Need opinions about a birthday party (5 y.o.)

Hi everyone!

My daughter has been invited to the birthday party of one of her
classmates, and it's a fairly new situation for me, so I'm asking for
opinions here from some of you who've been there/done that.

Sage (my daughter) will turn 5 in June, and she's the youngest in her
Pre-K class. The birthday child is the next youngest, turning 5 next
week. His mom talked to me and another mom at school last week about
this party, acknowledging that it was going to be a whole afternoon
thing, noon until six, next Saturday. There will be 12 kids there,
they'll have lunch at the birthday house, then all travel together
(apparently; I haven't asked *how* yet) to the Science museum for a
few hours. It's a drop-off your kid thing, which is the fairly new
part for us (not drop off at the museum, just drop off at the house).
Sage has been to one party without one of her parents, and she was
fine (a little nervous), but it was only at a house, no travel, and it
was just 6 kids, for three hours. I was fine with that, but it struck
me as weird, because we've just moved, and we hadn't dealt with a
'drop-off' party before.

It seems, though, that this is the standard around here. I don't know
if I think she's too young for this, if it's too many hours, if the
travelling is the issue, or what, but I'm nervous. I plan on asking
the mom if they're having other adults, and what the driving
arrangements will be.

Is there anything else you all would ask? Do you think this is too
young altogether for any aspect of the plan outlined? I am familiar
with both parents, and I like them. We like the birthday kid, too.
One of the other moms and I were thinking about taking our toddlers to
the museum that day, just to be extra eyes hanging around, but that
seems a bit outrageous. I don't know. Sage wants to go, and I'd like
for her to if I can become comfortable with it. I should add that
Sage is very well behaved, and if I tell her to stay near the mom the
whole time, I have no doubt that she would, but I don't want to
frighten her, or make it not fun. I don't know, though, if telling
her to stay with a friend would be helpful (2 little kids together,
does that make much difference?), or if I should just not 'warn' her
about anything, and let her have fun like the others -- am I being
overprotective?

Thanks for any thoughts!

Tina.

I don't think you are being overprotective; I won't let my kids travel in a
car if I don't know the driver well, and 5 is kinda young for a drop-off
party. I would phone the host's parents, explain that your child really
wants to go, but that you are worried about her getting anxious on the
outing. Offer to help with transport. I'm sure the hosts will appreciate the
offer.

Tina wrote:
Hi everyone!

My daughter has been invited to the birthday party of one of her
classmates, and it's a fairly new situation for me, so I'm asking for
opinions here from some of you who've been there/done that.
snip

I think a drop-off party in someone's house for a 4 yr old is fine.
I would not let my 4 yr old go to a place like that (museum) without me or
her dad.

How will they be traveling there - all the kids in booster seats??
Who will be there to supervise all those kids??

I wouldn't be comfortable with that.

Can you volunteer to go too?


"Tina" wrote in message
om...
Hi everyone!

My daughter has been invited to the birthday party of one of her
classmates, and it's a fairly new situation for me, so I'm asking for
opinions here from some of you who've been there/done that.

Sage (my daughter) will turn 5 in June, and she's the youngest in her
Pre-K class. The birthday child is the next youngest, turning 5 next
week. His mom talked to me and another mom at school last week about
this party, acknowledging that it was going to be a whole afternoon
thing, noon until six, next Saturday. There will be 12 kids there,
they'll have lunch at the birthday house, then all travel together
(apparently; I haven't asked *how* yet) to the Science museum for a
few hours. It's a drop-off your kid thing, which is the fairly new
part for us (not drop off at the museum, just drop off at the house).
Sage has been to one party without one of her parents, and she was
fine (a little nervous), but it was only at a house, no travel, and it
was just 6 kids, for three hours. I was fine with that, but it struck
me as weird, because we've just moved, and we hadn't dealt with a
'drop-off' party before.

