Updates

"Tiffany" wrote in message ...
Well, well..... My daughter is now a half-sister. Her fathers girlfriend had
the baby over the weekend. She is excited about it..... I honestly could
care less. (Yes, I am like that. If you can't take care of one kid, you
don't have more.)

Anyways.... I think her Grandfather is going to see the baby as soon as
possible and might take her along. She will enjoy that. She has been playing
phone tag with the mother but it seems all went well with the delivery.

On another topic, my daughter has been bugging me to download AIM so she can
talk with friends online. I had allowed that about 2 years ago until I
walked in and read what was being typed. Cuss words like they were drunken
sailors. So that was the end of that. Here I am trying it again. I told her
it is on a trial bases and that I CAN and WILL evaluate what is being typed
anytime I want. She said ok. I told her if chats get racy, it would be in
her best interest to make no comments and cut out. So I see AIM doesn't
archive chats. I know there are tons of computer knowledge out in this group
so can someone direct me to a place I can download a program to save these
chats, if need arises that I should read??? I know Yahoo archives but I
don't see anything for aim. We do not have AOL btw.

So she puts all her many friends on her list. I signed on just a few moments
ago and one of her friends was online. I didn't speak to her..... wonder why
she isn't in school!?!?!?! She has some poetry that was a bit disturbing
(youth..... lol) and a link to her personal webpage. You had to click on the
word motherf---- to get to it. Yeah, lovely. That page being not so great
and all did give some incite. I wonder if her mother has read the site???
There are accusations in the quest book that she is giving head, a wrist
cutter and some other nice things. She uses cuss words like its nothing. She
talks of a make out session though the details of how far it went is vague.
Did I mention that I won't have my kid over there ever again???????? Why is
the mom allowing this 13 year old to go to boys houses to 'hang out'????? Am
I the only mom that wouldn't allow that????? Am I the odd ball here????

Sigh..... I wish I could go back in time. (I watched the Butterfly Effect
last night... .gets me to thinking, I COULD do it right.)

It's good that you have the opportunity to have this bird's eye view
into her buddy list. I would take most of the information you discover
with a big grain of salt, though. All the kids cuss like this and talk
big and are drama queens. I was shocked one day when I walked through
the halls of middle school between classes. Every word was f-this and
s-that... even from the honor students. Some of it might be true, too,
though. But, it could be possible whether AIM was in place or not, you
know?

Try to check out your daughter's AIM profile and her links she offers,
too. You might find a link to livejournal.com or a photobuddy site or
something. It's all made publicly, so you're not really spying. Don't
react or you'll burn your bridges. It's easy for kids to hide stuff.

Now-a-days is no different than way-back-when. The technology is just
different. It's all about trusting them with the privilege that you've
given. Letting her have AIM is letting her chat with privacy.
Archiving it for your reading defeats the purpose of that step. Tell
her how to block IMs and remind her about the weirdos out there.

My two-cents.
Karen

"Joelle" wrote in message
...
id I mention that I won't have my kid over there ever again???????? Why
is
the mom allowing this 13 year old to go to boys houses to 'hang out'?????
Am
I the only mom that wouldn't allow that????? Am I the odd ball here????

You aren't the only one. But's it's a tough battle.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

I suppose the key is to stay on top of things at all times, as much as
humanly possible. I just think she is to young at this point for dating or
hanging out with guys. She has friends who can also go to the movies with
guys..... a parent might take them but they are alone in the theater. I can
tell you one thing, a lot can happen in the back of a theater. lol

T

"V" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
snip
On another topic, my daughter has been bugging me to download AIM so she
can
talk with friends online. I had allowed that about 2 years ago until I
walked in and read what was being typed. Cuss words like they were
drunken
sailors. So that was the end of that. Here I am trying it again. I told
her
it is on a trial bases and that I CAN and WILL evaluate what is being
typed
anytime I want. She said ok. I told her if chats get racy, it would be in
her best interest to make no comments and cut out. So I see AIM doesn't
archive chats. I know there are tons of computer knowledge out in this
group
so can someone direct me to a place I can download a program to save
these
chats, if need arises that I should read??? I know Yahoo archives but I
don't see anything for aim. We do not have AOL btw.

So she puts all her many friends on her list. I signed on just a few
moments
ago and one of her friends was online. I didn't speak to her..... wonder
why
she isn't in school!?!?!?! She has some poetry that was a bit disturbing
(youth..... lol) and a link to her personal webpage. You had to click on
the
word motherf---- to get to it. Yeah, lovely.

