchased. So at no time do I ever feel in a pinch for cash. Sounds to me like her 20k a year and your 60k a year Is plenty of money to raise the kids. |
#4
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child support questions
wrote in message s.com... How's it going everyone, I thought I might post this question here since I'm looking for information regarding child support. I currently know a woman that has 4 children all by the same father and this person is her former husband. Their current ages are 16, 14, 13, and 11. Here is the situation. He was ordered to pay child support during the divorce that happened 6 or so years ago. The amount ordered was around $800 per month. For a time the father paid the support in a timely manner. The father later started his own business, a construction company of some sort. In the last year the father has stopped paying his support. The mother has a full time job paying mediocre wages. Not minimum wage, but not enough to support 4 children (around 20k per year). I helped the mother go through the local child support recovery service to request that the support be paid. The agency simply sent a letter to the father telling him that they have received a complaint that the ordered support hasn't been paid in over a year and gave him a total of what is owed. The father contacted the mother outraged at the bill. The father agreed to send "some money" for child support every month but wanted the mother to waive the back support (from what I understand this is not something that the mother can even agree to, and I strongly recommended against it). However the mother wanted to make a deal with the father. There has been lots of medical bills pilling up over the last year and some have went to collections. The bills amounted to about 2k vs the over 7k that the father owed in back support. The mother simply wanted the father to take care of the past medical bills that the children racked up and she would not go after him for the back support. This is where things get even stranger. She agreed to meet with the father at his home to discuss the bills. Even though she had a bag full of invoices from doctor offices when they added up the total he became outraged and refused to pay the bills in return for forgiving the back support. Before she could leave he assaulted her in his house , pushing her to the floor and man handling her (btw, happened a couple of times during the marriage also and the police was also called and an arrest was made). She was left with multiple bruises and an abrasion to the head after she struck the corner of a wall after being pushed. When she returned home the police was called and pictures of the bruises were taken. A warrant for the arrest of the father was issued and about a month later the father was arrested. The court date for the assault has been issued. Since the arrest the father now states that he wants nothing to do with the children. He does not want to see or speak with them. He states that he is disowning them and has vowed to seek revenge on the mother for having him arrested. Needless to say the mother is quite sure that she will not be seeing any voluntary child support from the father any time soon. I'm sure that the next step that should be taken is get a lawyer. However the problem that the mother is having is that the father is self employed. He has a bank account that is in the name of his company, but most jobs seem to be done under the table. Also the father is not very keen on reporting any income to the IRS. So proving income may not be as cut and dry as it should be. Also if the father was an employee with some company it would be easy to have his wages garnished. But since he is the owner that may not be so easy. I doubt if he is actually paying himself though a payroll but instead just living off the income that the company takes in. Also his company is not a separate entity from him. He has not turned it into a corporation, LLC, or any such thing. So does anyone have any advise on this situation? Oh, and I'm sure that some people may be asking what is my relation in this entire thing. I'm the recent boyfriend that for some reason has decided to stick around. Just kidding about the sticking around part. I love the mother, I love the kids. I just find it sickening that a father would act the way that this person has. I've always felt that parents should support their children. And sometimes that support comes in the way of financial responsibility. The father for some reason also believes that I'm going to gain from his child support. But I do just fine at a job making 60k a year and recently the rental property that I've purchased. So at no time do I ever feel in a pinch for cash. And there is no way that anyone could come to the conclusion that I ever had the idea of going out with the mother for her money. Actually I'm sure that I'll soon be opening my checkbook to pay for attorney fees to make sure that the children get what they are due. You've already put her in touch with the people who will be willing to help her with her situation. SHE needs to follow through on it. If you insert yourself into it, it will get very messy, very fast. Let HER do what needs to be done--ie: keep in touch with the county agency that handles such issues. As for the assault, the police and district attorney handle such things. She doesn't have to do a thing except appear in court when required. What else do you think should be done? Why does she even need an attorney? CSE will handle the child support issue and criminal justice the assault issue. |
#5
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child support questions
On Sep 3, 12:34 pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote:
