Deadbeats

Okay Phil #3 I can see why you would be upset. That is totally wrong
how
she is using her Child Support money. She is a leech. I think she can
live off $400 a month or less. It's not like she is has
responsibilities.
She is living large at your expensive. That's not good. Have you
tried
to modify? I am just curious if you can have your support lowered.

Pammie1

When it mattered most, I could not afford to even take off of work long
enough for a hearing, much less hire an attorney or even research it
myself.
Now I'm down to less than a year so it would likely cost me as much or
more
than I could save, not to mention I am temporarily stationed 1000 miles
from
the state of origin.
Besides, I've learned to live without it, soon we'll see if SHE can
Phil #3
------------
I don't think she would be able to survive without that extra income
coming in. That would be interesting to see. Less than a year to
go...wow your time will be up before you know it. Are you planning a big
get away when that time comes?

Pammie1

Well AZ what are you suggesting Child support is to be used for? There
are women getting $1000 a month.

just because there are women receiving that kind of money for CS is not
justification for others to receive the same.

You can only buy so many clothes, so
much food, etc.. I think putting money away for college is a great
idea.

I agree it is a great idea, but I believe you missed the point. If
college
is something that is agreed on by both parents, then both parents should
set
up their own college fund for the child. It is something that should not
be
forced. I wouldn't force that on my fiance's ex - she couldn't afford
it.

Do you not know that child support can be extended an extra 4 years if
the
child decides to go to college? So that's a total of 22 years of child
support. Support money is used for college anyway thank you very much.

I
think spending $40 at a fun park is better than spending it at a casino
or
trips around the world. Since the dad isn't here to entertain the kid
the
fun park makes up for that.

Yes $40 at a fun park is better spent then wasting it at a casino. We
take
our kids to the movies often, plus go boating, riding, and other fun
activities. These items are paid by us. We don't expect the children's
other parent to help us do fun things with our children. Instead we
would
rather allow them to have the ability to do those things on their own
with
the kids. If they decide not to, then it is their choice - not ours.
Not
to mention it is their loss - not ours. Unfortunately typically we have
to
deal with the heartache of the children when their other parent skips out
on
them. It is not easy being the parent of a child when the other parent
is
not as active in their lives as you are. It happens, and it is part of
life. The key is to not put so much of a financial strain on the other
parent that they are unable to be part of the child's life. It is more
in
the best interest of the child to have all parents involved in their
lives
-
not just one at the financial expense of the other.

Working out the financial support of children via divorce is something
both
parents should do. It is better for the children if the parents would
agree
on the amount. A state should not be making that decision.


Tracy
------------

Tracy I gave the $1000 a month as an example, being that's a lot of money
to receive a month. Once my $600 cover the basic needs there is nothing
left to splurge on or set aside. I know not everyone get that kind of
money a month. Every case is different, every person is different. You
say that the court should not determine how much a NCP should pay? Well
sometimes we have no choice but to use the court. In my case the dad
didn't even come around, so how could we have set a payment amount. With
his first support case the mother only asked for $75 a week to help with
day care. He didn't pay she took it to court and now he is ordered to pay
$150 a week. Now how stupid can a person be. He should have taken the
$75 a week. Your comment about you shouldn't put a financial strain on the
NCP maybe he will come around more, well in my case before Child support
even came about he never took part in her life. So those deadbeats out
there need to have a Child support order against them.

Pammie1

"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
Okay Phil #3 I can see why you would be upset. That is totally wrong
how
she is using her Child Support money. She is a leech. I think she can
live off $400 a month or less. It's not like she is has
responsibilities.
She is living large at your expensive. That's not good. Have you
tried
to modify? I am just curious if you can have your support lowered.

