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Fifth Grade Boys
No horror stories here, just a question prompted by the Fifth Grade Girls
thread: It is likely that we will be moving to a new area (new school) the summer before my son enters 5th grade (about one year from now). When I tell people I feel bad about taking my kids out of their existing school, they say, "Oh, kids are resilient, they'll adjust." But when I tell them the oldest will be entering 5th grade at the time of the move, they invariably seem horrified. To those of you who've been through this phase with a child, whether or not the child was new to a school, does that indeed seem like a exceptionally bad time to move a kid? Would you not do it, if it could be avoided? (It could be, but not easily.) Thanks. |
#2
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Fifth Grade Boys
In article , Beth Gallagher wrote:
No horror stories here, just a question prompted by the Fifth Grade Girls thread: It is likely that we will be moving to a new area (new school) the summer before my son enters 5th grade (about one year from now). When I tell people I feel bad about taking my kids out of their existing school, they say, "Oh, kids are resilient, they'll adjust." But when I tell them the oldest will be entering 5th grade at the time of the move, they invariably seem horrified. To those of you who've been through this phase with a child, whether or not the child was new to a school, does that indeed seem like a exceptionally bad time to move a kid? Would you not do it, if it could be avoided? (It could be, but not easily.) When I was a child, my family moved near the end (April) of my 5th grade year. I was accepted just fine into the new 5th grade class, and made a close friend in 6th the next year (still in elementary in the city I moved to). I had my share of social problems, but mostly they were in high school, and I can't really blame them on the move. (But I'm still ****ed about the big 5th grade camping trip in May that I had to miss!) ;-O Although summer seems the logical time to move, it may actually be easier if you can move in the spring so he can get into school and meet some friends before summer. If that's not possible, try to find out what kind of activities are popular for kids in his school over the summer and try to sign him up for some of those so he can meet some kids from school before he starts. Good luck, --Robyn |
#3
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Fifth Grade Boys
In article , "Beth Gallagher"
wrote: No horror stories here, just a question prompted by the Fifth Grade Girls thread: It is likely that we will be moving to a new area (new school) the summer before my son enters 5th grade (about one year from now). When I tell people I feel bad about taking my kids out of their existing school, they say, "Oh, kids are resilient, they'll adjust." But when I tell them the oldest will be entering 5th grade at the time of the move, they invariably seem horrified. To those of you who've been through this phase with a child, whether or not the child was new to a school, does that indeed seem like a exceptionally bad time to move a kid? Would you not do it, if it could be avoided? (It could be, but not easily.) Thanks. I don't know that there is a great age, and how difficult it will be will vary from kid to kid, but this will be easier than moving when he's 12 or 13. Is there any chance you can move BEFORE the summer? While it makes sense to try to not move kids during the school year once they are in high school, and maybe 7th and 8th grades, there are some advantages to moving during the school year when the kids are younger: they know kids before summer starts, and as the "new kid" in the middle of a year, instead of just one more new kid at the beginning of the year and when everyone is reconnecting with friends they may not have seen over the summer, they get more positive attention, and are less likely to get lost in the shuffle of everything starting fresh. meh -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#4
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Fifth Grade Boys
In article , Beth Gallagher wrote:
It is likely that we will be moving to a new area (new school) the summer before my son enters 5th grade (about one year from now). When I tell people I feel bad about taking my kids out of their existing school, they say, "Oh, kids are resilient, they'll adjust." But when I tell them the oldest will be entering 5th grade at the time of the move, they invariably seem horrified. To those of you who've been through this phase with a child, whether or not the child was new to a school, does that indeed seem like a exceptionally bad time to move a kid? Would you not do it, if it could be avoided? (It could be, but not easily.) No personal experience (my son has had times away from his regular school, but he's only 2nd grade, not 5th). I think it depends a lot on the kid and what sort of friendships he's formed and how easily he forms new friendships. If he is a member of a group of kids who have been doing things together for several years, it may be very difficult for him to adjust to a new group---groups of friends form microcultures that can shape how kids interact with others in powerful ways. If he has moved before or has participated in camps with kids he's not met before or has several different activities with different groups of friends in each activity, then he'll probably find it easier to adjust to a new group. -- Kevin Karplus http://www.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus life member (LAB, Adventure Cycling, American Youth Hostels) Effective Cycling Instructor #218-ck (lapsed) Professor of Biomolecular Engineering, University of California, Santa Cruz Undergraduate and Graduate Director, Bioinformatics Affiliations for identification only. |
#5
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Fifth Grade Boys
In article , "Beth Gallagher"
wrote: No horror stories here, just a question prompted by the Fifth Grade Girls thread: It is likely that we will be moving to a new area (new school) the summer before my son enters 5th grade (about one year from now). When I tell people I feel bad about taking my kids out of their existing school, they say, "Oh, kids are resilient, they'll adjust." But when I tell them the oldest will be entering 5th grade at the time of the move, they invariably seem horrified. To those of you who've been through this phase with a child, whether or not the child was new to a school, does that indeed seem like a exceptionally bad time to move a kid? Would you not do it, if it could be avoided? (It could be, but not easily.) I haven't been through this phase with my child yet, but I remember it pretty well from my own youth. I was in the same school from K to 8th grade, and had a pretty rugged time in fourth grade from the kind of toxic girls mentioned in the other thread. If I'd been told we were moving to a new school for 5th grade, I probably would have turned cartwheels of joy, had I been able to turn cartwheels at all. So I guess it depends on his experience with his current school, how much his social life is bound up with his schoolmates, whether he'd still be able to get together with his closest friends after you move, etc. If he likes his school life and is doing well, it does seem to me like a bad time to move, especially if he'd be starting middle school in sixth grade. |