wrote in message s.com... So does anyone have any advise on this situation? Move out and butt out! Let me guess - The CS payments stopped when the father realized his ex-wife was shacking up with you. He rightfully decided the money he was paying to provide food, housing, etc. for his children was being shared with a guy living there. Live-in boyfriends are leeches who divorced fathers despise. On all the other issues - CS, visitation, and medical coverage are none of your business so stay out of it. The issues are between the parents of the children. You know (or think you know) a lot about their circumstances. It's none of your business. Nah, the support stopped long before I was in the picture. Me going out with her just gave him a new excuse to use. I've also thought about just saying "you know what love." " You money problems are your own, not my kids, not my problem if they eat or not" (which is actually a true statement, but I feel that I shouldn't be going out with her since the kids are part of the package and I knew that going into this relationship.) Also where did I mention who was living with who. She lives in a dump in the horrid part of town. I have far to many nice things to even think about moving that stuff into her house. Not to mention I don't like living in rentals. However I have been looking at a larger house. Something that would accommodate us and the kids. It would be my house, my mortgage payment and she would not be contributing to the mortgage at all. Not to mention that her credit rating would would do nothing but hurt the rate on the loan anyway. BTW all the bad credit is from, yep, you guessed it, past due medical bills going to collection. I know, we went over her credit reports together. But to touch on some of your other fine points. I also never mentioned visitation. Before the father decided to kick the mothers ass one day the kids used to head over to his house (about a mile away) every other weekend. when school was out they were there for a week at a time every two weeks. Not that they wanted to go, but the mother felt that it was important for them to keep in touch with the father. She provides medical coverage and always has since the divorce. But there were some items that the insurance didn't cover and her money didn't stretch far enough to pay the bill, put food on the table, keep the lights on, and pay the rent. I've already had her list her bills and I've figured them into my budget. I'll get them paid, that's not a problem. I've also had her redo her budget to factor out the sporadic and often non-existent support payments from the father. So it will be a bit tight for the mother without the support but I have no problem stepping in where he has failed to perform. But I think you may be right Bob. I may be looking at this the wrong way. Perhaps this guy is not the slime that I think he is. When I bought her kids shoes because the two sons actually had holes in the bottom of theirs I'm pretty sure there was a good reason for that. Oh, and I know what your thinking. The mom is mis-allocating that money. And that came to mind. I'm I being taken? Am I a wallet? Heck, this is the reason why I didn't have kids to make sure that I wouldn't be paycheck for the next 18 years! Well, I've gone over her finances. Because I wanted to make sure where the money was going. And with the child support she did OK. Without things are horribly tight in their house. I looked at their expenses to see what can be trimmed. There's no more cutting that can be done. Period. The only thing that counts as a luxury in my book (and LOTS of things count as luxuries in my book) is her cell phone. But that is her primary phone. And the bill isn't more then she would be paying for a traditional land line. Considering that she needs to be contacted in case of any emergencies while the kids are in school it makes sense to use the cell phone instead. There is no cable, no satellite, no internet, no new car, nothing. She did have a payment for furniture from a rent to own place but she was unable to keep up with the bi-weekly payments and had to surrender it back to the store. I had extra furniture sitting in storage and gave it to her. Rent to own places are such a rip-off. But yeah Bob. I'm sure I've got this guy all wrong. I'm sure there's always a good reason to not pay your court ordered child support. And an even better reason to let your kids suffer because you no longer love their mother. And I'm pretty sure that the father is plenty ****ed that the mother didn't go down in flames because some asshole like me stepped up to the plate and supported his kids when he refused to. It's a shame that when I was growing up I had this understanding that children was a responsibility for both of the people that had them. I didn't know that I could just screw until the cows came home and not have to worry about knocking up anyone. I could have had so much more fun and bedded so many more women. I'll need to pass that info along to her sons though. If they get someone knocked up don't worry about it. Just carry on as if nothing happened. And hope that she gets a boyfriend because then your off the hook completely. Ignore your children and the problem will go away. Oh if I just would have known then, what I know now! |
#6
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child support questions
wrote in message ups.com... On Sep 3, 12:34 pm, "Bob Whiteside" wrote: wrote in message s.com... So does anyone have any advise on this situation? Move out and butt out! Let me guess - The CS payments stopped when the father realized his ex-wife was shacking up with you. He rightfully decided the money he was paying to provide food, housing, etc. for his children was being shared with a guy living there. Live-in boyfriends are leeches who divorced fathers despise. On all the other issues - CS, visitation, and medical coverage are none of your business so stay out of it. The issues are between the parents of the children. You know (or think you know) a lot about their circumstances. It's none of your business. Nah, the support stopped long before I was in the picture. Me going out with her just gave him a new excuse to use. I've also thought about just saying "you know what love." " You money problems are your own, not my kids, not my problem if they eat or not" (which is actually a true statement, but I feel that I shouldn't be going out with her since the kids are part of the package and I knew that going into this relationship.) Also where did I mention who was living with who. She lives in a dump in the horrid part of town. I have far to many nice things to even think about moving that stuff into her house. Not to mention I don't like living in rentals. However I have been looking at a larger house. Something that would accommodate us and the kids. It would be my house, my mortgage payment and she would not be contributing to the mortgage at all. Not to mention that her credit rating would would do nothing but hurt the rate on the loan anyway. BTW all the bad credit is from, yep, you guessed it, past due medical bills going to collection. I know, we went over her credit reports together. But to touch on some of your other fine points. I also never mentioned visitation. Before the father decided to kick the mothers ass one day the kids