Pammie1

When it mattered most, I could not afford to even take off of work long
enough for a hearing, much less hire an attorney or even research it
myself.
Now I'm down to less than a year so it would likely cost me as much or
more
than I could save, not to mention I am temporarily stationed 1000 miles
from
the state of origin.
Besides, I've learned to live without it, soon we'll see if SHE can
Phil #3
------------
I don't think she would be able to survive without that extra income
coming in. That would be interesting to see. Less than a year to
go...wow your time will be up before you know it. Are you planning a big
get away when that time comes?

Pammie1


I don't know what I'll do. It will be like getting a big raise, though.
Phil #3

In article .net, Phil #3
says...


"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message
alkaboutparenting.com...
Okay Phil #3 I can see why you would be upset. That is totally wrong
how
she is using her Child Support money. She is a leech. I think she can
live off $400 a month or less. It's not like she is has
responsibilities.
She is living large at your expensive. That's not good. Have you
tried
to modify? I am just curious if you can have your support lowered.

Pammie1

When it mattered most, I could not afford to even take off of work long
enough for a hearing, much less hire an attorney or even research it
myself.
Now I'm down to less than a year so it would likely cost me as much or
more
than I could save, not to mention I am temporarily stationed 1000 miles
from
the state of origin.
Besides, I've learned to live without it, soon we'll see if SHE can
Phil #3
------------
I don't think she would be able to survive without that extra income
coming in. That would be interesting to see. Less than a year to
go...wow your time will be up before you know it. Are you planning a big
get away when that time comes?

Pammie1


I don't know what I'll do. It will be like getting a big raise, though.
Phil #3
====
It surely will. But, in our case, they found an "error" that resulted in us
having to pay another couple grand. We accepted that because we were concerned
they'd find more "errors" if we didn't. Now that it is completely over, however,
we feel we have a real life.
====
====

"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...


Tracy I gave the $1000 a month as an example, being that's a lot of money
to receive a month. Once my $600 cover the basic needs there is nothing
left to splurge on or set aside. I know not everyone get that kind of
money a month. Every case is different, every person is different. You
say that the court should not determine how much a NCP should pay? Well
sometimes we have no choice but to use the court. In my case the dad
didn't even come around, so how could we have set a payment amount. With
his first support case the mother only asked for $75 a week to help with
day care. He didn't pay she took it to court and now he is ordered to pay
$150 a week. Now how stupid can a person be. He should have taken the
$75 a week. Your comment about you shouldn't put a financial strain on the
NCP maybe he will come around more, well in my case before Child support
even came about he never took part in her life. So those deadbeats out
there need to have a Child support order against them.

Question, Pammie: You get $600 per month from the dad?

"Phil #3" wrote in message
link.net...

"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
Okay Phil #3 I can see why you would be upset. That is totally wrong
how
she is using her Child Support money. She is a leech. I think she
can
live off $400 a month or less. It's not like she is has
responsibilities.
She is living large at your expensive. That's not good. Have you
tried
to modify? I am just curious if you can have your support lowered.

Pammie1

When it mattered most, I could not afford to even take off of work long
enough for a hearing, much less hire an attorney or even research it
myself.
Now I'm down to less than a year so it would likely cost me as much or
more
than I could save, not to mention I am temporarily stationed 1000 miles
from
the state of origin.
Besides, I've learned to live without it, soon we'll see if SHE can
Phil #3
------------
I don't think she would be able to survive without that extra income
coming in. That would be interesting to see. Less than a year to
go...wow your time will be up before you know it. Are you planning a
big
get away when that time comes?

Pammie1


I don't know what I'll do. It will be like getting a big raise, though.
Phil #3

I sent my ex an Excel spreadsheet detailing all of the payments for CS,
alimony, attorney fees, and other expenses I was required to pay broken down
by year.

I thought she would thank me for being so generous and taking care of my
responsibilities. And tell me she couldn't have been the CP without my
financial contributions and relate how much she appreciated my willingness
to be so liberal in helping out with extra visitations. /s/

As usual her response was she never got that much money. But she got the
point - it was a major amount she no longer would get.