#6
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Fifth Grade Boys
It is likely that we will be moving to a new area (new school) the summer
before my son enters 5th grade (about one year from now). We just did this, moving last summer right before Henry started 5th grade. It was hard for him to anticipate it all summer, and he was mad, mad MAD at us, but ultimately he has done very well. Advice: Reach out to the school and let them know your concerns. Work with the principal for the right placement in the right classroom for your son. This was imperative for us and our principal did an outstanding job, placing Henry in the exact perfect situation to optimize his success. In other words, don't be afraid to assert yourself with the school. Let your son find his own way, don't push him into summer activities just to meet kids. Henry did not want to do that and we did not push him; neither did we push him to meet kids in the neighborhood. He made his own fun over the summer (which he is happy doing) and made friends on his own terms come fall. YMMV of course, depending on the kid. Reach out to families in the new work environment -- we had one family that we hung out with over the summer and that provided enough friendship for Henry. Acknowledge it will be hard, but repeatedly let him know you are confident he can handle it and will do well. Reinforce that he is strong and capable and can do it. It's tricky, but this can be done while still letting him know that you understand his apprehension. There's a thread of advice that I started last April or May when we learned of our move -- you could probably find it on google (I don't have time to look right now). If you want to talk via e-mail, let me know. -Dawn Mom to Henry, 11 |
#7
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Fifth Grade Boys
"Beth Gallagher" wrote in message ...
No horror stories here, just a question prompted by the Fifth Grade Girls thread: It is likely that we will be moving to a new area (new school) the summer before my son enters 5th grade (about one year from now). When I tell people I feel bad about taking my kids out of their existing school, they say, "Oh, kids are resilient, they'll adjust." But when I tell them the oldest will be entering 5th grade at the time of the move, they invariably seem horrified. I have a 7th grade boy, and a 3rd grade boy, so I know something about this age. In my experience at least, boys in 5th grade are pretty accepting of someone new and a move at this age is not a big deal. Boys seem to care less about the cliques and are less judgemental about clothing, hair, etc. as girls these age tend to be. Now, all my caveats. In our school district 5th graders are still in the elementary school, in others near here 5th grade is variously part of a "middle school" of 4-6 grade, 3-5 grade, and 5-8 grade. I think the 5-8 grade situation might be harder to move into. Our school is also fairly rural and very small (the same 70 kids that start kindergarten together graduate from HS together). While we have our drug, alcohol, and sex problems, we don't see as many issues as others schools. Fifth grade can be the start of those things. Based on what i see now, I think moving in 7th or 8th grade would be much harder. These are tough years for most kids, so if the option is to wait a year or two, I'd say move now. Chris |
#8
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Fifth Grade Boys
"Beth Gallagher" wrote:
No horror stories here, just a question prompted by the Fifth Grade Girls thread: It is likely that we will be moving to a new area (new school) the summer before my son enters 5th grade (about one year from now). When I tell people I feel bad about taking my kids out of their existing school, they say, "Oh, kids are resilient, they'll adjust." But when I tell them the oldest will be entering 5th grade at the time of the move, they invariably seem horrified. To those of you who've been through this phase with a child, whether or not the child was new to a school, does that indeed seem like a exceptionally bad time to move a kid? Would you not do it, if it could be avoided? (It could be, but not easily.) As dh was in the Navy, my kids moved a lot. Dd#1 had been in 7 different schools by the 7th grade, dd#2 in 5 schools by 5th grade and dd#1 in two kindergartens. We didn't move after that so ds did not change schools at all. I personally feel that if the child has parental support, that they will indeed adjust. IT seems to me that moving during hs might really be more of a problem although we did not have to do that. We found that it was way harder to move during the summer than to go ahead and move in say - April of the year. . DD#1 moved 5 times during the school year (kindergarten, first grade, second grade, 4th grade and 7th grade) and twice during the summer (third grade and 6th grade). It also does depend on the child's personality. DD#2 was much more extroverted and high energy than dd#1 and dd#3. Moving was always more difficult for dd#1 regardless of her age or grade. My dd#1 was a very self possessed but introverted child. We did not have any particular issues with moving until dd#1 entered 3rd grade in a new school at the beginning of the year and her teacher complained that dd#1 didn't talk about her friends, only about her sisters. In 4th grade the teacher was very annoyed to have a new student in the spring and refused to explain the method that dd should use during long division - just flunked her for not doing the right method even though she got the right answer. She had migraines for a short time. DD#2 had an issue with writing cursive - she was doing it in 2nd grade and the school she moved to didn't do it until the 3rd grade, so she refused to write cursive in the 3rd grade. Others have given what I see as good advice on the best way to do it. My only advice is that kids whose mothers are OK with the move do not have significant problems with moving. grandma Rosalie |
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