It seems, though, that this is the standard around here. I don't know
if I think she's too young for this, if it's too many hours, if the
travelling is the issue, or what, but I'm nervous. I plan on asking
the mom if they're having other adults, and what the driving
arrangements will be.

Is there anything else you all would ask? Do you think this is too
young altogether for any aspect of the plan outlined? I am familiar
with both parents, and I like them. We like the birthday kid, too.
One of the other moms and I were thinking about taking our toddlers to
the museum that day, just to be extra eyes hanging around, but that
seems a bit outrageous. I don't know. Sage wants to go, and I'd like
for her to if I can become comfortable with it. I should add that
Sage is very well behaved, and if I tell her to stay near the mom the
whole time, I have no doubt that she would, but I don't want to
frighten her, or make it not fun. I don't know, though, if telling
her to stay with a friend would be helpful (2 little kids together,
does that make much difference?), or if I should just not 'warn' her
about anything, and let her have fun like the others -- am I being
overprotective?

Thanks for any thoughts!

Tina.

"Tina" wrote in message
om...
Hi everyone!

My daughter has been invited to the birthday party of one of her
classmates, and it's a fairly new situation for me, so I'm asking for
opinions here from some of you who've been there/done that.

Sage (my daughter) will turn 5 in June, and she's the youngest in her
Pre-K class. The birthday child is the next youngest, turning 5 next
week. His mom talked to me and another mom at school last week about
this party, acknowledging that it was going to be a whole afternoon
thing, noon until six, next Saturday. There will be 12 kids there,
they'll have lunch at the birthday house, then all travel together
(apparently; I haven't asked *how* yet) to the Science museum for a
few hours. It's a drop-off your kid thing, which is the fairly new
part for us (not drop off at the museum, just drop off at the house).
Sage has been to one party without one of her parents, and she was
fine (a little nervous), but it was only at a house, no travel, and it
was just 6 kids, for three hours. I was fine with that, but it struck
me as weird, because we've just moved, and we hadn't dealt with a
'drop-off' party before.

It seems, though, that this is the standard around here. I don't know
if I think she's too young for this, if it's too many hours, if the
travelling is the issue, or what, but I'm nervous. I plan on asking
the mom if they're having other adults, and what the driving
arrangements will be.

Is there anything else you all would ask? Do you think this is too
young altogether for any aspect of the plan outlined? I am familiar
with both parents, and I like them. We like the birthday kid, too.
One of the other moms and I were thinking about taking our toddlers to
the museum that day, just to be extra eyes hanging around, but that
seems a bit outrageous. I don't know. Sage wants to go, and I'd like
for her to if I can become comfortable with it. I should add that
Sage is very well behaved, and if I tell her to stay near the mom the
whole time, I have no doubt that she would, but I don't want to
frighten her, or make it not fun. I don't know, though, if telling
her to stay with a friend would be helpful (2 little kids together,
does that make much difference?), or if I should just not 'warn' her
about anything, and let her have fun like the others -- am I being
overprotective?

Thanks for any thoughts!

by One Of Those Coincidences, my son's going to a 5 hour (cringe) party for
a 5 y.o. tomorrow with similar concerns. it's not specifically a drop-off
party, it's just that we think 5 hours is very, very long for such little
kids, & that nobody will _want_ to hang around that long, but maybe we
should just to help keep an eye on the inevitably increasingly
overstimulated children.

anyway. last year my son turned 7 & we had a party at the local swimming
pool. one of the dads came along & joined in even though we had plenty of
adults organised to supervise everyone, on the basis that their other,
younger kid (not invited to this particular party) wanted to go for a swim
that day, so they said at drop-off they're going over to the pool so we
caught up with them when all got there. fair enough we said, & a good time
had by all. now i'm still not 100% sure he wasn't tagging along because his
son (my kid's friend) is not that good of a swimmer & he just wanted to be
sure about it all, but at any rate he (& their daughter) were welcome to
join in & it was handy to have them there (another adult never goes astray
in a situation where there's kids going in all directions & whatnot). so,
whatever his motivation, he came along (they didn't come along to the part
of the party afterwards at our house, although we did invite them when we
were packing up from the pool) & it was absolutely fine & it was great to
have another adult hanging around (because little kids DO bolt off in all
directions, about 3 seconds after you ask them to all stay together.)