Tracy I gave the $1000 a month as an example, being that's a lot of
money
to receive a month. Once my $600 cover the basic needs there is
nothing
left to splurge on or set aside. I know not everyone get that kind of
money a month. Every case is different, every person is different.
You
say that the court should not determine how much a NCP should pay?
Well
sometimes we have no choice but to use the court. In my case the dad
didn't even come around, so how could we have set a payment amount.
With
his first support case the mother only asked for $75 a week to help
with
day care. He didn't pay she took it to court and now he is ordered to
pay
$150 a week. Now how stupid can a person be. He should have taken the
$75 a week. Your comment about you shouldn't put a financial strain on
the
NCP maybe he will come around more, well in my case before Child
support
even came about he never took part in her life. So those deadbeats out
there need to have a Child support order against them.

Question, Pammie: You get $600 per month from the dad?

-----------

Well Teachrmama it's like this. He is ordered to pay $600 a month. I
can't get him to make regular payments. I filed a Civil Contempt against
him and he made a $2600 payment to keep from going to jail or being put on
probation. I am still fighting for the probation. That's the only way I
can be guaranteed payments. It's not my fault he decided to have so many
kids by so many different women. Just to update you he had me and another
girl pregnant at the same time. Our kids are only 3 months apart. He had
another one like a year and a half later. I just found out that he wants
to take me to court to reduce his support. He never showed up or
responded to any of the child support papers when I first filed against
him. Now he is wanting to beg the court to lower his amount. He need to
get a second job. Everything is going up in price, Gas, food, health
insurance, everything. I am going to fight this case. I don't want them
to lower his support amount. Right now he is only paying $100 a month.

Pammie1

I think putting money away for college is a great idea.
Do you not know that child support can be extended an extra 4 years if
the
child decides to go to college? So that's a total of 22 years of child
support.
------------
Not all states have this written into their laws.
-----------
Support money is used for college anyway thank you very much.
-------------
Cs is NOT supposed to be used for college unless and until it is ordered
for
college. Using cs 'for college' when a kid is 10 or whatever is wrong.
And
the biggest wrong about forcing a ncdad to pay for adult children in
college
is that there is nothing similar, (at all), for kids from intact
families.
Why should a kid from a broken family be provided with a college
education
when there is no law requiring intact families to pay for their kids
college
education? A law that not only forces a dad to pay but does so under
threat
of prison!
--------------
-----------
I
think spending $40 at a fun park is better than spending it at a casino
or
trips around the world. Since the dad isn't here to entertain the kid
the
fun park makes up for that.
-------------
Say it as much as you want but that doesn't change the way cs is set up.
So
you see, you are one of those women using cs in ways it is not intended.

~AZ~
-------------

Why are you making a big issue over a CP saving for her kid education?
It's no law stating that a CP will be put in jail if she decides to put CS
money away for her kid future. Regardless it's the kids money now or
later. So get the thorns out of you butt and get over it. I don't think
that's misusing the money at all. I am not blowing it on some sorry man,
or the casino. The money is going into her saving for her future.
Why are you wanting to deprive a kid from getting a college education just
because they came from a single parent household? Wow cares about that.
An education is important period. If a married couple can't put their kid
through college then that's their mismanagement of money. I am going to
do it as a single parent. I am not going to let anyone discourage me from
it. I don't care where the funds come from.

Pammie1

"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message
lkaboutparenting.com...
I think putting money away for college is a great idea.
Do you not know that child support can be extended an extra 4 years if
the
child decides to go to college? So that's a total of 22 years of child
support.
------------
Not all states have this written into their laws.
-----------
Support money is used for college anyway thank you very much.
-------------
Cs is NOT supposed to be used for college unless and until it is ordered
for
college. Using cs 'for college' when a kid is 10 or whatever is wrong.
And
the biggest wrong about forcing a ncdad to pay for adult children in
college
is that there is nothing similar, (at all), for kids from intact
families.
Why should a kid from a broken family be provided with a college
education
when there is no law requiring intact families to pay for their kids
college
education? A law that not only forces a dad to pay but does so under
threat
of prison!
--------------
-----------
I
think spending $40 at a fun park is better than spending it at a casino
or
trips around the world. Since the dad isn't here to entertain the kid
the
fun park makes up for that.
-------------
Say it as much as you want but that doesn't change the way cs is set up.
So
you see, you are one of those women using cs in ways it is not intended.