Net Nanny.
Get it.
Use it.
V



I will look it up for sure. Thanks for the suggestion. I found only a few
programs that can log AIM, outside of keystroke logging programs. I am
hoping to find something free but if not, I will buy it.

Do you use Net Nanny or know someone who does? Is it good, reliable?

T

On 28 Sep 2004 18:30:27 GMT, oaway (Joelle) wrote:

This is such a hot
topic because at 13, she's a prime target for pedophiles so I advise against
it. I

It's not just pedophiles. My son is 16 and he does message boards for video
games and IMS...and he got in some sort of disagreement - you know out of
proportion adults can be about online discussions! and kids were harrassing him
with IMs. This is a kid that has enought to deal with and the net was supposed
to be his escape from reality!

He was really upset and then we talked and he realized there's weridos all over
and I made sure he knew how to block Ims.

You have to keep an eye on all these things.

Joelle
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

For sure. My daughter was once bullied online by kids who were already
bullying her at school. She came to me about it and we logged the
chats with her full awareness. I gathered only a single conversation
before I had enough to show up on the other parent's doorstep with the
printout in hand. Nice, responsible parent. Never happened with that
kid again, and my daughter learned some things about self protection.

Here you go, Tiff. This is the one we used. Logs *every* keystroke, if
you want it to: http://www.e-spy-software.com/ This, of course, is
likely to be a very updated version from what I had. I think I did
this about five or six years ago now.

Cele

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"V" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
snip
On another topic, my daughter has been bugging me to download AIM so she
can
talk with friends online. I had allowed that about 2 years ago until I
walked in and read what was being typed. Cuss words like they were
drunken
sailors. So that was the end of that. Here I am trying it again. I told
her
it is on a trial bases and that I CAN and WILL evaluate what is being
typed
anytime I want. She said ok. I told her if chats get racy, it would be in
her best interest to make no comments and cut out. So I see AIM doesn't
archive chats. I know there are tons of computer knowledge out in this
group
so can someone direct me to a place I can download a program to save
these
chats, if need arises that I should read??? I know Yahoo archives but I
don't see anything for aim. We do not have AOL btw.

So she puts all her many friends on her list. I signed on just a few
moments
ago and one of her friends was online. I didn't speak to her..... wonder
why
she isn't in school!?!?!?! She has some poetry that was a bit disturbing
(youth..... lol) and a link to her personal webpage. You had to click on
the
word motherf---- to get to it. Yeah, lovely.

Net Nanny.
Get it.
Use it.
V



I will look it up for sure. Thanks for the suggestion. I found only a few
programs that can log AIM, outside of keystroke logging programs. I am
hoping to find something free but if not, I will buy it.

Do you use Net Nanny or know someone who does? Is it good, reliable?

T



My sister does. There are also so many new programs available. Just ask around
computer software stores.
Take care,
V

"V" wrote in message ...

Net Nanny.
Get it.
Use it.

When do you stop Net Nanny? A certain age? When they move out? Do you
install cameras in their room, search their backpacks, tap the phone,
read their diaries? I mean, at some point, you gotta know your kid and
you know when it's time to let them make some of these decisions for
themselves. You can't keep them in a cave and then release them at 18
years old. Letting kids be responsible for a lot of these connections
can really help them learn to make good decisions when they're older.

Karen

On 28 Sep 2004 21:11:50 -0700, (Karen O'Mara) wrote:

"V" wrote in message ...

Net Nanny.
Get it.
Use it.

When do you stop Net Nanny? A certain age? When they move out? Do you
install cameras in their room, search their backpacks, tap the phone,
read their diaries? I mean, at some point, you gotta know your kid and
you know when it's time to let them make some of these decisions for
themselves. You can't keep them in a cave and then release them at 18
years old. Letting kids be responsible for a lot of these connections
can really help them learn to make good decisions when they're older.

Karen

Absolutely. They don't wake up adults on their magic birthday without
practising for adulthood first. :-)

Cele

"Cele" wrote in message
...
On 28 Sep 2004 21:11:50 -0700, (Karen O'Mara) wrote:

"V" wrote in message
...

Net Nanny.
Get it.
Use it.

When do you stop Net Nanny? A certain age? When they move out? Do you
install cameras in their room, search their backpacks, tap the phone,
read their diaries? I mean, at some point, you gotta know your kid and
you know when it's time to let them make some of these decisions for
themselves. You can't keep them in a cave and then release them at 18
years old. Letting kids be responsible for a lot of these connections
can really help them learn to make good decisions when they're older.