i think your situation's very similar - the other parents don't actually
realise yet how handy it would be if you happened to be tagging along, &
since you're not being rude & inviting yourself to the at-home part of the
party, why not? if you let them know beforehand you'd like to go to the
museum on the day too, & be very nice about it, they'd be silly to think
anything of it at all (except vague feelings of gratitude).

the first drop-off party is always a shock. my son was 6 & neither of us
were expecting it.
kylie
--
www.rdj.com.au

Tina wrote:
Hi everyone!

My daughter has been invited to the birthday party of one of her
classmates, and it's a fairly new situation for me, so I'm asking for
opinions here from some of you who've been there/done that.

Sage (my daughter) will turn 5 in June, and she's the youngest in her
Pre-K class. The birthday child is the next youngest, turning 5 next
week. His mom talked to me and another mom at school last week about
this party, acknowledging that it was going to be a whole afternoon
thing, noon until six, next Saturday. There will be 12 kids there,
they'll have lunch at the birthday house, then all travel together
(apparently; I haven't asked *how* yet) to the Science museum for a
few hours. It's a drop-off your kid thing, which is the fairly new
part for us (not drop off at the museum, just drop off at the house).
Sage has been to one party without one of her parents, and she was
fine (a little nervous), but it was only at a house, no travel, and it
was just 6 kids, for three hours. I was fine with that, but it struck
me as weird, because we've just moved, and we hadn't dealt with a
'drop-off' party before.

My son is a few months older that your daughter and went to his first
drop-off party in Dec. I dropped him off at the cinema and then they had
a party afterwards in the same building.

The Mum asked me whether I wanted to go to, but once I had established
that there would be other parents there, some of whom I know and could
ask specifically to keep an eye on my son I was quite happy to leave him.

I would not be happy about him going on someone else's car in this
situation, nor would I be happy about him going to a museum unless
someone was specifically caring for him (not necessarily me, but someone
who my son knew well).

6 hours including a museum trip does seem rather a big event for 4 and 5
year olds, and since you don't know these people very well I think your
feelings are perfectly natural.

What happened to good old jelly and icecream parties ;-)

Mary Ann

Tina wrote:

Hi everyone!

My daughter has been invited to the birthday party of one of her
classmates, and it's a fairly new situation for me, so I'm asking for
opinions here from some of you who've been there/done that.

[snip]


It seems, though, that this is the standard around here. I don't know
if I think she's too young for this, if it's too many hours, if the
travelling is the issue, or what, but I'm nervous. I plan on asking
the mom if they're having other adults, and what the driving
arrangements will be.


FWIW, I think it's too many hours and I'm not sure I like the travelling
(how far is the museum?) I would ask the mom if she needed additional
drivers (how else to transport 12 kids?) and volunteer (if you don't
mind and have a car for it) to help with some kids.

Is there anything else you all would ask? Do you think this is too
young altogether for any aspect of the plan outlined? I am familiar
with both parents, and I like them. We like the birthday kid, too.
One of the other moms and I were thinking about taking our toddlers to
the museum that day, just to be extra eyes hanging around, but that
seems a bit outrageous.

This sounds like a good idea - not at all outrageous, but I would talk
to the birthday mom first. Explain that your child is a bit young and
hasn't been left alone at a birthday party yet, and ask about the
travelling part (can you tell I'm nervous about the transportation of
children?)

Jeanne

Tina wrote:
Hi everyone!

My daughter has been invited to the birthday party of one of her
classmates, and it's a fairly new situation for me, so I'm asking for
opinions here from some of you who've been there/done that.