used to head over to his house (about a mile away) every other weekend. when school was out they were there for a week at a time every two weeks. Not that they wanted to go, but the mother felt that it was important for them to keep in touch with the father. She provides medical coverage and always has since the divorce. But there were some items that the insurance didn't cover and her money didn't stretch far enough to pay the bill, put food on the table, keep the lights on, and pay the rent. I've already had her list her bills and I've figured them into my budget. I'll get them paid, that's not a problem. I've also had her redo her budget to factor out the sporadic and often non-existent support payments from the father. So it will be a bit tight for the mother without the support but I have no problem stepping in where he has failed to perform. But I think you may be right Bob. I may be looking at this the wrong way. Perhaps this guy is not the slime that I think he is. When I bought her kids shoes because the two sons actually had holes in the bottom of theirs I'm pretty sure there was a good reason for that. Oh, and I know what your thinking. The mom is mis-allocating that money. And that came to mind. I'm I being taken? Am I a wallet? Heck, this is the reason why I didn't have kids to make sure that I wouldn't be paycheck for the next 18 years! Well, I've gone over her finances. Because I wanted to make sure where the money was going. And with the child support she did OK. Without things are horribly tight in their house. I looked at their expenses to see what can be trimmed. There's no more cutting that can be done. Period. The only thing that counts as a luxury in my book (and LOTS of things count as luxuries in my book) is her cell phone. But that is her primary phone. And the bill isn't more then she would be paying for a traditional land line. Considering that she needs to be contacted in case of any emergencies while the kids are in school it makes sense to use the cell phone instead. There is no cable, no satellite, no internet, no new car, nothing. She did have a payment for furniture from a rent to own place but she was unable to keep up with the bi-weekly payments and had to surrender it back to the store. I had extra furniture sitting in storage and gave it to her. Rent to own places are such a rip-off. But yeah Bob. I'm sure I've got this guy all wrong. I'm sure there's always a good reason to not pay your court ordered child support. And an even better reason to let your kids suffer because you no longer love their mother. And I'm pretty sure that the father is plenty ****ed that the mother didn't go down in flames because some asshole like me stepped up to the plate and supported his kids when he refused to. It's a shame that when I was growing up I had this understanding that children was a responsibility for both of the people that had them. I didn't know that I could just screw until the cows came home and not have to worry about knocking up anyone. I could have had so much more fun and bedded so many more women. I'll need to pass that info along to her sons though. If they get someone knocked up don't worry about it. Just carry on as if nothing happened. And hope that she gets a boyfriend because then your off the hook completely. Ignore your children and the problem will go away. Oh if I just would have known then, what I know now! Why are you so angry? SHE needs to handle the CS matters. But that does NOT mean that you can't do all the things you have been doing--helping her with her budget, giving her much-needed furniture, etc. YOU can't change the father no matter how hard you try. Neither can she. The CS system has to handle the CS issues. You can get as many court orders as you want demanding the money--it will still cycle back to CSE to do the collecting. The CS system is not user friendly--and there are people on both sides of the aisle--CPs and NCPs--who are hurt by it. You need to focus in on what YOU can do--not on what the system should be doing but isn't. |
#7
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child support questions
I agree...
If he choses not to pay then he will probably sit in jail for a while on contempt, and on top of that ANY "business" assests that can be identified can be sold or confiscated, along with his home if his name is on the title. I have known people that had the homes taken for back support (if the rearage becomes excessive). Just let the courts deal with it though, she at the same time still needs to keep on the courts to get a court date to get this resolved. "teachrmama" wrote in message ... wrote in message s.com... How's it going everyone, I thought I might post this question here since I'm looking for information regarding child support. I currently know a woman that has 4 children all by the same father and this person is her former husband. Their current ages are 16, 14, 13, and 11. Here is the situation. He was ordered to pay child support during the divorce that happened 6 or so years ago. The amount ordered was around $800 per month. For a time the father paid the support in a timely manner. The father later started his own business, a construction company of some sort. In the last year the father has stopped paying his support. The mother has a full time job paying mediocre wages. Not minimum wage, but not enough to support 4 children (around 20k per year). I helped the mother go through the local child support recovery service to request that the support be paid. The agency simply sent a letter to the father telling him that they have received a complaint that the ordered support hasn't been paid in over a year and gave him a total of what is owed. The father contacted the mother outraged at the bill. The father agreed to send "some money" for child support every month but wanted the mother to waive the back support (from what I understand this is not something that the mother can even agree to, and I strongly recommended against it). However the mother wanted to make a deal with the father. There has been lots of medical bills pilling up over the last year and some have went to collections. The bills amounted to about 2k vs the over 7k that the father owed in back support. The mother simply wanted the father to take care of the past medical bills that the children racked up and she would not go after him for the back support. This is where things get even stranger. She agreed to meet with the father at his home to discuss the bills. Even though she had a bag