~AZ~
-------------

Why are you making a big issue over a CP saving for her kid education?
It's no law stating that a CP will be put in jail if she decides to put CS
money away for her kid future. Regardless it's the kids money now or
later. So get the thorns out of you butt and get over it. I don't think
that's misusing the money at all. I am not blowing it on some sorry man,
or the casino. The money is going into her saving for her future.
Why are you wanting to deprive a kid from getting a college education just
because they came from a single parent household? Wow cares about that.
An education is important period. If a married couple can't put their kid
through college then that's their mismanagement of money. I am going to
do it as a single parent. I am not going to let anyone discourage me from
it. I don't care where the funds come from.

That's a very unkind thing to say, Pammie. It is not necessarily
mismanagement of money that keep a married couple from putting their kids
through college. Some people are actually living from paycheck to paycheck
with no way of putting any money aside. These parents are not forced by the
government to put their kids through college. But a divorced/never married
dad might be forced to take out loans up the wazoo just to sent his child to
college and pay on those loans the rest of his life. *That* is the
unfairness AZ is talking about.

Are you saying that, at this point in time, even though you are only
receiving $100 per month from you child's father in CS, you are able to put
money away for college?

In article , teachrmama says...


"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message
alkaboutparenting.com...
I think putting money away for college is a great idea.
Do you not know that child support can be extended an extra 4 years if
the
child decides to go to college? So that's a total of 22 years of child
support.
------------
Not all states have this written into their laws.
-----------
Support money is used for college anyway thank you very much.
-------------
Cs is NOT supposed to be used for college unless and until it is ordered
for
college. Using cs 'for college' when a kid is 10 or whatever is wrong.
And
the biggest wrong about forcing a ncdad to pay for adult children in
college
is that there is nothing similar, (at all), for kids from intact
families.
Why should a kid from a broken family be provided with a college
education
when there is no law requiring intact families to pay for their kids
college
education? A law that not only forces a dad to pay but does so under
threat
of prison!
--------------
-----------
I
think spending $40 at a fun park is better than spending it at a casino
or
trips around the world. Since the dad isn't here to entertain the kid
the
fun park makes up for that.
-------------
Say it as much as you want but that doesn't change the way cs is set up.
So
you see, you are one of those women using cs in ways it is not intended.

~AZ~
-------------

Why are you making a big issue over a CP saving for her kid education?
It's no law stating that a CP will be put in jail if she decides to put CS
money away for her kid future. Regardless it's the kids money now or
later. So get the thorns out of you butt and get over it. I don't think
that's misusing the money at all. I am not blowing it on some sorry man,
or the casino. The money is going into her saving for her future.
Why are you wanting to deprive a kid from getting a college education just
because they came from a single parent household? Wow cares about that.
An education is important period. If a married couple can't put their kid
through college then that's their mismanagement of money. I am going to
do it as a single parent. I am not going to let anyone discourage me from
it. I don't care where the funds come from.


That's a very unkind thing to say, Pammie. It is not necessarily
mismanagement of money that keep a married couple from putting their kids
through college.
====
It might be that the married couple can't afford to put their kids through
college because dad is paying so much CS for earlier born children.
====

Some people are actually living from paycheck to paycheck
with no way of putting any money aside. These parents are not forced by the
government to put their kids through college.
====
Not even permitted to put money in savings for later born kids--The money must
go to older ones' mother to spend as she wishes.
====
====