Sage (my daughter) will turn 5 in June, and she's the youngest in her
Pre-K class. The birthday child is the next youngest, turning 5 next
week. His mom talked to me and another mom at school last week about
this party, acknowledging that it was going to be a whole afternoon
thing, noon until six, next Saturday. There will be 12 kids there,
they'll have lunch at the birthday house, then all travel together
(apparently; I haven't asked *how* yet) to the Science museum for a
few hours. It's a drop-off your kid thing, which is the fairly new
part for us (not drop off at the museum, just drop off at the house).
Sage has been to one party without one of her parents, and she was
fine (a little nervous), but it was only at a house, no travel, and it
was just 6 kids, for three hours. I was fine with that, but it struck
me as weird, because we've just moved, and we hadn't dealt with a
'drop-off' party before.

It seems, though, that this is the standard around here. I don't know
if I think she's too young for this, if it's too many hours, if the
travelling is the issue, or what, but I'm nervous. I plan on asking
the mom if they're having other adults, and what the driving
arrangements will be.

Is there anything else you all would ask? Do you think this is too
young altogether for any aspect of the plan outlined? I am familiar
with both parents, and I like them. We like the birthday kid, too.
One of the other moms and I were thinking about taking our toddlers to
the museum that day, just to be extra eyes hanging around, but that
seems a bit outrageous. I don't know. Sage wants to go, and I'd like
for her to if I can become comfortable with it. I should add that
Sage is very well behaved, and if I tell her to stay near the mom the
whole time, I have no doubt that she would, but I don't want to
frighten her, or make it not fun. I don't know, though, if telling
her to stay with a friend would be helpful (2 little kids together,
does that make much difference?), or if I should just not 'warn' her
about anything, and let her have fun like the others -- am I being
overprotective?

Thanks for any thoughts!

Tina.

I don't think 4- and 5-year-olds, in general, are too young for drop-off
parties, but 6 hours sounds like an awfully long party for little kids.
Heck, it sounds like a long party for adults, but my tolerance for
parties of any kind usually runs out after about 3 hours.

My main concern would be who is going to transport and supervise *12*
kids at a museum? At that age, they'd all need at least booster seats,
so there would have to be several drivers. I'd certainly ask who's
driving, and offer to go along, if you don't mind going. If I were
having a party like this (can you say *when hell freezes over"?) I
can't imagine objecting to the presence of another adult.

Clisby

Hi -

Just ask if you can come along. Offer to help do the driving. I
wouldn't want my child to be driven by someone I don't know, to be in an
unfamiliar situation for SIX hours, and so forth, in Pre-K. We didn't
start doing dropoffs until the kids were 4 1/2, and then it was short
parties (2 hrs) at houses where they'd been for playdates.

My two cents,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

"Daisy" wrote in message ...
I don't think you are being overprotective; I won't let my kids travel in a
car if I don't know the driver well, and 5 is kinda young for a drop-off
party. I would phone the host's parents, explain that your child really
wants to go, but that you are worried about her getting anxious on the
outing. Offer to help with transport. I'm sure the hosts will appreciate the
offer.


Thanks, I think I will offer -- I can fit my daughter plus 2 others in
my car, so it might be helpful.

Tina.

"Sophie" wrote in message ...
I think a drop-off party in someone's house for a 4 yr old is fine.
I would not let my 4 yr old go to a place like that (museum) without me or
her dad.

How will they be traveling there - all the kids in booster seats??
Who will be there to supervise all those kids??

I wouldn't be comfortable with that.

Can you volunteer to go too?



I will volunteer, and I'm hoping they've thought this all through,
because even if I and my friend (the other mom) go, and it's the
parents plus us, I still think that's about the minimum for safety at
the museum -- three kids per adult. It would be a lot easier if
there's five or six adults, I think. I get nervous with my 2 in a
museum, I can't imagine watching several probably rowdy kids that
aren't even mine!

Tina.