full of invoices from doctor offices when they added up the total he became outraged and refused to pay the bills in return for forgiving the back support. Before she could leave he assaulted her in his house , pushing her to the floor and man handling her (btw, happened a couple of times during the marriage also and the police was also called and an arrest was made). She was left with multiple bruises and an abrasion to the head after she struck the corner of a wall after being pushed. When she returned home the police was called and pictures of the bruises were taken. A warrant for the arrest of the father was issued and about a month later the father was arrested. The court date for the assault has been issued. Since the arrest the father now states that he wants nothing to do with the children. He does not want to see or speak with them. He states that he is disowning them and has vowed to seek revenge on the mother for having him arrested. Needless to say the mother is quite sure that she will not be seeing any voluntary child support from the father any time soon. I'm sure that the next step that should be taken is get a lawyer. However the problem that the mother is having is that the father is self employed. He has a bank account that is in the name of his company, but most jobs seem to be done under the table. Also the father is not very keen on reporting any income to the IRS. So proving income may not be as cut and dry as it should be. Also if the father was an employee with some company it would be easy to have his wages garnished. But since he is the owner that may not be so easy. I doubt if he is actually paying himself though a payroll but instead just living off the income that the company takes in. Also his company is not a separate entity from him. He has not turned it into a corporation, LLC, or any such thing. So does anyone have any advise on this situation? Oh, and I'm sure that some people may be asking what is my relation in this entire thing. I'm the recent boyfriend that for some reason has decided to stick around. Just kidding about the sticking around part. I love the mother, I love the kids. I just find it sickening that a father would act the way that this person has. I've always felt that parents should support their children. And sometimes that support comes in the way of financial responsibility. The father for some reason also believes that I'm going to gain from his child support. But I do just fine at a job making 60k a year and recently the rental property that I've purchased. So at no time do I ever feel in a pinch for cash. And there is no way that anyone could come to the conclusion that I ever had the idea of going out with the mother for her money. Actually I'm sure that I'll soon be opening my checkbook to pay for attorney fees to make sure that the children get what they are due. You've already put her in touch with the people who will be willing to help her with her situation. SHE needs to follow through on it. If you insert yourself into it, it will get very messy, very fast. Let HER do what needs to be done--ie: keep in touch with the county agency that handles such issues. As for the assault, the police and district attorney handle such things. She doesn't have to do a thing except appear in court when required. What else do you think should be done? Why does she even need an attorney? CSE will handle the child support issue and criminal justice the assault issue. |
#8
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child support questions
The court set child support amount is what the father owes. I don't know about there, but here in Illinois the child support gets mailed into the state and they send it to the CP. I've been taken to court several times by the Department of Public Aid Child Support Enforcment because they mis-calculated the support amount... several times. If the fathers income has lowered he can probably get the CS amount lowered for the future payments but he owes the arrearage. I can't figure out why CSE takes me to court when I'm paid up (and ahead), but they let this guy get by without paying. I even had to pay child support when I was in the hospital for 2 months, and out of work 3 months. I would recommend that the mother get Child Support Enforcment on his case. If he doesn't have the income, he needs to prove it in court and get it changed or the arrearage just keeps building up. In my experience, I highly recommend suicide for NCP's, CSE will harass you, paying your court ordered support won't help, they still harass you. Just my $0.02. RogerN |
#9
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child support questions
On Sep 5, 2:29 am, "Roger_N" wrote:
The court setchildsupportamount is what the father owes. I don't know about there, but here in Illinois thechildsupportgets mailed into the state and they send it to the CP. I've been taken to court several times by the Department of Public AidChildSupportEnforcment because they mis-calculated thesupportamount... several times. If the fathers income has lowered he can probably get the CS amount lowered for the future payments but he owes the arrearage. I can't figure out why CSE takes me to court when I'm paid up (and ahead), but they let this guy get by without paying. I even had to paychildsupportwhen I was in the hospital for 2 months, and out of work 3 months. I would recommend that the mother getChildSupportEnforcment on his case. If he doesn't have the income, he needs to prove it in court and get it changed or the arrearage just keeps building up. In my experience, I highly recommend suicide for NCP's, CSE will harass you, paying your court orderedsupportwon't help, they still harass you. Just my $0.02. RogerN I wish the CSE here in NV were that aggressive, 14 yrs of waiting!! I am very pro-active. I have located him and even forwarded that to them. They just do what they want how they want!!! I would be much better off if the NCP just committed suicide, but ugliness won't help my situation except he would be better off to his child dead than alive. |
#10
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child support questions
wrote .................... .............. I would be much better off if the NCP just committed suicide, but ugliness won't help my situation except he would be better off to his child dead than alive. == Gee, I hope your child never learns to read usenet. Wish I could be a fly on the wall when he/she shows that gem to his/her dad. |
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