Karen

Absolutely. They don't wake up adults on their magic birthday without
practising for adulthood first. :-)

Cele

I agree.......just like drinking.....I think it is absurd the way the
drinking age laws are established and enforced.....as if turning 21 (or 19
across the border) somehow magically makes you mature and responsible.

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Cele" wrote in message
...
On 28 Sep 2004 21:11:50 -0700, (Karen O'Mara) wrote:

"V" wrote in message
...

Net Nanny.
Get it.
Use it.

When do you stop Net Nanny? A certain age? When they move out? Do you
install cameras in their room, search their backpacks, tap the phone,
read their diaries? I mean, at some point, you gotta know your kid and
you know when it's time to let them make some of these decisions for
themselves. You can't keep them in a cave and then release them at 18
years old. Letting kids be responsible for a lot of these connections
can really help them learn to make good decisions when they're older.

Karen

Absolutely. They don't wake up adults on their magic birthday without
practising for adulthood first. :-)

Cele

I agree.......just like drinking.....I think it is absurd the way the
drinking age laws are established and enforced.....as if turning 21 (or 19
across the border) somehow magically makes you mature and responsible.





I agree there is no magic age, each child is different and matures. I think
though that child must be watched and protected. I believe what some are
saying is that using things like Net Nanny is invasive and intrusive and
child should be trusted... treated like adults in order for them to learn to
act like adults. Thing is, my kid is FAR from an adult. She is a confused -
barely teenager - in the body of a women, raging hormones and all. My
concerns are NOT of her reading porno or looking at websites that teach you
how to build a bomb. My concern is BOYS. (Yeah, Paul, you get that part,
right? lol) I have already caught her talking smack on the phone, not once
either. I know that she has kissed and I don't think it was just a nice one
on the cheek. Where? The school yard, waiting for the buses to come. She did
tell me after some prying. Would she come to me if she was thinking of
taking things farther? I doubt it. No matter how I tell her to trust me,
that we would have her put on BC, ect. I still can't say for sure she would
talk to me first. Would she talk to another adult? I hope so. So if
monitoring her online chats someday tell me that she is talking about
getting it on with some dude at the next football game, and I can bring up a
nice talk about it BEFORE it happens and MAYBE prevent if for another few
months or years...... then I think it is well worth it. Besides, it was the
condition of her being able to use AIM again. She knows it is being
monitored.

Sorry, ranting on and on.

T

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"P.Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Cele" wrote in message
...
On 28 Sep 2004 21:11:50 -0700, (Karen O'Mara) wrote:

"V" wrote in message
...

Net Nanny.
Get it.
Use it.

When do you stop Net Nanny? A certain age? When they move out? Do you
install cameras in their room, search their backpacks, tap the phone,
read their diaries? I mean, at some point, you gotta know your kid and
you know when it's time to let them make some of these decisions for
themselves. You can't keep them in a cave and then release them at 18
years old. Letting kids be responsible for a lot of these connections
can really help them learn to make good decisions when they're older.

Karen

Absolutely. They don't wake up adults on their magic birthday without
practising for adulthood first. :-)

Cele

I agree.......just like drinking.....I think it is absurd the way the
drinking age laws are established and enforced.....as if turning 21 (or
19
across the border) somehow magically makes you mature and responsible.





I agree there is no magic age, each child is different and matures. I
think
though that child must be watched and protected. I believe what some are
saying is that using things like Net Nanny is invasive and intrusive and
child should be trusted... treated like adults in order for them to learn
to
act like adults. Thing is, my kid is FAR from an adult. She is a
confused -
barely teenager - in the body of a women, raging hormones and all. My
concerns are NOT of her reading porno or looking at websites that teach
you
how to build a bomb. My concern is BOYS. (Yeah, Paul, you get that part,
right? lol) I have already caught her talking smack on the phone, not
once
either. I know that she has kissed and I don't think it was just a nice
one
on the cheek. Where? The school yard, waiting for the buses to come. She
did
tell me after some prying. Would she come to me if she was thinking of
taking things farther? I doubt it. No matter how I tell her to trust me,
that we would have her put on BC, ect. I still can't say for sure she
would
talk to me first. Would she talk to another adult? I hope so. So if
monitoring her online chats someday tell me that she is talking about
getting it on with some dude at the next football game, and I can bring up
a
nice talk about it BEFORE it happens and MAYBE prevent if for another few
months or years...... then I think it is well worth it. Besides, it was
the
condition of her being able to use AIM again. She knows it is being
monitored.

Sorry, ranting on and on.

T


Forutnately, mine is still embarrassed about buying a bra. :-)

But "I know it won't last too much longer